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KnightofMists -> RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- (9/24/2006 7:57:15 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY
Perhaps "hyper-aware" was a poor choice of words.
My meaning would be more accurately stated as "sensitive to" in the sense that while growing up, sexual identification insults and insults about the size of a males organ are common ("needle dick", "pencil dick", "teeny weeny","she needed tweezers" etc). They are especially effective and insulting when coming from a woman, are they not?
I would agree with the word sensitive. Interestingly thou.. these insults amoung men occur on the basis of the unerect penis... When was the last time you actually saw an erect penis? (In person... and not on some porn) I suspect that such comments and insults would be effective if they came from women... personally... I never was subjected to it.
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However, even your own words show that you were, for many years, under the impression that you were "at best average and even on the small size". Where did this initial impression come from? Does it not mean you considered your size at some point? Don't (most) all men?
personally, I think the intial impression comes from us men within our teenage years. I believe that we gain these initial impressions by the observing each other in unerect states that in truth is not a fair or accurate representation of the truth of one's erected size. It is also influenced by the general fear young adult men have of being sexually competent with a woman. For some they guage their competence basis on their perception of size.. the statement... "Bigger is Better" idea. However, for some... they take hold of the idea that "skill of Use" is much more important. I also suspect that our intial sexual experiences can have a tremendous validating or devaluing effect on our self-image and each person situation is going to be different in this regard.
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Which is my point.
My point is that out side of the extremes in size.. be it small or large. The self-image that one has can very likely be based on nothing but fears and illusions. I would also say that even at the extremes... that of either size one is possible to have a good or bad self image just because of their intial sexual experiences.
And then there is... "Who are you going to please with that?" the answer ME!
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If you, who is "on par or larger" than average, thought you were below average, what then do you think the most plausible thoughts are of a man who is definitely "below par"?
and how does he definitely know he is "below par"? and as I said... intial experiences can have a huge validating effect or devaluing effect... it really depends on what experiences a person has... be they fortunate or unfortunate.
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Personally, I've never been particularly hung up about my size [:D] either, and understand that I'm at least "average". But I'd also be lying if I said that if a woman told me that I was "smaller than average" in any context other than one of open honest communications, it wouldn't have an impact (even if I never let the impact show).
It is a sensitive issue to raise to be sure. Particular if the person is under the impression the subject in question is of lesser stature. I believe approaching it with sensitivity and open honest communication can go a long ways. But, if size does matter to a girl... well... personally...she better speak before she opens the package. Even if all she expects and wants at least an average package! she should state it. I have found many men become less concerned with there size... be it smaller or larger.. with the more experiences they have in their life. This lack of concern makes it unimportant for me to express anything with regards to my penis size. So if the women doesn't speak before opening the package... well so sorry. you did open door number one. I wasn't concerned with it... women in general keep expressing that we are too focus on SEX. So we try to focus on the issues that we precieve that are important for women as we develop the relationship. Then wam... they open door number one and the hypocrit appears. I find in general men are very comfortable speaking about sex... but this is the opposite for women. Yes there is exceptions. But frankly... if you can't open the subject up with our partner on issues that are sensitive to you and concern you... well go whine to some else.
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It has nothing to do with the physical facts, and everything to do with the emotional context.
I find it difficult to credit the man (or any man) who is under discussion with total obliviousness on this subject, which is the argument that you, Emperor and LaM and LA all seem to now be making.
well I can make the arguement.. because my actual experience has shown me that some men can be oblivious to the facts. They can have illusions of grandeur or defiencency. Or they frankly don't care or it is not a concern for them... which is particularly the case when someone is emotional stable and content in their own sexuality.
So the man in question.. frankly nothing the OP states indicates that he was aware or oblivious. But... it does show that the OP has the problem.... which may or may not be this gentleman's problem.
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