LadyPact
Posts: 32566
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ORIGINAL: Real0ne
LP, it does not matter to me, that is a side issue that DL brought up nothing to do with endless emails. Endless emails have nothing to do with a hidden profile 'after the fact' when its not hidden at the time I write to them and typicaly not through the duration I am conversing with them.
Its simply a moot point that has no value in this convo.
Even if that were my reason who cares? It has no bearing on endless emails. No I I literally never get nasty email, only those who agree, or have additional comments usually.
So, are you saying you do turn it on when you have started conversing with someone? I mean, at least long enough for them to see it after you've sent an initial email? One of the things that you've said is about one of the ways you are (to you) wasting time with the endless emails is about having to write full biographies, so that could alleviate that part.
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Right, and I thank you, I am nearly always very polite in email, I found you quite cordial as well, and I do understand the intense issues you were dealing with.
As a side note for conversation's sake, I think some folks would be completely surprised about some names who are actually *very* nice via private emails. It's kind of nice when it turns out that way.
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Its not my age, but the idea you referred to yourself as community and I been around since the largest munch in chitown was 10-20 people LOL
This is a funny thing because, every now and again, I still talk with people and tell them about 'way back' munches I've been to where I was literally the only female Dominant in the room. Something that, unless a person were in a really little town or it was a munch that was just starting up would never happen again today. (Of course, back then, I really didn't know crap about what I was doing, so I'm sure it wasn't really a plus for anyone. LOL.)
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Nothing like you females get. If I were a female my profile would get turned on for 5 minutes and off for 5 days LOL
Again, another thing for conversation's sake. If I were new here, being female, I wouldn't make my profile visible for the first sixty days. I've never been a fan of the fresh meat alert (aka 'newest local users' function). Great way to get any new female bombarded with emails that have a huge majority of trash content. I'm sure it has issues for men as well, because I'm sure the scammers make full use of it. Yeah, let's just paint targets on people.
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yeh I've done needles but its one of those things I only do because my Domme would be into it, not because I get much of anything out of it.
It's the comparison that I use because there are good portion of people out there who are not into it. While I don't think it discounts me from potential play partners in it's entirety, I hope it serves the purpose of illustrating that there are some perfectly legitimate kinks that are fun for some people while being a hard limit for others.
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Fin isnt a kink, its a handout service.
Unfortunately, we have to disagree in this area. Having met some of the men who are totally into it, I have trouble putting it *always* into the scam category. I think it's closer to the thing about how there are actually fin kinksters/fin Dommes and fin ducks. I'm not saying I put faith in every 22 year old that is looking to cash in on the fact that she's got a hot bod, so please don't think that's what I mean by it.
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Ok skills are good, but they teach things like that at the munches.
Well, not at munches, but I do consider it one of the benefits of the rt community. However, there's also that section of people that don't do those kind of events where I'd really rather see them get *some* education on a forum, rather than no where at all. While I'm not big (for myself) to believe that just because I've read something that I'm competent to do it, I consider background info at least a place to start. Plus, I think there's an advantage to an interactive forum, rather than manifestos coming down from 'on high' about, 'yeah, do it this way and you'll be perfectly fine'. Look at how that whole DOWF thing went down with the 'solar branding' deal. In my personal opinion, that person was not qualified to be conducting that play, much less presenting on it.
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Well once things get rolling it rare I dont get into some ridiculously heavy discussions, and I have learned the hard way go to phone or drop it. Take a look at my last response to Dl, it demonstrates one of a number of forms where text (email) fails. Now the typical Domme out here flashing her titties on the profile with at least a page per day of emails, 99% of which are bullshit and invariably they wind up doing quick reads and quick reads do not work once the convo get serious and requires accurate understanding and that is exactly what happens and blows the whole ordeal to hell.
I had actually wanted to address some of the points in your exchange with DL last night but truthfully, I was pretty exhausted after coming home from the club, so I wasn't at my best. (Big clue, my last response on the thread wasn't even in my signature font.)
I do happen to be a fan of emails, to some extent. Even the obvious reason in my case aside, I just find the communication method convenient. As egotistical as it sounds, I can write/respond to emails on my timetable. I also consider myself odd because I *schedule* phone calls. (Some people on the forums know this.) I want to be in the situation where the background noise is minimal, I'm not being interrupted when my time is allocated for myself or other people, and basically, I'm not doing 'something else'. (I'll spare you my own, personal rant about this.)
Even as a fan of emails, I don't think it's the end all/be all of everything. Yes, I do believe that they can be at least partially helpful as a screening tool. There are certain personality traits that my stalker had that, I'll tell ya, if I see them in an email exchange, I won't go near that sh^t again with a ten foot pole. The only reason that Engie and (the former) tk got into my life at all is because they assured me that stuff would not happen in ways that **I** deemed necessary.
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I have gotten back responses so bad they didnt even match the convo on any level. Not one point. I dont have the patience for that foolishness any more.
I'm not terribly sure how to address this. As you may or not be aware, I have certain guidelines for my email interactions now that I never had before the stalking thing. If you're not aware, here's the quick list:
* I know you. We've met in person and you are not one of my stalker's sympathizers. I do not give an ever loving sh^t about the sob stories he has told you or you believe his BS "I'm such a nice guy" routine. There is no GD difference to me between being a stalker's "supporter" than any other consent violator's supporter going. What is a stalker other than this? If you, as a submissive, were in a play space that told a person "no"/I don't want to engage/leave me alone/ stop doing that/safe word or any other aspect of this, nobody would bat an eye that your consent had been violated.
* We know (as in having met face to face) with another person in common. To me, you are at least, the walking
/talking person you claim to be.
* Your screen name has been active for the past five years or so. There is a trick that some of us know about 'taking over' an old screen name. Don't fall for his stuff. Only unethical people do it.
I will also tell you that I respond to emails on Fet way more frequently that I do here because I think Fet has certain advantages. Way better than here. Are the other person's friends, really "friends," as in people they interact with? Have people met them or are they going to events? What do their writings include and do they have certain behaviors that should be avoided? Do people know them and should they be scrapped *before* interacting with them? Were they a part of "groups" that kicked them out?
In your case, specifically, I'd look for certain 'groups' they belong to. Are they on a fin kink group? Maybe the 'pro' classifieds? For you, I'd say any reference to wallet raping, "rinsing," or human ATM kind of stuff. I won't go so far as to say avoid people who have an Amazon wish list, because that can go both ways. While I, personally, don't get into that (because anybody who knows me *should* know what to buy me for my birthday) some people do take that route.
I don't want you to take away from this thread that I don't sympathize with you. I think people who do the 'catfishing' thing (disgusting that we have to have a term for that) aren't the best people on the planet and nobody wants to be on the receiving end of that. Hopefully, you *will* take something away from this thread that helps you in your endeavors.
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Endless emails, be very afraid - 
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