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RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 9/12/2013 7:13:27 AM

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It relates to the terminology used throughout this thread, it was part of my inspiration for posting it, because the terminology here is all gender based, in the exact way I am referring to. But I suppose it would probably be more useful as a thread of its own, probably generate a good discussion, so actually thats a good idea, thanks.

(in reply to TNDommeK)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 9/12/2013 7:41:34 AM

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Actually I suppose this is a good question, from the original post.

I can't say its an area that I understand or relate to at all. What do finsubs get out of this relationship, whatever the relationship is?

Like what do they themselves have to say about it....

or do I need to read the entire thread to get to the complexity, of what, on the outside sometimes looks a bit like a business (online), and sometimes looks like a sort of different d/s relationship (in real life relationships)?

Does it actually involve BDSM in the broader sense, physical or emotive, or roleplay, or only in the financial sense specifically?

Also a master, mistress, dom, or domme is roughly supposed to actually care for the outcomes of the slave or sub, in the way that it is consensual, and non-abusive (that the persons life or psychological state isn't ruined and so forth). In that there is some responsibility.

Does the same apply to these findommes? Do they prevent financial ruin, or show interest in psychological unbalance, ie are there reasonable ethical borders to this kink? Do they have responsibility?

Or does this depend more what kind of findomme scenario this is?

I guess this is probably the last time I'll give it any thought a tall, but I was struck by a moment of curiosity if anyone has the inclination for a few sentence summary from a sub POV or otherwise...

< Message edited by NiceAnimal -- 9/12/2013 7:57:11 AM >

(in reply to NiceAnimal)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 9/12/2013 10:11:20 AM

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You should go to the general BDSM section and check out "is fin Dom a legit form of D/s"
All your questions have answers. It's a long thread but a great read.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to NiceAnimal)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 9/12/2013 2:44:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceAnimal
I guess this is probably the last time I'll give it any thought a tall, but I was struck by a moment of curiosity if anyone has the inclination for a few sentence summary from a sub POV or otherwise...

I can try to sum up my learnings as I followed all this. Take this as non-authoritative... just one guy's summary.

I came to think of it like M/s relationships. Some of them are deliberately abusive. Most are accidentally abusive, and some work out really well. It very much depends on the participants. In that same way some of the findommes that I see very much like abusive... the "running a business" variety. Honestly, I doubt all that much money is made from this and if a lot of money was being made then I suspect that the findomme in question must be delivering something of value... that makes sense, neh?

On the other end of the spectrum you have much more relationship oriented findommes and truthfully, other than the title, it's a big snooze. That's why [temporarily] it says "Findom" under my name. I'm master in my house. I control the finances including Carol's career and all the money she earns. Yeah... big snooze because we're a married couple and such things are pretty common.

Overall, my assessment is that a lot of people thought they could get some free cash because someone made a website about being a findomme and they all piled onto collarme and similar sites hoping to make a buck in a tight economy. My suspicion is that it's way more smoke than fire. I also think that just like TPE or M/s couples, it's easy to speculate how abusive it could be. But a sensible person looks at each relationship one at a time and makes assessments as they need to rather than using a big black brush.

My 2c worth.

_____________________________

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officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to NiceAnimal)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 9/27/2013 10:58:49 PM

ThePrincessKali

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I know I'm not a sub and probably biased because I am a fin domme but I second that it should have it's own section because this topic has been beat to death. Some fin dommes are more like "cam girls" and strip and what not. I personally don't do that. I have never had any sexual contact with a sub, nor have I ever showed myself in any less than normal everyday street clothes so we're not prostitutes.

In my experience the only people who get really upset over finiancial domination are the guys who want to get off without any reciprocation, no desire to establish a relationship or get to know a domme for who they are as a woman, they just want to get off. Generally they aren't really submissives, they just have some type of a fantasy about being dominated or humiliated by a woman and have a very specific idea in their heads about how they want it to happen. And most dommes (finanacial or not) don't want to cater to exactly what some dude wants so he can get off, without any benefit to them. So these "submissives" find the only women willing to comply with their fantasy want money in retur, because shockingly real dommes don't want to spend their time giving a complete stranger wank material.

And everyone else doesn't seem to care because it has no effect on them what so ever. I mean there are a whole bunch of fetishes that I am not particularly interested in but what other people do with their time is their business, not mine.

(in reply to kalikshama)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/5/2013 8:53:43 AM

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I just am sick of the first contact from a Domme is as follows... Hey pay piggie! You make all that money now give it to me or be punished! Hurry up you sub human yadeee yadeee....... You get the point. Its sad that some feel being a submissive is somehow sub human. Oh well to each their own I just wish they would not contact me.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/5/2013 10:36:05 AM

searching4mysir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: polaranda

I just am sick of the first contact from a Domme is as follows... Hey pay piggie! You make all that money now give it to me or be punished! Hurry up you sub human yadeee yadeee....... You get the point. Its sad that some feel being a submissive is somehow sub human. Oh well to each their own I just wish they would not contact me.

It's called hover over the message to read it and "delete unread".

