quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoyinatlanta

i normally don't receive but i would with the right lady...i usually prefer fucking women in the ass

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
I'm not sure I buy that certain actions aren't dominant or submissive. For instance if instead of talking about anal if we were talking about restraint or caning would peoples answers be the same?

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Sadist does not equal dominant, and masochist does not equal submissive. Power is different than sensation.

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ORIGINAL: GotSteel

I'm not sure I buy that certain actions aren't dominant or submissive. For instance if instead of talking about anal if we were talking about restraint or caning would peoples answers be the same? That said if being a dom and getting anal is your thing maybe a rather submissive strapon would help alleviate role confusion: http://stockroom.com/In-and-Out-Penis-Gag-P1312.aspx

Actually, this is something I've considered purchasing for the boy. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: LouisDonatien

I should have been more explicit. My use of the words "Top" and "Bottom" has nothing to do with the power dynamic between partners. For that I use the terms "Dominant" and "submissive". I have found these pairs of words useful in my BDSM community to distinguish between the physical acts and the power dynamics. And by the way, I only use the words "Topping" and "Bottoming" to refer specifically to the delivery of physical pain in an erotic scenario - NOT to just any physical acts (giving/receiving tax returns, giving/receiving gits, etc.). (But I realize now that according to my own use of the words, the giving/receiving of a massage would certainly not necessarily be Topping/Bottoming. )

Again, this is simply the terminology that I have found useful in my own BDSM community.

Long ago, I watched a BDSM play scene that went like this. There was a woman on her hands and knees on the end of a bed, with her butt facing the end of the bed. Standing at the foot of the bed, about 3 feet away from the woman's butt, was a man with a flogger. The man was flogging the woman (who was loving it!) as SHE barked out orders to him to do so, and HE was completely submissive, dutifully carrying out her orders and answering "Yes ma'am". Later he used other toys to perform ministrations to her - under her strict orders. As it turns out, this man was one of her submissives, and she his Dominant. And as I learned later, they often played in this manner, but always, even during this kind of play, she was extremely Dominant toward him and he extremely submissive to her. This style of play of theirs did not alter one iota their D/s power dynamic.

So what words shall I use to refer to just the physical activities I witnessed as separate from their power dynamics? As I have said, I have found in my BDSM community that the words "Topping" and "Bottoming" are efficatious in communicating this distinction.

But let's remember that these words are our slaves. If someone finds it useful to employ these words in a different manner than I, then that's fine. Even if you find it useful to treat the word "Top" as a synonym for "Dominant" and the word "Bottom" as a synonym for "submissive", then that's super, if if helps you communicate.

My ACTUAL point in my post was, the physical receipt of anal penetration and the physical delivery of anal penetration do NOT necessarily imply an act of social submission and Dominance, respectively.

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ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Sadist does not equal dominant, and masochist does not equal submissive. Power is different than sensation.

Ok, I can agree with that. Also a sub kneeling at the doms feet serving him by taking care of said feet would seem within keeping of the roles to me, I've got no idea what your going on about there. Massaging the feet with a bastinado I can't really picture....never seen that option at the spa (shrug). But I can't agree that being restrained is a sensation. It seems to me that it inherently involves an exchange of power. Caning and being fucked anally are maybe less clear cut but getting ones ass caned just doesn't seem dominant to me. Even if they demand that their partner beat their ass, it seems more like topping from the bottom than dominating to me. Certainly others definitions of D/S will vary and I won't be the one to demand that they live according to my fantasy definitions. But I just don't see bending someone over a sofa and pounding them in the ass as submissive and I have some trouble picturing receiving that as dominant. Like I said I'm just not buying that certain actions aren't inherently submissive and others dominant.