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RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 2:09:29 PM

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

The reason why OP didn't post on the Gorean forum is because she knew she would be berated for daring to not blindly follow the party line, ergo It's the Master's Right--correction, Spurious Whim.

That is absolutely bullshit. She would have gotten much the same advice as she's gotten here. In fact, several people who also post on the Gorean forum have posted here as well, care to point out where she was berated for not blindly following the party line?

Back up the claim or retract it.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 2/26/2014 2:11:40 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to FieryOpal)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 2:14:05 PM

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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My late dom was an ex-gor type, and we had rules and regulations, and all his rules and reg.s were open for discussion. Not necessarily open for change, but definitely open for discussion. There was an issue, we talked about it, and he gave me his decision. At that stage, I had the option of further discussion or accepting his decree.

I would have to wonder what the Master Husband is afraid of, because he obviously gets angry, which is a cover for fear. There is something in the imposing of the slave positions that means more to him than just a naked woman positioning herself.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 2:45:47 PM

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

According to one of her blog posts (listed in her sig line), they were expecting a baby. I couldn't find a date to the post, so I don't know if she is pregnant still or they have a baby.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 3:48:06 PM

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

I'll answer you as an ex-Gorean slave girl, on the rituals my former Master practiced with me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: leashedlaura

How often do you put your slave in a slave position?

Rarely

quote:

ORIGINAL: leashedlaura
And is it done for any other reasons other than training and for "Master's amusement".

Yes, in fact, it was done almost exclusively for training purposes, and not for his amusement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: leashedlaura

Does slave positions excite you every time, why? if you watched your slave take up positions each morning naked in the kitchen, How long before your excitement wanes away? Would you put your slave into position just out of habit that You have subconsciously developed?

Not relevant to my former Master, but I will say that IF a man gets sexually excited by an act it's very unlikely that it will stop for him at some point. Sexual triggers tend to be what they are, and just like most vanilla men will not become desensitized to seeing -insert their favorite fetishized female body part- I don't believe your Master will become desensitized to, or bored of, the sexual pleasure of putting you through the positions.
The only exception to this seems to be if a man is completely emerged in a sexual stimulant in a (for him) non-sexual context for prolonged periods of time (camera men working in the porn industry come to mind for instance) but that's not going to happen with your Master with something as short and structured as a morning ritual.

quote:

ORIGINAL: leashedlaura

This slave understands that it's none of her business as a slave to try to change her Master's position training frequency or his reasons. But this slave is very tired of the routine every morning, It's been going on for years now.

You're right, it is none of your business. In fact, you know it's none of your business. You knew it was none of your business when you asked about changing it the first time. On top of that, your Master, through punishment, has made it very clear more than once that it is none of your business.

And yet... you press on...

I want you to think about that, and consider it deeply; because what's happened is that you're in a situation where you know that what you're doing isn't in line with your slavery. You know that what you're doing isn't compatible with the role and statue you've chosen in life. You know that what you're doing is linearly opposed to your role as a slave.

I'm not saying this to shame you, in fact, I don't believe that you're doing anything at all wrong, but I'm trying to very forcefully point out that what you are doing is choosing not to be a slave as you've defined the concept of what a slave is.

You're doing this in more ways than one, considering that this statement:

quote:

ORIGINAL: leashedlaura

she wishes that the mornings could be used for some romantic talks, discussion, just talking, watching the news, kindling romance etc..

Is not slave-as-you've-defined-the-concept behavior either.
It's wife-like and/or FC-like behavior that you're clearly seeking.

I would say that you're currently at a point where you've got a very important decision to make: you have to either again choose the life and slavery you've chosen before, and have to again accept that this means that you'll be subjected to commands that you don't care for. You know very well that in the type of slavery you're in, that's just the way it is, and it's the way it ought to be.
Your Master will not alter his position on this topic, nor -if you wish to remain a chattel slave- should he have to.

On the other hand, you've clearly come to a point where you want different things in life than you did when you chose this life. The old routines no longer turn you on, and now that you're faced with the drudgery of actual slavery, it's suddenly not as much fun anymore. I want to stress that there is nothing wrong with that in theory, as long as you're honest about this to yourself and your Master and recognize that your current feelings are completely incompatible with your position of chattel slavery.

