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RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/23/2006 4:47:39 PM   
draba


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline 		Barry,
My Mistress is a Pro and after a few sessions she discovered that I can help with her yard since I am also a pro-gardener. Since then I have never spent a dime for sessions. I do on occassion treat her to plants that I buy, but that is more out of love for my Mistress, since she has collared me. I have treated myself to a few sessions for tribute with my Mistress and her friend, since they offer double sessions for a discount. But since then I have been told that I am never to spend money again on a session. Instead, Mistress has sent me to friends to work for them in exchange for a session. She does this when she feels I need some change or some additional traineng.
Perhaps you should consider some Pros to get your kinks out. At the same time, listen to what the Mistress' here have said. Do you have anything to offer?? Can you cook? clean? Garden? Web services? Secreterial help? There are many possibilitis and many Pros who could use some additional help. Here's one. How are you with financial & investment advice? Many a pro needs to think about thier futures.
Good Luck
draba, a plant in the musterd family

(in reply to slavebarry)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/23/2006 10:48:08 PM   
firefey


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline 		see, this is exactly what most dommes are looking for in a house boy.  someone who gives something of value in return for something of value.  you have a skill many of us do not have.  and that makes your service unique and special.  the problem is in finding a person who understands the idea of give and take, in both a monitary and physical way.

(in reply to draba)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/24/2006 7:24:20 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: firefey
see, this is exactly what most dommes are looking for in a house boy.  someone who gives something of value in return for something of value.  you have a skill many of us do not have.  and that makes your service unique and special.  the problem is in finding a person who understands the idea of give and take, in both a monitary and physical way.


In my opinion, the give and take can also occur through a relationship and mutual interest itself. That is, it is not essential to have to compensate if the sub can give in return the type of satisfaction he receives.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to firefey)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/24/2006 12:27:57 PM   
Dragonskiss72


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

The key is in furnishing your prospective Domme a graphic, fully erect, close-up dick shot (picture) along with your introductory email.

As everyone knows, women are visually stimulated, so this introductory tack is very disarming and works quite well to seduce the targeted Domme.

This move also lets you remain more anonymous during the first steps of courtship, which means you can play your "winning-personality" cards later on down the line. (What woman could ever resist such a powerful combination?)

As you see, this is a win-win way into blissful slavery, service, and self-actualization.


That's a joke surely?  Let Me assure u op, and anyone else for that matter, dick pics don't seduce Me.  They show a complete lack of imagination.  I like My toys to have intelligence, imagination and a sense of humour among other things.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/24/2006 12:32:37 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		You don't realize that he was being sarcastic.

Christ, people need to take a breath before they post.  Someone's liable to have a stroke or infarction or something.

(in reply to Dragonskiss72)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/24/2006 12:47:18 PM   
SexyFemDom


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

You don't realize that he was being sarcastic.

Christ, people need to take a breath before they post.  Someone's liable to have a stroke or infarction or something.


Like you.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/24/2006 12:52:01 PM   
Dragonskiss72


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline 		Not being on this site for long I have not had the opportunity to learn everyone's writing styles to assess correctly what is and isn't their form of humour.  I was also aiming my response to cloudboy's post to the op not cloudboy.
As for your comment regarding taking a breath to avoid a stroke, maybe you should take your own advice. 


(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/24/2006 4:42:24 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragonskiss72

Not being on this site for long I have not had the opportunity to learn everyone's writing styles to assess correctly what is and isn't their form of humour.  I was also aiming my response to cloudboy's post to the op not cloudboy.
As for your comment regarding taking a breath to avoid a stroke, maybe you should take your own advice. 




Well then, I guess you need to be welcomed to the boards.  Looks like you're gonna have fun....


Edited to add:  Welcome to the boards.

< Message edited by kc692 -- 10/24/2006 4:45:38 PM >

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to Dragonskiss72)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/24/2006 7:55:19 PM   
firefey


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: firefey
see, this is exactly what most dommes are looking for in a house boy.  someone who gives something of value in return for something of value.  you have a skill many of us do not have.  and that makes your service unique and special.  the problem is in finding a person who understands the idea of give and take, in both a monitary and physical way.


In my opinion, the give and take can also occur through a relationship and mutual interest itself. That is, it is not essential to have to compensate if the sub can give in return the type of satisfaction he receives.

