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RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/6/2015 6:55:57 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
On the underwear thing, I have to go against the grain of some posters. I actually live in a very nice area and I see it in my neighborhood fairly frequently. However, I do see it with males more than females.

I didn't look up where you live, but, I live in one of the most expensive and desirable towns in the country, and, in an exclusive area of that specific town, where, truth be told, the police would be here in a split second the moment anyone was seen dressed that way. In fact, a homeless-looking guy was seen walking on the street about a year ago, and the entire neighborhood (which encompasses a large area because the current zoning alone here in Santa Clara County is 40 acres per residence) was at arms. The police surrounded the entrances and exits and had tire-puncture strips in the road. Turns out he was on foot, so, they packed all that stuff up unused.

Some people here know me, and have been to my home, so they know I speak the truth.

However, if you live in a city, then you can't control your neighborhood as well as we can, so, anyone can walk into your area without arousing suspicion, no matter how nice the neighborhood.

Still, it's extremely low class to show your underwear in public.
It's even lower class to decry when men look as a result.

But, now I understand much better - so I thank you for the information.
based on some of the responses from some of the others, I don't know how much more there is to learn, so, I'll just wait to see how the thread morphs.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I thought the thong straps showing with the low hip pants looked awful.

I agree. It's not even sexy, to me anyway.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Just observation but those female fads seem to have died down a bit. (Thank goodness.)

I didn't look you up, but I'm old enough to remember "leisure suits" and "polyester" print shirts.
Ug. Thank goodness we're past that affront.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I'll give a little on this one. Being straight, I'm not exactly looking at those areas of a woman's figure. I'm not trying to catch the crotch shot, so I probably don't see it if/when it happens.

Wow. Just wow.
Given the responses to date, I hadn't expected anyone to actually THINK about what I was saying.
It should be clear that I had thought about what OTHERS were saying (that is, the ones who had something to say); but, at this point, I hadn't expected all that much from the crowd (given the inherent lack of value in some of the posts).

So, I do appreciate that you actually reflected upon what was said, and that something stirred you to better understand the other side of the equation. I appreciate your thoughtful consideration.

Thinking about what you said, I think you hit upon something very important. Remember when I said we're like kittens, biologically programmed, at the instant we see a laser pointer, to pounce at it. Think about that? Laser pointers are, oh, how old? Not that old, right?

Yet, a kitten is biologically programmed to pounce on it (just as people are biologically programmed to pounce on unicorns, by the way).
Likewise, we men are biologically programmed to look at crotches and boobs and buns.

So, women take advantage of that (because they're biologically programmed to do that too!).
Just as the laser is a new method to elicit the biological programming of the cat, women use all sorts of NEW methods to elicit the same old biological response from the male.

And it works.
Women make themselves more interesting to men in myriad ways.
Many don't even realize what they're actually doing, it seems.

What's strange is that the women aren't clueless about many things, such as the point that has been aptly made that women are NOT clueless when it comes to fashion.

Yet, until you realize what's going on in the background, it's initially puzzling why women can't seem to control their clothes.

However, it's no longer puzzling when you realize that women are having all these garment malfunctions on purpose.

They will protest, and certainly they're not lifting their skirts in obvious presentation - but - in effect - they're constantly flashing their body parts in an attempt to be more INTERESTING to males, because they are biologically programmed themselves, to seek that attention.

They don't see it that way, of course. If you ask them (and I have), they will say they wear this or that because "it's fun" or "it's stylish"; but they're having all these garment malfunctions to make themselves more interesting. Men are pre-programmed to give them that attention, at least for the first reflexive moment.

After that initial reflexive moment, only then does culture and upbringing play a role, and most men won't stare; but all men will notice; and that's the programmed reflex the women are seeking (whether they realize this, or not).
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I do agree with the age bracket that someone mentioned. I'd definitely pinpoint all of the examples I see here as being under twenty-five.

I'd put the age a lot higher, but, I do agree that the older the women get, the better able they seem to get in controlling their myriad wardrobe-malfunction moments. Hence, there's a lot less panty shoved in our faces from the more mature women.

I must stress that I'm not at all asking women to NOT shove their panties in my face all day, every day.
By all means, keep doing it.

I'm just asking that they understand what it is that they're doing, why they're doing it, and, when men look, realize that the men are the ones that make sense since their actions don't belie their words.

The men are the ones making sense by being interested in a crotch, or an ass, or tits.
They don't hide that fact.

In fact, some women even decry the fact that the men don't hide that fact.
But the men are just being honest.
It's the women who may not even realize that their daily actions belie their protestations to the contrary.

< Message edited by crumpets -- 11/6/2015 7:42:10 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 321
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/6/2015 7:35:46 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Have you ever noticed that men on the beach walk around topless and they don't get a ticket? If women do so outside a clothing optional beach, they will be ticketed.


I realize this was a post from a while ago (seems like ages but it was probably just yesterday), but I have to agree with you on our prudish American double standard on what we (as a country) apparently consider "obscene".

I, for one, have been to almost every naturist resort in my area, and I've also done so where I used to live back east, so, I'm not prudish; but I'm not your average voter either.

Given that such laws are often at the standards of the local community, we unfortunately are at the mercy of the tyranny of the majority when it comes to who decides what's obscene.

