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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 5:46:56 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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Actually, I think a lot of people don't have a grasp of just how many kink folks are military, military dependents, or former military. Some answers on the board are going to reflect that and you're going to see the military first angle.

For stuff like being in love, a newlywed, you had a break-up, or that kind of thing, it's still duty first and a soldier is going to know that. Anybody in an intimate relationship with them also has to know it to the point that they have to accommodate this primary thing that is going to be in their lives.

I don't know if this is the best way to express it. The military is something like a culture all it's own. You have different rules that you live under, a whole addition of laws on top of the laws that non military people live under, different punishments if you screw up, etc. You're immersed in that culture all of the time, so it's automatic for your brain to think of what that military culture tells you to do. They drill that culture into your head from the first day you hit basic, so the soldier in her did know what to do.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 5:55:48 AM   
Greta75


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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit
I have friends who it worked out for though, their parents made good choices and they have happy families
Like with anything it depends on the people involved.

I know enough happy arrange marriages to know that, it's actually quite effective in terms of longevity, and working together as a team to raise kids and just effective. Usually if it didn't work, it's because it's one of those truly forced marriages, or yea, parents just did a bad job of choosing wrong matches.

Romantic love is the hardest to maintain as it's emotional. Practical love is alot easier.

But I still choose romantic love any day, as I like all the flutterings and irrational inexplainable feelings that is magical to me. I'm all about what I feel for a man. It's also because of this segregation that, even the most awesome sexual experience cannot instill love in my heart for a man, because it's not the same. For me, there are practical steps to elicit a great sexual experience, and I can hold a man's hand and teach him everything there is about bringing me to heaven. So if I can re-create it, then it's not special. But I can't re-create flutterings.



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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 5:59:09 AM   
Greta75


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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
They drill that culture into your head from the first day you hit basic, so the soldier in her did know what to do.

In my country, every single male is part of the military, as we got too little people so we need every single man to be operational ready for the army. And imagine throughout their life, they have to take twice a year fitness test to maintain military fitness, or get sent to retraining camp to get their fitness level up to scratch.
I think the thread isn't about if she is emotionally detached enough to be a capable soldier. But she just wants to know if what her dom did to her was acceptable in the D/S world or not. She sounds like she's really new to D/S. And it may seem like a stupid question to some, but people who are inexperience in D/S regardless of age do get told many conflicting information.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 6:05:05 AM   
freedomdwarf1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
Maybe you haven't witnessed the ugly side of arranged marriages.
Everyone assumes that everything will be ok and they will love each other happily ever after.

Nope, any Asian who step into an arrange marriage is prepared to work very hard on their marriage and compromise alot, because it's generally for people who do not process love emotionally and go about a marriage like, how they will handle difficulties in getting along with a new boss in a new company. Those who do not like arranged marriage are people who simply want an easier compatibility, without having to work too hard. What I mean is, you just want to feel being with that person is easy and not constant hard work.

Marriage shouldn't be hard work. Period.
If it's hard work, you are with the wrong person.
It should be a joy to be with someone. Something you want to do every day.
Maybe that's why asians don't invest so much in emotional ties and when they do find one it is overwhelming.
The new boss scenario is nothing like a new companian. Totally different.
It's not about not liking arranged marriages. Arranged marriages are slavery in disuise.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
quote:

Unfortunately, a lot of women in this situation just accept it as fate so as not to damage or insult the family honour. In essence, it's nothing short of imposed slavery.

While there are arrange marriage that are abusive but in modern countries like ours, arrange marriages are like between doctors and lawyers, high educated folks, who just do not believe in emotional love. There are a whole bunch of super practical and pragmatic folks, who indulge in it. And these marriages actually work, because they didn't do the fall inlove thingy, and expect the magical feelings to always be there. They go into it expecting it to be initial difficulties of adjusting to each other, and working together to overcome them. It kinda works out. But not for me. If only I can process love base on practicality, I should be married by now. Last proposal was a textbook perfect man whom my parents would absolutely love.

