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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 10/7/2013 7:19:12 PM

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They could submit to themselves.

I could be wrong (wouldn't be the 1st time), but bottoms are like part-timers, the ones I've talked to/known aren't all that selective who Tops them as long as it's a FWB deal, or they're with their friends in a semi-private/more public setting where they feel relatively safe and/or secure.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

I think a narcissist might be just as likely to be a bottom, but I dunno if they could truly submit? I'm probably just being overly semantical though.

They could become sub to someone they respect & admire, which can tie back to what Peon was saying. Might be similar with Tops, although they could consider themselves more of a Switch or choose to act in that capacity.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Does make me think of the stereotypical malesub who wants a Goddess who never has bad hair days and never needs to use the toilet.

Not some of these dudes I hear from insofar as the toilet or Golden Showers go, often mixed in with Ass Worship. They want a cold, hard, selfish, cruel Bitch who treats them like a sub-human. Hm-m, somewhat along the lines of a Narcissistic Cyborg. You might be onto something here. What would Inverted Narcissism be termed? Other than a few choice words I'll keep to myself. OP deserves a little credit for his lambastic efforts and for stirring the pot.

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 10/7/2013 7:53:03 PM

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Yeah, if they did submit, it would be a "my Master is the only person I'll ever submit to" situation.

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 10/7/2013 10:36:38 PM

NoBimbosAllowed

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"Drew a bow?"

in Brit based political jargon, "to draw a long bow" is a common phrase. It means, for the sake of a debate, you stretch your point too far for it to carry it's own weight or "tension" (like a bow string). Examples of drawing a long bow would be "Allowing google and kindle to team up and make decisions over which books are digitized with no over-sight committee that can be proven to have nothing to gain or lose by their rulings upon google will lead to not only the death of the paperbook, but a new form of censorship, where books are not chosen to be digitized, industry preferences are placed upon the digital books and therefore any books objectionable to anyone Google likes will go out of print."

That is drawing a long bow.

Unlike having empathy but having little or no pleasure in 'outclevering'.

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 10/7/2013 10:40:30 PM

NoBimbosAllowed

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No, to admire Tigresslily and Sher Khan and make this a real thread rather than a half-assed junket in cyberland attempting to lay the groundwork for selling ancillary publication product (OP),

'Spice' is always cited as a desired element of any non Nilla relationship, ad even Nillas pay lip service to spice.

Does not a palpable amount of "I dare you to conquer me" in the Sub ADD that spice?

doesn't that make the souffle of spankorama SO much more savoury and sweet?

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 10/8/2013 12:09:53 AM

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Certainly, someone with NPD who actually submits would be the most worshipful of slaves. They already think of themselves as godly, so anyone they're slave to must be a god to them.

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 10/8/2013 12:38:55 AM

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Of course, that's how cults get started.

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 10/8/2013 10:11:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

Certainly, someone with NPD who actually submits would be the most worshipful of slaves. They already think of themselves as godly, so anyone they're slave to must be a god to them.

LOL, not the subbie wubbies in Haight Ashbury SF!

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 10/8/2013 11:13:36 PM

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Do you know about any part of the country other than the SF bay area?

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 10/8/2013 11:44:14 PM

NoBimbosAllowed

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What, apart from Santa Cruz and Oakland?

and LA versus NY which I also posted on?

oh, and let's not forget areas of New Mexico...?

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 10/9/2013 10:49:47 PM

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Oh, and some areas of Connecticut.

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 12/15/2013 6:49:35 PM

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You are going to catch a lot of flack for declaring that "submission is a gift".

That is not my complaint; my complaint is that you are presenting your opinion as fact and that is not the case: many partnered people here don't share your view.
It is not how a D/s relationship works for them and to come on here declaring otherwise is akin to saying your view is the one true way... and respectfully, it isn't.

I happen to agree that my submission to [my] Master is a gift.
But we see it a little differently: my submission is a gift to myself.

