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RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 1:51:55 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

My question to you is if you hate women supremacists, why are you here then seeking a dominant woman?

Just a point of note here Dolly.....not all dominant women are supremacists. I personally have no regard for that line of thinking. If it's your thing, fine, but please don't go lumping all fem doms in one category, or telling men that supremacy is the only thing they'll find when seeking a dom fem. It's far from the truth.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 81

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 2:46:14 PM

LadyOunce

Posts: 126
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

But have almost NO luck with finding a woman who can accept my crossdressing
and submissiveness.

I know many women that not only accept these things but seek them out in a playmate/pet. The thing is that they tend to run into those that assume because they share this interest, they will immediately take them in. Or the crowd that declares that they must be cold, cruel, sadistic bitches looking to emasculate their men rather than to raise them up to the best sissy they can be so they tend to hide their desires and interest in this.

Or so my personal experience has been.

(in reply to sissifytoserve)

Post #: 82

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 2:54:46 PM

LadyOunce

Posts: 126
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Secondly, a lot of submissive guys are really just after sex, and that isn't too attractive to many dommes, who are looking for submission of the soul (so lovely, sigh).

I am finding this a lot myself on this site. So many subs wanting me to leap onto yim/cam and be there for them so they can get off and they tend to get rather snotty when I note that, for me, it's so much more than merely a release.

(in reply to Kleider)

Post #: 83

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 5:27:33 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

My question to you is if you hate women supremacists, why are you here then seeking a dominant woman?

Just a point of note here Dolly.....not all dominant women are supremacists. I personally have no regard for that line of thinking. If it's your thing, fine, but please don't go lumping all fem doms in one category, or telling men that supremacy is the only thing they'll find when seeking a dom fem. It's far from the truth.

Did I write It is the attribute of "all" Mistresses?No. Here's My point of note to you: lighten yourself up. you jumped the gun.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 84

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 5:32:05 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea
These attitudes might carry some appeal for play--and some people might be assuming these attitudes for this reason--but I agree they carry little promise for a personal relationship.

Oops! Guess I should have clarified that...... In play, what attitudes people assume are one thing... But I'm talking about day-to-day attitudes; those that one uses in life in general, with everyone they happen to come into contact with... that, imo, are very unhealthy attitudes to have.

Hi Mikal, You're right - when applied to a scene, obviously the "superiority" attitude and the Dom/ Domme do go hand and hand, ie their mutually inclusive. but I disagree with you that men and women are equal. In many areas they are not. But so what. It's really no big deal at all. It is what it is. This Doesn't mean I don't think men and women shouldn't be given the same fundamental rights, liberties and opportunity for the pursuit of happiness, peace and harmony in complete and total equal measure, because I do. For what it's worth, I think men are just as adorable, just as lovable, just as fuckable, just as kissable as women. Don't dismiss this. Also even though I believe woman are superior to men in many areas, that doesn't mean I think they are less worthy, less of a human or any less deserving than women. eg. Because we can bring life into this world - we are far superior. Because men can't, does that make them less of a human, less worthy or less anything? No. Does that makes us more superior in the procreation department? Hell f** yeah. Again, it is what it IS.
A superior attitude or belief is going to hold true and come out differently from person to person. I differ from sissy's femdom encounters because while I hold this belief, I don't slam men down. "When the wrong man uses the right means, the right means work in the wrong way. "

(in reply to Mikal)

