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RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 2:08:38 AM

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/30/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamwhoiamabc123
This is supposed to be an educated forum not a flaming rape rage over one fucking word.

Practice what you preach.

Screaming at dominants, by the way, is not how you be a perfect sub. You got the bitch part right though. Though the shouty kind of amuses me as a Homestuck.

Anyway, what makes 'perfect' is pretty much individual person to person.

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamwhoiamabc123

I'm trying, really I am but honestly I came here looking for answers. I already know there is no perfect slave or submissive, that why I put what would your be and instead I got a bunch of worthless messages relating to one word. Like people get a life and stay the fuck away from my forum.

It's, umm, not your forum, that's the weird thing about the internet, it's like a box of chocolates that's full of guns that are full of grenades that are full of sharks that are full of hydrated pitbulls... you never know what you're gonna get when you open it up and poke it, but it's probably not going to be cotton candy.

I saw a lot of decent advice relating to what individuals want. Strong men who chose to submit, stood out to me. As well as not being an asshole, paying attention, putting the domme in question first. Those are all points I echo. Things like calling the posters here worthless are definitely not on the list of 'good submissive traits'. Graciously dealing with criticism, considering the things that are handed to you, learning from life's lessons... those are things I value in a potential sub. I ideally want someone who's calm, who weathers storms, someone who can take everything stoically, and then, even as much as they endure, they chose to let me past their walls and into the part of their soul that's been waiting to submit and let someone else lead the way for a while.

Also, clear communication is a big thing for me. I don't like fnangling around the point, I say what I mean and I don't like people who expect me to baby them, and I hate people who expect me to read their minds. I'm pretty sure that one's almost universal, communication = good.

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 6:23:33 AM

iamwhoiamabc123

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline

Thank you for all the new replies these are what I'm looking for, factors, traits, suggestions, and methods behind being a submissive. Please post on!

(in reply to MsNatascha)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 6:27:57 AM

iamwhoiamabc123

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline

Lol again you keeping on assuming I'm trying to learn how to be a submissive, I'm not people I'm not a dominant either thats why I identify as "vanilla" because I'm neither, And good job you noticed the two or three post out of the 7 that were actually useful the rest were a waste of space and I'm pretty sure I mentioned those people.

Maybe somebody needs to stop quoting certain sentences and start trying to see the bigger picture of meaning behind the words I put in bold lettering.

(in reply to Dreamless)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 6:34:28 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamwhoiamabc123

Lol again you keeping on assuming I'm trying to learn how to be a submissive, I'm not people I'm not a dominant either thats why I identify as "vanilla" because I'm neither, And good job you noticed the two or three post out of the 7 that were actually useful the rest were a waste of space and I'm pretty sure I mentioned those people.

Maybe somebody needs to stop quoting certain sentences and start trying to see the bigger picture of meaning behind the words I put in bold lettering.

Cupcake, you are 18. Your attitude in this thread shows us that you can't even dominate your own dick, let alone try to "dominate" a room full of sadistic, dominant women (or their "friends").

Might I suggest you actually try to figure out who you are by getting involved in the community (you know, you can just watch at a play party). Chances are you come across better in person than you do online.

This is an adult site. We expect people to act like adults instead of throwing tantrums because they are being "misunderstood". A HUGE part of BDSM or D/s is communication. If you aren't being understood by the majority, then the problem is with YOUR communication skills, not with them.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 6:35:21 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamwhoiamabc123

Lol again you keeping on assuming I'm trying to learn how to be a submissive, I'm not people I'm not a dominant either thats why I identify as "vanilla" because I'm neither, And good job you noticed the two or three post out of the 7 that were actually useful the rest were a waste of space and I'm pretty sure I mentioned those people.

Maybe somebody needs to stop quoting certain sentences and start trying to see the bigger picture of meaning behind the words I put in bold lettering.

You want some advice? Fine.

Learn some manners. That's first.

You are coming across as arrogant and immature. And you're whining that people aren't reading your posts how you want, instead of taking responsibility for writing posts that say what you mean.

I realize that you had thought that the lifestyle was about a lovely woman dressed in kinky outfits topping you. Well, before you get there, you've got to meet the women and impress them first. That means manners, conversation, and a good attitude. After that, the kink will follow.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 6:45:28 AM

Posts: 62
Joined: 4/23/2012
Status: offline

I believe it is you that has been the waste of space.

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamwhoiamabc123

Lol again you keeping on assuming I'm trying to learn how to be a submissive, I'm not people I'm not a dominant either thats why I identify as "vanilla" because I'm neither, And good job you noticed the two or three post out of the 7 that were actually useful the rest were a waste of space and I'm pretty sure I mentioned those people.