BTW, I wish to be clear; I don't consider it obscene to be assaulted day in and day out by women's panties; I just think women don't do what they say nor say what they do, that's all.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 322
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/6/2015 8:32:49 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going to do this one first. Then I'm going to go back to the harder one.
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
I didn't look up where you live, but, I live in one of the most expensive and desirable towns in the country, and, in an exclusive area of that specific town, where, truth be told, the police would be here in a split second the moment anyone was seen dressed that way. In fact, a homeless-looking guy was seen walking on the street about a year ago, and the entire neighborhood (which encompasses a large area because the current zoning alone here in Santa Clara County is 40 acres per residence) was at arms. The police surrounded the entrances and exits and had tire-puncture strips in the road. Turns out he was on foot, so, they packed all that stuff up unused.

It wouldn't do you any good to look for my current location unless you did it from various threads. You'd get a general idea if you hit the Positive Experience section but I no longer list where I currently live on this site. It would be very dumb of me to do so.

quote:

Some people here know me, and have been to my home, so they know I speak the truth.

Yeah. Same here. I've had posters from here visit during the summer.

quote:

However, if you live in a city, then you can't control your neighborhood as well as we can, so, anyone can walk into your area without arousing suspicion, no matter how nice the neighborhood.

I do not live in the city. I live in the surrounding area. I happen to live in a gated community. One of the guests that was here over the summer did get spoken to by the gate guards when he was out talking a walk and I wasn't with him. They patrol this neighborhood every twenty minutes out of the hour.

(I do want to make a point of saying we didn't choose this house because of the gated community. It's just how it turned out.)

quote:

Still, it's extremely low class to show your underwear in public.
It's even lower class to decry when men look as a result.

Can we at least get to the understanding that I *don't* intentionally show my underwear in public? If there's one female on this thread that you can believe doesn't do it on purpose, it should probably be me.

quote:

But, now I understand much better - so I thank you for the information.
based on some of the responses from some of the others, I don't know how much more there is to learn, so, I'll just wait to see how the thread morphs.

When I address the other post of yours, you might want to get yourself a comfy chair.

quote:

I agree. It's not even sexy, to me anyway.

On this, we agree. It's really not my style and I really don't understand the appeal of it.

quote:

I didn't look you up, but I'm old enough to remember "leisure suits" and "polyester" print shirts.
Ug. Thank goodness we're past that affront.

I'm old. Enough said.

quote:

Wow. Just wow.
Given the responses to date, I hadn't expected anyone to actually THINK about what I was saying.
It should be clear that I had thought about what OTHERS were saying (that is, the ones who had something to say); but, at this point, I hadn't expected all that much from the crowd (given the inherent lack of value in some of the posts).

I think it's reasonable. Straight women just aren't looking at other women that way. I'm also lacking the understanding about the big deal about boobs. The only thing I'm thinking about if I see boobs, as a sadist, I'm thinking pin cushion for needles. Otherwise, I don't have any kinds of thoughts about other women's breasts, with the general exception of cup size being big and doesn't it hurt the other person's back.

quote:

So, I do appreciate that you actually reflected upon what was said, and that something stirred you to better understand the other side of the equation. I appreciate your thoughtful consideration.

In case you haven't noticed, I don't mind telling people the truth.

quote:

Thinking about what you said, I think you hit upon something very important. Remember when I said we're like kittens, biologically programmed, at the instant we see a laser pointer, to pounce at it. Think about that? Laser pointers are, oh, how old? Not that old, right?

Yet, a kitten is biologically programmed to pounce on it (just as people are biologically programmed to pounce on unicorns, by the way).
Likewise, we men are biologically programmed to look at crotches and boobs and buns.

Kittens are biologically programmed to hunt for food. It's why they pounce on moving objects, sleep the way they do, and a number of other things. Laser pointers aside, you can get the same reaction from them in multiple ways.

I am poly, but I am not a unicorn hunter if you are using the term in the kink/poly context. To put it simply, I like men.

quote:

So, women take advantage of that. It seems they're even clueless that this is what they're doing, but, certainly the point has been made that women are NOT clueless when it comes to fashion. Therefore, it's puzzling why women can't seem to control their clothes.

I'm horrible at fashion. Somewhere in this mess, somebody mentioned that many women can identify brands of clothing. I can't. On the other hand, I can name every person who made every leather kink toy in my house, ways to tell you how I know who made it, what the general reviews of the item are, (not the items that have been home-made for me, of course) and probably more stuff than you could think of. Ask me who made any of the dresses in my closet and I'll have nothing.

quote:

However, it's no longer puzzling when you realize that women are having all these garment malfunctions on purpose. They will protest, and certainly they're not lifting their skirts in obvious presentation - but - in effect - they're constantly flashing their body parts in an attempt to be INTERESTING to males, because they are biologically programmed themselves, to seek that attention.

Not all of us. Vanilla clothes? Not in the least. Leather clothes I wear because I'm a leather person and even where you live, you should know that's different than being a leather fetishist. (Your city hosts IMsL for crying out loud.)

quote:

They don't see it that way, of course. If you ask them (and I have), they will say they wear this or that because "it's fun" or "it's stylish"; but they're having all these garment malfunctions to make themselves more interesting. Men are pre-programmed to give them that attention, at least for the first reflexive moment.

I have sat here and, to the best of my ability, tried to remember when I had the last garment malfunction that was done on purpose. I can't. I could tell you about a few that happened by accident.

I am not here to be interesting. My day to day life would probably bore some people to tears.

quote:

After that initial reflexive moment, only then does culture and upbringing play a role, and most men won't stare; but all men will notice; and that's the programmed reflex the women are seeking (whether they realize this, or not).

You know, you should talk to MP. He gets a kick out of the fact that I'm the *LAST* person to know that men notice me based on being female. Being noticed as a top is another matter.

quote:

I'd put the age a lot higher, but, I do agree that the older the women get, the better able they seem to get in controlling their myriad wardrobe-malfunction moments. Hence, there's a lot less panty shoved in our faces from the more mature women.

I based my assessment from people who live in my neighborhood. Right here on my street. One of the males (two doors down from me) is one of the most polite kids (adult but age range) kids in the world. I just wish he'd pull up his pants.

quote:

I must stress that I'm not at all asking women to NOT shove their panties in my face all day, every day.
By all means, keep doing it.

Do you even realize how *few* people on this site have seen my panties? It's only the number of people I've had a sexual relationship with. I've had more folks who have seen my breasts at private parties because there's been a hot tub involved and a privacy fence.

quote:

I'm just asking that they understand what it is that they're doing, why they're doing it, and, when men look, realize that the men are the ones that make sense since their actions don't belie their words.

This doesn't register with me because I am female and pretty much demisexual. I'm not big on being attracted to the male physical form unless I'm sleeping with him. I've done celibacy twice for periods of a year. If you're basing this on physical looks alone, it's not going to happen.

quote:

The men are the ones making sense by being interested in a crotch, or an ass, or tits.
They don't hide that fact.

Doesn't work that way for me. Don't know what to tell you.

quote:

It's the women who may not even realize that their daily actions belie their protestations to the contrary.

Let me know exactly which 'daily actions' I'm doing. I would really love to know.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 323
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/6/2015 8:42:39 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
...the fact that people are saying he is creepy, unethical etc etc, he aint listening. Just more self justification, not arguments.


I'll use small words ... as apparently I need to repeat, just for your reading comprehension skills to catch up with the thread, the fact that I explained how, when I think the way you do, I understand both sides of why you do and say what it is that you do and say (you being plural and general).

thanks to you, I understand why, almost certainly, better than you do yourself.

Thats clearly a lie, bullshit, you only have the ability to fool your self.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 324
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/6/2015 9:33:18 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
As for being blinded by fear, I am sure I met more people from this board than you ever will,

Remember, the "gal" in the first post of this thread was receiving requests at the rate of one a minute or so, while the "guy" got a single spam, after a few weeks.
So, while I forget what your profile looks like, if you don't have a similar 1000:1 ratio, then you'd have to be damn ugly (lemme check your profile)...ok I checked... you don't show your face (which is fine) but that picture of you crawling around on the floor on all fours shows your body in good shape so I'll assume you're not even close to ugly (ok ... I spent another ten seconds ... you do show your face on your Google profile with that tasteful black satin dress and metallic necklace ... so yeah ... you're gorgeous.

FUNNY THING: As an aside, when I finally bothered to look up your profile just now, and a few moments ago, I looked up UllrsIshtar's profile, you're both stunningly gorgeous (even your dogs and husbands are handsome), which, because I'm male, tends to "soften" my responses to you (not the husband - or you - just the dog ... :).

I don't mind playing hardball with the guys, but, I shouldn't have looked up your (or her) profiles after all this time not bothering, because now I'm gonna tend to have to fight my tendency to say what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear. I'll even take you more seriously, believe it or not; it's just weird when you know just a tiny bit about someone, you tend to start liking them. (Don't worry ... I won't like you that much to get out of my chair, or spend more than a few seconds figuring out what you're about.)
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
I'm not worried about meeting people, I just don't want to meet people who creep me out

Me neither.
Anyone who wants to meet me at my house, only has to ask.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
I don't want them to look up where I live, I don't want them to have my real name, nothing. Everything else would be reckless and inviting trouble.

I hope the profile name with the handsome light-skinned green-eyed brown-bearded guy is just a moniker then (and I presume it is because I hope you wouldn't be that dumb to use your real name).
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
For somebody who's so paranoid about CS having any info on you, you don't seem to mind getting everybody elses info...

What are you talking about?
I don't remember ever LOOKING at your profile until just now, and only because I wanted to verify my suspicion that you're pretty enough to have hundreds of men ogling after you, so, your comment that you've met more men than I have women doesn't really make sense as anything other than an assumed fait accompli.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Odd how you being "careful" and using proxies is perfectly OK, however if somebody else feels the same way about you getting their data, we're paranoid. There is a logic disconnect.

Unless and until I understood that you work more off of fear than logic, I wouldn't have been able to even UNDERSTAND that comment.
But, since I know you fear technology, among other things, giving your name away, that's why you fear the fact that your email headers can give you away.
Guess what?

Those same email headers can give ME away also!
I'm not using any different mail server than you are.

So, we're in the same boat (so to speak) when it comes to sending email and whether or not people can guess where they came from.
By way of analogy, the mouse is in the kitchen but so are we.
You're standing on the chair wildly swinging the broom, and I have the mousetrap in my hands ready to put it on the floor.
That's the only difference.

< Message edited by crumpets -- 11/6/2015 10:11:48 PM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 325
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/6/2015 9:47:25 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
It wouldn't do you any good to look for my current location unless you did it from various threads.


Jesus. You (women) constantly take everything hugely out of context. Sheesh.
I guess I have to be extra specially crystal clear whenever I even mention that I looked anywhere other than this thread for information.

What I meant was you mentioned that YOU saw a lot more men's boxers where you live.
I was curious why that was so (since boxers just don't exist anywhere near where I live).

My very first thought was, of course, that "I" live in an exclusive location where the smallest house is something like six or seven thousand square feet and we have 40-acre zoning, while you "probably" live in a vastly different type of location (such as a big city) where people can walk by your house and not be noticed by the police as being unusual.

The only people who are on my street are (a) the owners and their guests, and (b) the workers who maintain their properties and vineyards.

Let's be extra specially clear here about this silly stalking thing. I really don't care that much about you to bother to spend even the fifteen seconds to "look you up".

Worse, as what tends to happen if I did, I'd start to like you (because we like people who are (a) intelligent, and (b) who have something to offer of value by way of opinions, blogs, ideas, etc.

And we don't want that! :)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 326
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/6/2015 10:25:44 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
I find the whole topic intriguing, and I've learned a lot from the women here.
In fact, I can actually put myself in their shoes, and when I do, I can understand why they feel the way they do.

It's actually extremely interesting, because I can see both sides of their contradiction, whereas most of the women here can't see the other side of their own feelings and actions.

I'm beginning to realize it's not purposefully duplicitous the incongruous statements by the women here. I actually think they don't even realize the humor inherent of what they say contrasted by what they actually do.

The worst problem is that the women here feel perfectly at ease threatening a guy with legal ramifications for merely reading their email headers, while they themselves, shove their panties in the guys' faces day in and day out and think nothing of the inherent contradictions.

Well, I asked on the other reply but I'll do it again. Can you tell me what it is that I actually *DO* that makes me deserve to have a stalker?

I did not feel perfectly at ease about any of it. I put myself through a lot of hell because I was worried about innocent people. I was worried about my husband's career, the fact that I was a poly/kinky person and lived on a military post. I was even worried about my stalker's family because they didn't deserve to lose their medical benefits if a conviction on stalking was going to make him lose his military status. I was worried about my kink community, how I would try to handle the whole thing without outing anyone, the people who saw certain things happen and how it was going to effect them... You can't tell me this was a casual decision I made. All of that and some stuff you obviously don't understand has much to do with why I didn't report sooner.

If you haven't figured out by now that I'm probably way the hell more truthful than you are, you're not nearly as smart as I give you credit for being. To the best of my ability, I will be as honest with you about this subject as I can while still abiding by ToS of this place.

I really did try everything else first. I am not exactly stupid. If there had been anything else that I could have possibly come up with as an alternative, I didn't have it. I tried waiting it out, hoping the problem would go away, trying to ignore it, moved across the country, blocking access, blocking phone numbers, stopped going to public events that he would show up to even though the kink community had banned him from the group, and a whole bunch more. The only thing I ever wanted from the individual was to leave me and my family alone. A decent man would do that but he didn't.

I was a poly, sadistic, actively kinky individual who was living on a military post with a dungeon in my basement. Exactly how well did you think that was going to go? One of the items that I have on file is from the clergyman (at the time) on post because my stalker lied and told him that he had built me a saferoom in my basement. It was crap trying to get the military to investigate my home. Do you want to know what was really in my basement? A hell of a lot of BDSM equipment. Even though I'm a dependent rather than active duty military, they kind of frown on that.

I did some things right in that first six month time period and I did some things wrong. The biggest wrong was that I didn't report what was happening to me and I carry a lot of guilt for that. If I could change it I would but I can't. I don't harp on people that don't report, either. I do not believe in the 'cops or it doesn't count' brigade. It doesn't make things more real, less real, or anything else. None of the facts changed between the day before I reported and the day after.

The things I did right, I kind of lucked into. Some of them were kind of 50/50.

One mistake I made was when I told the other person to leave me alone from that point on, my witness to the conversation should not have been my husband. It should have been an independent third party who was willing to (at minimum) sign a statement or (better) willing to appear in court.

Something I did right. I started keeping documentation. Direct contacts, emails he was sending to other people, records of stuff that was coming to my house... Just about anything that I might need later 'just in case'. Phone records, emails, things coming to my house, or to third parties.

I got it right when I sent the email stating I wanted no other contact. Your 'cease' statement should not include any kinds of apologies, references to possibly being friends later, or any other window the stalker can take advantage of.

Once I did that, there was no more contact on my end. Returning contact to the stalker can potentially invalidate your cease statement. That includes returning any gifts that you might be sent. A special mention on gifts. If they are of a sexual/romantic nature, the powers that be classify that differently. (That is their job, not yours.) I received a strap-on, perfume, money, and a gift card at my nail salon. Those were categorized differently. KEEP THE CANCELLED POSTAGE.

Any kind of verification that you are being followed in public.

One of the things I got horribly wrong was missing out on the six month time frame window, so some things timed out.

I should have reported in the state where the majority of the incidents occurred.

I should have accepted the original offer from my husband's boss about using those military channels from the very beginning.

I should have taken more screen shots.

I did keep all of the threats to sue the local kink community. I was on the board at the time when they reorganized there. My stalker didn't know.

I did not listen when they said turn over everything. I did not give copies from folks who were kinky who were third parties that kept getting contacted. That was a decision of mine because not all of those people are out and I didn't want them to have to deal with that.

****

quote:


Let's be extra specially clear here about this silly stalking thing. I really don't care that much about you to bother to spend even the fifteen seconds to "look you up".

The location on my profile reads Delta Junction, Alaska. I am currently sitting over 4,000 miles away from there. Didn't matter. My stalker has traveled here, too.

And, don't flatter yourself. I'm not worried about you looking me up. The biggest reason that I don't mention my town is because my stalker is on this thread.

Oh, did I mention I'm not entirely doing this for you. I have eight years worth of posts here that have mentioned that not everything is for the OP of a thread. You never know who is going to find some piece of information that they need as some form of education.

The reason you think the stalking thing is silly is because it hasn't happened to you.





_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 327
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/7/2015 6:35:04 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Re clothing for females under 25. This shit is all they sell.

My daughter went to a Rudolf Steiner school and then a Quaker one. Shorts had to be below fingertips.
Sounds easy, right? Wrong. She spent five fucking years without a pair of shorts because all they sell for juniors are hot pants. Even the Penney school catalog didn't have a pair of shorts that fit the rules.

She lived in capris and cut off jeans and suffered from the heat as a result.

She's now just about 25 and doesn't fit the junior stores anymore so it's easier to buy clothing. However, go look at the stores that sell to this age and size range and see what's available. Look at venus.com and forever 21 for starters.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 328
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/7/2015 7:56:09 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline 		EDIT: I wrote a ton, but deleted it just now because of this next sentence!
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
The biggest reason that I don't mention my town is because my stalker is on this thread.

Oh....um... er... I don't know what to say.
That's one hell of a surprise.
I'm speechless with that bombshell you just dropped.

If that's the case, then I'm outta here ('cuz what we say can change things).

If I had known that....

Next time, just send a sentence in the CS mail system telling me that...

< Message edited by crumpets -- 11/7/2015 8:37:02 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 329
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/8/2015 1:47:04 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		LP has remarkable balls to be able to have stated all she did. Most people dont go into their "stalker" misery the way she has tried to explain to you.
I'd like to see all stalkers be locked away in a padded cell with wrap around jackets.
Not out of fear, but anger and disgust at their ugly excuses for doing what they do to the people they are stalking.






_____________________________

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(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
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Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 330
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/12/2015 6:22:07 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
LP has remarkable balls to be able to have stated all she did. Most people dont go into their "stalker" misery the way she has tried to explain to you.

Yes. I apologize for my prior reactions to the contrary.
As always, truth is the daughter of time.
The reflection of my actions took time, and someone to point out my errors, in a direct matter-of-fact non-combative believable way.

To that end, I received multiple collarspace mails, and I am now better acquainted with the specific situation.

Some things, such as these, are just better left for private communications, and a particular legal/emotional/criminal situation is clearly one of them. So I, for one, will not discuss the merits of any specific stalking issue further.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
I'd like to see all stalkers be locked away in a padded cell with wrap around jackets.
Not out of fear, but anger and disgust at their ugly excuses for doing what they do to the people they are stalking.

Agreed. Belatedly. ( mea culpa )

In general, for bona-fide stalking cases, this is as it should be.

A legally valid stalker is a threat, and a threat is an imminent danger, which nobody should have to put up with, no matter who it is (male or female or in between) doing the stalking or being the stalkee.

In the past few days, I've undergone an epiphany of sorts. Based on about a half dozen CS mails during the interim between my last post and this one, I also (much) more clearly see now why many reasonable people saw my stated actions, stated earlier in this thread, as the beginning stages of creepy stalking.

I apologize for not having seen it that way at all at the time that I had written and described those actions.
I was just plain wrong.

It's interesting how some people here can change a mind, simply by their sage advice.
Of course, it also takes a certain amount of personal self reflection taking that advice into account (otherwise, the advice would be for naught).

I learned something else in the CS-mail-spurred personal-reflection process:
A more powerful ... superior mind ... can miraculously change another strong person's mind.
That's true dominance! The power to literally change someone else's mind!

Back on the original topic, here is the GUI for the automated email process for when someone joins Collarspace.

Note: I think the picture upload features may not be working, or, maybe it's just my Tor Browser blocking display, so, I hope you can see this screenshot.

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 331
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/12/2015 6:45:13 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		Your GUI is interesting - I don't have that at my end.

The search has been there forever but only works for the US zip codes.
In fact, when you try to select your location there are only the US states listed - nothing else.
Not even an option for 'Outside the USA'.

I don't have a "Newest Local Users" button.
I also don't have the 2 check-boxes at the bottom either.


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 332
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/12/2015 7:41:11 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
As for being blinded by fear, I am sure I met more people from this board than you ever will,

Remember, the "gal" in the first post of this thread was receiving requests at the rate of one a minute or so, while the "guy" got a single spam, after a few weeks.
So, while I forget what your profile looks like, if you don't have a similar 1000:1 ratio, then you'd have to be damn ugly (lemme check your profile)...ok I checked... you don't show your face (which is fine) but that picture of you crawling around on the floor on all fours shows your body in good shape so I'll assume you're not even close to ugly (ok ... I spent another ten seconds ... you do show your face on your Google profile with that tasteful black satin dress and metallic necklace ... so yeah ... you're gorgeous.

FUNNY THING: As an aside, when I finally bothered to look up your profile just now, and a few moments ago, I looked up UllrsIshtar's profile, you're both stunningly gorgeous (even your dogs and husbands are handsome), which, because I'm male, tends to "soften" my responses to you (not the husband - or you - just the dog ... :).

I don't mind playing hardball with the guys, but, I shouldn't have looked up your (or her) profiles after all this time not bothering, because now I'm gonna tend to have to fight my tendency to say what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear. I'll even take you more seriously, believe it or not; it's just weird when you know just a tiny bit about someone, you tend to start liking them. (Don't worry ... I won't like you that much to get out of my chair, or spend more than a few seconds figuring out what you're about.)
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
I'm not worried about meeting people, I just don't want to meet people who creep me out

Me neither.
Anyone who wants to meet me at my house, only has to ask.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
I don't want them to look up where I live, I don't want them to have my real name, nothing. Everything else would be reckless and inviting trouble.

I hope the profile name with the handsome light-skinned green-eyed brown-bearded guy is just a moniker then (and I presume it is because I hope you wouldn't be that dumb to use your real name).
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
For somebody who's so paranoid about CS having any info on you, you don't seem to mind getting everybody elses info...

What are you talking about?
I don't remember ever LOOKING at your profile until just now, and only because I wanted to verify my suspicion that you're pretty enough to have hundreds of men ogling after you, so, your comment that you've met more men than I have women doesn't really make sense as anything other than an assumed fait accompli.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Odd how you being "careful" and using proxies is perfectly OK, however if somebody else feels the same way about you getting their data, we're paranoid. There is a logic disconnect.

Unless and until I understood that you work more off of fear than logic, I wouldn't have been able to even UNDERSTAND that comment.
But, since I know you fear technology, among other things, giving your name away, that's why you fear the fact that your email headers can give you away.
Guess what?

Those same email headers can give ME away also!
I'm not using any different mail server than you are.

So, we're in the same boat (so to speak) when it comes to sending email and whether or not people can guess where they came from.
By way of analogy, the mouse is in the kitchen but so are we.
You're standing on the chair wildly swinging the broom, and I have the mousetrap in my hands ready to put it on the floor.
That's the only difference.



Actually I have no moniker with my husband, and I never said I met more guys from here than you met women, I said PEOPLE, you know as in male and female, nothing to do with how I look or anything, just being in the same area and meeting up for a drink and a casual chat.

Since you understand LP's history now, you know why I could help her? Because the same thing happened to me, slightly different details and more long distance harassment. I had made the mistake of replying to a message with my private account, the account that was tied to my LinkedIn and FB, at that time I had a long online friendship with the person who would become my stalker, no reason to distrust him, he seemed like a nice guy, a bit socially awkward until we had a disagreement on the N word and I told him I don't feel comfortable being friends with a person who uses it, then my life just went to pieces. Lost my job as he outed me (not the reason they gave officially but it was strongly recommended that I resign), hubby got calls to work, the police got anonymous calls, different departments, so we had the police in the house searching for the "drug lab", the "brothel", you name it. Animal protection as he reported my animals as abused, I unplugged the phone at night to stop harassment calls, so he called the fire brigade and claimed he was on the phone with me and all of a sudden I screamed "Smoke" and then the phone went dead, they almost kicked our door down in the wee hours of the morning...

That's why I know all about the burner phones, because that's what he used, now in Europe you usually can't just buy the burner phones that easy, they are tied to a name and or an address, most places require IDs or address verification. Our police and fire brigade didn't know how easy it is to get them in the US. When they finally got active and in touch with the cops in the US, the phone numbers were "dead", yeah they could track them to Radio Shacks, and such, but he had always paid with cash and waited until he activated them, so no CCTV footage. I had some old emails tied to a Verizon account and said "I think it's him!" You know, that's not enough evidence to get the police to act...

There were a couple of other incidents too, you know like him checking out where I work, then checking some of the major clients of the company and contacting them too, not just outing me, mixing a few facts with a lot of fiction, if there is a bit of truth in it, the fiction works well... And of course since I wasn't in physical danger, the calls all came from the US, it wasn't that much of a priority.

Let me tell you a bit about that time, any idea how it is to have your complete sleep pattern disturbed, to be afraid to go to bed because you know you'll have nightmares? When a phone or a door bell ringing makes you shake and get panic attacks because you worry he found something else to harass you, you keep asking yourself what you did to deserve it, this feeling of complete and utter effing helplessness, that you are a sitting duck....

Then you get the conflicting information, to sort of just wait until it blows over, but it doesn't...

You move, oh well, yeah, not that easy in the UK, as you got to pay bills, council tax and all that, so you happen to be on the electorial roll, somebody can access that info online for not a lot of money, of course they have to pay for it but a pre-paid card bought as a gift from a supermarket will do just fine with a phoney name, try and trace that?

You know what an effort it was to get them to actually investigate the numbers as they weren't UK numbers? Yeah, no physical danger for me. The questions I was asked, you know what I did to "encourage" him, if I made him promises (no), if I wanted presents from him (no), if he's a spurned lover (no).
The police actually telling me that I should give them a damned reason why he does it, nobody goes through that trouble without a reason and why don't I fess up what I did wrong...

Strangely enough I developed a nice stomach ulcer and lost a hell lot of weight not by choice or a diet, unless you consider a nervous stomach and throwing up as soon as you managed to eat a bit a diet. You know losing weight to the point where you don't have periods anymore...

And the same time you are dealing with calls from your family, they are frantic because they were contacted and told you're in a hospital in life threatening condition... It's a lot of fun especially if you know your dad has a heart condition...

The first few things, you deal with it, after a while you can't deal with them anymore, you turn into a nervous wreck and you wake up every morning fearing the worst.

It's been years ago, the situation eventually got sorted, but you know from time to time I wake up screaming, or something just triggers a panic attack, I still screen all my calls.

You know what a toll this took on my other half? Luckily he was very understanding, partially due to having gone through something like that only in a milder form with a woman who had a crush on him. We usually don't talk about it, but he once said he felt helpless because there was nothing he could do to protect me and he was so worried because I was physically and mentally going to pieces, cutting myself because that pain was "real" and it distracted me from the fear...

And if that shocks you, I haven't even told you most of what happened.

I don't consider a guy looking up my profile a stalker, I don't even check who looks at my profile. I don't scream stalker if a guy tries to chat me up or is trying to follow me from one pub to another. You have to really cross some lines and yeah, most of the info you think you found about me, have fun with it and try to find me under that name.

As for the stalker, turned out I was just one in a long line of people he felt "spurned by" and who he decided to honour with his "attention" - by pure coincidence I found out that he pulled the same trick on a woman in Denver. On boards he always pretended to know next to nothing about computers and modern technology, so nobody ever thought it was him...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 333
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/12/2015 7:51:32 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Btw for clarification, when I say "anonymous calls" it's because he used a burner phone and gave a phoney name, should have made that clear. Due to the phone number showing up and him claiming that he is so concerned about the legal violations (which were BS) that he calls even from the US, they took it seriously. Ya know, a long distance call, and why would somebody call with a real number they *could* trace if it's not really serious... If they would have traced it the first time, they would have found out, but again, since there was no "physical threat" it took a lot of wasting their time and harassing me, it was calling the fire brigade that actually cost money that finally got them to do it...

You know how frustrating it is when they first put everything down to "pranks"?


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 334
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/12/2015 10:14:48 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
Your GUI is interesting - I don't have that at my end.

Hmmmmmm... I don't remember seeing it before, myself, at least not that way, but I just checked again, and there it is.
Dunno. I'm using Tor, which disables a lot of javascript and canvass images, etc., so, maybe it's a quirk of my using Tor?
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
The search has been there forever but only works for the US zip codes.
In fact, when you try to select your location there are only the US states listed - nothing else.
Not even an option for 'Outside the USA'.

That sounds like a disadvantage, but, I just went through three pages of the newest-users lists, and, well, I give about 1 out of 20 being even somewhat believable.

So, methinks you're not actually missing much.
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
I don't have a "Newest Local Users" button.
I also don't have the 2 check-boxes at the bottom either.

I seem to remember that the GUI used to be on a different place on the home page also.
So, maybe the Collarspace team is working on it?
Dunno.

I did look at the alt.com link that clicking on the fake at at the top right brings you to, and they say the following in the fine print:
Persons appearing in photographs may not be actual members
Other data for illustrative purposes only

What I gather that really means is that the ads are fake.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 335
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/12/2015 10:24:44 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

Your GUI is interesting - I don't have that at my end.

The search has been there forever but only works for the US zip codes.
In fact, when you try to select your location there are only the US states listed - nothing else.
Not even an option for 'Outside the USA'.

I don't have a "Newest Local Users" button.
I also don't have the 2 check-boxes at the bottom either.




If you go to mobile interface, you get the nearest local users button, so I tried that out and apparently I'm near Canada, mine are all in Ontario, oddly enough that's one city I've never been to, Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver yes, but never ever Ontario....

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 336
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/12/2015 10:24:51 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		I've tried CS with IE, FF and Tor - and I don't get what you have.

As for 'local' new users, it would be nice to have that option.
Whether they are real or not is something for the observer to ascertain for themselves.


As for the Ads.... they are NOT the real people on Alt.
The fact that it states it is for illustrative purposes only says it all.
So why you'd want to click on an advert beats me.


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 337
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/12/2015 10:30:20 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
If you go to mobile interface, you get the nearest local users button, so I tried that out and apparently I'm near Canada, mine are all in Ontario, oddly enough that's one city I've never been to, Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver yes, but never ever Ontario....

I couldn't use that interface.
I just hate the way it wastes 90% of my screen with a black background and boring flat and narrow smart-phone-like set of tiles.
It's one of the main reasons I don't and won't use Windows 8/10 - the GUI is soooo boring!


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 338
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/12/2015 10:45:39 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Actually I have no moniker with my husband, and I never said I met more guys from here than you met women, I said PEOPLE, you know as in male and female, nothing to do with how I look or anything, just being in the same area and meeting up for a drink and a casual chat.

I just looked in my cache and I see the picture I was talking about with you and your husband. If you want, I'll pull it out and send you that picture which I was talking about. Just ping me in my CS mail and I'll be glad to send it (CS mail won't have any headers for me to spy on you!).

If you didn't want that picture of you and hubby on the net, you'll want to do a reverse Google search (or Tineye) and find out where I had gotten it from as I don't remember where it came from. (It's you with a bit of cat-like face paint and him with a thin mustache and Viking-like beard and piercingly blue eyes). Otherwise, I'll just delete it.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Since you understand LP's history now, you know why I could help her?

