LotusSong
Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006 From: Domme Emeritus Status: offline
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Arizona: tie a jalepeno to a string.. toss it in the roadway and hide behind a tree. If you can sound like a burrito, it helps. Ohio: Sit on your front porch and when you think you see one, toss a perrogy their way. (I just eat them, I'm not sure how to spell them) Texas: simple, hold a barbecue and when they get close enough, toss a lasso around them. Kentucky: Any female family member. Arkansas, Mississippi, Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama: See Kentucky California: Meditate. If you center yourself, they will come. Alaska: Check flagpoles. Sometimes we like to stick our tongue to one just for the effect. Oregon and Washington: carry a large soft terry cloth bath towel under one arm and wave a pair of galoshes and umbrella with the other. Washington DC: Forget it.. Ever since Hillary left, others pale in comparison. New York: Now that Hillary is THERE... everyone else pales in comparison..so forgidaboutit. In the old days.. all you had to do was "make them an offer they couldn't refuse" Illinois: You can lure them with "yellow cake" Indiana: Come up quietly behind them and do a low engine rev sound. Florida: You can only find them in the winter. You must be wearing a canary yellow shirt, white golf cap, white pants, white belt and golf shoes. Belt must be cinched above the waist line and just under the pecs. Change your name to Sid or Sol. Yiddish is a plus. You must be 65 or older.
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Life Lesson #1 I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
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