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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 4:33:51 PM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

Ladies wonder why they can't find quality men? Maybe they're ignoring them?

I haven't heard any of the ladies complain they can't find men. In fact, all the ladies that have spoken up on this thread have been saying they've been really successful in finding men by contacting them. I myself have found several via this site.

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 4:35:51 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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quote:

I sent one and ... drum roll, please ... no response.

After reading your posts I wouldn't be inclined to respond to you either.

quote:

Ladies wonder why they can't find quality men? Maybe they're ignoring them?

Or maybe they are ignoring the non-quality ones.

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 4:50:20 PM

Lucylastic

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well first you have to define what "quality" is to the person sending the mail and what the receiver defines as quality

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 4:55:59 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

*Not LP or Sinfix on this thread because I've met them so I know they are real :-)

HEY!

You didn't put out so you're fake too!

Hmm, soooo... LP and Sinfix putout? Inquiring minds want to know. Preferably in full graphic details. With pictures for illustrative puporses, of course.

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Post #: 104

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 5:33:15 PM

betataster

Posts: 138
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
...
Logically, you should see nothing wrong in her 'politely' telling all her friends that you don't respect boundaries and she advises them to have nothing to do with you, and instead block you directly.

After all, that's her prerogative.

Yes, I see absolutely nothing wrong with that so block away. And tell all your friends to do likewise.

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 5:36:12 PM

betataster

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
...
What a douchebag!!
...

You guys slay me with the name-calling. I feel like I'm back in junior high school.

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Post #: 106

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 5:41:40 PM

betataster

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

not evil male bastard
LMAO now who is making strawmen
just arrogant and ignorant
gender doesnt come into it.

Fair enough. Though there was a bit of sexist stereotyping from one poster.

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Post #: 107

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 5:43:46 PM

betataster

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Okay, guys. I'm going to go hide in my man-cave, drink a beer, and lick my wounds.

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Post #: 108

RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 5:45:10 PM

Lucylastic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

not evil male bastard
LMAO now who is making strawmen
just arrogant and ignorant
gender doesnt come into it.

Fair enough. Though there was a bit of sexist stereotyping from one poster.

sexual stereotyping? on this site?
man you better get some armour.
Sexism is rife.

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 7:26:51 PM

TheUltimate4Him

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I'm sorry you have had to experience this. I can completely relate as it's happened to me several times.

Sometimes it is obvious that the guy has not read my profile at all. Sometimes they live so far away it's not at all practical to start any discussion. Sometimes, like last evening, before I could even get to know him or whether he was married, kids, etc. he quickly expected a picture of me. This screams he is superficial. My attitude is if you are married, live hundreds of miles away, there is no reason to reveal myself to you if you haven't proven you're even eligible to date me.

So if it's any help at all, I'd like to recommend that you have a very clear understanding of what you want, just don't write to anyone.

Ask your deal breaker questions up front so you can eliminate them immediately. For me they must be available, not married, separated or attached in any way, have had experience in the lifestyle, not have dependent children, live near enough to me that I'm not traveling every weekend to a fantasy hookup. Fun at first, but you can't build a relationship when you barely see one another.

Just my two cents.

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 7:29:03 PM

Darkfeather

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

The polite thing to do is reply. We go into any social exchange, expecting the polite thing.

Yes, he should fucking expect a polite response.

So this guy:

quote:

Mail me your kik slut!

And this guy:

quote:

A slave is not a slave who is not used as a prostitute/whore. Are you truly a slave?

And this guy:

quote:

Do you do k9?

And this guy:

quote:

I like what I see in your profile. Message me immediately after you read this to beg for the favor of being allowed to get to know me.

(I could keep going here, and I've only got an hour worth of mails...)

Should all expect a polite response?

Noted...

Please do share... what exactly is a polite response to that last email?

It seems that not complying with his request to beg him for permission to get to know him would be rude... so enlighten me... how exactly am I to reply to that?

quote:

Yes, clearly english is my second language... If you bothered to read anything I posted in context, you would see cop-out is more than the correct term. The original post was simply a question about what to expect when contact is suddenly stopped without explanation. He was given the textbook answer, women deal with a lot of crap, so guys shouldn't expect anything. To this I say, and say, and say, again till I grow horse... IS a cop-out. The polite thing to do is reply. We go into any social exchange, expecting the polite thing. Now, I can hear your teeth grinding at the bit... shh, hear that? Before you blow a blood vessel, I am saying what he should expect. Yes, he should fucking expect a polite response. Am I saying he should get one, is he owed one, is he entitled to one. FUCK NO... sorry for yelling. My point is, from his perspective, it should be, and definitely is expected. What you want, and what you get, are usually far different things. Wishes in one hand, and all that. Can we stop with the notion that I support any of this behavior now, please? I am on my knees here

