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RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/26/2016 8:28:01 PM   
realtuffdom


Posts: 108
Joined: 7/16/2007
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I don't understand how this power of attorney works. I mean, do you get their superpowers immediately, or do you have to somehow earn it, like having to defeat the previous attorney in a battle of wills? And what about the cape? Does that come with the powers, or do you have to rent one yourself? I had the same dilemma when I was going to buy a suit and then realized that there are places that rent them, so I went to rent one and discovered that they cost money, even though you have to give them back when you're done with them. What kind of crap is that? And what if you get into a brawl at the wedding you were wearing that rented suit at and you suffer some type of injury? Does the power of attorney also cover that? Do you get covered for such injuries because the suit you rented didn't protect you from damage, like every other freaking superhero costume they sell at Wal Mart? These questions really need to be answered before you consider something of this magnitude.

_____________________________

Always, Ram Ford Tough....

I have lots and lots of experience at domination. Now I'd just like to try it with a partner....

(in reply to Lovelyness)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/26/2016 9:42:40 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lovelyness

Can this be real life and be safe?
Am I insane for considering it?




I've been in this situation twice from the submissive side (though there was no POA in place, the D-type had complete control over my finances, and sole access to it, as well as no safeword, and no way for me to 'tap out' of punishments besides me leaving altogether). Both times it's worked out for me. They left me a better person than I was before entering into them.

I've also am in this exact kind of situation currently from the D-side myself. My slave girl has no safe words, no right to negotiate what happens in the relationship besides her leaving it, and I (and my husband) have complete control over her finances and medical decisions. It's working out for her as well, considering that she's healthier now than when we met, and has doubled her savings (though she doesn't know that, she has no clue where she stands financially at the moment). She's -currently at least- of the opinion that the relationship is making her a better person than she was before.

In the two relationship I was on the s-side, I had know the men in question a year online with 4 offline meetings, and 2 months online with 6 offline meeting, respectively, before entering into those relationships.
My slave knew us 6 weeks online, and had met us once offline (for a week) before entering into the relationship with us.

So does it exist in real life? Yes.

Is it safe? ...In general, ABSOLUTELY NOT... but the again, it all depends on who it is you enter in this kind of arrangement with. Do they have your best interest in mind? If so, it will probably work out well for you, leaving you a better person as well. If they don't have your best interest in mind, it might end up being catastrophic for you, and -depending on the type of person you are- leave you with lasting trauma or have you rise from it stronger than you were before despite the catastrophe.

Can you tell which of the two this man is after only 4 meetings? Perhaps, perhaps not. It depends on how good a judge of character you are, and how honest this person is being with you.

Beware before going ahead with this. Be hesitant. Be cautions. Think it through. Ask him any and all 'what if' scenario you can come up with. Use any argument you can to convince yourself you should forget about the whole thing and move on.

And if after all that it still all feels 'right' to you, and like a good thing, and like you have nothing to lose by trying it, and like it might end up with you being stronger than you were before for the experience, and like you can handle any hardship or misfortune that might come your way if it turns out you made the wrong choice after all, and like you might regret for the rest of your life NOT experiencing this if you let the opportunity slip by... then I'd say go ahead and take the leap.

Life is short, and a lot of what people assume is 'the worst that can happen' isn't really that terrible all things considering. People often fear too much, and live too little.

Are you insane for considering it? Nope, I wouldn't say you were, considering that you're going about making the decision in a slow and cautionary way, thinking things through, instead of jumping in blindly without a second thought.
Providing this guy isn't some ax murderer, (and you seem relatively convinced he's not... and even vanillas getting married can't be certain of that -and sometimes turn out to have been wrong in the matter-), and considering the state of your life, and your financial situation at the moment... what do you really have to lose?

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Lovelyness)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/26/2016 10:06:36 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
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quote:

I believe he and I have communicated and had negotiation after detailed negotiated for the last 5 years. They have not lined up perfectly ofcourse. His willingness to budge ...is slight to none.

Which makes it not a negotiation.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to RainbowsandUnico)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/26/2016 10:20:17 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

The quilt I feel from not being submissive enough to be with the man I feel I love is a very real thing.

Darling, stop trying to be the submissive somebody wants you to be and concentrate on being the submissive you are

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to RainbowsandUnico)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/26/2016 10:38:01 PM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: realtuffdom

I don't understand how this power of attorney works. I mean, do you get their superpowers immediately, or do you have to somehow earn it, like having to defeat the previous attorney in a battle of wills? And what about the cape? Does that come with the powers, or do you have to rent one yourself? I had the same dilemma when I was going to buy a suit and then realized that there are places that rent them, so I went to rent one and discovered that they cost money, even though you have to give them back when you're done with them. What kind of crap is that? And what if you get into a brawl at the wedding you were wearing that rented suit at and you suffer some type of injury? Does the power of attorney also cover that? Do you get covered for such injuries because the suit you rented didn't protect you from damage, like every other freaking superhero costume they sell at Wal Mart? These questions really need to be answered before you consider something of this magnitude.