Maybe somebody needs to stop quoting certain sentences and start trying to see the bigger picture of meaning behind the words I put in bold lettering.

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 6:59:39 AM

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamwhoiamabc123

Thank you for all the new replies these are what I'm looking for, factors, traits, suggestions, and methods behind being a submissive. Please post on!

Kid, you have a lot to learn. Not simply about kink, but about life and using the internet.

First, your initial post comes off as someone looking for what is called "wank material." That's when you look for people to post things of a sexual nature to get you off. That's all I saw from your first post, and thought you were damn lucky the ladies were in a good mood and gave you some valid advice.

You screaming comment about "be a little more entertaining" really support the wank fodder search.

Second, you have already been told about the caps lock, which at 18, I'm sure you are aware of.

You are clueless as to what "flaming" is. It has been explained, so try to figure it out.

This is NOT "your" forum. You started a thread, and your posts belong to you, however, thanks to your behavior, you have pretty well screwed yourself from ever getting one of the ladies here to take you on as their sub. You blew it.

You behave like a child, you will be treated as such. You are 18 years old, and you are all hot and bothered by the idea of BDSM but you have no clue what it is.

The fact that you actually tried to claim the "vanilla" term over your name is hysterical. Many of us have been on this forum since before you knew to stand up and take a piss.

As much as you hate hearing it...grow the fuck up.

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:05:15 AM

iamwhoiamabc123

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline

Lol you know what fine I'm just done with thread you guys must seriously not know how to read and btw play parties are for 21 an older, you say this is an adult forum and yet all your trying to do is feed the pointless of who right and who is wrong.

What do you want an apology I could the majority if not all dont even give two fucks about what I have to say because all they can see is:
1st the word bitch
2nd I get mad of pointless posts and flaming
3rd get defensive over knowing their breaking the rules of "flaming"
4th to stupid to just move
5th Can't use the technique of ignoring this post and just moving on

I mean common the whole reason why I'm here is yes because know nothing about this life, you taught me a lesson not use the word bitch for more the half of the first page. If you can't understand why I got mad because of that you need to read the rules of this forum, before even considering posting.

Have you ever thought that maybe I dont know I'm trying to figure whats safe and not safe?
Have you ever thought to think maybe I dont know this 18 year is trying to learn about how dominants think.

The majority of the advice is very helpful and I would appreciate more.

This whole project is to try and pick out various principles of separates this life from criminal life, because correct if I'm wrong, but for a really long time this was considered underground activity. I'm here to make the point that this is simply a fun activity adults do for entertainment.

(This is not relevant to this forum) Identifying as a sadist in the eyes of the law is a rapist. I want to know how I can separate that in court because I dont how many "masochist" actually get off my taking the people that harmed them to court just to sue the living shit of them.

I'm asking the questions because they matter, its my fault that I could of asked them in a more formal way, but as I mentioned before I didn't know that the term "bitch" is such a bad word whne people here identify as sadist, sluts, whores, rapists, masochist, slave, sex slaves the list goes on.

So I apologize for getting upset, but in my eyes (the eyes of someone who does not know anything about this life) thought honestly that this forum was a waste of time and I should just throw myself at there and see for myself.

I'm sure I'm going to keeping getting flamed but pointless people who have nothing better to do in life but to comment on a guy just trying to learn,but again I'm just going to start ignoring those people now as I see there are a lot of them on here!

Good luck to you all (even the pointless flamers)
I hope to hear from educated people soon!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:06:57 AM

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

OP,
You have just unwittingly given a seminar on how to be a TERRIBLE sub.

You have been rude, impatient, whiny, immature, and oafish. None of these traits are high on the average Dommme's wish list.

Hopefully, you'll see that there is a great deal to be learned from this thread. It's full of valuable information. It's just not in the places that you're choosing to look.

Good luck in your quest. But sometimes all it takes to find what you seek is a change in perspective.
-Roch

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 5/7/2013 7:11:08 AM >

_____________________________

"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

(in reply to searching4mysir)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:07:45 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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We're trying to educate you. Seems like it's not working.

Best of luck.

"Identifying as a sadist in the eyes of the law is a rapist."

WHAT?!??!!?

The law does not recognize the concept of sadists. I believe that you're trying to say that play, in the eyes of the law, cannot be consensual so that a Top is committing assault.

Edited to add:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

OP,
You have just unwittingly given a seminar on how to be a TERRIBLE sub.

You have been rude, impatient, whiny, immature, and oafish. None of these traits are high on the average Dommme's wis list.