Post #: 85

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 6:09:34 PM

sissifytoserve

Posts: 1016
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

Behind that amor of defense lies a lonely man,lost, angry and depressed. Reading your posts I can feel your pain. Everyone needs a place to vent and your coming to collarme to vent and post your frustrations is probably therapeutic for you. But your delivery is all wrong. It's not that people are opposed to your disagreements, it's because, wittingly or not, you tend to come off acrid and offensive. Like a round the clock circle, over and over and over again, it's the same ol thing. Are you getting weary of it yet? Defending yourself, sometimes offending others? Maybe it's time to take a different route - a proactive approach. How about getting yourself away from your computer and making an appointment with a therapist. Plently of people do - it's nothin. A woman therapist would suit you - so that you can learn to trust a woman. You're not ready to be a D/s relationship. You stated you hate women with superior attitudes; yet you advertise yourself looking for a Mistress. This is an attribute of Mistresses' however . The 'superiority' attitude offends you so much because I think you do not grasp the essence of its true meaning. I think underneath it all, there lies a good man. A man capable of loving himself and loving this world and attracting the love he very much needs and deserves. But right now, I think being here is the worst place you can be. I think you should first learn 2 love yourself. If you want love (as we all do and need) reflect upon the poet's words: "The love you get is equal to the love you give." In a nutshell, posting acrimonious posts over and over again is getting you nowhere. I think you should start a new chapter in your life. Come to terms with your past pain- whatever it may have been, accept it for what it is, learn and grow from it and LET IT GO. I'm not saying all that is easy but it's time to start healing. Start to love yourself again. Let yourself accept You for YOU. The rest will follow for sure.

Dolly,

First of all...you have no clue about who or what I am or what my life is like...so do not presume to know. Much less about the natureof my persona.
I certainly wouldn't show the egotistic arrogance to assume I know anything about you. I don't. All I see is your profile...and profiles can't describe jack about the true nature of a person. I think the only way you can truly know a person is by spending lots of time with them. "My delivery is all wrong" Perhaps according to you. I think you just don't like it...but I am not changing for anyone. I'm cool with what i do...as long as I don't fuck someone over. If you don't like what you describe me as "the same Ol thing"...them move on..don't read anything I write and live in the sunshine of life with absolutely no-one disagreeing with you. You'll feel better. Its the "superior" thing to do. I am more than willing to put the gloves on when someone wants to attack me for my opinions....most of the time...they go after me personally...instead of what I post. This I find very telling. It shows that when cherished sacred cows are made into hamburger...peoples egos tend to get ruffled. Certain types of people don't like that...because for some people...if they lost their ego for a moment...they wouldn't be able to survive...because in many cases..it is a house of cards. No foundation.

I really doubt I need a therapist in light of what I see in the real world every day of how psychotic, sadistic and evilpeople are on a daily basis. In fact..i have come face to face with my own dark psychic content. Its there for a good reason. A shrink will not help me. Reading the works of Jung, Freud,and Wilhelm Reich is something that I would recommend to anyone.In fact...I would recommend anyone reading this to stay the hell away from any AMA connected psychiatrists.They are drug pushers for the most part. If you aren't a danger to yourself..or society...you have no need for one.Better to educate yourself..and more importantly..FIND...your SELF. No one will do it for you. No Guru, No Shaman...and definately..no shrink. Its all on you.

I think anyone should hold a level of suspicion when first getting close to anyone. This should be a slow process. If you want to make blanket statements like I "don't trust women"...so be it. I don't trust a LOT of people...untill I've been around them for a while. It's healthy. Only a fool leaves him/herself open to just anyone for exploitation.

Just like other dominant women in this thread have already stated...you don't have to be a female supremacist... to be a dominant female. I just think you can't stand the fact that some males will not put up with abuse and tend to question.Some do. With trust...comes the release of other parts of your persona. The ego is a muscle. Defenses are good. After trust is established...some of this can slowly disapate and deeper aspects of the self can be shared. But not with someone out to abuse and use you.

Absolutely not.

I don't care if you think I am a good man or not. Your judgements are naive at best.

< Message edited by sissifytoserve -- 10/31/2006 6:16:12 PM >

_____________________________

A great mind must be androgynous
Samuel Coleridge

The uniting of the feminine and the masculine is the highest form of human development Carl Jung

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 86

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 6:43:36 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

Because we can bring life into this world - we are far superior. Because men can't, does that make them less of a human, less worthy or less anything? No. Does that makes us more superior in the procreation department? Hell f** yeah. Again, it is what it IS.

Yanno, I hate to burst your bubble, but being better at one thing does not make women better. Otherwise, me being better at the one-handed shuffle would make me a better person than you.

Second, women need men to bring life into this world. Maybe not men, but sperm, and that either comes from men or whales. Granted, sperm can be frozen, while a uterus cannot, but men are still needed. Besides, without technology, even that wouldn't work, and you can bet your ass that artificial uteri are on their way.