You cannot both have the compassion and consideration due to a wife and at the same be the type of chattel slave which has no business bringing up grievances.

If you wish to remain the type of slave who has no business bringing up grievances, you need to drop this. You need to stop complaining, stop even wishing for change, fall in line, and obey. Beg your Master for firmer direction and punishment if you're finding yourself having a hard time putting his pleasure once again before your own. Beg him to guide you into being less self-absorbed and less concerned for your own happiness and welfare. Beg him to be ruthless with your current mental insubordination of daring to desire him to change. Show him this thread, beg for forgiveness for complaining about him in such a public venue, and beg to be punished for such a brazenly displeasing act.

If on the other hand, you've decides that you do not wish to comply with your Master's desire to do this morning ritual, and you're adement you want change, no matter the cost, you're going to have to realize that this desire is incompatible with you remaining a mere chattel slave, because what you're doing is posing that you're will, your desires, and your pleasures, are -at least in certain circumstances- more important than you're Master's. You're also going to have to realize that while it's human for you to feel this way, and normal for you to hit a point where you insist on begin considered, it is not in line with Gorean chattel slavery. You cannot have both.

Jeff is right that you either need to choose to remain a slave, divorce, or mutually decide you both want a different relationship together. The one thing you cannot do is keep your current relationship as is, while changing this one small aspect of it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: leashedlaura

she is not allowed to pee in the morning until Master's whistle

I want to echo everybody else who has already mentioned that being forced to hold your pee for the time periods you're describing (30+ min) can have serious negative health consequences, some of which long term (think incontinence as you get older for instance) especially if you're also limiting your fluid intake at night to prevent morning discomfort.

You may have thought you had OP's best interests at heart, but your tone came across to me as quite condescending. There are a couple other non-supportive posters, so don't feel singled out.

There is no pissing contest, but why so defensive, as an ex-Gor slavegirl?

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 4:13:56 PM

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

You may have thought you had OP's best interests at heart, but your tone came across to me as quite condescending. There are a couple other non-supportive posters, so don't feel singled out.

There is no pissing contest, but why so defensive, as an ex-Gor slavegirl?

What does my tone have to do with anything?

Show me where I 'berated her for not blindly follow the party line'.

What I did was lay out the choices she has, and the consequences those choices carry, instead of blankly assuming -like most other posters- that her relationship is necessarily abusive and she has no ability to consent to it. I did so in a harsh forceful tone, because I felt it necessary to confront her with the obvious cognitive inconsistency she is subjecting herself to, probably subconsciously.

Either way, there very clearly is a pissing contest, considering you matter of fact-ly stated that she would receive advice on the Gorean board telling her that she needs to blindly do stuff without thinking about the consequences. That, my dear, is a blatant lie, as anybody -Gorean or not- who frequently posts there will tell you. If there is anything the Gorean board on this site, and its regular posters, does consistently it is to tell people to think about the consequences of their actions. If fact, that very point is hammered on so much there that the dead horse is minced by now. As such, your insinuation that she would be there advised to blindly to anything is nothing but nefariously intended gossip, as you clearly don't deem it necessary to consider factual information in the slightest when making libelous claims about an entire group of people.

If there is no pissing contest, then why do you feel the need to spread blatant lies about a board you don't post at?
And if there is no pissing contest, then why do you feel the need to bring up the fact that I used to be a kajira -a fact well known by all regular long time posters on this board I may add- as if it's something I need to be shameful about? I am no longer a kajira by virtue of the fact that I am no longer owned by a Gorean man, a fact relevant for me to add to my original post, but in no way relevant to my response to you, which makes me curious why you felt the need to bring it up the way you did...

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 2/26/2014 4:14:39 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to FieryOpal)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 4:52:12 PM

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Either way, there very clearly is a pissing contest, considering you matter of fact-ly stated that she would receive advice on the Gorean board telling her that she needs to blindly do stuff without thinking about the consequences. That, my dear, is a blatant lie, as anybody -Gorean or not- who frequently posts there will tell you. If there is anything the Gorean board on this site, and its regular posters, does consistently it is to tell people to think about the consequences of their actions. If fact, that very point is hammered on so much there that the dead horse is minced by now. As such, your insinuation that she would be there advised to blindly to anything is nothing but nefariously intended gossip, as you clearly don't deem it necessary to consider factual information in the slightest when making libelous claims about an entire group of people.

If there is no pissing contest, then why do you feel the need to spread blatant lies about a board you don't post at?
And if there is no pissing contest, then why do you feel the need to bring up the fact that I used to be a kajira -a fact well known by all regular long time posters on this board I may add- as if it's something I need to be shameful about? I am no longer a kajira by virtue of the fact that I am no longer owned by a Gorean man, a fact relevant for me to add to my original post, but in no way relevant to my response to you, which makes me curious why you felt the need to bring it up the way you did...

FYI, you referred to yourself as an "ex-Gorean slave girl," and it's entirely your business how that came about, and I see nothing shameful in it. Why would I? But as such, you were advising OP on what she should accept given her position, or words to that affect, which gave the distinct impression that once consent has been given, there is no room for negotiation ever again, other than to bail.

And that may very well be the case. Certainly your insight was more valuable to her than those of us who are not or who have never been a part of Gorean culture.

Don't get me wrong, but your concept of how slavery is or should be practiced is different than mine. I don't expect you to adopt my PoV, nor I yours.

Btw, I read through a very long thread started by Greta75 ( http://www.collarchat.com/m_4550943/tm.htm ) and found it extremely informative, and not all Goreans were in agreement with one another either, and there were many camps. I'm not saying OP shouldn't have posed her concerns on that board. In fact I wondered why she chose not to, other than the possibility that she thought she would get greater objectivity in responses from a non-Gorean board. Without her here to answer, this is purely speculation, I will concede. There is also the possibility she didn't want it to get back to her husband-Master that she was seeking outside advice.

My main concern at this point is whether OP has gotten scared off somehow. I know this happens, regardless of the circumstances, and through no fault of anybody's in particular.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 5:14:23 PM

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
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I feel she was looking for more why rather than should she stay or should she go. Is she no longer wanting to be a slave or not is not a why answer. Truthfully, there are some doms who want things that I just don't understand why either. I don't understand the gorean world well but what I can tell it is very regimented.

It is human nature to want to know the answer why more than any other question. And I do not see wanting affection and communication as complaining or wanting to change their slave status. If a slave asks why and only recieves "because it pleases me" is not communicating. Slaving/subbing can be some hard work. Just getting the communication brings the attention to the slave that maybe the slave deperately needs.

And I feel things need to be changed up sometimes. It's like having the same breakfast cereal for years and years. It would be nice to try something different.

< Message edited by anniezz338 -- 2/26/2014 5:15:25 PM >

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 5:23:11 PM

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

FYI, you referred to yourself as an "ex-Gorean slave girl," and it's entirely your business how that came about, and I see nothing shameful in it. Why would I?

Why then imply that it was by stating: 'There is no pissing contest, but why so defensive, as an ex-Gor slavegirl?'

Presuming I am defensive, exactly what does my previous relationship have to do with that? Why feel the need to bring it up at all, if not as another personal attack? (Especially considering you've already shown you have no qualm about addressing personal attacks to my person.)

How as I asked you in my last post, please explain to me how there is no pissing context when you deliberately spread blatant lies about me and other posters on this board? (By stating that we would have told her to blindly follow party lines, when the exact opposite would happen, and has happened.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

which gave the distinct impression that once consent has been given, there is no room for negotiation ever again, other than to bail.

Please explain to me how I gave the impression that there is no room for negotiation when what I literally stated was: 'you either need to choose to remain a slave, divorce, or mutually decide you both want a different relationship together. The one thing you cannot do is keep your current relationship as is, while changing this one small aspect of it.'

