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ORIGINAL: SexyBlackMan2

I actually disagree with that. It's no different that in the vanilla world when you look at someone and say "how could this person end up with that person?". I find that in true BDSM, there is romance. A good Master or Dominant has to take care of his slave or submissive. Otherwise, it's abuse. Similar to the vanilla world when you ask why can't this person get out of a toxic situation, some use BDSM to cover for all sorts of issues and aberrations there could be.

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ORIGINAL: kiwisub22

Romance is NOT dead - at least for me. My sweetie bought a kettle and my brand of tea for his apartment when he was romancing me. If that isn't romance, I don't know what is.

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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

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ORIGINAL: Real0ne

In the bdsm world, romance has been replaced with 'fetish connection', and LTR is just a buzzword for 'till new fetish do we part'. I am convinced that this so called 'lifestyle' is not much more than a shallow ruse for fetish swingers, that for appearance sake looks like and sounds like a relationship but is merely a temporary relief to scratch an itch. Anyone else get that impression?

Yes, hmm. I know what you mean. All I really know is that I *cannot* go in that direction. I've tried 'kink-without-connection' many times ... and it just doesn't damned well do it for me. If anything, it actually helps kill what kink I have, to be honest. I've actually come to envy those blokes who can go to a BDSM venue and go home sated after having their hides ripped into spaghetti by a woman they don't know and don't care about. I know one or two - their lives are so straightforward. Grrr.

But I'm less enamoured of the idea of romance than I used to be. The best relationships I've had have been more 'When Harry met Sally' than 'Romeo and Juliet'. That is - a friendship first; albeit one where you fancy the others body. Kink comes second. Well, actually, for me - it might not come at all. I've come to realise it's really just ten percent of the whole package, at most. I do *not* want to go 'Dom' again - been there, done it too many times. (Hah - I know a *lot* about very pushy femsubs who are determined that I should 'know my place' as Master.)

But I don't think I really need to be a sub. Not any more. Nice, but not mandatory.

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ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

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ORIGINAL: kiwisub22

Romance is NOT dead - at least for me. My sweetie bought a kettle and my brand of tea for his apartment when he was romancing me. If that isn't romance, I don't know what is.

Ditto.

When he was romancing me, my husband would make sure that there was Brie or Camembert in the house, that was acquired early enough, and had been sitting out on the top of the fridge long enough, so that it was perfectly ripe when I was over at his place.

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If you want to see real 2016 romance type the word 'application' and do a search. As far as many of them they are concerned you are applying for a job ffs. Doesnt that make you all feel warm and cozy?

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ORIGINAL: Real0ne

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ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

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ORIGINAL: kiwisub22

Romance is NOT dead - at least for me. My sweetie bought a kettle and my brand of tea for his apartment when he was romancing me. If that isn't romance, I don't know what is.

Ditto.

When he was romancing me, my husband would make sure that there was Brie or Camembert in the house, that was acquired early enough, and had been sitting out on the top of the fridge long enough, so that it was perfectly ripe when I was over at his place.

Did you meet in bdsm venue? Married couples, many of them has pre-established romance models that carried over and I expect have a much higher success rate than those of us who are single and trying to get something with substance going.

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ORIGINAL: Greta75

FR
I don't feel like romance is dead.
But perhaps it's the direction I go looking for it. I always demand the romance. I mean it's the criteria I look for. I always romanticized BDSM and I couldn't get along with someone who doesn't go about it romantically. The guy gotta be sweet. Even if his a dom, he doesn't have to be like in "asshole mode" all the time. If he is, why bother with him. Nothing wrong with even making a whole play night romantic, flower petals, candles, him cooking dinner for you to start. I like all the repetitive V-Day stuffs.

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ORIGINAL: DocStrange

I do not think Romance is dead but in this day with technology many have forgotten or never learned the art of courtship. There are many simple things you can do to show her you care. Here are just a few:


Open doors for her
Bring her flowers
Bring her chocolates
Kiss her hand
Serenade her with music
Send her a hand written letter
Write her a poem
Compliment her on a new outfit, hair style, etc
Take her to a candle lit dinner
Walk her to her car after she gets off work

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Romance is doing something that shows that the other person is special to you, and you've paid attention to them as an individual enough to know what they like and care about.

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ORIGINAL: tamaka

Kick her cunt.... works better for me! ; )

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ORIGINAL: Real0ne

In the bdsm world, romance has been replaced with 'fetish connection', and LTR is just a buzzword for 'till new fetish do we part'. I am convinced that this so called 'lifestyle' is not much more than a shallow ruse for fetish swingers, that for appearance sake looks like and sounds like a relationship but is merely a temporary relief to scratch an itch. Anyone else get that impression?

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ORIGINAL: Real0ne




Did you meet in bdsm venue? Married couples, many of them has pre-established romance models that carried over and I expect have a much higher success rate than those of us who are single and trying to get something with substance going.

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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

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If you want to see real 2016 romance type the word 'application' and do a search. As far as many of them they are concerned you are applying for a job ffs. Doesnt that make you all feel warm and cozy?

I can't do things that way. What's the point? As far as I can see all that does is turn it into a chore for both sides. This stuff is supposed to be *fun*, isn't it?

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ORIGINAL: ThundersCry2U

Beat `em, use `em, fist `em and kick `em to the curb...and say *I`ll see ya in a few weeks*...

How much more romantic can a guy get...

It`s not rocket science...

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ORIGINAL: littleladybug

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ORIGINAL: Real0ne

In the bdsm world, romance has been replaced with 'fetish connection', and LTR is just a buzzword for 'till new fetish do we part'. I am convinced that this so called 'lifestyle' is not much more than a shallow ruse for fetish swingers, that for appearance sake looks like and sounds like a relationship but is merely a temporary relief to scratch an itch. Anyone else get that impression?

My personal experience has not been that way at all.

Certainly there are some people who approach it that way, but they are fairly easily weeded out, IME.

It's been a little over 2 years since I contacted my Master on the other side here. From the start, we have been on the same page regarding wanting a long-term, monogamous relationship. There's definitely not been a shortage of romance here.