Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Alternative Lifestyles in the News >> Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/27/2016 7:04:55 AM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline
Have any of y'all seen or heard about this? It's big news on fetlife. Huge deal. I'm frankly shocked. I followed this guy and his writings and was under the impression all involved were consenting, and although a lot of the accounts made me uncomfortable I thought it was all on the up and up. I was so wrong.

https://www.google.com/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3874476/amp/Man-known-Wolf-raped-woman-meeting-adult-fetish-website.html?client=ms-android-att-us
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/27/2016 8:18:43 AM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
I think if you receive communications from someone that you find disquieting then go ahead to set up a hotel meet with him anyway, you lose a certain amount of credibility when crying rape. What did you think was going to happen?

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/27/2016 9:49:31 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32561
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
Have any of y'all seen or heard about this? It's big news on fetlife. Huge deal. I'm frankly shocked. I followed this guy and his writings and was under the impression all involved were consenting, and although a lot of the accounts made me uncomfortable I thought it was all on the up and up. I was so wrong.

https://www.google.com/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3874476/amp/Man-known-Wolf-raped-woman-meeting-adult-fetish-website.html?client=ms-android-att-us


I guess you didn't follow too terribly close. Same guy who caused an uproar last year due to him posting his encounter (along with pics) with an underaged gal last year. (All writings and pictures associated with that have since been pulled.) This isn't his first time around with him being accused of violating a person's consent. A number of folks have been aware, but not everyone.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/27/2016 1:25:53 PM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
Have any of y'all seen or heard about this? It's big news on fetlife. Huge deal. I'm frankly shocked. I followed this guy and his writings and was under the impression all involved were consenting, and although a lot of the accounts made me uncomfortable I thought it was all on the up and up. I was so wrong.

https://www.google.com/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3874476/amp/Man-known-Wolf-raped-woman-meeting-adult-fetish-website.html?client=ms-android-att-us


I guess you didn't follow too terribly close. Same guy who caused an uproar last year due to him posting his encounter (along with pics) with an underaged gal last year. (All writings and pictures associated with that have since been pulled.) This isn't his first time around with him being accused of violating a person's consent. A number of folks have been aware, but not everyone.





I wasn't on fet last year

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/27/2016 1:27:36 PM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

I think if you receive communications from someone that you find disquieting then go ahead to set up a hotel meet with him anyway, you lose a certain amount of credibility when crying rape. What did you think was going to happen?

That's the biggest problem. Victim blaming enabled this to happen. It's taken 14 mo of investigation to bring him to charges. Meeting a guy for sex doesn't entitle him to go beyond the consented parameters and the victim isn't to blame for rapists lack of control and obvious God conplex.

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/27/2016 8:02:38 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

Major BDSM practitioner

Ah yes, the "respected community member"

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/27/2016 8:13:46 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
Meeting a guy for sex doesn't entitle him to go beyond the consented parameters and the victim isn't to blame for rapists


No, it's not the victim's fault that a rapist is a rapist, but when you go meeting a guy for sex, then sex with the guy can't really be called rape can it? Unless you weren't aware you were meeting him for sex. Which from this particular man's reputation in these particular circumstances, is ridiculously unlikely.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 5:43:48 AM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
Meeting a guy for sex doesn't entitle him to go beyond the consented parameters and the victim isn't to blame for rapists


No, it's not the victim's fault that a rapist is a rapist, but when you go meeting a guy for sex, then sex with the guy can't really be called rape can it? Unless you weren't aware you were meeting him for sex. Which from this particular man's reputation in these particular circumstances, is ridiculously unlikely.


If the sex goes beyond what was agreed upon yes, it's rape. You really don't get that? If I say no anal and you proceed to Sodomize me because hey, I'm naked and let you stick it in my vagina, that's rape. If we get naked and it gets too rough for me and I ask you to stop and you don't, it's rape. If I start getting my clothes on and say to you I changed my mind and you should go and you grab me, pin me down and and fuck me, that's rape. If I'm in subspace and tied up and you bring in a third party to fondle and penetrate me while I'm too spaced out to fight back, guess what.......ding ding ding, that's RAPE.

you're disgusting if you think otherwise.


< Message edited by Greatlilbabygirl -- 10/28/2016 5:45:24 AM >

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 6:14:50 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta
No, it's not the victim's fault that a rapist is a rapist, but when you go meeting a guy for sex, then sex with the guy can't really be called rape can it?

Do you seriously believe in this?
It's rape at any time the woman says NO, even AFTER agreeing to have sex. That's why we have safe words in BDSM. So that the top in question will know when it's consensual and when it is not.

This just reminds of a silly small group of men here, influence by some American condemned dating coach. I mean that dude was banned from coming to our country as he advocated that men should be assholes to women if they wanted to get laid. And there were video footages of him abusing Japanese women.