What I told her was impossible was for her to remain a chattel slave who does not have the right to bring up grievances (which is how she currently defines her slavery) while at the same time expecting her Master to allow her to bring up her grievances in this one area.
Sorry, but I stand by that statement, the two are inconsistent. She cannot have both.

However, please explain how exactly that implies that there is no room for her to renegotiate the terms of her relationship, when I've literally stated that as one of her options, as well as -several times- affirming that it's normal for her to get to a point where she wants to renegotiate, and that that's not something she should either feel ashamed about, or try to suppress.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

In fact I wondered why she chose not to, other than the possibility that she thought she would get greater objectivity in responses from a non-Gorean board. Without her here to answer, this is purely speculation, I will concede. There is also the possibility she didn't want it to get back to her husband-Master that she was seeking outside advice.

Now you're backpedaling, considering that your original statement didn't at all speculate or expressed wonder about why the OP didn't post this in another forum. Besides, you're missing the point, I don't have a problem with you speculating about why the OP did anything. I have a problem with you personally stating, as if it is a verified fact, that you know that the posters on the Gorean board would have told her 'to blindly follow party dogma'.

The reason I have a problem with you stating that this is what would happen is that:
A) it's a blatant lie, and easily disproven by anybody who has actually spend time reading/posting there
B) the fact that it's so easily disproven by spending time reading/posting there proofs that you made the statement without considering it necessary to actually educate yourself about the type of advice the posters on this Gorean board would actually give. You thus have no problem actively debasing other people's character without the slightest shred of evidence or concern about their actual position. Apparently you consider it fair game to blatantly misrepresent and ridicule an entire group's position, character and morals, merely because those people happen to identify by a label you don't approve of and/or don't understand. That, my dear, is discrimination.
C) you made this claim about me personally, by directing it at the group I belong to, and as such have made a personal attack to my character. I don't take kindly to other people deliberately spreading lies about me and portrays me as somebody who preaches the exact opposite values I actually stand for.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 2/26/2014 5:41:01 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to FieryOpal)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 5:48:49 PM

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

[1.] Why then imply that it was by stating: 'There is no pissing contest, but why so defensive, as an ex-Gor slavegirl?'

[2.] ... Why feel the need to bring it up at all, if not as another personal attack?
<snip?
[3.] Now you're backpedaling, considering that your original statement didn't at all speculate or expressed wonder about why the OP didn't post this in another forum. Besides, you're missing the point, I don't have a problem with you speculating about why the OP did anything. I have a problem with you personally stating, as if it is a verified fact, that you know that the posters on the Gorean board would have told her 'to blindly follow party dogma'.

[Brackets mine]
1. No implication other than I didn't want to start getting into a pissing contest, and I had ruffled your feathers, so to speak. In other words, you were taking my post personally.

2. No personal attack. I don't know you from Adam or Eve. You took it upon yourself to view this as a personal attack. I was stating my opinion of what might have rained down upon her as a "chattel slave" who is supposed to know her place. If you think I am spreading lies, then you are mistaken.

3. Not backpedaling, merely explaining myself further, which you have also done. Which I do appreciate. If, as it appeared to me as though OP was/is seeking a remedy on trying to reach her husband-Master and on whether he has been acting reasonably - not the dissolution of her marriage - then I don't see that she has typical M/s options with a Master who refuses to communicate with her or to permit her to have a voice. Again, my concern is more for her welfare than anything else on this thread.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 6:16:03 PM

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

I was stating my opinion of what might have rained down upon her as a "chattel slave" who is supposed to know her place.

Oh, it must be my poor command of English as a third language then that's causing the confusion. I wasn't aware that if you state 'something would' happen it is linguistically identical to stating 'something might' happen. Or that when stating something will happen, one is suggesting that the statement is merely a personal opinion.

Obviously my apologies for the assumed inference, it's clear now that you were only trying to pass off your statements as containing factual information if they would be left unchallenged...

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

No personal attack. I don't know you from Adam or Eve. You took it upon yourself to view this as a personal attack.

Just for clarity's sake...

Are you arguing that if I state: 'All Female Dominants from Smithsburg, Maryland [groups you belong to] would berate people for being homosexual [debasing character trait]' you would not at all see that as a personal insult directed at you as an individual member of said group?

