GoddessManko
Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zonie63
quote:
ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:
ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I think GotSteel started this to hopefully inspire members to be nicer to each other rather than enact a change in moderation. Which is in my opinion kinda hopeless, be the best you can be personally, thats really all anyone can do. After all these pages, I think it's apparent.
Shifty's right that my point hasn't been to pester mod3, I'm trying to raise awareness. There have been two often repeated objections to my position that I'm trying to debunk.
1. That the problems I'm referring to don't exist. I hope I've been able to raise awareness through examples of hazing, cyber bullying and lifestyle bigotry. Not because this thread is about picking on specific people (I've tried to stay general as much as possible) but because how else can one rebut denial than to point to the problems?
2. That if these behaviors do exist they're justified. I hope I've been able to make strong arguments that even the cases brought to me as the most justifiable might not be quite as justified as first knee jerk reaction would have us believe.
Maybe nicer is a reasonable word for what I'm trying to achieve, I tend to think I'm looking for a lower bar than that, I'd like it if we could try not to be abusive to each other quite as often.
I never had any huge problems when I first got here, although I've had a few unpleasant exchanges from time to time, although that's to be expected on any message board. I've also observed many of the behaviors you're noting in regards to treatment of new posters, although I've seen it on quite a number of forums I've frequented over the years.
There are worse forums out there, where flaming each other is the order of the day.
I never really cared if people are "nice" or not. There's a lot of discourteous, impolite behavior in the real world, so it's not surprising that it happens over the internet.
I can understand where it comes from to some extent, as a lot of message board attitudes seemed to originate at a time when people were on dial-up connections and bandwidth/memory were at a premium. So, people who wasted time "trolling" were also wasting other people's money, so the negative attitude might have been understandable to a degree. Nowadays, with lightning-fast connections and oodles of memory, the attitudes in question seem rather antiquated and petty.
As to this site, I've seen people complain about alleged "trolls" or supposed "dead horse questions," as if they're upset about people wasting their time, and this may be why some people believe that such attitudes and behaviors are justified regarding how some new posters are treated.
But what I could never understand is why people would go out of their way to post in a thread just to say that they're avoiding directly addressing the question or topic raised by the original poster. I sometimes find myself wondering why someone would post "bless your heart" in a thread when they're not answering the question/topic and when they probably aren't sincere in their supposed "blessing." I don't really mind a bit of snipe and snark, as long as someone is providing some relevant information or at least taking a stand on something and stating the reasons why.
In the political/feisty section, a lot of the posters there may come off as complete assholes who are most definitely not "nice" by any standard. But at least there's something real about it - an honest, heart-to-heart disagreement over something leading to a lot of vitriol - but also some interesting information and arguments being put forth. However, in some of the other sections, there's a kind of smarmy snark which does tend to be a bit off-putting.
For some reason, I'm reminded of something that happened when I was in 4th or 5th grade. It was lunchtime, and I was sitting there eating my SnackPack chocolate pudding which I enjoyed so very much (and still do on occasion). Some kid next to me (a kind of friend/enemy type I remember from those days) looked and said "Ewww! You're eating diarrhea!"
I replied and explained to him that I was eating chocolate pudding. He said "No, it's diarrhea." Whatever "joke" he was trying to make had already lost what little humorous effect there was. I even showed him the label on the package, which clearly stated that it was chocolate pudding, and then he said "It was chocolate pudding, before you touched it." I felt like flicking a spoonful of chocolate pudding in his face just to prove it to him, but I didn't want to waste a single bit of it.
I look back on it with some amusement at the utter absurdity of the situation and the conversation I was having, but there are times when I read message board threads which bring me back to that moment.
LOL, exactly this.
Also I like the discourse in the political forum, few other things are as important as societal awareness and there is something charming and friendly even in the argumentative moments. Very unlike the unnecessary pettiness and poor attempts at insult we see elsewhere.
_____________________________
Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.
http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/
The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.
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