Marry me

(in reply to realtuffdom)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/27/2016 10:24:50 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
~Fast Reply~

First, I've kind of abandoned this site for a while and on an insomniatic whim, stopped in. I just want to say how nice it is to see so many "old" faces that had also disappeared for a while.

To the OP:

While in many ways, a "General Power of Attorney" is the same in every state, there are some differences that vary by state law. I live in NJ, and what you are describing is known here as a "Durable Power of Attorney."

Given everything you have stated here, you are wildly attracted to your idea of this man, but in reality he really is not the man you have made him in your mind. You seem to have some pretty concrete knowledge of what you do and don't like, as does he and they seem to be very different. This is a huge problem. More often than not, when part of mind is asking, "is this an insane thing for me to do?" that is our instinct saying, "DO NOT DO THIS." The problem is that many people are unable to trust this basic survival instinct. If your gut says it is a bad idea (which it seems to be doing), then don't do it.

Here's the thing with POAs'. You have to be sure that the person you are assigning it to will not abuse it. In the work I currently do, I have a Durable Power of Attorney over one of my clients. Due to the situation, this man has knowingly given me the power to make any and all decisions regarding his life, both financial and medical. However, he also knew when the issue came up that I would never abuse that power. This would be because we had a very long discussion of the reasons to do it, the benefits to him and how it applied to his situation. There have been a couple of medical situations where we again had to discuss that I had the power and ability to override what he wanted if I thought the situation became serious enough to do so. The first time, he needed to be reminded that he gave me that right because he trusted me with his life and that even though he was terrified of going to the ER, it was necessary. The second time, he wanted to wait awhile and see if the situation resolved itself. That second time, I abided by his wishes, but monitored him very closely until I was confident that we could safely not go to the ER and deal with it with a PCP.

Having that kind of control over someone's life is not something that should be taken lightly or done as part of a power exchange relationship because he likely read it somewhere and thought it was "hot."

I have the Durable POA over this man because his situation, which is not relative to this conversation, indicates that me doing so is in his best interest. His best interest is key here. Because during these medical situations that I have spoken of, I didn't simply make a decision and then go on with my day. I had to be with him in the hospital nearly the entire time, talk with the doctors, help him understand the gravity of the situation, and yes, even help ease his fears that we needed to do what we were doing and that I would be there as long as was necessary to make sure everything that was necessary was done. There is absolutely nothing beneficial to ME in having this POA, it is all about the benefit to HIM, and how he needs assistance in his life to improve his situation right now.

In your case, I see no way how this benefits YOU, rather that it is all part of the power exchange situation he finds desirable. You know you have a drinking problem. As Gauge said, forcing you to attend AA meetings is not going to miraculously stop you from drinking. Again, as Gauge said, you won't stop until you have that "come to Jesus" moment that makes you want to stop. AA worked for Gauge and that is great, however, addiction treatment must be tailored to each individual. For instance, some people get great benefit from a support group type setting, while others benefit more from an individual one on one approach, or even in patient treatment. This man does not know you well enough to know which type of thing will work best for you.

Those people I mentioned it was so nice to see again here have given you solid, experienced advice. They have been in solid relationships for years and they or their partners have earned the right to have that kind of control over their life. That is not your situation. This man has done nothing to earn the right to control your life other than tell you he will not consider your feelings, what is in your best interest and what he intends to force you to do. This is the complete opposite of who you should ever give Power of Attorney to. He knows you have a drinking problem (as do probably most of the people in your life), but what does HE know about addiction and how your problem should be properly handled if you were in a relationship with him? When you tell him something scares you, he doesn't ease your fears, he tells you that your fear will be irrelevant. How is this going to improve your life.

While I do not agree with Ishtarr's situations, and would never, ever recommend them, I am pretty sure that before she entered into those situations she knew enough about the person she would be giving control to that they even though she would have no right to say "no," there was enough compatibility between what they wanted that she was comfortable moving forward. On the other side of that, to many people she enjoys some pretty hardcore things that aren't for everyone, so there is a much broader availability of what she is okay doing or "enduring" for and with her partner. You do not seem to be that way, and many people aren't. Her way is not wrong, but it really is not for everyone, and would be inadvisable for more people than not.

Given the five pages of most people (even Ishtarr) telling you to think very carefully about this decision or not to move forward, I truly do not understand how you can continue to ignore your initial instinct that told you this was NOT a good idea.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/28/2016 8:27:36 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I am pretty sure that before she entered into those situations she knew enough about the person she would be giving control to


Knowing less than the OP, presumably, because I had known them for a far shorter time online, and met them offline about equivalent.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

there was enough compatibility between what they wanted that she was comfortable moving forward.