These marriages are nothing short of marriages of convenience.
Probably to do with tax breaks amongst other things.
Again, you are painting a very black/white contrast which doesn't work in the west.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
quote:

In fact, it is such a problem with honour killings in the wake of failed arranged marriages that arranged marriages are illegal here and carry a prison sentence for those that arrange it.

I blame the backwards muslims for making their illegal arrange marriages so terrible, but in my country, it's not just the muslims who does them. And there is no such thing as honour killings in those modern arrange marriages. Also, in local arrange marriages, they need to get their kids to agree first. They can't make them marry unless the kids gives the green light. Some moms guilt trip their sons, like she hope to choose his wife or something like that before she dies, it would be her death wish. Well some Asian boys are mommy's boy, so they will respect her request, so I guess that's the coercion part. And some Asian women are like seriously just indoctrinated to be super submissive that she doesn't even feel or think she wants a choice in choosing her partner, but leave it to her parents. There are just some who are just like that.

And that would be cultural indoctrination. Something we don't really have here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
You know, one of my Indian friends just married a surgeon from India. His just a rich kid who is working in his family business. And his wife is way more educated than him. And it was arranged by his mom. And she turned out to be beautiful and smart and his happy, and I think the bride is happy she is marrying wealth.

And to me, that is the very wrong reason to get married.
Such is the indoctrination of your culture (and that of Islamics in general), that wealth and/or position come before the personal feelings of the woman involved.
This would be because the general status of females in those societies (if they count at all) are certainly not equal.

Some arranged marriages work out, but many don't.
And a recently opened muslim helpline are taking upwards of 500 calls a day becase of failed arranged marriages and women being scared witless of religious repercussions of going against tradition.
Many women are reporting that they are fearful of their life because just to question it gets them beaten with threats to their life if they dare to speak about it.
What sort of existence is that?? Smile under their hijab whilst covering hundreds of bruises and scars from their partner. The whole mindset is anathema to western living and should be completely outlawed.


_____________________________

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 6:10:49 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
And a recently opened muslim helpline are taking upwards of 500 calls a day becase of failed arranged marriages and women being scared witless of religious repercussions of going against tradition.
Many women are reporting that they are fearful of their life because just to question it gets them beaten with threats to their life if they dare to speak about it.
What sort of existence is that?? Smile under their hijab whilst covering hundreds of bruises and scars from their partner. The whole mindset is anathema to western living and should be completely outlawed.

In the UK, arranged marriages does seem to be predominantly happening with the Muslims. But not in mine. And you know my feelings towards that religion. Anything tainted with that religion usually leads to unpleasant things. Fortunately in Singapore, a woman wouldn't be able to land a job wearing a hijab. It's just not acceptable and frown upon here. And most Muslim men wouldn't be able to survive here without dual income, so their wives have to work, thus, she got to dress normal. On top of that, all Muslim women know civil laws protect them from physical violent spouses. There is zero political correctness in this country. I heard in the UK, police are afraid to arrest violent muslim spouses due to being accused of racism. So back to who is more free. I think even a muslim woman living in Singapore is more free than the UK, if she can't rely on her police for protection.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 9/30/2015 6:12:12 AM >

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 6:33:59 AM   
freedomdwarf1


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Joined: 10/23/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
And a recently opened muslim helpline are taking upwards of 500 calls a day becase of failed arranged marriages and women being scared witless of religious repercussions of going against tradition.
Many women are reporting that they are fearful of their life because just to question it gets them beaten with threats to their life if they dare to speak about it.
What sort of existence is that?? Smile under their hijab whilst covering hundreds of bruises and scars from their partner. The whole mindset is anathema to western living and should be completely outlawed.

