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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 10:24:50 AM   
freedomdwarf1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: youthinkso121

Sorry to disagree, but arranged marriages are not illegal in the UK.

Forced marriages are what are illegal, they are not the same thing.

If one of the party doesn't agree to it for whatever reason - it is forced, is it not?
If both parties agree, by whatever means, then it isn't.

From the BBC: "Forced marriages occur when either or both participants have been pressured into entering matrimony, without giving their free consent."
"They may have been emotionally blackmailed, physically threatened or abused."
So.... any sort of coersion from anyone would be deemed a forced marriage as per our laws and is illegal.

More:
An indication of being made to marry someone against their will is 'a feeling', says Sue from Central Manchester Women's Aid. "You know from a young age whether you can say yes or no to your parents.

"And on the day of the ceremony, it is extremely difficult for anyone to say no when everything has been organised."

Some young people, especially of South Asian origin, have been taken on visits to the subcontinent by their families, unaware of plans to marry them off. Passports have been confiscated to prevent them returning home.

Those who either have been or fear being forced into marriage can become depressed and frightened, develop mental and physical health problems and harm themselves.

A number of those trying to escape unwanted unions have even become victims of honour-based violence or committed suicide.

No major world faith advocates forced marriages although some may try to justify it on religious grounds.

The practice crosses boundaries of culture and class and happens worldwide, but it especially concerns those living in and originating from Asia.

"It’s tradition, not religion, that is the problem," says Jasvinder Sanghera, who runs a charity that helps forced marriage victims and survived a forced marriage herself.


Even more info -
Laws to prevent forced marriages and provide a way out for those already in an unwanted union were introduced in England, Wales and Northern Ireland in November 2008.

Anyone - including a victim, friend or local authority - can ask a court to implement a Forced Marriage Protection Order (FMPO).

This can stop a person being married against their will and prevent them from being taken abroad.

The FMPOs can also demand that perpetrators stop any intimidation, reveal the victim's location and hand over passports otherwise they could face imprisonment.

A person convicted of coercing somebody to marry could be jailed for up to two years.


< Message edited by freedomdwarf1 -- 9/30/2015 10:33:57 AM >


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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 12:33:16 PM   
UllrsIshtar


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Almost everyone from the US knows a friend who died from drugs.




Bullshit. I don't know anybody who's died from drug use.

A quick ask around in my circle of friends (asked about 25 people who were online at the time) I don't know anybody who knows somebody who's died from drug use.

And I'm originally from a country where drug use is legal. And Belgium has a much lower incident rate of drug abuse and drug related deaths than the US does.


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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 1:01:37 PM   
NookieNotes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Almost everyone from the US knows a friend who died from drugs.



Bullshit. I don't know anybody who's died from drug use.



Nope. Me neither.

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 1:02:45 PM   
Spiritedsub2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Almost everyone from the US knows a friend who died from drugs.



Bullshit. I don't know anybody who's died from drug use.



Nope. Me neither.



Nope. Me neither.

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 1:20:50 PM   
freedomdwarf1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Almost everyone from the US knows a friend who died from drugs.



Bullshit. I don't know anybody who's died from drug use.



Nope. Me neither.



Nope. Me neither.

There's about 9 in here right now and nope. nobody here either.

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If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 1:58:20 PM   
Kana


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I know like 30 so I even out the averages all by my own bad self and likely considerably skew them towards the morgue.

Shit. Of the crew I ran with in High (hehehehe) School, half are dead, most of the rest are doing long spells in prison and a very few of us made it out alive.
Almost no one made it out unscathed. Maybe two guys out of the lot of us.

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 8:36:22 PM   
stef


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Almost everyone from the US knows a friend who died from drugs.



Bullshit. I don't know anybody who's died from drug use.



Nope. Me neither.

I think Greta's knowledge of the US comes primarily from what she sees on television. She's so far removed from reality is isn't even funny anymore.

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 11:36:04 PM   
sexyred1


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Agreed. I am so pleased she is back posting again.

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 11:54:30 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
I think Greta's knowledge of the US comes primarily from what she sees on television. She's so far removed from reality is isn't even funny anymore.

Today in the news 14 people died in 15 hours in Chicago. Yea, it is from TV, just one mass killing too much, always on the headlines.

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Profile   Post #: 69
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 9/30/2015 11:56:35 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
Bullshit. I don't know anybody who's died from drug use.

It must be some how my circle of US friends that has friends all screwed in drugs then.

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 10/1/2015 12:01:45 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
As I expected, my explanation, and apparently other poster's explanations sailed right over your head, as usual.

I didn't insult her, I gave my opinion. I didn't kick her, I rationally stated that one doesn't make life decisions based on emotions. Logic is needed in life, not rose colored glasses.

If you equate honest opinions with meanness, then leave and start a group on another site.

I suggest you read more, post less and learn to live in the real world instead of your gothic romance novels.

Grow up and stop looking at the world through your limited views.


Let's look at what you said again.

quote:

I am astonished that an adult, in the army no less, would ask this question.


If you had just state to her that she should try to keep her emotions out of this decision making process, which would be just giving her the advice. Then it wouldn't be judgmental.

I mean, to me, saying what you said, was so not helpful when someone is freaking out because she's already in dip shit for what happened.

But of course you disagree and think and feel it's perfectly helpful, so it's like, impasse anyway.

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 10/1/2015 12:06:47 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
Agreed, it is better than North Korea; but in many respects, it is very much the same sort of regime.

I don't know why people compare us to North Korea.
Our people are living better lives than most in the world. I don't know why you feel I should feel discontent in my country when I feel like everything my government is spot on to the simple goal. Safe, clean, get EVERYONE out of poverty. I think we are getting close to this goal. Make sure everyone can afford roof, basic living, no child gets left behind for education and live and pursue their dreams. All positive goals.


