JeffBC
Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012 From: Canada Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt It surprises me because as a rule, most of us in BDSM are not a judgmental group. Much more it is live and let live. Really? Because honestly I've always seen the BDSM people to be WAY, WAY, WAY more judgmental than the vanilla crowd... at least about BDSM stuff and relationships. The vanillas don't really care about BDSM stuff and they generally have a better grasp on the idea that there are "different strokes" (certain religious fundamentalist segments aside). I myself avoided the cheating part because honestly I don't have a clue what is going on in such a situation. Any thought pattern that leads to two married people cheating on their spouse is so foreign to me that I just don't have any input on it. But let me play devil's advocate here. Like it or not, those of us who come here regularly have formed some sort of social structure.. let's just call it a "community" for now. Like most communities, there are norms and standards which have developed. Some of those I approve of... for instance, at least lip-service to honor and integrity. Others I do not, eg the focus on "punishment dynamics are childish/bad". But collectively they become the community culture. When someone comes in and flouts, knowingly or not, that culture the the locals get agitated. This seems pretty normal human behavior to me exacerbated by the anonymity of the internet. How do you see it?
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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie "You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss officially a member of the K Crowd
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