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ChatteParfaitt -> RE: what traits do you think are annoying in submissives? (1/25/2014 9:38:55 AM)
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Wonderful question TICN and may I welcome you to the discussion side of CM. It seems we are practically neighbors.
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ORIGINAL: SweetAnise
I think one thing that has always bothered me are submissives who believe that they are not suppose to be protective of themselves when it comes to choosing a partner. That they cannot think on their own. That for some reason choices go out the door. So they jump in head first into any so called dominant relationship and end up hurt and damaged. Instead of realizing that a D/s relationship is very similar to a normal vanilla relationship and that they should have expectations, desires, and dealbreakers when it comes to choosing their partner(s).
My other concern are submissives who use the lifestyle to deal with their emotional and mental health issues including traumas. Not realizing that therapy is probably they best plan of action.
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ORIGINAL: MsLadySue
For me it's the subs who think this lifestyle is all about them. What I will do to them; how they will spend hours worshipping my pussy; kinky sex, etc.
The problem is they've come to these conclusions from watching BDSM porn. They think we all wear leather spike-heeled boots; dress in skimpy fetish wear; and are essentially a fetish delivery system for them.
These people don't realize that the lifestyle is not about sex at all for some of us; that play is only a small part of the D/s relationship.
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ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
There are a ton of submissives that I've known that use submission as a crutch to shirk personal responsibility.
I think it relates to what the person above me said where a lady will allow others to run rough-shod over them and then, "explain" it away with: "I can't say anything to them. I'm a submissive".
I can deal with that and some people are just naturally spineless and need to "blame" it on something else. Where I can't abide it is when it comes to raising children.
I have seen far too many ladies (I don't have intimate relationships with men so this is not to be gender accusatory) who do not parent their children and then de-cry that they're submissive and they can do no better. That's crap.
And this:
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ORIGINAL: LittleGirlHeart
Those who have a tendencies to act like there is some kind of hive mind, and all subs are of one nature. Or to call all other subs sissy, or bro, like they're automatically one family, and 2 other subs want that level of familiarity by way of being a sub.
Assumptions that as a sub all subs must be........And have/ do........ simply by virtue of being a sub.
Far too many use relationships in place of therapy, or are so caught up in their own fantasies they can't relate to others as human beings. On another group I'm in I said something along the lines of 'you don't *really* need a dom' -- and had someone come back with: 'but what if you do *need* one?'
Seriously, you won't die if your sexual needs are not immediately met, and if you feel you *have* to have someone in your life or you'll die, you need a therapist, not a dom. Someone who can't stand up on their own two feet and be all right on their own I don't need.
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