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 2/26/2014 6:18:32 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to FieryOpal)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 7:14:24 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Op, you have choices here....stay and do what you agreed to do from the beginning and live with it, or leave and move on. I don't particularly see anything abusive about the situation. From what I grasp it's always been like this and you obviously accepted it. Were you expecting things to somehow change after awhile?

It's kinda like people who get married to someone that has habits they can't stand, thinking the person will change for/because of them. Sorry, life doesn't work that way.

So either do as he says as you agreed to in your relationship or find someone that is more in line with what you seek.

So basically....what's most important to you?

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 7:25:05 PM

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Thank you everyone on collarchat for taking the time to discuss my situation, advicing me and suggesting various alternative options. This slave sincerely appreciates the time you all spent answering this slave's question and recommending ideas, suggestions and options for achieving them. Your advice was very helpful and gave this slave several new perspectives but honestly many of the answers were quite overwhelming and this slave is still trying to process them a little at a time.

and just to clarify for anyone who is skimming this string of posts..."Sometimes my Master Husband's 'no' sounds like 'no,' and sometimes it looks like 'no,' but sometimes, it looks and sounds like, 'I’m not ready to discuss.' Sometimes it looks like, G'ee, not tonight, but maybe next week,'" that's as far as this slave has been able to get to about the position training mundane routine. those are the mild "NOs" the harsh ones followed by action were already explained earlier and just to clarify there is no abuse in the relationship, whichever way you look at it. We met a long time ago with common interests, and it's been a wonderful journey for most parts.. this slave does not think there is abuse in her D/s relationship with her Master, or Master Husband is abusive in his training, it's just that Master Husband is set in his ways and wants certain things followed without questioning much to this slave's dismay. this slave is just wishing, hoping and trying to change some of the things in her D/s relationship that are not what they started out to be. LafayetteLady showed concern about the peeing ritual, Thankyou Lafayettelady, much appreciated. But this slave does not see holding it in for an hour or so until Master Husband gives permission to pee is that much of an issue. There have been times when Master Husband relaxed the training when this slave was in genuine discomfort. Master Husband enjoyes making this slave pee in the backyard at a pre determined spot when he whistles, and this slave finds that part erotic in a debashing way. Sort of like the K-9 obedience training.

myotherself and ARIES83 thankyou...for your insightful observations, Thankyou AthenaSurrenders, Chatteparfaitt for your reply.
Another thing this slave has thought through is that even though the advice she received about reevaluating the relationship with her Master, she believes that she is madly in love with her Master and vice versa. She still has a huge crush and believes that Master and this slave have a connection... . People change especially over a long period of time. Even though Master seems to be the person I love, there are things this slave would not like at all about him once she has known him.
My Master Husband is mostly wonderful and this slave does not want to jeopardize or ruin anything with him. This slave understands that Master's not perfect though (no one is!), so it is easy to put more weight on his flaws than hers when comparing but that isn't fair play.
Perhaps this thread was posted by this slave at a time when she was not thinking straight. She will post further when she has processed this throughly.

some of the advice is excellent — thank you. This slave honestly feels that at this time it is best to let it go... it is just extremely difficult to deal with it in ways suggested here. she guesses with all of the advice and suggestions, it's easy to start thinking "it was meant to be" or "these kinds of things don't just happen for no reason!" etc

Thankyou everyone once again for taking the time to reply to this slave's ranting post which makes a little less sense to her than when she posted it.

regards,
leashedlaura

_____________________________

leashedlaura is A trained housewife with a shock collar in Maryland.
My Blogs: http://thesubmissivelife.blogspot.com
http://thetrainingoflaura.blogspot.com
http://obedientlaura.blogspot.com
Slave Register #617-288-041 - registered as owned 03-

(in reply to leashedlaura)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 7:40:52 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

So basically, this is what you agreed to but now you're bored and you want to change it. If you're his slave, then it's not your decision. If he wants to change it, he will. He already knows what you want. I have a feeling he's annoyed with you always bringing it up. It's like the nagging wife. Stop doing it and maybe he'll eventually give you a break and spice things up a bit. But right now I'm betting he's just tired of hearing about it all the time.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to leashedlaura)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 9:58:01 PM

