quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

I do not seek nor demand anyone be obligated in any fashion to reply.

I simply stated that to not for the reasons stated was a cop-out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

My point is simply, those sending out the emails have that implied reasonable expectation of courtesy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather
But the fact remains, when two or more people engage in social interaction, we kinda expect it. Please and Thank You, Hello and Goodbye, basic polite mannerisms. The fact that we don't get them (more often than not), doesn't change the fact that at least one side expects this.

I completely get what you're saying, I really do.

No doubt, you have enough decorum to not spam every woman within a 500/1000/2000/3000/5000-mile radius of you who has clearly stated that she is not interested in engaging in long-distance interactions.
No doubt, you don't target women whose age range and/or other preferences you don't meet by any stretch of the imagination.
No doubt, you don't message women whose profiles say they are already in a committed relationship and/or are only here for the forums.
No doubt, you think that by saying hello, good day, or some other impersonal pleasantry should entitle you to a hollaback, even if your stats (or profile picture or profile text or Interests list, etc.) is not in line with what a woman is seeking.
No doubt, you take the time to read through profiles to assess the likelihood of making a suitable match, and consider yourself a promising contender if only you were given a fighting chance, right?

But. A great majority of men aren't like you. If you truly want to convey that you are special and a cut above the rest, than your introductory message should reflect that.
Speaking of cop-outs, no longer taking the time to put much effort into your messages is a cop-out.

Would you expect common courtesy if and when you have not demonstrated the same? You (plural) shouldn't.

Would you bother to apply for a job for which you are not qualified and then expect to get the red carpet treatment? Would you apply for a job just so you can get a TBNT response? I doubt you would because you aren't a fool. And you certainly wouldn't return to try to convince HR by debating with them that they should hire an unqualified applicant. Then when you get rejected for a second time, you start cussing them out, saying that you didn't want their sorry job to begin with and they can shove it where the sun doesn't shine (or else threaten to do harm to the establishment). Yeah, a real class act.

Would you show up uninvited at an unknown family's family reunion gathering or take it upon yourself to invite yourself to a random family's outdoor BBQ and expect to be warmly greeted when they don't know you from Adam and you have no business interrupting their festivities? (Keep in mind that a person's inbox is their turf, not yours.)

Would you want random strangers to accost you asking you for a light or to bum a cigarette, and then proceed to argue with you about holding out on them, when you weren't even smoking to begin with?

Would you want people who cannot help you in any way, shape or form to waste your time by stopping to offer you condolescences (and nothing else) because they had nothing better to do than to pull over the side of the road to say, Sorry dude, I can't give you a lift and my cell phone's not charged so I can't let you use it, and I'm running late for work so I'm too busy to give you a hand, but have a nice day anyway? While you courteously respond, Have a nice day, too, and thanks for the thought, you would be muttering "Wtf? What an idiot" to yourself, wouldn't you.

Common courtesy works both ways, my friend. Being (and I'm not saying that you are) presumptuous and not valuing other's time at the expense of your unsolicited pride is not showing courtesy. It's like going around a neighborhood that is not your own where nobody knows you, loitering in their driveway, and/or knocking on doors to sell an unwanted and unneeded product. If someone's dog lunges out to bite you in the arse, then that's on you, not them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SuaveGentleman

Wow this has escalated really rapidly while I was busy with my simulations....
But I truly loved the 51 email experiment. Expected results, but something we should think of time and again. Truly, what miserable company.. I wish men made a better name for themselves.

- asn

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Sorry, about the massive thread derailment, but I'm getting really sick and tired of constantly getting accused (not by you, and not just on this thread, but any time the topic comes up) of being rude and inconsiderate for nor replying to every single mail when you guys have no idea the kind of shit that lands into our inboxes and what volume.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

yeah... one person sending out an email hoping for a response is not engaging in conversation.
I got one last night... Maam....would you like to go on skype and watch me shower?

A long thoughtful email hmm, unless you mention something that is in my profile or my posts, or my profile pic, within the first two sentences then Im not going to respond(unless I recognize your name). Its easy to see how it is taken as a copy and paste mail.

A male dom asked me the other day if I lactated...obviously didnt look at my age, Im pretty past lactating, and being his breeder(idiot male)
I did respond to him, but why should I?
I actually responded to him without cynicism or derision.

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster
And I don't really care if I'm outside your stated age limits or your stated distance limit. I think age is just a number and jet planes go fast. I'm also open to relocation within a reasonable time frame. What's important to me is finding the right connection and I am willing to expend an inordinate, though I don't think it's inordinate, amount of effort to achieve that right connection. So if I wasted your time, so be it. So many dominant woman here complain of not being able to find a suitable partner yet am I hearing that they're not willing to sift through the dross to find that potential diamond in the rough? Then shame on you for denying yourself an opportunity, and not with me specifically, but not shame on me for trying.

You were doing really well until this part above. Whether you don't care who you message, has no bearing on whether the recipient of your message does care. It's a good thing that you don't get yourself emotionally invested in receiving a response, when you clearly aren't what they are seeking.

Funny how men who say that "age is just a number" are either young guns who don't have the maturity level to pull a much older lady, despite the fact that she is creeped out by the thought of taking up with a dude young enough to be her son; or else an older man who's going after a younger woman, but who wouldn't take the time to pursue a woman on the plus side of that equation. As an example, which may or may not apply to you personally. You're 63 and I'm sure that you message women who are 50-55. Do you ever consider women who are that many years senior to you, or aged 71-76? If you (plural) make this statement, then you need to put your money where your mouth is, and be willing to seek out ladies who are comparably older than you are, or else you're just a hypocrite blowing hot air.

FYI, a female jet plane can get refueled indefinitely without skipping a beat, if she is so inclined.
A male jet plane can look forward to his parts breaking down after a certain number of years. It's inevitable.
To some women, those who want full-fledged intimate relations with their male partners for as long as humanly possible, THIS DOES MATTER AND IT'S NOT NEGOTIABLE.

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster
And I don't really care if I'm outside your stated age limits or your stated distance limit. I think age is just a number and jet planes go fast. I'm also open to relocation within a reasonable time frame. What's important to me is finding the right connection and I am willing to expend an inordinate, though I don't think it's inordinate, amount of effort to achieve that right connection.

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster
So many dominant woman here complain of not being able to find a suitable partner yet am I hearing that they're not willing to sift through the dross to find that potential diamond in the rough? Then shame on you for denying yourself an opportunity, and not with me specifically, but not shame on me for trying.

quote:

how would you feel if we similarly generalized how "some" women (actually the majority) behaved on here?

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster

To those of you that take umbrage to my mention that I message folks that might be looking for someone younger or closer than I, let me clarify one thing. If you clearly state a distance or age preference in your profile and I don't meet it, then that's going to be in the first paragraph of my introduction.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
...
Classy...

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster

To those of you that take umbrage to my mention that I message folks that might be looking for someone younger or closer than I, let me clarify one thing. If you clearly state a distance or age preference in your profile and I don't meet it, then that's going to be in the first paragraph of my introduction.

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
...
Classy...

Yes, I think politely introducing myself to a woman who might be attracted to me even though I did not fit her predetermined stereotype of who she's looking for is classy. Thank you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SuaveGentleman

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

yeah... one person sending out an email hoping for a response is not engaging in conversation.
I got one last night... Maam....would you like to go on skype and watch me shower?

A long thoughtful email hmm, unless you mention something that is in my profile or my posts, or my profile pic, within the first two sentences then Im not going to respond(unless I recognize your name). Its easy to see how it is taken as a copy and paste mail.

A male dom asked me the other day if I lactated...obviously didnt look at my age, Im pretty past lactating, and being his breeder(idiot male)
I did respond to him, but why should I?
I actually responded to him without cynicism or derision.

I dont know which reply you are replying to. Perfectly agree to what you are saying - so you admit if someone wrote a thoughtful email with reference to what you had in your profile and with the understanding that what you are looking for might match with what he is looking for, then you might reply? Aha! Welcome to the crux of my confusion that led to this question.

- asn