RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub?

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RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 11/11/2006 6:22:48 PM

subwantsamaster

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Joined: 11/2/2006
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Well I can say there is a mixed emotions. I agree, it s a risk living with HIV and into this lifestyle, but everyone is different. I have been with Doms who know what to do and how to do it. We do our sessionss just as if I wasnt sick. I disclosed my health because I got tired of repeating myself since no matter what, I cant hide and lie my health. To all those that still stand by me THANKS!! to all those that scorn me..U JUST WAIT!! and to those undecided..GET EDUCATED I realized over last yr ths isnt a death sentnce as it used to be, and I intend to live life to the fullest like its my last..

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RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 11/12/2006 2:39:53 PM

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Ok, you can crawl off your soapbox and be real for a moment. Because I would not own one who has HIV you equate that with my scorning you or needing to be educated, both are far from the truth. I know well what to do and for a session there would be no problem, but I am not interested in having to be that cautious on a permanent basis, hell I know I am not that dilligent. Herpes is not a death sentence, but I don't want it either. I like to play with blood to much to even consider it, that siad if my little one should wind up by some mishap with HIV, I would just have to deal with it.

K

(in reply to subwantsamaster)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 11/12/2006 3:14:49 PM

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I wouldn't take on a partner with a known life threatening health problem. I've been there and done that and I do not think I could set myself up for that heart-ache again knowingly.

Of course if Master became ill, well that's a different story, the relationship is established and my heart strings are already tied.

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Different Strokes for Different Folks

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(in reply to PlayfulOne)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 11/12/2006 4:25:19 PM

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From: Lancaster, California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

quote:

ORIGINAL: WildnWicked

I am also aware of the risk reduction behaviors and how to play safe(r) with someone. But, seriously ...it is universal precautions that should be used with EVERY person you play with.

Unless you are 100% sure someone is NOT infected with HIV, then you must assume that they ARE and make the proper adjustments. Unless you are through the window period and know for a fact that this person is monogamous with you and has been for up to the last six months (most folks have antibodies by three months though).. you simply do not know.

The point that most of us are making is that we aren't interested in just having BDSM play, we want a full relationship including sex. And for those of us interested in monogamous relationships that means fluid bonded. Which isn't safe with one positive and one negative. Hell, I'd worry about long hours kissing on the sofa if my partner was infected.

Celeste,

While you have a right to make choices that best suit your life, I make choices based on what suits my life.

There are MANY long term serodiscordant partners (one poz the other neg) that have very healthy sex lives. Risk reduction behaviors are available. Condoms aren't the only way to reduce one's risk of contracting HIV.

The negative guys in those relationships probably have LESS chance of getting HIV than most of the people I know who are simply out there banging away with multiple partners.

Restating what I quoted above.. If you are not 100% sure someone is NOT HIV+ then you have to assume that they could be.

If you would not play/screw someone who WAS HIV+ then why would you play/screw someone if you were less than 100% sure they were NOT HIV+?

Ignorance allows for risky behavior. If you don't know for sure they are not positive, you can rationalize and justify not using the universal precautions.

Here is an ass kicker... you can NEVER be 100% sure of anyone's status but your own.

_____________________________

We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.-- Marilyn Manson

(in reply to Celeste43)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 11/12/2006 4:42:32 PM

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From: Lancaster, California
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http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/women/resources/factsheets/women.htm

April 2006
Early in the epidemic, HIV infection and AIDS were diagnosed for relatively few women and female adolescents (in this fact sheet, referred to as women). Today, women account for more than one quarter of all new HIV/AIDS diagnoses. Women of color are especially affected by HIV infection and AIDS. In 2002 (the most recent year for which data are available), HIV infection was

the leading cause of death for African American women aged 25–34 years
the 3rd leading cause of death for African American women aged 35–44 years
the 4th leading cause of death for African American women aged 45–54 years and for Hispanic women aged 35–44.

In the same year, HIV infection was the 5th leading cause of death among all women aged 35–44 years and the 6th leading cause of death among all women aged 25–34 years. The only diseases causing more deaths of women were cancer and heart disease.

HIV/AIDS in 2004

Data from 35 areas with confidential name-based HIV reporting indicate that an estimated 10,410 women were given a diagnosis of HIV/AIDS.
Heterosexual contact was the source of 78% of these new infections .
Women accounted for 27% of the estimated 38,730 diagnoses of HIV/AIDS .
Of the 123,405 women living with HIV/AIDS, 64% were African American, 19% were white, 15% were Hispanic, less than 1% were Asians and Pacific Islanders, and less than 1% were American Indians and Alaska Natives.
Of the HIV/AIDS diagnoses for women during 2001–2004, an estimated 15% were for women aged 13–24 years

******************

Guys are so busy thinking they can't get it from women and many women lack control over their sexual health.. these two combined factors (plus many more) are killing us.