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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While I understand you have now issue with waiting to pee, the reality is that it can be physically and PERMANTENTLY damaging over time. The going outside bit? Hey, whatever floats your boat. But how hot and erotic will kidney failure or incontnance or not being able to go because of blockages be? If this were an occassional thing, maybe not a big deal, but when it is regular, and especially a first morning elimination thing, there are real dangers. Remember, overnight your body is removing toxins for more hours than during the day, so not getting rid of that through waiting to urinate can cause problems.

I've had kidney failure, multiple urinary tract infections and incontenance issues. Ok, the UTIs' are related to a separate health issue, but the point is that I doubt either will find it erotic when just the act of gettign up off the floor causes leakage that you can't control.

The other stuff is what it is, apparently you aren't bothered by it. If you ever reach the decision that you are, my advice on having him removed is good for whenever, if ever you need it.

But please do some research on the potential issues of extended periods of time not urinating when the need arises. Ask your doctor, look on line. Prevent permanent damage.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/26/2014 11:12:00 PM

pg4g

Posts: 296
Joined: 12/31/2013
From: Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

So basically, this is what you agreed to but now you're bored and you want to change it. If you're his slave, then it's not your decision. If he wants to change it, he will. He already knows what you want. I have a feeling he's annoyed with you always bringing it up. It's like the nagging wife. Stop doing it and maybe he'll eventually give you a break and spice things up a bit. But right now I'm betting he's just tired of hearing about it all the time.

The concept of this makes me uncomfortable just hearing it.

Let's forget master/slave for a second. There are two people here. Two married, apparently in love people. Let's get our head out of fantasy land and start facing the fact that if you push someone to hate the way they're being treated that much, they're going to leave. Is that the case here? Apparently not. But this 'Master' isn't showing love in the fact that he's just ignoring her wishes. Masters who ignore their slaves lose their slaves. Why? Because we're all human, and we all have the right to walk away, unlike real slaves.

I'd nip this in the bud because ignoring your slave's needs is all fine and great, but this isn't just a M/s dynamic. There's love here - they're married. And that love is jeopardised by ignoring someone you love for that long. This is a disturbing trend that I've seen in my parent's D/s relationship, and where are they? They're divorced.

I think it's important to step back every now and again and ask the tough questions, without fear of reprisal or people walking out angry and calling it M/s.

< Message edited by pg4g -- 2/26/2014 11:14:36 PM >

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It ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. - Rocky Balboa

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/27/2014 4:56:38 AM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

This has become our morning routine habit and its kind of become very boring and not sexually titillating any more. This slave tried to discuss in the past about changing the morning routine a bit like every other day or so, but Master Husband has slapped this slave more than a few times she has tried to discuss the issue, recently, the punishment for asking about a change has changed, it has become she-sleen all weekends if asked, few whipping a few times for asking, and once Master Husband just stormed off with his golf clubs out the door.

Um..., all I can say is, you have chosen a Gorean Master! If he were to practice everything as close to literal as the books as possible. Then your feelings do not matter, you are just property, not human. So of course he wouldn't care how you feel. And he wouldn't care about whether it's sexually titillating for you or not.

So the fact that his Gorean, I'd simply advice, you have 2 choices, get in line with what a Gorean slave is suppose to do, which is a no-limit slave with no rights to have any feelings of her own considered. Or leave this dude and find a master who cares about your pleasure as well as his own.

Someone did mentioned that both of you are married, I am wondering if marriage occurred after this whole Gorean slavery thingy or before?

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/27/2014 4:59:04 AM >

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/27/2014 5:07:53 AM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

and just to clarify for anyone who is skimming this string of posts..."Sometimes my Master Husband's 'no' sounds like 'no,' and sometimes it looks like 'no,' but sometimes, it looks and sounds like, 'I’m not ready to discuss.' Sometimes it looks like, G'ee, not tonight, but maybe next week,'" that's as far as this slave has been able to get to about the position training mundane routine. those are the mild "NOs" the harsh ones followed by action were already explained earlier and just to clarify there is no abuse in the relationship, whichever way you look at it.

This sounds like Christianity and their God. There is only 3 answers. Yes, No, and Wait. Haha! But you never could tell, so you'll just have to wait.

quote:

this slave is just wishing, hoping and trying to change some of the things in her D/s relationship that are not what they started out to be.

I am concern that you want to change some things. This part is usually very tricky. Because you are dealing with a master and slave relationship, and not a dom and sub one, and the way they are is, if you choose to stop some pre-agreed stuffs halfway into the relationship, they can be quite hard and simply choose to end this.

They will choose an obedient slave over love. Judging by the way your master reacted to your attempt to speak to him about this "change", he sounds like exactly the type who will choose obedience over love. So actually, the real person who has a difficult choice is you. I read further below that you are madly inlove with him. Even if he loves you, they usually end up making the decision based on logic and pragmatic, rather than go by their heart. So he may love you, but pragmatically, if he wants a slave to do those slave positions for the rest of his life, and he may just give up on love even if it hurts him. I think some doms on here can attest to that, that they have done that in the past.

Actually, I need to thank you for sharing. This has even solidify my own personal stand that I cannot ever do the slavery thing, I'm not cut out for it, because people do change, and just like your case, if I ever get sick of doing something, but I feel deeply inlove with the guy, I may be put in a shitty decision like this. And it's very difficult to leave, at the same time miserable to stay if things do not change.

I hope you manage to work things out.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/27/2014 5:16:59 AM >

(in reply to leashedlaura)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/27/2014 5:20:44 AM

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Laura, thank you so much for getting back to us. So often we give pages of advice and then never get a follow up response.

I still see some fairly significant warning signs in your relationship: the holding your urine issue, the shock collar (which is not safe for animals, most definitely not for humans), and your masterhusbands inability to resolve your concerns. You said this:

quote:

this slave is just wishing, hoping and trying to change some of the things in her D/s relationship that are not what they started out to be.

You may be wishing and hoping to change some things, but he's made it clear you don't have that power. Can you live with that?

On the one hand I have to say well gee, you bought into being a Gor slave from the get go, what did you think it would be like? Yeah, years down the road it's not so wonderful. But it *IS* what you signed up for.

On the other hands I say *everyone* yes even Gor slave's should have the opportunity to discuss issues in the relationship and have their partner seriously seek to resolve them. And that's not happening, or you wouldn't have posted here, no matter how madly in love you two are.

Does masterhusband know you began this thread? What would he think if he *did* know?

Please give the many responses you received serious consideration. Despite the obvious pissing contest, most of us posted with your best interests at heart.

Best, CP

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(in reply to leashedlaura)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/27/2014 6:53:07 AM

Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
Status: offline

To the OP, you sound utterly unhappy. Life is too short to be unhappy. Your M/s relationship is fantasy but your marriage is very real. Your husband should know the difference. At least I hope he does.

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."-Marianne Williamson

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

RE: How often does a Master usually put his slave into ... - 2/27/2014 7:25:43 AM

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

The other stuff is what it is, apparently you aren't bothered by it. If you ever reach the decision that you are, my advice on having him removed is good for whenever, if ever you need it.

Forgetting Gor, Master/slave, and BDSM for a minute...

She just said that the entirety of the ritual, and his behavior is consensual. SHE consents. Not only does she merely consent, she wants this, has wanted this in the past, and the things she's currently bothered by are NONE of the items you consider 'abuse'.

Yet... you're suggesting that at, if at some point in the future, she decides she no longer wants to consent to future acts... she should have him removed and charged with abuse??? Seriously???

Are you seriously suggesting that current consent isn't enough, and that if a woman later changes her mind about sexual act, kinky acts, BDSM acts, or other mature activities she ACTIVELY ASSURED THE GUY SHE CONSENTED TO WHEN THEY HAPPENED he needs to be removed and prosecute???

That, it literally, THE scariest thing I've ever read on this board... and Kana posts here...

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

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