quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

Yech.  So many of the posts to these forums are so incredibly repulsive and misogynistic.  And yet these guys genuinely seem to think it's some kind of strange coincidence that no one wants to be with them.

A word to those of you who can still listen:  the one sure way to guarantee that women will not like you, is not to like women.  Despite everything you've been taught by all those episodes of Married With Children and The Man Show you've been watching, the natural order between men and women is not mutual loathing and paid sex.  The fact that there is a class of women who have learned to exploit your weaknesses as a person is no surprise:  you boys are a self-creating commodity.  You even have an evangelical tendency, in which you have achieved perfect non-functionality as men and you feel a desperate need to proselytize about the True Nature of Men and Women, so you can convince other men to be as dysfunctional and unhappy and miserably alone as you are--because it's the Manliest Way to Be.

Also, as a side note:  if all your friends and family have brought you to this state, and never taught you to view women as anything but the Enemy...is it really any surprise that a woman in your life would not like them?  Why would she want you to spend time with people who teach you to hate her and view her as an evil whore?  I'm not saying this is true in 100% of cases, but some men really have horrible, destructive families and friends who are misogynistic assholes--and those people have a vested interest in destroying his happiness with ANY woman, the "friends" in particular.  They'll drag him into strip clubs, throw sluts at him when he's drunk, mock and shame him if he tries to call and tell his girlfriend or wife he'll be late, show total disrespect for his feelings for his wife and children...I mean seriously, with friends like that, no one needs enemies.

--M 

I think a handful of the so-called 'submissive'  men  flocking to these sites are really men who secretly harbor deep-seeded anger, resentment and bitterness towards women.  These  "replusive and misogynistic" men have no luck in 'vanillaville' and unfortunately come here not to worship, adore and serve a Domme as they proclaim, but rather to have their feelings validated by the stereotypical mean, bitchy Domme.  For whatever reasons, probably a Mother who abandoned  or abused them, they will always secretly hate women.  And you're exactly right when you express that "these guys genuinely seem to think it's some kind of strange coincidence that no one wants to be with them."  - they have no clue their abhorrent feelings towards women are patent to us and everyone else who may read their posts.
 
Thank you for your contributions to these threads; I enjoy reading your posts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

The real question you want answered isn't "don't they want a real slave?" but "why don't they want me?" You need to take a look at WHY you have value, even without a Mistress.

There are some reasons why the Fem Doms who charge (and who make respectable Pros look bad) are seeking you out 1) you're a male submissive. 2) the fetishes you listed are commonly seen in those who seek out Pros. 3) This is the internet. These things happen.

There are also some reasons why you aren't getting responses, the main reason being the quality of your profile. While I'm sure that you mean everything you say with the utmost sincerity, it really doesn't do much for us. We hear grandious statements all the time. What we want to know is: What do you REALLY have to offer us? How will you serve? Who are you inside? What kind of relationship are you looking for? Think about these things, then revamp your profile. If you have a better picture, post it. You're looking scruffy and casual. Something along the lines of a passport photo in which you are neatly groomed would go a long way to helping.

quote:

I'm a "no-fees" Domme and I agree with a lot of what MasterFireMaam says but I'd also like to add that I look at other factors as well. After all, I'm not getting paid to do this. I'm doing this in my free time.

I'm not going to change my schedule or drive miles and miles in order to play. Any play is at my convenience. If that's too inconvenient for you, then too bad!

If real life intrudes and I can't play, then I don't want to hear any complaints or whining. My car breaks down occasionally; this doesn't mean I want you to pay for the car repair but you have to understand that this severely constrains my free time. My parents visit, ditto. I have to do laundry, ditto. Get the picture?

I try to extend a similar courtesy to the sub. I understand that he has to visit parents. I understand when work intrudes. I miss him but.... we're dealing with real life.

If I domming were my career, then I could devote 40+ hours a week to it. Since it isn't, the submissive gets whatever I have left after I finish taking care of real life.

<climbing off of soapbox>

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltman
Approach this as you would a vanilla relationship. Court someone who appeals to you. Make it clear that you're looking for an intimate relationship that transcends ropes, chains and safewords. If you only communicate your needs...you're going to attract those who will cater to your needs...when in fact it should be the other way around.
just my opinion
heartfeltman

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavebarry

please can anyone help as to why it is so difficult to meet a dominant female for a (no fees) relationship, it seems like after writing to nearly every dominant female on this site there is still very little to show for my efforts,whats wrong with females on here dont they want a slave. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: DivaDuchess

Okay, okay ... I wasn't going to post to this query because of the BILLIONS of other threads that are so very much the same ... but ...

First off ... change your profile.  As a Domme, I have no interest in the poetry of your ... whatever.  I would, though, like to know what your hobbies are, interests (besides the whiny stuff), pasttimes, education, employment ... the list goes on and on.  WE get so many alledged slaves whining like cry babies or making grand demands, it's irritating.  Now, on top of that ... you want to get all the talent, time and attention, plus a roof over your head, food and such ... free.  Your profile doesn't even mention what you bring to the House you would serve.  What is your background as a slave?  Have you had any training?