Freeze the sperm, freeze the eggs, thaw 'em together, put 'em in the artificial uterus, and 9 months later, you have a baby.

Suddenly, we're both inferiour.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 87

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 7:21:23 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly
Did I write It is the attribute of "all" Mistresses?No. Here's My point of note to you: lighten yourself up. you jumped the gun.

In that event, I owe you an apology for I similarly jumped the gun.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

My question to you is if you hate women supremacists, why are you here then seeking a dominant woman?

When I read your question above, I thought you meant that if one hates women (female) supremacists, it is unreasonable for him to seek dominant women. And the conclusion I then drew was that you must believe all dominant women must be female supremacists. My reasoning was that if you felt not all dominant women are female supremacists then you would feel that it would be fine for someone who did not subscribe to female supremacy to seek dominant women. In that event, I would think you would not have asked a man who opposed female supremacy why he sought dominant women.

Clearly I have missed something. And so if you would clarify what you did mean when you asked that question (why a man who hates female supremacists seeks dominant women), it would help anyone who misunderstood you to understand what you truly meant.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 88

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 7:30:07 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

As to female supremacists:
If we take supremacy to mean:

quote:

1 : highest in rank or authority; supreme authority or power

per the dictionary, than a female dominant is acting in the role of a female supremacist, but I could always be wrong. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 10/31/2006 7:31:45 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 89

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 7:30:36 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavebarry

please can anyone help as to why it is so difficult to meet a dominant female for a (no fees) relationship, it seems like after writing to nearly every dominant female on this site there is still very little to show for my efforts,whats wrong with females on here dont they want a slave.

Well, see, you're in the UK, you have to deal with exchange rates, the Euro, all that shit.

This, of course, is a US owned web site...ergo...you're fucked.

(Sorry about that).

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to slavebarry)

Post #: 90

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 7:33:08 PM

sissifytoserve

Posts: 1016
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

Any supremacist to me is not my friend.....

Christian supremacists
Female supremacists
White supremacists
Black supremacists
Muslim supremacists
male supremacists

ad nauseaum.

_____________________________

A great mind must be androgynous
Samuel Coleridge

The uniting of the feminine and the masculine is the highest form of human development Carl Jung

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 91

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 7:49:31 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

As to female supremacists:
If we take supremacy to mean:
quote:

1 : highest in rank or authority; supreme authority or power
per the dictionary, than a female dominant is acting in the role of a female supremacist, but I could always be wrong. M

I think you are right and part of the issue with supremacy may be that it is often used interchangeably with superiority. I think one reason this equivalence is sometimes made is that often female supremacists believe in female superiority and point to the superiority as the basis for the supremacy.

That MistressDolly states her belief in female superiority likely affects how her reference to female supremacy has been interpretted in her posts.

Even with the distinction between female supremacy and female superiority made, the term in its literal sense suggests all women assume a supreme role to all men. I do enjoy the idea of female supremacy in a BDSM sense and can do it without confusing it with superiority. I enjoy assuming a subordinate role before a woman who assumes a supreme role. However, I don't see this dynamic to be true with every woman. I also recognize not all women wish for such a role, and not all men enjoy the subordinate role as I do. It is the absolute, universal application of supremacy that brings me to disagree with this idea beyond play.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 10/31/2006 7:54:29 PM >

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 92

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 9:33:12 PM

Mikal

Posts: 3673
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea I agree with you and added a comment to share additional thoughts without attempting to disagree with your words :)

lol... I wasn't directing the Oops! post to you per se... I read your post & saw that mine could be taken to mean that I don't approve of supremist attitude in play (I don't, but that's just my personal view & whatnot), whereas I meant in "real" life... *sigh... yet another luv of a sub... out of my range

*

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 93

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 10/31/2006 9:56:27 PM

subfever

Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sissifytoserve

...I would recommend anyone reading this to stay the hell away from any AMA connected psychiatrists. They are drug pushers for the most part. If you aren't a danger to yourself..or society...you have no need for one. Better to educate yourself..

I agree wholeheartedly.

