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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 12:26:18 PM

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline

Knock yourself out. At least you know when you're making a veritable longshot and if you can take things in stride, then good for you.

Unfortunately, men (and I suppose women also, but that's not germane) tend to get their hopes up when they receive a polite response, and some view a routine acknowledgment as a green light to press forward. That's what so many of the (mostly) ladies on this thread have been trying to get across, and yet our words are still falling upon deaf ears.

I tend to extend the courtesy to forum posters to write them back if they send a friendly message. (I used to ALWAYS reply to EVERYBODY for many years, on EVERY site, but recently stopped doing this because I was starting to sound like a series of broken records.)

There are just some men who can't take no for an answer with any modicum of grace. To their credit, there are many who do, and that is that. However, if I were a submissive female (or even your average-sounding single woman), I don't think I would get treated with anywhere near the same degree of civility.

DreamLady

_____________________________

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to betataster)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 12:34:02 PM

Posts: 138
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady

Knock yourself out. At least you know when you're making a veritable longshot and if you can take things in stride, then good for you.

...

DreamLady

That's me.

And regarding not taking no for an answer, all I ask, in an ongoing conversation, is that she simply say no, if no is what she intends to say. Either that, or simply end the conversation, though I think the former shows more class. Is that too much to ask?

_____________________________

There is no best way, best political stance, best religion, best lifestyle. There is only how we treat one another. - betataster 2016

Nonsense, there's no such thing as a curse. - Famous last words #262

(in reply to dreamlady)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 12:53:36 PM

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady

Knock yourself out. At least you know when you're making a veritable longshot and if you can take things in stride, then good for you.

...

DreamLady

That's me.

And regarding not taking no for an answer, all I ask, in an ongoing conversation, is that she simply say no, if no is what she intends to say.

A woman who excludes you on her profile has already told you 'no'.

Writing her means that you do not take 'no' for an answer, and feel entitled to push her to attempt to change her mind, AFTER she has already told you 'no'.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to betataster)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:05:27 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/6/2016
Status: offline

by ignoring age or distance limits stated on a profile you are stepping out of bounds for sure. You may also think it is classy to cat call a woman in the streets, real life experience says otherwise. The part that you seem to be missing is that it doesn't matter what you think/feel/assume to be classy or acceptable. You are choosing to ignore a persons specific requests and limits as stated on a site that caters to BDSM - not a great start IMHO

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:06:10 PM

Posts: 138
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

A woman who excludes you on her profile has already told you 'no'.

Writing her means that you do not take 'no' for an answer, and feel entitled to push her to attempt to change her mind, AFTER she has already told you 'no'.

Right. I see nothing wrong with making one polite attempt at changing her mind. And if she responds back, that indicates to me that she is, at least, amenable to the idea of changing her mind. Men have been attempting to change women's minds for as long as there have been men and women. Does that necessarily make it right? No. But it doesn't make it wrong, either. You would have it be wrong? That's your prerogative.

_____________________________

There is no best way, best political stance, best religion, best lifestyle. There is only how we treat one another. - betataster 2016

Nonsense, there's no such thing as a curse. - Famous last words #262

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:08:26 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/6/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster

Right. I see nothing wrong with making one polite attempt at changing her mind. And if she responds back, that indicates to me that she is, at least, amenable to the idea of changing her mind. Men have been attempting to change women's minds for as long as there have been men and women. Does that necessarily make it right? No. But it doesn't make it wrong, either. You would have it be wrong? That's your prerogative.

Would you make the same "polite attempt" to a woman who had said no to intercourse?

(in reply to betataster)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:08:30 PM

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster
And regarding not taking no for an answer, all I ask, in an ongoing conversation, is that she simply say no, if no is what she intends to say. Either that, or simply end the conversation, though I think the former shows more class. Is that too much to ask?

An ongoing conversation would be, what? Three to four message exchanges, getting a couple clarifications in order as to profile incongruency for instance, giving advice or saying a few encouraging words, a short well-wishing send-off. What part of a first message response reminding you (per the woman's profile) that you are not within range of consideration for age and for location in another part of the country, is not a "no."

Yet you sound as if you expect the other person to read your mind, that until the conversation gets ended, a "no" is not really a "no." I think you are making a case for those who would put an end to a conversation by not taking the time to reiterate a "conversational" no from the onset.

DreamLady

_____________________________

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to betataster)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:11:38 PM

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

A woman who excludes you on her profile has already told you 'no'.