In the UK, arranged marriages does seem to be predominantly happening with the Muslims. But not in mine. And you know my feelings towards that religion. Anything tainted with that religion usually leads to unpleasant things. Fortunately in Singapore, a woman wouldn't be able to land a job wearing a hijab. It's just not acceptable and frown upon here. And most Muslim men wouldn't be able to survive here without dual income, so their wives have to work, thus, she got to dress normal. On top of that, all Muslim women know civil laws protect them from physical violent spouses. There is zero political correctness in this country. I heard in the UK, police are afraid to arrest violent muslim spouses due to being accused of racism. So back to who is more free. I think even a muslim woman living in Singapore is more free than the UK, if she can't rely on her police for protection.

You are quoting a very minor incident which is not prevalent amongst our police in general. And even then, it was only a supposition/suggestion, not actual fact.
We have had many cases where whole groups of nasty men (usually muslims) are arrested and prosecuted for various infractions against women.
The problem here is that many women don't speak out against injustice because of indocrinated religion and brainwashing of their culture.
It's a real shame that there are so many that either haven't integrated and embraced their new country (and it's laws) or are still living their old lifestyle but in a different land.

Arranged marriages aren't legal here. Or did you miss that bit??
If there is even a hint that a marriage is arranged against either party, it is not recognised and the arrangers are prosecuted.



_____________________________

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
George Orwell, 1903-1950


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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 6:40:56 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
In my country, every single male is part of the military, as we got too little people so we need every single man to be operational ready for the army. And imagine throughout their life, they have to take twice a year fitness test to maintain military fitness, or get sent to retraining camp to get their fitness level up to scratch.
I think the thread isn't about if she is emotionally detached enough to be a capable soldier. But she just wants to know if what her dom did to her was acceptable in the D/S world or not. She sounds like she's really new to D/S. And it may seem like a stupid question to some, but people who are inexperience in D/S regardless of age do get told many conflicting information.

For information sharing purposes, that goes a little differently here. Active duty soldiers (meaning people in the army full time) have PT (physical training) tests at least every ninety days. Some units don't do as well as others as keeping that as standard, or they can have more than that but one is supposed to be on official file in that time frame.

A military person can retire at twenty years of full time service or stay in as long as thirty. Those are the full time people who go to work for the Army every day. Our military is all voluntary at this point (wasn't always, that was known as the draft) so it's optional.

The military doesn't recognize a person's Dominant as a relationship status. They don't care about your boyfriend/girlfriend, either. Only those as a legal spouse. On the other hand, those contracts that they sign to be in the military hold a lot of weight. When they say here that the Army owns your ass, they mean it.

Her situation yesterday would be in parallel to men in your country in the Army if one of your men were told they had to come for their physical training test and they didn't show up. Would they be excused from it for something like the wife wanted the car that day to go shopping?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 6:41:50 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
We have had many cases where whole groups of nasty men (usually muslims) are arrested and prosecuted for various infractions against women.

Good to hear it's a tiny isolated case.

quote:

Arranged marriages aren't legal here. Or did you miss that bit??
If there is even a hint that a marriage is arranged against either party, it is not recognised and the arrangers are prosecuted.

Arranged marriage gotta be legal if it's consensual by both parties. They can't possibly forbid two people from getting married IF they both agreed to their parent's choices for them right? That seems against freedom too.

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 6:43:57 AM   
Greta75


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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Her situation yesterday would be in parallel to men in your country in the Army if one of your men were told they had to come for their physical training test and they didn't show up. Would they be excused from it for something like the wife wanted the car that day to go shopping?

No, they get thrown into detention barracks. They always get called in without warning, men here are used to it, and if they no show or late, they are in deep shit. As they always rehearse in case of emergency, how they gonna get all military men into position as soon as possible when they are all out living normal lives. It's constantly going all year round.

But I guess my point is, she is already in deep shit, so not necessary for this forum to give her more shit, that is all my point is.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 9/30/2015 6:45:57 AM >

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 7:02:08 AM   
freedomdwarf1


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Joined: 10/23/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Arranged marriage gotta be legal if it's consensual by both parties. They can't possibly forbid two people from getting married IF they both agreed to their parent's choices for them right? That seems against freedom too.

