BeachMystress
Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004 From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kyakitten LordandMaster, Beach Mystress, if you please: As subs don't always find themselves in a position to avoid nasty kidney blows or other ill-advised practices, this girl would appreciate any wisdom you could share on how a sub might ascertain a potential Dom's knowledge about safety without coming across as challenging the Dom's authorit. So many writers state that they are "experienced Doms" but may not have external evidence to back that up, and as a private person I can respect that possibility ....however my first Master and I were learning together and so it was easy to share safety information. Now I dread being in a position where I'm "testing" a potential Master on whether his knowledge matches up to what I've read and studied - even if subtly done, it seems so disrespectful. Any suggestions you might offer would be so welcomed... alwaysron is right. Any Dominant who is upset by being asked questions about their qualifications is one with whom you shouldn't play. You have the right to quiz the Dom/me. Just as they are interviewing you, you are interviewing them. Being submissive doesn't mean being a doormat. YOU have rights. Challenge any potential Dom/me's authority all you want. Until you accept each other, you owe them nothing in the way of submission. As long as you are polite about asking, there is nothing disrespectful. It lets the Dominant know you value yourself and are serious about your submission, since you took the time to learn. I've been given the total third degree by new subs upon meeting. It has never offended me and never will. One way of extracting the information you need to make your decision is asking open ended questions.. How do you feel about... What is your view on... When did you first become interested in doing X. .. Also ask more pointed questions. If a Dominant claims to have a special skill, find out how they learned it. Ask how many subs they have had. Why are those subs no longer with them. Can you talk to any of their former subs? Ask what first aid training they have, if any, and how recent it was. Ask what they'd do in an emergency situation. Ask any question that comes to mind. A good thing to do is make up questions first and have a brief outline. This is your body you're going to entrust to this person. Make sure you're satisfied that you trust them. Also, never let someone pressure you into making a commitment. If you meet someone and before you part ways that first meeting they are insisting that you make a decision about being "theirs," you are best to pass. Take a good 24 to 48 hours thinking before you decide upon further contact. If they aren't willing to allow you that time to think.. pass. You're making a huge decision.
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Beach Mystress *Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson* http://beachmystress.jigsy.com http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/
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