In many ways, I'm tomboyish. I grew up surrounded by guys, and I'm also around them in my professional life. I picked up on some of their characteristics. I relate to men more than women.
I can tell you I don't like makeup, I'm more inclined to want to fix problems you have than sympathize, etc. I can tell you I would probably feel just fine being born male. But that doesn't sound convincing. I can say I think or feel in ways that are traditionally masculine, and it makes sense to me.
My impression is that for a trans person, they're experiencing this jacked up to 11. This is especially true for an MtF like Leelah, because masculine-leaning females are more accepted in society these days than feminine-leaning males.
My boytoy is GQ. He was born male, but his gender expression leans feminine. For a while he tried to take the transition route and become a woman in hopes it would help his dysphoria, because even with discrimination he could find more acceptance as a transwoman than as a "man in makeup." For reasons that would probably derail the thread, transition made him unhappier and he stopped, and now rejects any kind of binary gender identity.
He's become convinced that eliminating masculine/feminine labels from society would eliminate discrimination and feelings of self-loathing against people like him and like Leelah, but I'm not sure what to make of that. I have a hard time imagining a society like that. But I do know there's a definite stigma attached to identifying with traits associated with the "wrong" gender, and that stigma needs to go away more than anything.
We are very much the same RR. I too grew up playing with boys, preferring their toys to stereotypical girls toys. I wore pants and such (a defensive move on the part of my mom who got tired of me shredding dresses lol) and in every respect was and still am for the large part a tomboy. I STILL identify as female always have always will. I firmly believe being trans is so much more than preferring so-called "boys" stuff.
I don't think going down the road of gender neutrality is the way to go. We will still identify as either male or female regardless of the cues we are given by society and our parents. Better to work at eliminating the stigma and descrimination associated with the dysphoria experienced by trans people by teaching kids that the bottom line is that we are all human and compassion is the way to go.
I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.
If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor