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RE: Dom is different - 6/10/2013 10:59:31 PM

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The thing I learned from this thread or forums was really nothing, the doms seemed to say some interesting stuff. I've had doms talk to me regardless of this. I have respect for the doms. as for these subs i have met you dont seem to have class with the way your talking. As for the subs that have gave Ur opinion or ragged on or put down me or him or whatever. You spoke it's done leave it alone. Let it go I have. I made a mistake on asking a question but in tail I didn't say things correct but still I read other threads and people are straight mean or just unhappy. I just wish I could delete this thread. Thank you to the kind gestures of some of you.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 12:00:26 AM

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

The thing I learned from this thread or forums was really nothing, the doms seemed to say some interesting stuff. I've had doms talk to me regardless of this. I have respect for the doms. as for these subs i have met you dont seem to have class with the way your talking. As for the subs that have gave Ur opinion or ragged on or put down me or him or whatever. You spoke it's done leave it alone. Let it go I have. I made a mistake on asking a question but in tail I didn't say things correct but still I read other threads and people are straight mean or just unhappy. I just wish I could delete this thread. Thank you to the kind gestures of some of you.

It's a beautiful thing to behold, no? Watching the regulars engaging in a mob feeding frenzy because a newbie didn't phrase everything just right. Cheap shot heaven....

It's like deja vu, all over again - from the "Need Advice ASAP" thread.

Only thing missing is where I note the cliquey behaviour of it all - that's when it gets interesting...!

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:33:59 AM

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

The thing I learned from this thread or forums was really nothing, the doms seemed to say some interesting stuff. I've had doms talk to me regardless of this. I have respect for the doms. as for these subs i have met you dont seem to have class with the way your talking. As for the subs that have gave Ur opinion or ragged on or put down me or him or whatever. You spoke it's done leave it alone. Let it go I have. I made a mistake on asking a question but in tail I didn't say things correct but still I read other threads and people are straight mean or just unhappy. I just wish I could delete this thread. Thank you to the kind gestures of some of you.

Well, being told we aren't classy by someone who is dishonest really doesn't mean much now does it?

And of course men will contact you even though you are married. Plenty of dishonest men here as well, and they are happy to find a woman they can fuck NSA. It doesn't mean they are men any one who is looking for an honest relationship is going to want.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:37:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

The thing I learned from this thread or forums was really nothing, the doms seemed to say some interesting stuff. I've had doms talk to me regardless of this. I have respect for the doms. as for these subs i have met you dont seem to have class with the way your talking. As for the subs that have gave Ur opinion or ragged on or put down me or him or whatever. You spoke it's done leave it alone. Let it go I have. I made a mistake on asking a question but in tail I didn't say things correct but still I read other threads and people are straight mean or just unhappy. I just wish I could delete this thread. Thank you to the kind gestures of some of you.

It's a beautiful thing to behold, no? Watching the regulars engaging in a mob feeding frenzy because a newbie didn't phrase everything just right. Cheap shot heaven....

It's like deja vu, all over again - from the "Need Advice ASAP" thread.

Only thing missing is where I note the cliquey behaviour of it all - that's when it gets interesting...!

Focus.

It has nothing to do with her being a newbie and not wording things correct. It also has nothing to do with this "mob mentality" you seem so intent on.

This is a woman who is married and cheating on her husband. She is cheating because he doesn't know what she is doing. Her "dom" is also married and cheating on his wife. Neither of them have any integrity, honor or honesty, things you seem to hold dear.

Refusing to condone or coddle someone who is dishonest isn't mob mentality.

Now you can feel free to violate your personal code and be nice to the poor newbie, but don't expect everyone to do that.

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:43:56 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

The thing I learned from this thread or forums was really nothing, the doms seemed to say some interesting stuff. I've had doms talk to me regardless of this. I have respect for the doms. as for these subs i have met you dont seem to have class with the way your talking. As for the subs that have gave Ur opinion or ragged on or put down me or him or whatever. You spoke it's done leave it alone. Let it go I have. I made a mistake on asking a question but in tail I didn't say things correct but still I read other threads and people are straight mean or just unhappy. I just wish I could delete this thread. Thank you to the kind gestures of some of you.