I'm glad you could help her.
Bear in mind that a few people wrote to me in support of her, so, she should be happy to know she has people looking out for her interests, even if they do so behind the scenes.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Lost my job as he outed me (not the reason they gave officially but it was strongly recommended that I resign)
...hubby got calls to work, the police got anonymous calls, different departments, so we had the police in the house searching for the "drug lab", the "brothel", you name it.

Yikes. There are similar elements.
If only I knew.
I would have been more sensitized.
I was clueless.
I apologize.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
That's why I know all about the burner phones

Here in the US, you can make any 911 call look like it comes from any phone number you want.
It's called "caller id spoofing".
It's super easy.

It's so simple, that, well, it's creepy how easy it is to call someone and make the phone number be someone elses' phone number.

You have to pay for this feature, but I know all about it (I've tested it out as they allow you to make free calls for a few minutes, as part of the demo to get you to buy their service). It works.

Take a look at this web site, for example: http://www.spoofcard.com/

So, while it's NOT illegal to spoof your phone number (at least last I checked it wasn't), it "is" illegal to call 911 (for all the obvious reasons) using that spoofed phone number.

The burner phone isn't even necessary, although good to throw in the river if the police start sniffing the electronic trail working backward.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
There were a couple of other incidents too, you know like him checking out where I work, then checking some of the major clients of the company and contacting them too, not just outing me, mixing a few facts with a lot of fiction, if there is a bit of truth in it, the fiction works well...

I apologize for not having been sensitized to the havoc that a stalker could wreak, especially on "our" lives, which are almost certainly to be misunderstood by our local community of vanillas.

If I had any of the experiences you and others have had, I'd think differently.
I don't think any woman has ever cared enough about me to bother to stalk me on a personal level such as what you are outlining.
I guess that's a good thing.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
that you are a sitting duck....

Again, I apologize for not realizing the magnitude of these types of events.
That no woman has ever bothered to stalk me played a large role in my thought process.
That others here have clearly been stalked, has recently allowed me to realize that things are way different on the other side.
I apologize for being insensitive.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
You move, oh well, yeah, not that easy in the UK, as you got to pay bills, council tax and all that, so you happen to be on the electorial roll, somebody can access that info online for not a lot of money, of course they have to pay for it but a pre-paid card bought as a gift from a supermarket will do just fine with a phoney name, try and trace that?

In the USA, if you own a house, you're public fodder.
Likewise if you register to vote for a certain party (I'm not sure how that works) or if you contribute to a campaign fund.
Plus, here in California, I'm told anyone can fork out ten bucks to trace your license plate at the DMV (I never tried it though).
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
It's been years ago, the situation eventually got sorted, but you know from time to time I wake up screaming, or something just triggers a panic attack, I still screen all my calls.

I'm sorry.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
And if that shocks you, I haven't even told you most of what happened.

Oh my. Oh my. Again, I just didn't realize.
I miss a lot of social cues. I do. I apologize.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
most of the info you think you found about me, have fun with it and try to find me under that name.

I'm not gonna try. It was just a google (or duckduckgo or disconnect.me?) search that came up with a C... B... name and profile pictures.
Everyone should google themselves and see what pops up.
When I google myself, I'm shocked at what I find.
Stuff I did from 20 years ago is on the web.
Sheesh. I did that? With her? Ug. What was I thinking?
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
As for the stalker, turned out I was just one in a long line of people he felt "spurned by" and who he decided to honour with his "attention" - by pure coincidence I found out that he pulled the same trick on a woman in Denver. On boards he always pretended to know next to nothing about computers and modern technology, so nobody ever thought it was him...

Whew. That rules me out then!
I pretend that I know something about computers!

< Message edited by crumpets -- 11/12/2015 11:01:05 AM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 339
RE: What do senders do that they can so quickly POUNCE ... - 11/12/2015 10:55:17 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
I've tried CS with IE, FF and Tor - and I don't get what you have.

Hmmmmmmmmm... that's odd.
I can't explain the difference you see versus what I see, but I will say that I don't remember seeing that GUI before.
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
As for 'local' new users, it would be nice to have that option.
Whether they are real or not is something for the observer to ascertain for themselves.

I give it a 1 out of 20, but, that won't stop guys from sending 20 out of 20 CS mails, one to each one.
I wonder at what number the spam-warning kicks in?
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
As for the Ads.... they are NOT the real people on Alt.
The fact that it states it is for illustrative purposes only says it all.

Just for the record, I never believed those ads.
It was explained that it's illegal to use real ads anyway.
So, what they apparently do is jumble stuff about, where every once in a while, the picture "is" of someone who has a profile, but, nothing else matches. Yet, 99% of the time, the picture is a stock porn photo.

What I would be upset at though, is if I saw "my" picture from my profile being used in these "jumbled" ads.
Certainly I have seen, every once in a while, people who are here, on those profile pictures (rare, but it happens).
I'll try to screen shot the next time I see that and send it to the person to see if they know about it.

We all should do the same.
That way, we'd at least know that our profile pictures are being used in what amounts to an ad campaign.
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
So why you'd want to click on an advert beats me.

I think you meant this as "why would anyone want to click on an advert" and I'd have to agree with you....
Except ....

They must work on someone.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 340
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