Anyway, their campaign was to change the law, that IF a woman agreed to enter the roof of a male. His home, or his hotel or whatever. As long as she passed through the door, anything that happens after that can never be considered rape. WTF!

Fortunately, no way in hell that will ever be implemented in my country.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/28/2016 6:18:02 AM >

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 6:28:29 AM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline
Unfortunately Greta there are too many people who think like Alecta. Then women become super cautious and paranoid because we know there is a statistically significant amount of men and women who think agreeing to any sexual act automatically entitles them to take advantage of us in any sexual manner they please, so we just don't bother to meet anybody for sex. Then it all gets fucked up because women fear interacting with anyone since rape is an ever looming fear and if we dare to risk having fun and end up getting raped in the process it's our fault for "putting yourself in that situation. You should have known better. " It's why it's called rape culture. A culture that assumes sexual contact means yes to any kind of sex and if you charge rape you're the slut who asked for it.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 7:04:30 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
No matter what, women does need to be cautious. Because end of the day, predators are real.

Bad people exists. Facts of life.

And rape is very hard to prove especially IF the man can show evidence that you agreed to meeting him, at his place to have sex with him.

Because there are no witnesses as to when you said No.

Which is precisely why, I advocate fighting for your life, and risk serious physical harm if ya really want evidence, IF you are already stuck in this situation. The physical harm caused to you could be on your side as evidence later.

Too many rape cases, like these, the woman never wins, WHEN there is no physical harm done to her.

Anyway, trust your gut. If there is a tiniest bit of uneasiness. Trust it.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/28/2016 7:09:21 AM >

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 7:14:46 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3301
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl
Meeting a guy for sex doesn't entitle him to go beyond the consented parameters and the victim isn't to blame for rapists


No, it's not the victim's fault that a rapist is a rapist, but when you go meeting a guy for sex, then sex with the guy can't really be called rape can it? Unless you weren't aware you were meeting him for sex. Which from this particular man's reputation in these particular circumstances, is ridiculously unlikely.


I've read that guy's profile on Fet, and a couple of his writings. If I arranged to meet him at a hotel, I'd be shocked if he DIDN'T rape me. He doesn't exactly make it rocket science to figure out what sort of man he is.


_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 7:23:15 AM   
montanasubboy


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/19/2016
Status: offline
My mistress will not engage a man in less he is in chastity and she has the key.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 7:23:51 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2
I've read that guy's profile on Fet, and a couple of his writings. If I arranged to meet him at a hotel, I'd be shocked if he DIDN'T rape me. He doesn't exactly make it rocket science to figure out what sort of man he is.

Reality of the matter is though. Not everybody is naturally instinctive.
But I have not seen this man's profile. Basically unless he clear cut said he does not do safe words at all. And refuses to play with safe words. Then I think..., that's him clearly telling upfront, he wants non-consensual.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 7:55:59 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9361
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline
The minute they say no its no..so 100% agree with greta75 They exist in all walks of life, all sites, could be a person next to you in a queue, a collegue, family memeber ( expand it to all specturms of monseters). The matter becomes complciated further because some people are designed that way. A few are programmed that way.

You've all seen me, no matter the site, go off on those bad stereotypes-mad dangerous waffle, and also the vulnerable who surround themselves with people of that ilk/mentality/mindset and anyone defending/enabling the aforementioned....never ended well for me did it most times ;)

the core element of the link is charged - and it would be wrong of me to comment further. But at the end of the day it can boil down to he said v she said. So only those two will know for sure. But even that is not always correct I have come across many people inhabiting many a reality and their ability to differentiate is lacking

His past history i am unaware of. And that place has long had the capacity to moderate every picture that is uploaded as has this place) I am not letting fb fish of either ive seen profiles where they have kids/babies/daughters etc as the main element of their pictures- make my blood boil that. The ones that use their "underage" daughters disturb me

Non consensual - hmmm been a few threads on here, and there, about that - most are started by misbegotten stereotypes and errant socks and howling mad monsters - but they just need one person to bite. or for more than a few to think its a "normal" part of the lifestyle or any lifestyle

< Message edited by WickedsDesire -- 10/28/2016 7:56:07 AM >

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 8:00:57 AM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
Sigh. It's about extremes and taking responsibility for your own bad decisions, you know, both of you. You're right to an extent, if I said no anal and you do it anyway, that's rape. You are missing my points however that
1. if you go meeting a guy for anal sex and he does anal sex, you can't turn around afterwards and say it's rape.
2.t some point the whole "right to rescind consent" becomes... ridiculous. Like the women who call rape after they get the sex they signed up for, citing poor performance, or change their minds after it's in progress and proceed to call what's already happened rape. I cannot support that blatant abuse of reason and protection. (As in, abuse of protection).
3. When you go meet a guy known for doing stuff beyond the script for sex, who has a public history of being disturbingly pushy in bed, and get naked for him and let him fuck you, you cannot actually be surprised when he does what he usually does and goes off script, can you? You cannot reasonably expect him to treat you as a special snowflake and not do what he usually does just because he said so. The scorpion and the frog. They are both to blame for the scorpion stinging the frog. The frog should not have believed the scorpion just on his word and should have taken steps to prevent the scorpion from harming him even if he wanted to believe in the good of the scorpion.

