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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: Domnotlooking
To Lady Pact, re. opinions of infidelity on the long running Sexless Marriage board:

We're all for it. Marriage means sex and a marriage without sex is a voided agreement (that "honor" thing -note quotation marks).

Partners do not get to breezily rewrite the basic marital agreement going back to the stone age just because we said some mumbo jumbo in church and then slowly kill their partner's soul just because.

Would it be better (or to quote a fave poster, "better") to seamlessly and perfectly tie up some completely muddled mess in a neat bow before moving on in a responsible, Dr Phil manner to a clean break future?

Sure. But sometime life's a bitch and people are imperfect.

Wow. Just wow.

I guess it completely depends on what you consider "better" and just what you feel *does* kill your soul. Lack of sex wouldn't do that for Me but there are other things that would. There are a lot of people on the face of the earth that don't care what it does to the other party as long as you're getting yours. I couldn't handle My conscious or My character being dictated by My genitals.

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My own story:

I was trapped in a sexless marriage and met someone on a hobby board who was likewise. We hadn't been laid half a dozen times in a decade between us.

We hit it off. Our marriages were all but dead and we had one foot out the door. To quote my now wife: "What did being honorable (or "honorable") ever get me? Fuck it, let's get laid before the dirt nap".

Today, we have sex at least twice a week. We feel we were dug up from a cold grave and let to breath and live in the sun again. Sometimes, we weep with gratitude.

Downside: we suffer, I suppose, the huffy and fatuous disdain of people like Jeff.

It's OK -we can live with it.

And Jeff's on here 10 times a day imperiously wagging his finger at strangers and loving it.

So a win/win all around then.

Well, at least you found somebody who takes loyalty and commitment with the same level of importance as you do, so that's a good thing. I hope you both remain happy and healthy. If you don't, and one of you sustained an accident or illness that would leave you unable to perform sexually, at least you've got your prior experience behind you to know that you'd be willing to let the new spouse go and get their satisfaction elsewhere. "Cause what does that honor thing get a person anyway.

People are just different, I guess. This thread had Me thinking back to those times that MP was deployed and what the difficulties of that period of time brought up. Lack of sex was so low on the list that it barely registered. I must have come up with forty things that I remembered missing about just having him in the same house that were so much more important. If he'd have come back from those deployments unable to have sex, I'd still be married to him today because I fell in love with the whole man. Not just what he could do for Me in the bedroom.

Oh, and I'm glad you did turn out to just happen to be a new poster. It shows your not a dishonest person who just created the account just to answer the thread or lie about who you are. The latter would have implied that a person isn't quite as proud of their actions as you seem to be.

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Overwhelmingly tho, it's them not being into you, failing to send you the memo, and then years of gas lighting to maintain a toxic status quo for selfish reasons that's the scenario. Plenty of lying on both sides.

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ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
Lady P. I think one thing that separates your experience with celibacy during deployments with some of the folks here who have been celibate with a partner living in the house is that when Mr P came home from deployment and you sat on the bed, patted the place beside you and gave a come hither smile, the first sentence out of his mouth didn't contain the word "Disgusting" or "Gross".

The closest that I've come to that was him feeling nasty after having been on the plane for so long. (In other words, it's not like I was getting any the minute he came through the door.) I'll still give it to you though.

In a joking sense, I tell people all of the time that I'm a lousy military wife. I'm horrible with the lingo, don't have a clue about dependent services unless I've had personal experience with them, and nine times out of ten don't know what department I'm looking for when making a phone call. I don't jive with 'spouse support' activities at least 90% of the time and this subject is a primary reason for that. (MP literally tells people, "sure, you feel free to tell her she HAS to attend.") In My opinion, if you can't either a) deal with no sex during long deployments or b) have some kind of understanding between yourself and your military spouse, you really need to think twice before marrying somebody who is going to be gone for long periods of time. It's not like it's a big, huge shock that you're going to spend time during your marriage where there are a lot of things missing.

Somebody up there said something about long term married folks not understanding what it's like not having sex. If anything, I'm more inclined to believe they know about it more. Kids, death, periods of grief, physical ailments, side effects from medications........ All kinds of stuff. If I remember right, Hill, you've had the same rotator cuff surgery that MP's had three separate times. How much bouncing around do you think was going on through that period of time? That was Me more than him because I was scared of hurting him. (Very interesting discussions we had over that. )

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
Lady P. I think one thing that separates your experience with celibacy during deployments with some of the folks here who have been celibate with a partner living in the house is that when Mr P came home from deployment and you sat on the bed, patted the place beside you and gave a come hither smile, the first sentence out of his mouth didn't contain the word "Disgusting" or "Gross".