From what I understand North Korea is doing the opposite of everything we are doing. Their people are starving.



< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/1/2015 12:08:12 AM >

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 10/1/2015 12:11:19 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

In Singapore, those that are rich enough (both male and female) employ 'runners' to find them a mate because (according to the program I saw), they are scared of emotional ties and usually wed their partners for other considerations.

I would love to watch this program by the way! Can I find it on YouTube? This is sooo funny! But anyway, emotional marriages has lead to alot of high divorce rates, so technically, they were just being pragmatic.

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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 10/1/2015 12:15:16 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

Nope. It's not allowed for a muslim woman to divorce her husband unless he allows it - and then she is often shunned by the rest of the community and her family.
Catholics can't get a divorce either unless they get papal dispensation. Catholics don't recognise divorce.

Except all these are non-applicable in my country or in yours. If a Muslim want to divorce, she can choose to divorce in civil courts. In Singapore, Muslim women have the freedom to go civil courts to get rid of their marriage. I believe it is the same in the UK and US.

quote:

But again, even in other asian cultures where arranged marriages are normal and even consensual, the choices are often for other reasons, not for love or what the female feels or wants.

As I said with modern ones, an arrange marriage cannot happen unless the child goes, "Ok Mom! Find me a Husband!" Then she starts looking. It's that simple. If she says, "Mom, I am finding my own husband." Then she will pick her own mate.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/1/2015 12:21:16 AM >

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 10/1/2015 12:17:07 AM   
epiphiny43


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Joined: 10/20/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Almost everyone from the US knows a friend who died from drugs.



Bullshit. I don't know anybody who's died from drug use.



Nope. Me neither.

Do you guys even Know any young people? Someone needs to take their nose out of the smart phone and get outdoors with your head up now and then.
Our not-large HS age community is losing at least one a year, half directly, half drug and alcohol car crashes. And Hawaii peak drug overdose rate is in the 24-44 age, not the kids. Opioids got the most. Total drug poisonings (Overdoses) exceed traffic accidents for state wide fatalities. Nobody knows any one who died in traffic either??
But anyone on the street much knows Ice is doing more damage to more people, and faster. They just get counted differently. The walking dead.

< Message edited by epiphiny43 -- 10/1/2015 12:19:23 AM >

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 10/1/2015 12:19:13 AM   
Dvr22999874


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In my opinion, I would feel safer walking anywhere in Singapore at any time, day or night, than many other cities throughout the world, especially in America....................and before you jump on me, yes, that includes some areas of some cities in Australia. It is many years since I was in North Korea, so I can't really comment on the situation there now but then, how many of those on line now can ?

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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: question for The Dom/masters - 10/1/2015 12:26:09 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

your culture is oppressed to a great degree so anything like this is hushed up and swept under the carpet out of sight because your government doesn't want the populace to find out that such things happen.

Coming from dating an SAS soldier before. I can tell you, your UK government has swept shitloads of horrifying things under the carpet too. Like seriously, which country does not do that?

I would say, possibly the most transparent country with their atrocities is the US. That's why they keep getting bad rep, but they were just being transparent and more honest than what other countries are doing.

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 10/1/2015 12:29:28 AM   
Greta75


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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: epiphiny43
Do you guys even Know any young people? Someone needs to take their nose out of the smart phone and get outdoors with your head up now and then.
Our not-large HS age community is losing at least one a year, half directly, half drug and alcohol car crashes. And Hawaii peak drug overdose rate is in the 24-44 age, not the kids. Opioids got the most. Total drug poisonings (Overdoses) exceed traffic accidents for state wide fatalities. Nobody knows any one who died in traffic either??
But anyone on the street much knows Ice is doing more damage to more people, and faster. They just get counted differently. The walking dead.

As I said, sometimes it's just the circle. It just happen that, every single American IRL friend I have, have tragic stories to tell me about some friend who died of drug overdose, and many of them have experimented with drugs in their youth too. So yes, it is my perception that drugs is a serious problem killing alot of unnecessary potential young people in the US. But I am surprise all of these folks never had a friend who had drug issues before. I guess people into kink are very responsible drug users or are drug free.

But who needs drugs when you're into kink really, when you are already getting so much endorphins from kink.

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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 10/1/2015 12:34:23 AM   
DaddySatyr


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I have not indulged in an illegal drug in 30 years (and I'm very proud of that) and, to be fair, I have been around concentrated groups of people that seem to be predisposed to drug use.

I grew up in NYC in the 70s. I was in a band in the 80s. I suffer from PTSD as do many of my brethren.

Leaving the "high risk categories" out of it, I come from a very large family (one of my grandfathers had 12 siblings). I can think of eight family members, right off the top of my head, that died as a direct result of drug abuse/addiction (I count alcohol as a drug).

Then, there were more than a few suicides in my high school classmates that were probably a result of the hopelessness that addicts experience, on a regular basis.

At least one person has suggested that marriage should not be hard work. Really? All relationships require "work". I am not advocating for arranged marriages. I think that element adds an extra hill to climb that makes the relationship even tougher, but to say that marriages aren't hard work makes me think that either the person that said it has never been married or their partner is a nominee for sainthood.



Michael


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RE: question for The Dom/masters - 10/1/2015 12:44:05 AM   
Greta75


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This marriage should be hard or easy part is subjective. I literally know long married couples in their 80's, who been together since their 20's, and are so sweet and loving, like husband still carry handbag for his wife, and holds her hands, super duper cute, who told me, it wasn't hard, they just sync. At the same time, you also get alot of advice from long time married ones, that to keep your marriage going for life, you have to prepare to keep forgiving your spouse for the rest of your life, it's really work. So I think it just depends on your fate, luck and how sync you are with the person you end up with.

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