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(in reply to polaranda)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/5/2013 11:05:25 AM

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quote:

Oh well to each their own I just wish they would not contact me.

When I was looking, I wished that married cheating men would not contact me and dealt with this by Marking as Spam and Hiding them.

(in reply to polaranda)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/5/2013 11:22:58 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: polaranda
Oh well to each their own I just wish they would not contact me.

And I wish socially stunted men who think it's an appropriate first contact to tell me about the orifices they wish to shove their cocks into, wouldn't contact me either.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to polaranda)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/6/2013 4:06:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden

quote:

there are a shit load of people out there who cook for free, does that mean you never go out to eat and pay someone else to cook for you? What about sports? Lots of people play ball for the fun of it, does that mean we should stop pro sports? And what makes you think the only enjoyment they get is from the cash? Have you ever met a pro domme or a fin domme? Why is it that people have no problems with paying others to do all kinds of shit for them, but when it comes to this suddenly it should be free?

The only real issue I've seen here with findommes is that guys are shocked when they find they have to pay. They figure they're looking at a social website with personals, not pay for play. When you go to a restaurant you bring your wallet expecting to pay, but when you're invited to someone's home it's a bit of a shock when they want you to have the groceries delivered to them before they'll tell you where they live.

Ha! Indeed! Not just a problem with findomming either - I do webcamming as I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, so I do pay for play cam sessions on a site where you pay as you go. The amount of times I get asked if we can go to Skype so we can "get to know each other better" or "so we can have more time together"...It's a PAID cam site, I'm not there to meet potential dates or lovers, I'm there to get my clothes off and get their rocks off AND make a bit of cash too!

(in reply to evesgrden)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/6/2013 4:21:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatBBW
Ha! Indeed! Not just a problem with findomming either - I do webcamming as I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, so I do pay for play cam sessions on a site where you pay as you go. The amount of times I get asked if we can go to Skype so we can "get to know each other better" or "so we can have more time together"...It's a PAID cam site, I'm not there to meet potential dates or lovers, I'm there to get my clothes off and get their rocks off AND make a bit of cash too!

I think this is a good summary of why a lot of people don't like Findommes.

The average response is "Get a proper job and stop sponging off others!!".

(in reply to CatBBW)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/6/2013 4:27:43 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatBBW
Ha! Indeed! Not just a problem with findomming either - I do webcamming as I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, so I do pay for play cam sessions on a site where you pay as you go. The amount of times I get asked if we can go to Skype so we can "get to know each other better" or "so we can have more time together"...It's a PAID cam site, I'm not there to meet potential dates or lovers, I'm there to get my clothes off and get their rocks off AND make a bit of cash too!

I think this is a good summary of why a lot of people don't like Findommes.

The average response is "Get a proper job and stop sponging off others!!".

I think you'll find the taxman sees my findomming/prodomming/webcammingas a proper job, thanks. It's not the only one I do, so I'm not reliant on "sponging off others".

Now there's a point. I work in my *real* vanilla job and I get paid for the work I do. Am I sponging off the person who hired me then? If I was employed by a small company with one boss - the owner. Am I sponging off him/her because I'm taking money for the service I offered?

< Message edited by CatBBW -- 10/6/2013 4:56:30 AM >

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/8/2013 1:34:22 PM

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NM.....

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to CatBBW)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/8/2013 5:30:33 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: polaranda
Oh well to each their own I just wish they would not contact me.

And I wish socially stunted men who think it's an appropriate first contact to tell me about the orifices they wish to shove their cocks into, wouldn't contact me either.

Well fuck. I'm so sorry.
In my defense, I only tried that approach because TNDomme swore that's what you responded too

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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
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(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/9/2013 9:10:29 AM

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So...you're blaming K, huh?

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Kana)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 10/10/2013 2:43:46 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

So...you're blaming K, huh?

Exactamundo
(Always blame the FinDomme-they have zero credibility with a huge chunk o the peanut gallery anywho

)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 12/5/2013 10:40:36 AM

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Findom has been around along time. I know it's a fetish/lifestyle that has become very popular, every where, every Femdom site has a slew of Findom Men and women. It's not my fetish nor something I indulge in. I recognize it however. I just feel disrespected when a Mistress demands payment for just chatting. It gets worse around the holidays, it feels like everyone wants a handout. Perhaps I am wrong but if a dominant wants to own a sub/slave, I think they should be the provider and not the other way around.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: What do subs think of FinDommes? - 12/5/2013 11:01:08 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ValhallaRising
Perhaps I am wrong but if a dominant wants to own a sub/slave, I think they should be the provider and not the other way around.

Why?

Traditionally, slaves were used to produce income for their owners. (Think about it, families who were not wealthy would buy a field/labor slave before they bought a household slave.)

We also live in an age where it typically takes two incomes to even be a middle class family.

So, why do you think it's incumbent on the Dominant to be the only one working to support the sub/slave? Why is it wrong for the sub/slave to be the provider?

Personally, I think it's more important to work as a team to find a situation that works for both of you, than to make broad statements based on orientation.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ValhallaRising)

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