Excellent.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:57:36 AM

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quote:

This is a woman who is married and cheating on her husband. She is cheating because he doesn't know what she is doing. Her "dom" is also married and cheating on his wife. Neither of them have any integrity, honor or honesty, things you seem to hold dear.

Yes. But we don't force others here to embrace our personal codes nor do we decide for them what their code should be. Get it?

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 9:04:24 AM

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Haven't been around for a while; this is my first post being back on the site. As with Focus, it has always surprised me how many on the site are so fast to judge others. Especially newbies. The responses given to the OP may not be rude, but they are as blunt as blunt can be. It surprises me because as a rule, most of us in BDSM are not a judgmental group. Much more it is live and let live.

I've seen this same routine so many times on the site. Newbie poses a question that people find objectionable in some way. Most who respond take a negative attitude towards the OP and make blind assumptions that they can in no way know for a fact. The responders say they aren't being rude, and perhaps they are not. But their responses surely cannot be considered positive advice.

The OP gets defensive and angry because they see everyone dumping on them. The group responds with a if-you-can't-take-the-heat-get-off-the-whipping-pole attitude. The OP ends up telling everyone to Fuck off. End of thread.

Yes there are regulars here where there usual response is blunt no matter what the topic. That's just who they are. A lot of others who I have seen post for a long time are not typically blunt individuals, but they become one in these types of threads. Hell, I've fallen into the same trap myself on more than one occasion. And I always have to sit back afterwards and examine why I posted the way I did.

It is a human condition I find most - interesting!

_____________________________

Equal in Worth, just Not in Power.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 9:27:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt
It surprises me because as a rule, most of us in BDSM are not a judgmental group. Much more it is live and let live.

Bull shit. The people within WIITWD are a slice of society and society is judgmental. Here's the thing, we try to be tolerant of each other's kinks, but lying isn't a kink. Cheating is lying on a large scale, which is a moral issue. Following your thought process, you present that we, as a community, should tolerate large scale liars?

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 9:33:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt
It surprises me because as a rule, most of us in BDSM are not a judgmental group. Much more it is live and let live.

Really? Because honestly I've always seen the BDSM people to be WAY, WAY, WAY more judgmental than the vanilla crowd... at least about BDSM stuff and relationships. The vanillas don't really care about BDSM stuff and they generally have a better grasp on the idea that there are "different strokes" (certain religious fundamentalist segments aside).

I myself avoided the cheating part because honestly I don't have a clue what is going on in such a situation. Any thought pattern that leads to two married people cheating on their spouse is so foreign to me that I just don't have any input on it. But let me play devil's advocate here. Like it or not, those of us who come here regularly have formed some sort of social structure.. let's just call it a "community" for now. Like most communities, there are norms and standards which have developed. Some of those I approve of... for instance, at least lip-service to honor and integrity. Others I do not, eg the focus on "punishment dynamics are childish/bad". But collectively they become the community culture. When someone comes in and flouts, knowingly or not, that culture the the locals get agitated.

This seems pretty normal human behavior to me exacerbated by the anonymity of the internet. How do you see it?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 10:30:28 AM

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Oside, rather I suggest that a question posted on a board from a person for whom, the majority of the time we know nothing about, not have their morality judged by us. We don't know what the circumstances are that has caused the OP to do what she is doing. Considering that the majority of people in the vanilla world would judge us as the immoral ones - does that make them right about us? Or are they ignorant of the facts.

Percentage wise, a hell of a lot more people cheat on their spouses than there are people in the BDSM community. Some studies put it as high as 50%. Seems to me that cheating is part of who we are as a species. People cheat for a whole host of reasons. Personally I am not willing to make a blanket judgement on someone who is cheating when I am ignorant of the facts surrounding their circumstances. It is as misguided as the vanilla world making a blanket judgement that all of us in BDSM are immoral.

_____________________________

Equal in Worth, just Not in Power.

(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 10:35:09 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt
Personally I am not willing to make a blanket judgement on someone who is cheating when I am ignorant of the facts surrounding their circumstances.