(in reply to sissifytoserve)

Post #: 94

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 11/1/2006 4:42:43 AM

Morrigel

Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

As to female supremacists:
If we take supremacy to mean:
quote:

1 : highest in rank or authority; supreme authority or power
per the dictionary, than a female dominant is acting in the role of a female supremacist, but I could always be wrong. M

Yeah, that's pretty much my take on the subject. When I say "Female Supremacy", I am certainly not talking about the ridiculous websites that basically sell femme-domme porn and spout hate rhetoric in which they substitute the word "woman" for the word "Aryan" and "female gender" for "white race". Bleah.

--M

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 95

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 11/1/2006 5:15:23 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavebarry

please can anyone help as to why it is so difficult to meet a dominant female for a (no fees) relationship, it seems like after writing to nearly every dominant female on this site there is still very little to show for my efforts,whats wrong with females on here dont they want a slave.

I have something to add that may not have been addressed.

I've stated on here & elsewhere that I do not collect tributes nor have I ever exchanged anything (i.e. money, gifts, etc) for any form of interaction. Yet every day I have people (men & women) write to me in either email or instant message telling me that they wish to pay me, tribute me, gift me & they ask me to basically name my price or ask me if I have a wish list. I've even had a few offers made to me face to face at a live event.

It takes two to tango as they say. The problem isn't so much about the one asking to be paid... those out there offering to pay has greatly contributed to this 'pro scene' growing to the proportion that it is today.

I have to admit, there have been some rather tempting offers made to me over the years & I have had many close friends tell me that if it was offered to them, they would take it... I just can't do it.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to slavebarry)

Post #: 96

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 11/1/2006 5:45:44 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

My question to you is if you hate women supremacists, why are you here then seeking a dominant woman?

<snip>

Clearly I have missed something. And so if you would clarify what you did mean when you asked that question (why a man who hates female supremacists seeks dominant women), it would help anyone who misunderstood you to understand what you truly meant.

I appreciate that your post in which you asked the question quoted above was intended to be positive and helpful and feel I responded with a spirit not consistent with yours, for which I apologize.

The point that Fm does not necessarily equate to female supremacy has been stated and from my perspective the discussion can continue. I think the note about the clarification I mention above is unnecessary for the discussion at hand and I retract it.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 11/1/2006 5:58:26 AM >

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 97

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 11/1/2006 6:07:33 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

My question to you is if you hate women supremacists, why are you here then seeking a dominant woman?

Just a point of note here Dolly.....not all dominant women are supremacists. I personally have no regard for that line of thinking. If it's your thing, fine, but please don't go lumping all fem doms in one category, or telling men that supremacy is the only thing they'll find when seeking a dom fem. It's far from the truth.

Did I write It is the attribute of "all" Mistresses?No. Here's My point of note to you: lighten yourself up. you jumped the gun.

Hey now. You're the one who posted to a guy here on a site seeking a dominant female that he shouldn't be here if he disagrees with superiority. You did make a generalization. He has every right to be here to seek out a domina who is not into superiority.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 98

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 11/1/2006 6:09:39 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
As to female supremacists:
If we take supremacy to mean:
quote:

1 : highest in rank or authority; supreme authority or power
per the dictionary, than a female dominant is acting in the role of a female supremacist, but I could always be wrong

I think you are right and part of the issue with supremacy may be that it is often used interchangeably with superiority. I think one reason this equivalence is sometimes made is that often female supremacists believe in female superiority and point to the superiority as the basis for the supremacy.
Sea

I know what you're saying, and in the case of saying all women (any group) are superior, one stands on shaky ground. So for myself, I do make the distinction that it is the role I take within a relationship with a sub/slave... If the word itself without further inquiry as to why I use it makes some boys itchy/uncomfortable, what can I say? M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 99

RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female - 11/1/2006 6:10:10 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly
Did I write It is the attribute of "all" Mistresses?No. Here's My point of note to you: lighten yourself up. you jumped the gun.

In that event, I owe you an apology for I similarly jumped the gun.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

My question to you is if you hate women supremacists, why are you here then seeking a dominant woman?

*snipped stuff*

Sea, she wasn't going after you.....it was ME she was telling off.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 100

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