It's not legal here. At all. In any shape or form.
If anyone reports that a marriage was 'arranged', it is declared a sham marriage and anulled.
They would have to go through hoops with the authorities to prove it wasn't arranged.


_____________________________

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
George Orwell, 1903-1950


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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 7:10:40 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
No, they get thrown into detention barracks. They always get called in without warning, men here are used to it, and if they no show or late, they are in deep shit. As they always rehearse in case of emergency, how they gonna get all military men into position as soon as possible when they are all out living normal lives. It's constantly going all year round.

But I guess my point is, she is already in deep shit, so not necessary for this forum to give her more shit, that is all my point is.


There we go. We've got a common reference! It's exactly like that!

She doesn't get the option of just not showing up. Not over a trivial thing. If it was something like a family member (again, by legal definition) died, somebody was rushed to the hospital, or the house was burning down, that would be different. However, you have to prove there was an emergency.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 7:13:54 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
It's not legal here. At all. In any shape or form.
If anyone reports that a marriage was 'arranged', it is declared a sham marriage and anulled.
They would have to go through hoops with the authorities to prove it wasn't arranged.

Oh wow! That's kinda against freedom of arrange marriages I would say. The consensual types, they seriously are like mommy girl or mommy boy. And they will marry whoever their mom chooses because they love and trust their mom to choose the best partner for them, like they rely on their parents to always have their best interest at heart. It's a very different mindset. And maybe if my life was different, and if I had a loving mom, I might even let her choose my husband.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 9/30/2015 7:14:09 AM >

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 7:21:46 AM   
angelikaJ


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Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Her situation yesterday would be in parallel to men in your country in the Army if one of your men were told they had to come for their physical training test and they didn't show up. Would they be excused from it for something like the wife wanted the car that day to go shopping?

No, they get thrown into detention barracks. They always get called in without warning, men here are used to it, and if they no show or late, they are in deep shit. As they always rehearse in case of emergency, how they gonna get all military men into position as soon as possible when they are all out living normal lives. It's constantly going all year round.

But I guess my point is, she is already in deep shit, so not necessary for this forum to give her more shit, that is all my point is.



I hear you, Greta.
However, we never know what will resonate for the person on the other side of the screen.
*Some* people respond better to a swift kick in the ass.

I don't think they were being mean.
That implies intent.
They sure didn't candy-coat their opinion, and she may have felt judged, but that is what happens when an adult posts a question on an adult forum.



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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 7:34:23 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
It's not legal here. At all. In any shape or form.
If anyone reports that a marriage was 'arranged', it is declared a sham marriage and anulled.
They would have to go through hoops with the authorities to prove it wasn't arranged.

Oh wow! That's kinda against freedom of arrange marriages I would say. The consensual types, they seriously are like mommy girl or mommy boy. And they will marry whoever their mom chooses because they love and trust their mom to choose the best partner for them, like they rely on their parents to always have their best interest at heart. It's a very different mindset. And maybe if my life was different, and if I had a loving mom, I might even let her choose my husband.

It's not against any type of freedom. It's a choice of freedom!
If they both agree, then it's not an 'arranged' marriage - purely because they have both agreed to it, just like any other normal marriage where both parties have made their choice of each other.
Marriage that is not by mutual consent is nothing short of coersive slavery.

Freedom of choice means you get to choose your partner; not your mum, your inlaws, your brother, or whomever you decide to choose as your champion.
Religion doesn't come into it, neither does culture. A person should be free to choose whoever they want for a partner for whatever reason that suits them - as long as it is their own free choice and no pressure imposed upon them from any direction.
It is for that reason that arranged marriages are illegal here - lack of freedom of choice by at least one of the parties. If that notion of freedom goes against a particular religion or culture, then so be it, it is the law here.
If you don't like it, go back to where arranged marriages are the norm in that society. But don't complain when you don't have the freedom to leave said marriage when it doesn't work out. Can't have it both ways.