Hopefully, you'll see that there is a great deal to be learned from this thread. It's full of valuable information. It's just not in the places that you're choosing to look.

Good luck in your quest. But sometimes all it takes to find what you seek is a change in perspective.
-Roch

OP, you should listen to Rochsub. He's got Dommes attracted to him - he's exactly what you'd like to be. A good role model - look at some of his posts and his profile.

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 5/7/2013 7:11:40 AM >

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:11:45 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamwhoiamabc123

Lol again you keeping on assuming I'm trying to learn how to be a submissive, I'm not

Maybe somebody needs to stop quoting certain sentences and start trying to see the bigger
picture of meaning behind the words I put in bold lettering.

And yet, the title of this thread that YOU posted is How can I be the perfect straight sub?

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:17:34 AM

iamwhoiamabc123

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline

Yes educate me,
Make a point,
Seven other people if not more now have made the same point,
Forgive me for taking that a threat toward my intelligence.

and yes they do now identify as sadist, why do I say this because I'm learning about it at my college in sociology which btw is the study of society in case you didn't know.

If in court a person is caught not only raping but inflicting pain on their subject and getting off by it and lawyer can suggest that this is not only battering rape, but also that it is a concept of play known as sadism. This could then be used to defend the rapist if they have probably cause that it was planned or it could be used against the defense in suggesting that this is 1st hand rape and battering due to the amount planning it would take to inflict as much pain on a victim as possible and still be able to do it without getting caught.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:20:53 AM

iamwhoiamabc123

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline

Its a statement I could of use what is your perfect sub, but that would raise biased opinions I wanted people to look at my body and make a statement based upon my body and my fatigue. It seems however this thread has just been a failure. lol I will be completely serious the next time a try and post something so nobody gets but hurt and start crying about all the little details in a post instead actually contributing.

Thank you assholes and have a great day!

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:22:53 AM

iamwhoiamabc123

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline

Here we go quoting again, please just get a life

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:26:31 AM

iamwhoiamabc123

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline

Oh look more flaming, I think we're getting somewhere now. I can't wait to have more dumb asses post on here!

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:28:28 AM

iamwhoiamabc123

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline

Lol the life of kink people when this one!

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:30:28 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamwhoiamabc123

Yes educate me,
Make a point,
Seven other people if not more now have made the same point,
Forgive me for taking that a threat toward my intelligence.

and yes they do now identify as sadist, why do I say this because I'm learning about it at my college in sociology which btw is the study of society in case you didn't know.

If in court a person is caught not only raping but inflicting pain on their subject and getting off by it and lawyer can suggest that this is not only battering rape, but also that it is a concept of play known as sadism. This could then be used to defend the rapist if they have probably cause that it was planned or it could be used against the defense in suggesting that this is 1st hand rape and battering due to the amount planning it would take to inflict as much pain on a victim as possible and still be able to do it without getting caught.

I DO know what sociology is.

Um. Sociology is not the study of criminal law, which you are trying to explain.

You are making the point that premeditation could be construed from the postulated existence of sadism. I'm not sure that that's a valid point.

I've not heard of firsthand rape. I haven't even heard of first degree rape, which is what I think you meant. I'll ask my sub, who's a lawyer.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:42:19 AM

iamwhoiamabc123

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline

Yes but sociologist can find methods that will help the law system. That is what sociologist do they find problem and they fix.

I obviously blew the shit this thread into a giant pointless fight that I keep losing.

There better be otherwise the court cases I have been observing have been bogus then.

Rape just isn't rape anymore. There are like 12 different types of rapist now, all having their own way of pleasing themselves. I'm trying to figure out what separates rape from play. Besides the obvious intent of being arranged and agreed upon.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:49:06 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamwhoiamabc123
I'm trying to figure out what separates rape from play. Besides the obvious intent of being arranged and agreed upon.

Oh, boy.

Rape is forcible sex.

Play (at least the healthy kind) is consensual. It frequently doesn't include sex, although it often does.

One special kind of play is rape play, in which someone is sort-of forced. There should be very well-described limits, and a safeword that is NOT the word "no". So the bottom can protest and fight and the scene goes on.

Rape play (aka consensual nonconsent or resistance play) is something I'm interested by but know that I'm not u[ to making a scene like that. Too many possibilities of things going wrong. Flashbacks, panic attacks, etc.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)

RE: How can I be the perfect straight sub? - 5/7/2013 7:52:06 AM

iamwhoiamabc123

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline

Exactly so whats to stop someone from doing rape play with someone and then taking him to court.

P.S. I feel this should be in a different thread?

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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