Personally, I think that unless their spouse has been in a coma for years.....there are no acceptable circumstances to cheat. I think it's cowardly to be willing to do harm to someone else to have an orgasm. Especially, if they have children.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 10:41:19 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I think it's cowardly to be willing to do harm to someone else to have an orgasm. Especially, if they have children.

Seldom, in my experience, is "having an orgasm" the reason for cheating. I have read zillions and zillions of threads from cheaters and cheatees on the TalkAboutMarraige.com forum (Lol, they should've called it talk about cheating). While incompatible sexuality comes up there's pretty much always a HOST of other issues in the marriage.

Like you, I prefer someone who prioritizes honor over other factors. But to dismiss the entire thing as "to have an orgasm" flies in the face of too much actual knowledge. It's akin to saying homeless people are just lazy slackers who need to get a job.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 10:52:02 AM

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Jeff,
I suspect that BDSM people and vanilla people are simply judgmental about different things. I don't think one subset is much different from another.

Norms and standards are a natural outcome of any community, no argument there. The situation is absolutely exacerbated by the anonymity of the Internet. An unfortunate consequence that often puts up stumbling blocks to discussion.

How do I see it? We in this lifestyle are a community that flouts the so called norms of society at large. Does that not demand of us some responsibility for not doing the same to those who come on here and break our own norms? Especially if they do so unknowingly?

_____________________________

Equal in Worth, just Not in Power.

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 11:05:51 AM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

How do I see it? We in this lifestyle are a community that flouts the so called norms of society at large.

First, what "lifestyle?" I don't live a lifestyle, I just live. I'm not part of the bill paying lifestyle when I pay my bills or part of the grocery shopping lifestyle when I stop in at Safeway.

Second, what "community?" This isn't a community. Having a shared interest with you does not mean we live in the same community.

quote:

Does that not demand of us some responsibility for not doing the same to those who come on here and break our own norms?

No, it doesn't.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 11:08:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
Like you, I prefer someone who prioritizes honor over other factors. But to dismiss the entire thing as "to have an orgasm" flies in the face of too much actual knowledge. It's akin to saying homeless people are just lazy slackers who need to get a job.

You are correct, and I do know that. I was just being flip.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 11:44:59 AM

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~FR

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 1:10:23 PM

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Omg really seriously people especially the ones who keep talking about cheating this website is for bdsm and that is what me and him are who the hell are u to judge get off your high horse stop commenting on this thread. I'm sick of your rude comments talking about my children his children who are you. I told you to stop. End of conversation. I just want this thread deleted. It's sickening me to keep hearing from these certain women. And then I see you viewing my profile too. Thank you to the Other people who have voiced your thoughts and talked trash. I can take the stuff but I have asked it to stop more than once.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 1:41:08 PM

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Collarme.com Forum Guidelines The primary intention of this board is to provide a forum for discussion and the exchange of ideas. Considering the natural diversity of opinion and expression, it is expected that disagreements will often occur. While debate is fine, postings of the sort generally known as "flames" is not. Participants are not expected to coddle one another, but they are expected to keep things within the realm of maturity.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminRho This is a reminder that per the guidelines of these forums, anyone is welcome to post anywhere.

So as you can see Cuteness2472 everyone so far has been within the guildlines. You can not tell people not to post and I assure you if any one did any flameing one of the Mods would have graced this post to tell them to cut it out. If you do not want anyone to read your profile HIDE IT. You came and asked advice and that is what you got like it or not. Your cheating on your spouse its a fact that you have not denied and that is frowned upon weither it be vanilla or WIITWD. Also if you do not want to know what others are writting that is very simple to take care of ........STOP READING WHAT THEY WRITE. Stop visiting this post its that easy.

Hopefully you and your Dom get all that you seek and then some....I will keep my fingers crossed for all the innocent people in both your lives that they do not get hurt.....having been through a few cheating partners I know the hurt well.

misty

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 1:52:29 PM

stef

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Joined: 1/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

I told you to stop. End of conversation.

Nobody cares. End of conversation.

quote:

I just want this thread deleted.

I want a pony.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 1:57:47 PM

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Joined: 7/1/2005
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...

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 6/11/2013 2:01:16 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to stef)

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