_____________________________

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 7:39:02 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
Freedom of choice means you get to choose your partner; not your mum, your inlaws, your brother, or whomever you decide to choose as your champion.

But freedom of choice is also the choice to choose a person whom you believe will be capable of choosing for you better than you can choose for yourself, on your future partner. Kinda like outsourcing your choice. It's like employing someone else to get a job done ha.
I mean, there is literal proof with the plentiful divorces in this universe, that sometimes, we aren't very good at choosing our own partners either. You did a good job, but many people did not.

I don't understand why would you say the choice of leaving the marriage would be taken from you. I mean, just because your parents chose your spouse and you let them take care of that selection for you. But later if you don't like it, you can still divorce. No big deal.

Divorce is allowed for everybody in my country!

I think you link arrange marriages too much to muslim style arrange marriages. It's not exclusive to Muslim cultures, and you know, chinese arrange marriages, divorce was always easy even in china. And really, the parents have to first persuade their child to allow them to choose their spouse. Every step of it is usually consensual.

But I can't imagine if a malicious neighbour went to report some Asian couple for being arranged married. And it is true that they gave permission to their parents to choose their spouses for them. And they get their marriage annulled. That's sad! It's like if it's consensual, there should be no issues.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 9/30/2015 7:45:17 AM >

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 8:08:56 AM   
DerangedUnit


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Yeah arranged marriages arent just muslim, they are actually pretty common here in the us(my landlords marriage was arranged, they are Indian) most of my family was arranged and my family includes japanese, Filipino, white, and most recently mexican.... and no one in my family is muslim(there is Christian, Buddhist or athiest(cough me) that I know of)

There was even a reality show done recently about couples getting their marriages arranged in the usa.... it followed a white southern baptist couple, indian, and gypsy.

I think its something the average person just doesnt recognize, here people dont expect it but if you actually get to know a range of people its pretty prevalent...my owners ex had an arranged Mormon marriage first.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 8:14:35 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
Freedom of choice means you get to choose your partner; not your mum, your inlaws, your brother, or whomever you decide to choose as your champion.

But freedom of choice is also the choice to choose a person whom you believe will be capable of choosing for you better than you can choose for yourself, on your future partner. Kinda like outsourcing your choice. It's like employing someone else to get a job done ha.

Sorry, the job scenario is not the same thing.
Nobody, and I do mean nobody, knows what trips your switch and makes you go wobbly at the knees when you see your chosen one. As someone who puts such emphasis on emotional love, you should know better than most of us that nobody, no matter how much you trust their judgement, can pick your ideal partner for all the various facets that make you go all queezy and break out in a hot flush just when you think about them and just melt when you see them - even from afar.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
I mean, there is literal proof with the plentiful divorces in this universe, that sometimes, we aren't very good at choosing our own partners either. You did a good job, but many people did not.

It took me two bites at the cherry to get it right.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
I don't understand why would you say the choice of leaving the marriage would be taken from you. I mean, just because your parents chose your spouse and you let them take care of that selection for you. But later if you don't like it, you can still divorce. No big deal.

In most religions and cultures where arranged marriages are the norm, the female rarely gets to choose if she wants a divorce or not. Many live under the threat of beatings by their husband or the real quandry of going into hiding because of honour killings by their own family.
Divorce isn't always an option for many of these females in this situation. It becomes a choice of put up with it or death. That is not a choice, it's hobson's choice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Divorce is allowed for everybody in my country!

Nope. It's not allowed for a muslim woman to divorce her husband unless he allows it - and then she is often shunned by the rest of the community and her family.
Catholics can't get a divorce either unless they get papal dispensation. Catholics don't recognise divorce.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
I think you link arrange marriages too much to muslim style arrange marriages. It's not exclusive to Muslim cultures, and you know, chinese arrange marriages, divorce was always easy even in china. And really, the parents have to first persuade their child to allow them to choose their spouse. Every step of it is usually consensual.