Writing her means that you do not take 'no' for an answer, and feel entitled to push her to attempt to change her mind, AFTER she has already told you 'no'.

Oh please, it's not as if he is not respecting parameters that reasonable people would have.

And, he's only pressing twice. Everyone knows that THREE times makes you a douchenozzle.

Geez. Wimmenz these days...

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:12:09 PM

Posts: 138
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GodsCronik

Would you make the same "polite attempt" to a woman who had said no to intercourse?

What are you talking about? Are you making some sort of straw man argument relating what I'm saying to rape?

_____________________________

There is no best way, best political stance, best religion, best lifestyle. There is only how we treat one another. - betataster 2016

Nonsense, there's no such thing as a curse. - Famous last words #262

(in reply to GodsCronik)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:14:15 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/6/2016
Status: offline

no I'm simply asking at what point you feel a woman's preferences should be respected and at what point they need not be

< Message edited by GodsCronik -- 3/17/2016 1:15:22 PM >

(in reply to betataster)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:26:26 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

A woman who excludes you on her profile has already told you 'no'.

Writing her means that you do not take 'no' for an answer, and feel entitled to push her to attempt to change her mind, AFTER she has already told you 'no'.

Right. I see nothing wrong with making one polite attempt at changing her mind.

Your sense of entitlement is showing.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to betataster)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:32:48 PM

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

A woman who excludes you on her profile has already told you 'no'.

Writing her means that you do not take 'no' for an answer, and feel entitled to push her to attempt to change her mind, AFTER she has already told you 'no'.

Right. I see nothing wrong with making one polite attempt at changing her mind.

Your sense of entitlement is showing.

I dont see it as a polite attempt if she has said no.
You are questioning her ability to think for herself.
Do men seriously still think no means maybe, if I harrass her?

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to stef)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:38:20 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

I dont see it as a polite attempt if she has said no.
You are questioning her ability to think for herself.
Do men seriously still think no means maybe, if I harrass her?

If he can harass her into changing her mind then clearly she didn't really mean "no" in the first place, right?! Mansplaining at it's finest.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:42:46 PM

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

well I have to say , anytime ive given a no and got another mail, they get deleted and blocked.
Or given my mood, ripped a new asshole.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to stef)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:43:33 PM

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

A woman who excludes you on her profile has already told you 'no'.

Writing her means that you do not take 'no' for an answer, and feel entitled to push her to attempt to change her mind, AFTER she has already told you 'no'.

Right. I see nothing wrong with making one polite attempt at changing her mind.

When she's already said 'no', in no uncertain terms, the attempt is, by definition, not polite.

Polite
adjective
showing regard for others, in manners, speech, behaviour, etc; courteous

By ignoring somebody's request to not be contacted by you, you are showing DISregard for her, in manner, speech and behavior. Ergo, your attempt is by definition impolite, because you're doing the opposite of what it takes to be polite.

You're doing the exact same thing as a telemarketer who keeps calling after you've asked to be put on the 'do not call' list, and there isn't a person in the US who would define such behavior as 'polite'.
It doesn't really matter if the telemarketer prefaces their call with: "I know you said not to call you again, but I think you're really going to be interested after all", it's still down right rude to insist on bothering somebody who has already told you that they're not interested.

You cannot be 'polite' when you mail her to change her mind when she's already told you 'no'. It is literally impossible to do so, by the very definition of what it means to be polite.

What you're saying is akin to saying: "I'm always very polite while I'm being rude."

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 3/17/2016 1:53:59 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to betataster)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:44:56 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/6/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

Do men seriously still think no means maybe, if I harrass her?

This 1000000X essentially what you are doing can be compared to ignoring a NO to your sexual advances, in both situations you are receiving information that the contact (electronic or physical) is unwanted by another human.

You are wrong in this, your way of justifying it is misogynistic at best.

Due to how amazingly men have respected these boundaries in the past (sarcasm) it would benefit you greatly, with your total one month history on this site, to step back, really understand you DONT have this figured out, and that you ARE in the wrong.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:48:44 PM

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

are you talking to me?
Ive been here ten years ....

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to GodsCronik)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:49:28 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

I'm pretty sure he's referring to betatester.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:52:00 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/6/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

are you talking to me?
Ive been here ten years ....

Sorry - the first part of my post was in total agreement with you, and the second more scathing part was directed at betataster

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 1:53:26 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/6/2016
Status: offline

I should have multi quoted lol

(in reply to GodsCronik)

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