Obnoxious, I know. But apparently no one is reading the part where I say, over and over and over and over and over again, NO ONE is oblligated to reply. Let me try this... Bonjour, je m'appelle Darkfeather. No, how about Ohayo gozaimasu, watashi wa Darkfeather-san. Can this be the last time, again? You are not obligated to reply, ok. Period. If its a language thing, I can state it in multiple ones

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 7:34:41 PM

DaddySatyr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

Obnoxious, I know. But apparently no one is reading the part where I say, over and over and over and over and over again, NO ONE is oblligated to reply. Let me try this... Bonjour, je m'appelle Darkfeather. No, how about Ohayo gozaimasu, watashi wa Darkfeather-san. Can this be the last time, again? You are not obligated to reply, ok. Period. If its a language thing, I can state it in multiple ones

Par-ce-que vous etes un bon homme, mon ami!

Michel

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 7:42:33 PM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

NO ONE is oblligated to reply.

Darling, you are saying that. A 'cop-out' is 'an instance of avoiding a commitment, responsibility or obligation'.

If you say that women cop-out when they're not replying to those messages, you're saying "women are avoiding their commitments, responsibility and obligation to reply to those messages".

You can't both say that women are not obligated to reply, and then say that they're failing to meet their obligation to reply when they don't reply.

If women are under no obligation to reply, then it's impossible for them to be 'copping-out' when they don't reply.

Which one is it?

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 3/17/2016 7:43:08 PM >

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 7:56:59 PM

Darkfeather

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oh for christ... Fine, you got me, I am all for mandatory female replies

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 8:02:53 PM

Darkfeather

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meme merde jour different, mon noir

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 8:48:23 PM

Spiritedsub2

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Thread drift: the paddles are back!

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/17/2016 10:41:10 PM

Darkfeather

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/18/2016 2:24:33 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
I haven't heard any of the ladies complain they can't find men. In fact, all the ladies that have spoken up on this thread have been saying they've been really successful in finding men by contacting them. I myself have found several via this site.

Thank you. Geez, I was starting to wonder when somebody was going to point this out. I'd be the biggest hypocrite on the planet if I ever complained about not being able to meet people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster
Right. I see nothing wrong with making one polite attempt at changing her mind. And if she responds back, that indicates to me that she is, at least, amenable to the idea of changing her mind. Men have been attempting to change women's minds for as long as there have been men and women. Does that necessarily make it right? No. But it doesn't make it wrong, either. You would have it be wrong? That's your prerogative.

This probably isn't the best quote to go off of but it should suffice. This is a bad idea. In my opinion, it is not a good method thinking that you will be the exception to the rule. You could invest the same amount of time going for your target audience and have a higher success rate.

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/18/2016 8:52:29 AM

Andalusite

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I usually stopped responding if the conversation just sort of fizzled over time, and I had nothing interesting to respond with.

I don't consider it a cop-out to not respond to spam, if they're putting in no more effort than the penis enlargement spam in my yahoo account, then they don't deserve an answer. If someone has clearly put thought and effort in, I usually respond, even if it's just to wish them luck. I've only had two nasty responses over the years to a "tbnt," but I agree that some guys can't seem to take no for an answer.

I didn't get 100 mails per day when I was looking, it was more like 25 per week, which was much more manageable. About 75-80% met my parameters: local, sent a message that was worth responding to, single, within my listed age range, etc. I occasionally tried to respond to ones that didn't give much info in their initial e-mail, but it was like an interrogation scene, and I gave up on it.

I reactivated my account to start looking again back in June of last year, and have 56 pages of e-mails here on this site, plus more that I deleted because it was just a "hi" or was offensive. 3 months of that time I was dating someone I met here, and I met someone through Fetlife last month (he also has an account here), and we're now in a D/s relationship. In the ~5 months I was looking, I met about 25 men in person, and talked with about 10 more on the phone who I didn't meet. Two turned out not to be single, and didn't tell me until we'd made plans to meet in person, but at least they did let me know then! One flaked on me - he did show up, but 3 hours late (it was at an event, so I was able to spend time with other people, I wouldn't have waited that long to meet someone under normal circumstances). None of them appeared to lie about their age/height/weight, etc., or were unrecognizable from their photos.

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RE: Why would someone do this? - 3/18/2016 11:00:56 AM

Darkfeather

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I don't think anyone is saying women have difficulty finding people. Quite the opposite, because this is a buyers market. Women get to pick and choose, since they are the rare, sought out commodity on any dating site. Not just kink. Hell, there are some less than reputable sites, that actually make up fake female profiles to "pad" the numbers *shock*. But the original poster's question was about his perspective. The way a guy sees the entire exchange. Women have beaten it into us until no one wants to argue, that as a guy, he should have no expectations. None when sending out that email, none for getting a response, none for continuing the conversation. We have it berated into us that, we should just accept a non answer, or sudden cut-off. So yes, we guys more than understand that this is totally one sided, hedged game in favor of women. But that doesn't, and I say shouldn't change our expectations of what should happen.

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