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 12/30/2013 3:23:12 PM

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Bit late to this thread....however as a person that works with folks who are chronically mentally ill, this cracks me up. Scared my cats, I laughed so hard!
Priceless...say it with flowers

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 12/30/2013 5:46:54 PM

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There's a difference between someone being narcissistic and actually having an official psychological disorder out of the DSM-IV....or is it V now? Anyway, I did some research into NPD a couple years ago. These are two paragraphs that struck the loudest chords: (I will post the link to the entire article at the end. Take it all or leave it, I'm just throwing it out here :) )

Now, it is possible to have a relatively smooth relationship with a narcissist, and it's possible to maintain it for a long time. The first requirement for this, though, is distance: this simply cannot be done with a narcissist you live with. Given distance, or only transient and intermittent contact, you can get along with narcissists by treating them as infants: you give them whatever they want or need whenever they ask and do not expect any reciprocation at all, do not expect them to show the slightest interest in you or your life (or even in why you're bothering with them at all), do not expect them to be able to do anything that you need or want, do not expect them to apologize or make amends or show any consideration for your feelings, do not expect them to take ordinary responsibility in any way. But note: they are not infants; infants develop and mature and require this kind of care for only a brief period, after which they are on the road to autonomy and looking after themselves, whereas narcissists never outgrow their demands for dedicated attention to their infantile needs 168 hours a week. Adult narcissists can be as demanding of your time and energy as little babies but without the gratification of their growing or learning anything from what they suck from you. Babies love you back, but adult narcissists are like vampires: they will take all you can give while giving nothing back, then curse you for running dry and discard you as a waste of their precious time.
It is also essential that you keep emotional distance from narcissists. They're pretty good at maintaining a conventional persona in superficial associations with people who mean absolutely nothing to them, and they'll flatter the hell out of you if you have something they can use or if, for some reason, they perceive you as an authority figure. That is, as long as they think you don't count or they're afraid of you, they'll treat you well enough that you may mistake it for love. But, as soon as you try to get close to them, they'll say that you are too demanding -- and, if you ever say "I love you," they'll presume that you belong to them as a possession or an appendage, and treat you very very badly right away. The abrupt change from decent treatment to outright abuse is very shocking and bewildering, and it's so contrary to normal experience that I was plenty old before I realized that it was actually my expression of affection that triggered the narcissists' nasty reactions. Once they know you are emotionally attached to them, they expect to be able to use you like an appliance and shove you around like a piece of furniture. If you object, then they'll say that obviously you don't really love them or else you'd let them do whatever they want with you. If you should be so uppity as to express a mind and heart of your own, then they will cut you off -- just like that, sometimes trashing you and all your friends on the way out the door. The narcissist will treat you just like a broken toy or tool or an unruly body part: "If thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off" [Matt. 18:8]. This means you.

Here's the link to the whole article. http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/howto.html

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 1/2/2014 9:11:56 PM

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There are a lot of people who consider these far-flung Narcissists as "monsters" especially if it is a family member. But just because a person is difficult to get along with, or even abusive on different levels, doesn't mean they don't have a good side to them. I know plenty of people who are narcissistic but if you are ever in need, they are there for you. I know one guy who is loud and obnoxious, and the conversation is always about him, but if you ever go out with him as friends he will always treat. If you need to borrow money, he will loan it to you.

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 1/3/2014 4:08:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LA90002

There are a lot of people who consider these far-flung Narcissists as "monsters" especially if it is a family member. But just because a person is difficult to get along with, or even abusive on different levels, doesn't mean they don't have a good side to them.

It also doesn't mean they are narcissistic!

quote:

I know plenty of people who are narcissistic

By that you mean professionally diagnosed narcissists that have met the criteria of the DSM?

quote:

but if you are ever in need, they are there for you. I know one guy who is loud and obnoxious, and the conversation is always about him, but if you ever go out with him as friends he will always treat. If you need to borrow money, he will loan it to you.

