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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:06:30 AM

Posts: 800
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From: N. Carolina
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Heheheh, that brings back memories... of the first Wiccan circle I attended, an Oestara ritual way back in 1994 (yes, I discovered Wicca & the BDSM lifestyle at just about the same time! many of my friends were involved in both). I was SO nervous, I thought everybody was going to look like... well, you know, the cover on Silver Ravenwolf's "To Ride a Silver Broomstick." So when I walked in, all nerves, it was... WOW! just... people. Just regular people, coloring Easter eggs in the kitchen, go figure, LOLOL!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
One of the things I tell people who are nervous about attending their first munch is "Look at the average supermarket line. That's what the crowd is going to look like."

I went to my first public play at the dungeon in DC over the weekend and I agree completely with the above statement. It was just your average core sample of people.

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(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:15:51 AM

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
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Maybe they just stand out more..I have not noticed this to be true,ie numbers.
This is not a huge issue to me-barbie not being my ideal woman.
Even so, I am reminded of this quip...........
Someone overweight is insulted about it by another and retorts-

"Yes,I'm fat, but you're stupid-and I can lose weight!"

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:16:00 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes

Why does bdsm appear to attract far more than its' fair share of overweight women?

How can you really have an accurate count of the height/weight of all people into bdsm? This is a serious question.

You can only really know:

1) How many overweight people you see at BDSM events
2) How man overweight people you meet online in BDSM groups

My suggestion is that the nature of #1 and #2 are what attract more overweight people. There are MANY people into BDSM who do not go to events and who do not use the internet as a way to find partners. Do you believe professional models who are kinky have the time to go online and look for mates? Do you think that professional dancers, athletes use these mediums?

I also believe that more "traditional beautiful people" (or heavily made up, plastic surgeried, you named it) also have a much larger dating pool to choose from, and therefore are 1) more shallow (meaning they may go to a BDSM event once and never go back) or 2) have no problem "converting" vanilla people to be into kink -- at least for some period of time -- because these people want to be with them for their looks. They have no problem attracting partners for superficial reasons.

If you really had an accurate number of how many people enjoyed/practiced BDSM in all their relationships, I bet you'd find that the averages even out. The smaller sized people simply are not using the internet or BDSM munches as a way to meet partners.

I could just as easily ask why there are so many fat, bald men and men with poor hygeine at bdsm events and online. It's because the marathon runners, high powered charismatic CEOs, people with active and healthy lifestyles are NOT online as much, not likely to go to a BDSM event and not struggling to find partners.

Akasha

Akasha

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(in reply to sixstrokes)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:22:29 AM

Posts: 23574
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
(By the way, I'm my Daddy's sexy BBW and didn't have much problem gettin' all nekkid to play... if He thinks I'm a hottie, then I really care less what other people think.)

There ya go. OK I can only go off the photo's but you don't look like someone I would lable 'overweight'.... absolutely no argument with the lable 'hottie' though

*blushes and giggles* and quietly thanks Raven...

I am a big girl, but I am also 5'10", so my "chubby" has some room to travel.
I think my youngest said it best for a lot of us who get wrapped up in size and weight stuff when she said, "Mommy, you're so soft and squishy... I love you."
How can you not love THAT? (and my daughter is a "twiglet") LOL...

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(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:30:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
*blushes and giggles* and quietly thanks Raven...
I am a big girl, but I am also 5'10", so my "chubby" has some room to travel.
I think my youngest said it best for a lot of us who get wrapped up in size and weight stuff when she said, "Mommy, you're so soft and squishy... I love you."
How can you not love THAT? (and my daughter is a "twiglet") LOL...

I've had girls of all sizes and shapes. Whatever 'size' you are you obviously carry it well, plus I will admit that for some odd reason as I learn a girls personality it effects what I actualy physicaly see... the more attractive I find her as a person, the more attractive qualitys I see physicaly. I've been attracted to some physicaly stunning looking lassies that after a few minutes conversation with them and finding they where jumped up little tarts with as much personality as a diseased sewer rat I've wondered what drew me over in the first place. Also some lassies I've not really noticed till we got chatting I've wondered how I could possibly have been so blind not to notice her before!