Cheers,

Sea


i suppose it requires a better deffinition of compensation.  i find that even my most rewarding, emotionally satifying relationships have some manner of resiprocity.  one must feel they are getting out of a relationship at least as much as they put into it, otherwise the relationship is a burden.  this doesn't mean i require someone to give me gifts of any kind of intrinsic value in order to have some of my time.  but i do need to feel that my time was well spent.  it is a thing of value, and those i choose to give my time to should also impart something a value to me.  again, not nesessarily an object. money or service.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/24/2006 7:57:36 PM   
firefey


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline 		and don't mind LAM, he's our resident grouch.  and we like him that way....most of the time.

(in reply to firefey)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/24/2006 9:50:23 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: firefey
i suppose it requires a better deffinition of compensation. 


In my prior post, by compensation I meant some form of a material or service based barter given in exchange for domination. My context for this statement was the reference to barter of skills in this thread, as well another discussion in which I recently participated.

In the other discussion, a female sub asked whether it was the norm, as she was told by multiple men, that a sub must compensate a dominant for his dominance by providing a blow job? In principle, I think this question is relevant for the question of barter because it reduces to whether a sub must compensate a dominant for dominance?

In my opinion, the compensation may be necessary if the dominant is topping or dominating for the sake of the sub and does not get as much from the experience. If the dominant does get similar value from the experience, then I think compensation is unnecessary.

If a dominant does expect compensation, a sub can either respond with the compensation or seek another partner who finds the experience itself worthwhile.

All this said, supply and demand issues may allow a dominant to require or be offered compensation despite finding the experience enjoyable.

quote:

i find that even my most rewarding, emotionally satifying relationships have some manner of resiprocity.  one must feel they are getting out of a relationship at least as much as they put into it, otherwise the relationship is a burden.  this doesn't mean i require someone to give me gifts of any kind of intrinsic value in order to have some of my time.  but i do need to feel that my time was well spent.  it is a thing of value, and those i choose to give my time to should also impart something a value to me.  again, not nesessarily an object. money or service.


I agree that each person must get enough reward out of the relationship or a particular aspect of the relationship for the same to continue. I think this is true for social relationships in general. I think this reward is a net sum of sources of satisfaction and sources of dissatisfaction towards the relationship.

Reciprocity is a good word to describe what I meant when I said that a sub can in return give to the dominant the type of satisfaction she feels. That is, the dominant can have the same motivation and reward with respect to the relationship as does the sub: the relationship and company, and the pleasure had by engaging in BDSM with a desired person.

Cheers,

Sea






(in reply to firefey)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/24/2006 11:19:21 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: firefey

and don't mind LAM, he's our resident grouch.  and we like him that way....most of the time.


Actually, LaM makes a good point....There are a few hyper-sensitive folks who's sensitivities seem to be easily shaken these days. Not so much here on the Mistress section....but on other parts of the board, yes. Remember.... this whole thing is supposed to be about fun and entertainment. If your not having fun, it's time to re-evaluate things.  ; }



 JMHO


 - R




< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 10/24/2006 11:23:08 PM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to firefey)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/27/2006 9:17:45 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		True in most things/situations... why should here be any different??? lol

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/27/2006 10:12:27 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: firefey

and don't mind LAM, he's our resident grouch.  and we like him that way....most of the time.


And I'm usually the idiot who usually have very major differing opinions to people, gets into lots of arguments. Gets personnal abuse thrown at me and then gets nearly banned for biting back.

At the op. Simply don't hassle the dominants. Try to explore in here and be yourself. Write intelligent things. Pretty much do a search for my nic in the forums and write exactly the opposite to what I post and you will start making friends. Infact you can join the bandwagon and abuse me too for sharing my true feelings not the 'Im desperate for a mistress feelings so ill say what they want to hear ',


Hope that helps :)

< Message edited by imtempting -- 10/27/2006 10:14:20 PM >

(in reply to firefey)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/27/2006 11:20:23 PM   
AlexAussieSub


Posts: 70
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		There are at least many very strong parallels and perhaps no difference at all between what a "(no fees) dominant female" and a vanilla chick look for in a guy. The first thing you need to have is a belief in your own value as a Sub or boyfriend. Writing about how no-one wants you doesn't convey this. Also, women prefer to have a rapport with someone before they get sexual even if it's just a casual thing, so they'll think you're a bit weird if you just want to get bend over at the drop of a hat. This means you should redo your profile to talk more about your personality and hobbies. If you talk about BDSM at all, save it for a later paragraph.