Do you see my point?

quote:

ORIGINAL: marcpiery

Is there anything else but "for fee" dominant women, or any other women for that matter? Whether it be the vanilla world or the BDSM world, women want two things: our money and control over our lives -- they whine about wanting this or that, and nag until we give in, then, they complain about our friends, our families, and nag us and bitch at us until we give up our friends and ignore our families. I believe that subconsciously, men are attracted to openly dominant women because they are at least honest about wanting to control us. This is also true for the men I have known that actively seek to date and marry prostitutes -- honesty. As for the fee part, until women stop viewing themselves as a commodity (i.e.: placing a value on their bodies or time), they will continue to dig into our wallets -- and until they realize that as soon as someone has paid/tithed/honored them for their behavior/time that they are automatically the sub, they will never truely know what dominance is. In the end, BDSM or vanilla, women will be women.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel
Yech.  So many of the posts to these forums are so incredibly repulsive and misogynistic.  And yet these guys genuinely seem to think it's some kind of strange coincidence that no one wants to be with them.

A word to those of you who can still listen:  the one sure way to guarantee that women will not like you, is not to like women.  Despite everything you've been taught by all those episodes of Married With Children and The Man Show you've been watching, the natural order between men and women is not mutual loathing and paid sex.  The fact that there is a class of women who have learned to exploit your weaknesses as a person is no surprise:  you boys are a self-creating commodity.  You even have an evangelical tendency, in which you have achieved perfect non-functionality as men and you feel a desperate need to proselytize about the True Nature of Men and Women, so you can convince other men to be as dysfunctional and unhappy and miserably alone as you are--because it's the Manliest Way to Be.

Also, as a side note:  if all your friends and family have brought you to this state, and never taught you to view women as anything but the Enemy...is it really any surprise that a woman in your life would not like them?  Why would she want you to spend time with people who teach you to hate her and view her as an evil whore?  I'm not saying this is true in 100% of cases, but some men really have horrible, destructive families and friends who are misogynistic assholes--and those people have a vested interest in destroying his happiness with ANY woman, the "friends" in particular.  They'll drag him into strip clubs, throw sluts at him when he's drunk, mock and shame him if he tries to call and tell his girlfriend or wife he'll be late, show total disrespect for his feelings for his wife and children...I mean seriously, with friends like that, no one needs enemies.
--M 

quote:

ORIGINAL: sissifytoserve

Funny...

I have plenty ofluck in "Vanillaville" as long as i don't bring up crossdressing. But have almost NO luck with finding a woman who can accept my crossdressing
and submissiveness.

I don't hate women.

I hate self righteousness and supremacist (Im better than you) attitudes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly
  My question to you is if you hate  women supremacists, why are you here then seeking a dominant woman?  
This is an attribute of  Mistresses' however . 

Just my view on things, but... I don't see "supremacist" and "dominant" as being mutually inclusive. I id as being a dominant (for the most part ), but I do not see myself as being supremist. In my lil' ol' world, a supremist is one who believes in the supremacy of one race, sex, or social group. This screams DANGER to me (as in antisemetics, white supremacy, etc.). I am a firm believer  'all people are equal', not 'all people are equal but some are more equal than others'.  I'm not trying to answer for sissify (he can do that quite well on his own! ), but in reading his posts and whatnot, is seems to me that he's come across the attitude of 'I'm better than you, so why are you wasting my time?... you are unworthy because I am worthy...' etc. sort of thing. These attitudes (imo) do not make a dom/me... they make an egocentric, narcissistic, and unhealthy person.

Now, my idea of supremist and yours may (and quite likely will) differ... and I hope they do (xyz-supremists scare the crappola out of me )... so, as I said, this is just my spin on things.

Thanks for reading  

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal
I don't see "supremacist" and "dominant" as being mutually inclusive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea 
These attitudes might carry some appeal for play--and some people might be assuming these attitudes for this reason--but I agree they carry little promise for a personal relationship.

Oops! Guess I should have clarified that...... In play, what attitudes people assume are one thing... But I'm talking about day-to-day attitudes; those that one uses in life in general, with everyone they happen to come into contact with... that, imo, are very unhealthy attitudes to have.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea 
These attitudes might carry some appeal for play--and some people might be assuming these attitudes for this reason--but I agree they carry little promise for a personal relationship.

Oops! Guess I should have clarified that...... In play, what attitudes people assume are one thing... But I'm talking about day-to-day attitudes; those that one uses in life in general, with everyone they happen to come into contact with... that, imo, are very unhealthy attitudes to have.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sissifytoserve

I don't hate women.

I hate self righteousness and supremacist (Im better than you) attitudes.