In your case all I have to go on is the photo and hell yes you'd turn my head walking into the room sweetie. Whatever size you may think you are

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(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:35:07 AM

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[/quote]

...How can you really have an accurate count of the height/weight of all people into bdsm? This is a serious question...

Akasha

[/quote]

every time one of these threads comes along that supposes there is a preponderance of "overweight" among those into WIITWD and someone answers definitively yes there are or no there aren't, this slave has always wondered the same thing that Akasha presents here...how could anyone REALLY know? did someone undertake a massive poll and this slave missed it?

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:36:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
When we met, you talked about why you hated these threads. I do think the OP has a legitmate "newbie-ish" question, and it was the first one I thought about when I joined CM too. I got reamed for posting about it back then, as well.

I hate them because they never go anywhere productive- it always turns into a "Fat women unite!" and "Love people for their inside" kumbaya/bash anyone who dares mention that fat isn't positive fest.

Making observations about fat people is a sensitive area for sure. But there's no reason it should turn into the defensive backlash that it always seems to. Yes, fat people rock like anyone else. Yes, lots of people love lots of fat people. No arguments there.

I'm a fat chick. I'm REALLY looking forward to moving into a place with a great gym and 8 pools and two men who have been ordered to keep me in line on my diet and exercise and want to lose weight, for my health, my self esteem and so I can fit back into all my awesome size 14 clothes that I don't fit into right now because I've gained weight over the last year.

I understand the good and the bad bout being fat. I can discuss the issues about fatness and my own observations about fat people without turning it into a personal emotional defensive posture. Most people don't seem to be able to do that.

quote:

All that said, I think you've given a great response here. You acknowledge the facts, you inject a little humor into a sensitive topic area, and you give a reasonable and maybe correct explanation for the phenomenom.

Glad you got something out of it.

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(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:36:14 AM

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::shakes her head::

Man Iv only been posting a little over a month and this has to be at least the 6th thread about a guy whineing about why there are so many over waight people in BDSM.. Honestly BDSM doesnt have any more overwaight people in it then any other group... it has a proportionate number based on how many their are in the world in all.... and since there are a lot of overwaight people in the world theses days they will be represented in a higher number in all groups not just BDSM... you cant expect that 70% of the world population to be overwaight and then only find 10% of the BDSM world to be overwaight.... if 70% of the world is overwaight then you will find that 70% of BDSM is going to be such...

-da enigma-

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(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:42:47 AM

Noah

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Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

*blushes and giggles* and quietly thanks Raven...
I am a big girl, but I am also 5'10", so my "chubby" has some room to travel.
I think my youngest said it best for a lot of us who get wrapped up in size and weight stuff when she said, "Mommy, you're so soft and squishy... I love you."
How can you not love THAT? (and my daughter is a "twiglet") LOL...

You can't not love that. Thanks for sharing it.

Really though, mustn't the reason for all the well upholstered women in the neighborhood be the preponderance of good taste and open-mindedness among the men around here?

I think it was the philosopher R.L. Burnside who said:

Why a man don't want no skinny womens is 'cause
meat don't shake.
Now
shake it one time fo' me!

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:44:50 AM

soothingdesires

Posts: 38
Joined: 6/10/2006
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My saying that I think a higher percentage of fat people are in the scene versus vanilla life has nothing to do with the fact that none of us are perfect. I wonder why people take so much value judgement into saying "I make an observation of pure percentages."

okay my apologies i am new to the forums and i do not know how to make those pretty organized boxes for parts of other peoples post.

i would like to ask for clarification on what you meant by stating you believe there are more fat people in bdsm than vanilla. As well as pure percentage in your eyes. Out of curiousity, is this in your local scene? Or have you travelled all over the world to many different locations to numerous scenes and seen this with your own eyes? Is the latter how you came up with your pure percentage of the ratio between over weight people versus average weighted people in the lifestyle? Just curious how these statistics actually came about.

Thank you ,
soothing

(in reply to GddssBella)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:45:29 AM

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
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Very nicely said :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah
Really though, mustn't the reason for all the well upholstered women in the neighborhood be the preponderance of good taste and open-mindedness among the men around here?