True, it's not just the muslims that have arranged marriages.
But again, even in other asian cultures where arranged marriages are normal and even consensual, the choices are often for other reasons, not for love or what the female feels or wants.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
But I can't imagine if a malicious neighbour went to report some Asian couple for being arranged married. And it is true that they gave permission to their parents to choose their spouses for them. And they get their marriage annulled. That's sad! It's like if it's consensual, there should be no issues.

The problem is that you cannot see that someone else is choosing your partner is not a free choice - it is the choice of someone else, not the person involved.
And quite often, the parties haven't even met when these choices are made for them.
To put it simply, not met means you haven't chosen (and you don't know them) and that in itself is lack of choice.
Yes, we have seen here where friends of the bride or the family have dobbed someone in for having an arranged marriage. Sometimes it comes from someone who thinks they should have been the chosen one but wasn't.
This is why freedom of choice is so important in a free society.
And the reason you don't see or understand most of what I'm alluding to is that your culture is oppressed to a great degree so anything like this is hushed up and swept under the carpet out of sight because your government doesn't want the populace to find out that such things happen.



_____________________________

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
George Orwell, 1903-1950


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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 8:39:44 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I am a cancer patient and work with others including hospices.

So you have cancer and you feel empathy for people suffering similar conditions with you. I am simply saying you did not feel empathy for her because you never experienced it to know what it is like. So instead, you chose to put her down instead. It's very holier than thou. That's annoying because whatever you said was not useful or helpful to her at all, because she is not you and by asking that question, it is already very clear that she's dealing with heavy emotions as she posted that and needed help for clarity.

quote:

When you post on a forum, you risk not having your decisions validated.

She didn't even make any decision, she was asking for help with her decision. Instead of simply saying, "If I were you, I would do this", you went and insult her. I guess I can keep quiet and ignore this, but I have seen comments like these many times in the past, especially towards adult women who are "suppose to know better", which I feel is just really nasty but since this whole forum is starting on a clean slate, I just hope to see more kindness and less meanness. And if someone is going through distress, and if you can't help yourself but scold her further, then maybe it's best to say nothing.

Of course this is just my opinion and suggestion. You are free to carry on being mean.

I just hate to watch someone being kicked when she's down.



As I expected, my explanation, and apparently other poster's explanations sailed right over your head, as usual.

I didn't insult her, I gave my opinion. I didn't kick her, I rationally stated that one doesn't make life decisions based on emotions. Logic is needed in life, not rose colored glasses.

If you equate honest opinions with meanness, then leave and start a group on another site.

I suggest you read more, post less and learn to live in the real world instead of your gothic romance novels.

Grow up and stop looking at the world through your limited views.




(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 9:32:01 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
As I expected, my explanation, and apparently other poster's explanations sailed right over your head, as usual.

I didn't insult her, I gave my opinion. I didn't kick her, I rationally stated that one doesn't make life decisions based on emotions. Logic is needed in life, not rose colored glasses.

If you equate honest opinions with meanness, then leave and start a group on another site.

I suggest you read more, post less and learn to live in the real world instead of your gothic romance novels.

Grow up and stop looking at the world through your limited views.

The problem with Greta is that she lives in a very small and totally encapsulated society where the rulers shield them from most of the outside world. They spoon-feed the populace with the party line and much like North Korea and China under Mao, are given very little leeway to make personal choices freely like we do in the west.
In Singapore, those that are rich enough (both male and female) employ 'runners' to find them a mate because (according to the program I saw), they are scared of emotional ties and usually wed their partners for other considerations.
This is why Greta is so removed from western society that she cannot grasp or comprehend the average western civilisation and how it works and thus puts her opinions from a rather myopic PoV.
What she perceives as freedom is in fact the view from a prison.
Agreed, it is better than North Korea; but in many respects, it is very much the same sort of regime.


_____________________________

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 10:18:03 AM   
youthinkso121


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/18/2013
Status: offline
Sorry to disagree, but arranged marriages are not illegal in the UK.

Forced marriages are what are illegal, they are not the same thing.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 60
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