To further elaborate, if the girl had met the guy under a fake profile (of the guy) rather than his usual one with all the disturbing stuff he publicly espouses and all the public rape drama per his previous partners and people in the public online community (I will concede that his reputation in "rt" community may be privileged information the girl was not privy to if she did not know the same people), and did not reasonably know of his reputation, then there is no expectation for her to have been able to know that the risks. On the other hand, if she went into a room with him got naked and let him near her knowing his reputation as above, there's no reasonable and responsible way she can say she didn't know that's the kind of encounter she's most likely in for. It further needs to be questioned whether she'd actually decided to met him because of the reputation, being attracted to the idea. It's funny we can't go to a restaurant to order something we thought we were interested in and decide not to pay for it when we change our minds about wanting it after it has been served, but expect exactly that in this argument.

On this case in the given coverage it is unclear which of these cases is what'd happened since the papers are more interested in making a sensation of his Fet, and it doesn't matter because it's not about her at this point in this (this forum) discussion. It isn't about victim shaming or blaming so much as it is about not letting victim protection absolve people of personal responsibility in bad choices. The abuse of victim culture.

Greta, I remember the guy you're talking about. It may interest you to know the guy's a coward. There were other similar "public events" where despite not being actually banned, he never actually showed up. He would later say that he cancelled due to threats,but hackers claim he never actually made any plans to show up to any of them (no tickets and hotels booked or browsed etc) and attendance at the gatherings he'd organized for his supporters were embarrassingly small-- apparently their members have an aversion to leaving their basement hideouts. There is a roster of names and addresses of these guys,courtesy of the hackers. It's also interesting that when one of the cities in his "grand tour"decided to charge him for inciting violence, he put out a video claiming it's all a hoax to launch his viral marketing company and he doesn't actually believe in the stuff he was saying... so, not the most reliable guy on any side of the law. I stopped following the story after the video though.

< Message edited by Alecta -- 10/28/2016 8:33:02 AM >

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 9:36:34 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

1. if you go meeting a guy for anal sex and he does anal sex, you can't turn around afterwards and say it's rape.

I absolutely can.
Anyway I am not into anal sex, so let's just say sex.

A simple example. I agree to have sex with this guy. I go into the room. Then I got cold feet and decided, I am not ready to have sex yet.
And decided I want to leave now.
If the guy stops me from leaving and forcefully consummate the act.
That is rape!

Scenario 2
I agree to have sex with a guy. Went into the room, maybe he already pull up my top, playing with my breasts in the bed. And then he starts trying to unbutton my jeans.
At that point of time, I may suddenly feel like, I am not ready for this yet!!!
And decide to change my mind and tell him, I don't want to go all the way. I am not ready.

He refuses to respect my wishes and use force and have sex anyway.

That is rape!

There are so many ways this could happen!

True incident that happen to my girlfriend. She did invite the guy to her home, and they got naked in bed. But somewhere in fore play, she didn't like the way he was handling her breast. So she kicked him out. Fortunately, the guy was not a rapist. And respected her decision and left.

If a man is not a rapist, it doesn't matter whether she agreed to sex or not. As long as she said No at any time. He would respect it and leave. But if he does not respect it. He is a rapist and he committed a crime. As simple as that!


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/28/2016 9:41:01 AM >

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 9:40:14 AM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline
However stupid the victim is, rape is still rape.
Stop making excuses.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 9:40:18 AM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
You're picking on pedantics and you know it :p

But then you edited so I'm not sure if you realized that "after" refers to after the anal sex you signed up to and agreed to.
If you continue to read the above post you'll find the points at which rescinding consent is unreasonable, namely changing your mind after the act has already been committed.



< Message edited by Alecta -- 10/28/2016 9:44:37 AM >

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape - 10/28/2016 9:42:02 AM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods
However stupid the victim is, rape is still rape.
Stop making excuses.


I'm not making excuses. I'm pointing out when it isn't actually rape.

(in reply to WhoreMods)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Alternative Lifestyles in the News >> Major BDSM practitioner arrested for Rape Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2022
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.199