The closest that I've come to that was him feeling nasty after having been on the plane for so long. (In other words, it's not like I was getting any the minute he came through the door.) I'll still give it to you though.

In a joking sense, I tell people all of the time that I'm a lousy military wife. I'm horrible with the lingo, don't have a clue about dependent services unless I've had personal experience with them, and nine times out of ten don't know what department I'm looking for when making a phone call. I don't jive with 'spouse support' activities at least 90% of the time and this subject is a primary reason for that. (MP literally tells people, "sure, you feel free to tell her she HAS to attend.") In My opinion, if you can't either a) deal with no sex during long deployments or b) have some kind of understanding between yourself and your military spouse, you really need to think twice before marrying somebody who is going to be gone for long periods of time. It's not like it's a big, huge shock that you're going to spend time during your marriage where there are a lot of things missing.

Somebody up there said something about long term married folks not understanding what it's like not having sex. If anything, I'm more inclined to believe they know about it more. Kids, death, periods of grief, physical ailments, side effects from medications........ All kinds of stuff. If I remember right, Hill, you've had the same rotator cuff surgery that MP's had three separate times. How much bouncing around do you think was going on through that period of time? That was Me more than him because I was scared of hurting him. (Very interesting discussions we had over that. )

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ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I thought you LIKED hurting people

If I liked hurting people that way, I'd be a physical therapist.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I thought you LIKED hurting people

If I liked hurting people that way, I'd be a physical therapist.

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

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Overwhelmingly tho, it's them not being into you, failing to send you the memo, and then years of gas lighting to maintain a toxic status quo for selfish reasons that's the scenario. Plenty of lying on both sides.

In an attempt to save my marriage, we had date nights and I signed us up for marriage counseling, massage workshops, couples workshops, etc, etc. In all the cases of married coworkers who complained about their lack of sex, they did nothing to maintain the relationship. I'm curious about what you and your new wife did with your previous spouses to try to make the marriage better.

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ORIGINAL: cloudboy

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ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

I disagree cloudboy. On both of the threads you mentioned - small penis and diaper - the negative postings were because the posters seemed to think that the rest of us were here to enable their "fun".

When serious questions are asked, I don't see dogpiles, I see serious answers. And I don't consider "tell me how small and horrible my penis is" a serious question.

First of all, the rough treatment those two OPs faced fits a longstanding pattern. Next, the small penis question was not wank fodder, it was a self description and good questions asked. Hating the kink resulted in hating the op. it was just disguised as hating "wank fodder."

How else can you explain such poor reading comprehension?

------

This may seem like a strange question, but having recently chatted to a couple of other weak males with small penis's, I wonder if there is a link between cock size, confidence, success, and power.

I have a very small penis, and I need people to laugh at it, and hurt it (including men with normal sized penis's). I wonder if men with real cocks are more succesful because of the confidence and success with women they have.

This is just curiousity, because as a wimp with a 1 inch willie, I know I will never be more than a toilet and slavepig for my superiors.

-----------

Simply Michael was the only decent responder on the diaper thread.

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ORIGINAL: Domnotlooking
We found love and healing and we re-built our lives. Just not in the exact order that many people here would approve of.

In closing (for real now) I extend my love and solidarity with the OP -even if he so-called doesn't deserve it. He deserves to have some juicy sex before the grave. I hope he gets it.

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ORIGINAL: Domnotlooking



Marriage means sex and a marriage without sex is a voided agreement (that "honor" thing -note quotation marks).

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ORIGINAL: metamorfosis


I think there's been self righteous finger pointing on both sides of the issue. More from those on the side of honesty/fidelity than from those on the side of compassion, but it was there on both sides. .

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci
Get a grip and get a lay and you (the general you, of course) might have a different perspective

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci
And there is no honor in being a self-righteous, holier-than-thou judge of your fellow man either. None.

luci

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
MP literally tells people, "sure, you feel free to tell her she HAS to attend."

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BUBBLENUTS



Posts: 16187
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: online I think one of the problems is that you're supposed to attack the post, not the person.

I don't feel that rule has been followed very well on this thread.