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(in reply to Noah)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:46:58 AM

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From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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I quite agree with you, Raven, that attraction can be manipulated by more than the outward appearance. I, too, have been with guys who were physically attractive and were mental duds (I like your sewer rat analogy, lol), and they rarely kept my interest. I have also been with men who may not have been chosen for the Sexiest Man Alive cover of People magazine, but who have managed to trap me with their conversation, their intellect, their sense of humor, etc. and I have seen their inner beauty and sexiness swell to the surface like floodwaters, that have certainly washed me away... that's a wave I'll ride any day...

(ps ~ you flatter me, Raven... I'm sure I would do a double take with you as well)

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Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

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(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:48:20 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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personally, i prefer someone with some squishy on them rather than a stick or bag o'bones... not majorly obese but something to hug well

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:49:33 AM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

i would like to ask for clarification on what you meant by stating you believe there are more fat people in bdsm than vanilla. As well as pure percentage in your eyes.

I would refer you to my reply in Post #67 for that.

quote:

Out of curiousity, is this in your local scene? Or have you travelled all over the world to many different locations to numerous scenes and seen this with your own eyes? Is the latter how you came up with your pure percentage of the ratio between over weight people versus average weighted people in the lifestyle? Just curious how these statistics actually came about.

Thank you ,
soothing

To give a quick CV- this includes 8 years of actively attending events, conventions, retreats, classes, being an active leader and volunteer in my local community and in just about every state in the east coast, Ireland, and a few other states in the broader US.

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(in reply to soothingdesires)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:51:39 AM

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Or Christian women.

Why is it okay to poke fun at nobody except at Muslims? Tolerance, darling, tolerance. Thank you so much!

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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:55:01 AM

FelinePersuasion

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Why does someone at least once a month on the dot post pointless questions like this?

quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes

Why does bdsm appear to attract far more than its' fair share of overweight women?

(in reply to sixstrokes)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 8:56:30 AM

soothingdesires

Posts: 38
Joined: 6/10/2006
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Thank you for the clarification.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:04:07 AM

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From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

*blushes and giggles* and quietly thanks Raven...
I am a big girl, but I am also 5'10", so my "chubby" has some room to travel.
I think my youngest said it best for a lot of us who get wrapped up in size and weight stuff when she said, "Mommy, you're so soft and squishy... I love you."
How can you not love THAT? (and my daughter is a "twiglet") LOL...

You can't not love that. Thanks for sharing it.

Really though, mustn't the reason for all the well upholstered women in the neighborhood be the preponderance of good taste and open-mindedness among the men around here?

I think it was the philosopher R.L. Burnside who said:

Why a man don't want no skinny womens is 'cause
meat don't shake.
Now
shake it one time fo' me!

You're welcome, Noah. Out of the mouths of babes, you know? LOL
Daddy was the first man I was with after having kids and all, who said, I am attracted to a gal with a larger frame, and just put it out there. Before kids, I was a lot smaller. When He sees those pictures of me, He jokes and says, "If I saw you back then, I wouldn't have noticed you like I did three years ago. My poor baby would be Daddy-less if she weren't so curvy now..." Of course, He is joking with me, but He has a strong attraction for bigger girls. A little "junk in the trunk" never escapes His line of vision, I don't think! (LOL) That's ok because a woman with some voluptuous curves can be really sexy...

edited to add:
I also think that big handsome men are hot. Daddy is a big guy, 6'2", huge arms, barrel chested, used to play college football, *swoons*... He just flips my pancakes...

< Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 6/27/2006 9:30:04 AM >

_____________________________

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Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

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(in reply to Noah)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:07:01 AM

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Sixstrokes' question didn't show his/her idiocy. It was a very ignorant question; and showed his/her ignorance. I was not offended; not as a woman, nor as a BBW. It was an honest statement, and whether it's true or not, i don't know.

As far as self-esteen issues: i used to have them. Until i met my current dominant who told me i needed to get over my insecurities because he found me attractive, and that's all that mattered. Since then, i have become more confident, though it's really shaky. Does it mean that i have to leave the lifestyle just because i have confidence now? I hope not. That would kind of suck.

This is the bottom line: if you don't like looking at a BBW, then don't.

(in reply to soothingdesires)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:18:35 AM

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Joined: 8/1/2004
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OH and can I add... why are these threads always directed at the overwaight women... has no one noticed there are just as many overwaight men around???

< Message edited by enigmabrat -- 6/27/2006 9:19:18 AM >

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