Compatibility was never really an issue for me when considering these type of relationships. What matter to me was the answer to the question: "Will this person let me leave if I decided to walk out the door?" and "Does this person take care off/pride in the things he owns?".

As far as the consent issue goes, I'm personally fine with giving the D-type full range consent in the way Kana has with mouse, up to and including all kinds of horrible "But what if he wants to do X?" providing that I'm confident he'd allow me to leave the relationship (and thereby revoke consent) if I wanted to. In those type of 'no safeword' relationship, the safeword IS the leaving of the relationship, so the only thing that really matters before entering into such a relationship is: Do you trust the D-type to uphold the 'safeword' if you decided to leave, or not?

As far as the "Taking care of things he owns" goes, everything else compatibility wise is less necessary to pin down. The only reason to even ask about the other stuff it to get a sense of his moral compass and ethics, so you have some idea of the kind of things he might do with you, your body, your mind, your finances, etc.
But even then, considering that there are no negotiations -especially not after entering into the relationship- and everything is subject to his whim-of-the-moment anyways, even those questions intended to get a broad sense of what he might do, and what his immediate plans/feelings are, aren't so much an issue of testing for 'compatibility' as they are to get a sense of "Does he, in general, take care of/improve the things he owns, or does he abuse, neglect, and destroy them?". If he's the type of guy who takes care of the stuff he owns, you can count on him doing the same with you, and not wantonly pushing you past what you can handle, mentally, physically, emotionally, or financially. At that point establishing whether or not he's going to do X (say beat you a certain way, or make you stop drinking coffee, or make you put the toilet paper role on wrong) doesn't really matter, because if he truly is a guy who takes care of the stuff he owns, he won't do X anyways unless you can actually handle it.

Compatibility after the answers to those two main questions are established is really only relevant to the point of establishing whether I'm attracted to the guy or not. Any compatibility on small details that people usually establish before entering into relationship doesn't really matter, because he'll do as he pleases anyways, which means that you shouldn't sweat the details, considering that you're going in from a position of defacto not getting your way on any of them anyways. In such a relationship you should go in knowing that every time you disagree, he's going to get his way. And no matter how compatible you really are with somebody, there's going to be a million little details on which you're not going to be, and on all of them you already 'lost' the argument from the start, which makes establishing compatibility on them sorta irrelevant: you cannot be compatible enough with somebody so that you can enter in such a relationship banking on compatibility to keep you 'safe' from not needing to constantly compromise with him never compromising.

For the record, I've only entered into such relationships where my financial assets weren't really that substantial (less than 30k) and I was young enough to build them up again quickly if they somehow all got depleted during the relationship (which never happened). If I had been older, and better off financial, I would have set up some sort of trust to put them out of his reach before entering into the relationship. Especially considering that I believe that when you take a slave, you take just her and the fruits of her labor while you own her, and what is in her past shouldn't matter.

From her posts I believe the OP is in a similar financial situation as I was, so I really believe she shouldn't much worry about that aspect of it.
Especially not considering that if he is a 'takes care of his stuff' kinda guy, she might very well be better of financially leaving the relationship than she was when entering it. The fact that he was willing to take her on back when she had a bunch of student debt is one strong indication in my book (or at least it would be for me if I was considering begging this guy's collar) that he is an 'takes care of his stuff' kinda guy, and not just after stealing what little assets she currently has.



< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 10/28/2016 8:46:49 PM >


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/29/2016 9:11:57 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
Life is short, and a lot of what people assume is 'the worst that can happen' isn't really that terrible all things considering. People often fear too much, and live too little.
Absolutely correct. A refusal to accept limitations is why Kalliko and I ended up together. We both felt that the experience was worth the risk. And thus far, it has been.

I'm fond of saying that 99.8% of those things people fear might happen - never actually happen. Due diligence, yes. Caution, yes. Taking your time to evaluate the possible outcomes, yes. But holding back for fear of the unknown? No. That's no way to live.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/29/2016 10:45:29 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline
These pumpkin cookies are Delicious.

Hi everyone.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/29/2016 3:59:02 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
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These pretzels are making me thirsty.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/29/2016 4:18:06 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

Due diligence, yes. Caution, yes. Taking your time to evaluate the possible outcomes, yes. But holding back for fear of the unknown? No. That's no way to live.

Oh my fuck, you actually said something sensible!!!

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: General Power of Attorney - 10/30/2016 7:11:50 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick
Due diligence, yes. Caution, yes. Taking your time to evaluate the possible outcomes, yes. But holding back for fear of the unknown? No. That's no way to live.

Oh my fuck, you actually said something sensible!!!
Even a broken clock tells the right time twice a day.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: General Power of Attorney - 11/1/2016 7:23:10 PM   
richardgirard


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/17/2016
Status: offline
you are correct with that both parties must sign and have id in front of notary and 10 bucks

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 93
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