quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


I can suggest another reason: Because she values different POVs of ALL kinds, and feels that sexyred1 has as much a right to her way of postings and opinions as you do, and thinks there is value in the variety of personalities and experience on this forum.

Or, rather, that's how I see it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
To me, it's very normal for people regardless of age, new to bdsm, to have confusion if same rules apply or not. Due to the whole master and slave thingy going on, and depends on the extension of that relationship, some may have agreed to give up their rights.

Some get confuse what rights they have left, after they agreed to give up their rights.

Many of you experience and senior people (i don't mean old, but seniority in experiences with kink), would have made such a positive difference in alot of these newbies lives by guiding them or just sharing your experiences on what's normal in your world in such a situation.

There is no need for any derisive comments if even if we see another for example 60 yr old woman who is confuse, ask the same similar type questions.

And actually LP, you aren't even one of those who is ever derisive to start with.

But I don't know why you are disagreeing to just being kinder. Because usually your actions are rather kind yourself when you respond to such postings.

So I think you are just standing up for red who is your friend. But I know you yourself wouldn't say anything like she said it.

Ha. It's OK. You could have called me old if you wanted to. I'd have been cool with it.

Red is my friend. (I consider her my friend.) That's not why I'm agreeing with what she said or even the way she said it. If I based my idea of friendships on that, I'd better hang it up because I'd be hard pressed to come up with anybody on these boards that I've always agreed with. Just personal opinion but I'd think basing friendship on always agreeing with someone to be kind of shallow.

This case in particular, we're talking about somebody who gave up certain things for their country and that's always supposed to come first. From the moment they swear in, their first priority is supposed to be to doing their duty to their country. I expect more from the OP having this knowledge. Confusion isn't on the list of options. Being where you are supposed to be, when you are supposed to be there, is pretty high up there in military life. It's part of that whole sacrifice thing.

Just for the record, I do say things like that. I'm not one of those folks who think military personnel should be treated with kid gloves. I'm not one of those people who believe she has earned her spouse's rank, (those are out there) but even just being around this stuff in the last fourteen years, I do look at people with disdain if they took that oath and don't fulfill it. If you marry the person who took that oath, you have to be right there with them. I've seen military spouses make it harder on the person in uniform by pulling stunts like the one described in the OP and it bugs the crap out of me. If I had the opportunity to talk to the so-called "spouse" mentioned in the OP, I doubt very much that he would like what I have to say.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
To me, it's very normal for people regardless of age, new to bdsm, to have confusion if same rules apply or not. Due to the whole master and slave thingy going on, and depends on the extension of that relationship, some may have agreed to give up their rights.

Some get confuse what rights they have left, after they agreed to give up their rights.

Many of you experience and senior people (i don't mean old, but seniority in experiences with kink), would have made such a positive difference in alot of these newbies lives by guiding them or just sharing your experiences on what's normal in your world in such a situation.

There is no need for any derisive comments if even if we see another for example 60 yr old woman who is confuse, ask the same similar type questions.

And actually LP, you aren't even one of those who is ever derisive to start with.

But I don't know why you are disagreeing to just being kinder. Because usually your actions are rather kind yourself when you respond to such postings.

So I think you are just standing up for red who is your friend. But I know you yourself wouldn't say anything like she said it.

Ha. It's OK. You could have called me old if you wanted to. I'd have been cool with it.

Red is my friend. (I consider her my friend.) That's not why I'm agreeing with what she said or even the way she said it. If I based my idea of friendships on that, I'd better hang it up because I'd be hard pressed to come up with anybody on these boards that I've always agreed with. Just personal opinion but I'd think basing friendship on always agreeing with someone to be kind of shallow.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
So I think you are just standing up for red who is your friend. But I know you yourself wouldn't say anything like she said it.

I can suggest another reason: Because she values different POVs of ALL kinds, and feels that sexyred1 has as much a right to her way of postings and opinions as you do, and thinks there is value in the variety of personalities and experience on this forum.

Or, rather, that's how I see it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: armyprincess
Thank you to the people that made good points and didn't turn my post into something that had nothing to do with the question.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic
Really? Have you not heard the very common phrase "Love is blind"? I don't think it has anything to do with BDSM or kink... or at least, it certainly doesn't take that. People act like their brain has flown out the window quite effectively without the trappings of Kink.

Yes, really. Or, as Shrek would say, really really.

I'm not saying the kink is a requirement for people to lose their brains. I said a few pages back that I've seen military folks do some really stupid stuff that would make your head spin. (I think my favorite of all time was the guy who got bored on gate duty, so he made a cute video of how a person could get into a restricted area, and slapped the thing up on youtube. Nope, not kidding. That's a true story that created all kinds of havoc.)

On the other hand, how many threads have you seen over the years that people new to kink thought the rules were 'different' because instead of boyfriend, the term they were using for the other person was Daddy/Sir/Dom/Master/Grand High Exalted Pooh Bah of the Water Buffaloes? They tend to go something like this:

Why doesn't Master call anymore after tryst at local hotel <or insert similar problem here>?

People on thread reply to ask if the original poster would think the situation would be ok if it was vanilla.

"Well, no, but I thought a Master would be..."

That's just an example of people thinking the rules change just because somebody picks a label from the menu. There really are tons of them. All kinds of variations of people putting up with crap just because the other person labels themselves a D, or an s. I'd be kind of surprised if any poster who has been around these types of forums hasn't been able to detect it.

Nice to see you though, Bhruick. I hope things are well in your corner of the world.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic
It seems like you are saying that the trappings of kink can make people feel like they are in a relationship, when they are not really... or that the relationship is farther along then it really is.

Is that right? If so, then I would agree with that, now that I think of it. The power exchange element can create the illusion of intimacy before it actually occurs.

Actually... now that I think of it... Kink might also give people the illusion they are communicating well, because they communicate and negotiate around their BDSM dynamic, but they might be forgetting to communicate about the mundane issues of everyday life.

And things are going well up here in Toronto, thanks very much. Hope things are well with you too :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


No, I actually mean the propensity that some folks get that because it's kink, all of a sudden, all of the other rules change. The power exchange element tends to get people thinking that all things should be acceptable just because the D/s or the S/m is involved. I find this is an incorrect assumption that some folks new to the whole gig make.