What I really think you need to do though is spend more time socialising with women. So many Subs don't see any point even talking to vanilla women, and when they come out, they don't have the social skills to make it. So get out there, start talking to women and make a bunch of (platonic) friends.

I don't know anything about the scene in Yorkshire, but if there are munches and stuff there start going to them, and if not move somewhere where there are.

Good luck,

< Message edited by AlexAussieSub -- 10/27/2006 11:24:47 PM >

(in reply to slavebarry)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/28/2006 8:11:05 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexAussieSub

What I really think you need to do though is spend more time socialising with women. So many Subs don't see any point even talking to vanilla women, and when they come out, they don't have the social skills to make it. So get out there, start talking to women and make a bunch of (platonic) friends.

This is SOOOOO so true.  I think more and more, I come into contact with gentlemen who are far more unsocialized than ever before.  The resounding connection is that they've withdrawn themselves from vanilla dating and do not do many social activities.  They refuse to get involved with BDSM social events like munches and really, have never even MET another person who shared their kinks.  They're terrified.  They just don't get that it's almost like regular dating, with another checklist, and a few extra toys in the basket :-)

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to AlexAussieSub)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/29/2006 3:37:58 AM   
marcpiery


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/5/2006
Status: offline 		Is there anything else but "for fee" dominant women, or any other women for that matter? Whether it be the vanilla world or the BDSM world, women want two things: our money and control over our lives -- they whine about wanting this or that, and nag until we give in, then, they complain about our friends, our families, and nag us and bitch at us until we give up our friends and ignore our families. I believe that subconsciously, men are attracted to openly dominant women because they are at least honest about wanting to control us. This is also true for the men I have known that actively seek to date and marry prostitutes -- honesty. As for the fee part, until women stop viewing themselves as a commodity (i.e.: placing a value on their bodies or time), they will continue to dig into our wallets -- and until they realize that as soon as someone has paid/tithed/honored them for their behavior/time that they are automatically the sub, they will never truely know what dominance is. In the end, BDSM or vanilla, women will be women.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/29/2006 5:08:34 AM   
livinincincy


Posts: 25
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Slave Barry said initially:
please can anyone help as to why it is so difficult to meet a dominant female for a (no fees) relationship, it seems like after writing to nearly every dominant female on this site there is still very little to show for my efforts,whats wrong with females on here dont they want a slave.


Here is my observation:

"Hit me !", said the Masochist.
"No !" said the Sadist.

"Domme Me !" said the slave.
"        ", said the Domme.

Your are in Poly relationships with multiple Cruel Sadistic Dommes using you for their pleasure.



< Message edited by livinincincy -- 10/29/2006 5:16:16 AM >

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/29/2006 6:38:22 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

As for the fee part, until women stop viewing themselves as a commodity (i.e.: placing a value on their bodies or time), they will continue to dig into our wallets -- and until they realize that as soon as someone has paid/tithed/honored them for their behavior/time that they are automatically the sub, they will never truely know what dominance is. In the end, BDSM or vanilla, women will be women.
 
Try seeing an individual before you slap the whore label on...

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to marcpiery)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/29/2006 6:44:47 AM   
AlexAussieSub


Posts: 70
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		Marcpiery, the Dommes on this board are just going to flame you, but you probably won't learn anything from that, so here's some constructive advice from another guy.

First off the vast majority of guys are not attracted to dominant women. When you look at the fact that there are ten gay clubs for every BDSM club around, it definitely seems to be much less common than homosexuality.

Secondly, the last thing women want is some loser who abandons his friends and family in some pathetic attempt to get more sex. They value loyalty in guys, and any woman knows that if you'll abandon your friends at the drop of a hat, you'll probably abandon her too. Also if you're throwing money at her to try and get love/sex, a woman will sense that you just see her as a gold digger (which you seem to think all women are). This would hurt anyone's feelings and also make them think you're a bit dumb for staying with someone you think that of. Wouldn't you just take the money and piss off if you were in their shoes? I don't see Dommes getting around kidnapping people, so they probably want someone who submits because they want to, not just as a means to an end.

In short if you treat every guy as an enemy, you're going to get bashed. If you treat every girl as a commodity, you're going to get gold dug so to speak. Look for the positives in other people and you'll have more fulfilling relationships :)

(in reply to marcpiery)
Profile   Post #: 60
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