Don't sound like narcissists to me, though don't get me wrong, narcissistic people can be the most charming of people, if you have something they need!

The problem with the word 'Narcissism' is, its banded around like its a badge of honour. Its like saying, 'I'm a cool guy. A bit mean, a bit harsh and I don't take shit from anyone'. These people aren't the narcissists as they so often claim to be, they are just ignorant fools.

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 1/3/2014 4:12:03 AM

Rule

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 1/3/2014 4:31:20 AM

Rule

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
Narcissism and empathy are polar opposites.

I suspect that you are confusing psychopathy with narcissism.

Admittedly, psychological nomenclature and definitions are a mess.

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 1/3/2014 4:54:20 AM

Rule

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
I am not in a position to conclude whether they meet 5 of 9 criteria specified under DSM-IV TR 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and

I know that I am a supergenius. (A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior))
I desire Nobel prizes for recognition. (need for admiration)
I am blunt. (lack of empathy)

However, I am not a narcissist.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

I do indeed have "a grandiose sense of self-importance". However, I do not exaggerate my achievements and talents.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Yep, that is me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

Yep, I am special and unique. Nobody can understand me: it takes a supergenius to recognize a supergenius.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
(4) requires excessive admiration

Nope. I am not a narcissist.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

Nope. I could live in a barrel. I would appreciate it, though, for other people to do my laundry and to clean my living area, and my administration, in short everything that needs doing, including driving me if possible. That is not an unreasonable expectation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

Nope, that is not me. Usually I am the one who is being taken advantage off.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

That is me. But I am not a narcissist.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

Nope, that is not me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

I do not think that I show such behaviors or attitudes.

I think that whomever dreamed up those criteria, did not know what he was talking about.

< Message edited by Rule -- 1/3/2014 4:58:08 AM >

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 1/3/2014 8:28:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LA90002

There are a lot of people who consider these far-flung Narcissists as "monsters" especially if it is a family member. But just because a person is difficult to get along with, or even abusive on different levels, doesn't mean they don't have a good side to them. I know plenty of people who are narcissistic but if you are ever in need, they are there for you. I know one guy who is loud and obnoxious, and the conversation is always about him, but if you ever go out with him as friends he will always treat. If you need to borrow money, he will loan it to you.

Dude, that's not a narcissist. A narcissist is characterized by unwarranted feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy.

I have first hand knowledge of this because my daughter was diagnosed with this and believe me, empathy is not her strong point and yup, she thinks she's better than everyone else and feels she should be admired for no reason whatsoever. She's not as bad as she used to be but I can tell it's still there when I talk to her.

That does not sound like your friend at all.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/3/2014 8:30:02 PM >

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RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 1/5/2014 6:02:27 AM

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quote:

Now, it is possible to have a relatively smooth relationship with a narcissist, and it's possible to maintain it for a long time. The first requirement for this, though, is distance: this simply cannot be done with a narcissist you live with. Given distance, or only transient and intermittent contact, you can get along with narcissists by treating them as infants: you give them whatever they want or need whenever they ask and do not expect any reciprocation at all, do not expect them to show the slightest interest in you or your life (or even in why you're bothering with them at all), do not expect them to be able to do anything that you need or want, do not expect them to apologize or make amends or show any consideration for your feelings, do not expect them to take ordinary responsibility in any way.

Yup, my ex and I got along great when we were in a long distance M/s relationship!

More from your link:

http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/howto.html

...To my knowledge, none of the narcissistic individuals I've known personally have had official diagnoses of Narcissistic Personality Disorder; they have not sought help and so haven't been assessed clinically.

...Nearly everyone has some narcissistic traits. It's possible to be arrogant, selfish, conceited, or out of touch without being a narcissist. The practical test, so far as I know, is that with normal people, no matter how difficult, you can get some improvements, at least temporarily, by saying, essentially, "Please have a heart." This doesn't work with narcissists; in fact, it usually makes things worse. [See discussion of the relationship between normal personality traits and personality disorders.]

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