Taking control means having all the information. I do not live in fear nor do I live in ignorance. I enjoy life while minimizing the risks I take. I don't miss out unnecessarily and I don't walk blind.

I will say this much, it has messed with another lifestyle I am in. I have gone to parties and been like "OH HELL NO!" when I seen things going on that were just way too risky for me. Looked like hella fun.. but wasn't worth it for me. I won't even use dildo's or any other toys without condoms on them. Nope.

< Message edited by WildnWicked -- 11/12/2006 4:43:39 PM >

_____________________________

We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.-- Marilyn Manson

(in reply to WildnWicked)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 11/13/2006 1:47:53 AM

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I would not. My reasons are fairly simple, I am healthy and intend to stay that way. For that reason I won't accept someone who has AIDS, HIV, herpes, etc. Likewise I don't tolerate drug use or alcoholics (I've watched both kill people I cared about, including a grandmother and a fiance').

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to subwantsamaster)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 11/13/2006 4:49:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subwantsamaster

Hello all u Sirs' quick n simple...Would u conceder a HIV+ for a sub or not? please explain. ont worry i wont hold judgement, just curious ty have a ghood day

Sub or not, an STD test is not a consideration, it's a requirment which I participate in as well. If you have HIV or something else which brings harm to me, I can't take you on. I'm not going to sacrafice years of my life for the happiness of the other person. I can be friends, but that's as far as it can go. That's life. Thoughs with HIV and such should consider the options of being with others who have the same disease. It's what I would do. After all, it's only selfish to put someones life at risk for your own pleasures of being needed.

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 11/13/2006 4:56:52 AM >

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(in reply to subwantsamaster)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 11/13/2006 6:47:30 AM

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If I may speak freely.
I would hope that anyone entering into any sexual relationship would take all precautions to be safe. Play safe and play hard.
preciouspet

< Message edited by preciouspet -- 11/13/2006 6:51:30 AM >

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/16/2007 7:28:53 PM

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WAY TOO MUCH OF A HEALTH RISK.... if u repeatedly have sex with someone HIV+ you are insuring that you are going to contract the desease that will affect you forever.... having sex is not worth dieing

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/16/2007 8:06:43 PM

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An interesting question... and one I hadn't really thought of.

I'm at an odd age, where I grew up knowing nothing but the age of AIDS (yes, I know HIV and AIDS are different) and safer sex, but not quite knowing it as an automatic death sentence. My uncle and his partner both went through the steps... my uncle died eight months after being diagnosed, while his partner died just last year, a full fifteen years after being diagnosed.

When it's all said and done, I think I would take on a submissive/slave who was positive. If the mental connection was there, I don't think I'd let the fact they were sick stop things. But of course, I can't say for sure until I'm actually in the situation.

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It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

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RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/16/2007 8:06:45 PM

MaryT

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subwantsamaster

Hello all u Sirs' quick n simple...Would u conceder a HIV+ for a sub or not?

Or to subs: Would you consider having coffee with a Dom who refused such test? If so, have you ever considered simply slitting your wrists for Dom who wished it?

Sheesh ... please Ron, come say something wise, cutting and funny.

MaryT

(in reply to subwantsamaster)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/16/2007 10:41:59 PM

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There has been no documented cases of contracting HIV or AIDS from salivia. If and only if there are sores in or around the mouth can you "catch" HIV or AIDS from kissing.

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He says she is immodest; Blames her amiss; What follows more, she murders with a kiss

(in reply to Celeste43)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/17/2007 1:52:50 AM

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To answer the OP, yes I would consider such a submissive, and with few if any reservations.

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RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/17/2007 7:24:14 AM

Aubre

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I would, but then again I keep subs in chastity belts.

When I do have sex it is always safe sex because as KRS-One said:

"Jimmy hats are now in style 'cause you can't trust a big butt and a smile."

I don't mind wearing condoms for all forms of sex.

< Message edited by Aubre -- 1/17/2007 7:27:32 AM >

(in reply to sleazy)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/17/2007 3:29:52 PM

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If it was purely domestic service, I wont mind at all and as others have said with precautions.

If it was a purely SM non sexual play partner, I cant give an honest answer because I am not completely educated on the subject of cleaning and decontaminating of toys. If I was able to research and come up with solid methods of protection, then probably

If it was sexual based service (which to be honest is more or less the kind of service I am interested in because I am a healthy 23 year old man who has reached a point in his life where pure domestic service is equal), then no. Its just not going to happen.

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(in reply to Aubre)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/17/2007 4:11:37 PM

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Absolutely. It is a requirement to anyone I play with and my slaves to be tested every three months. So I have no problems doing it myself. I feel that it is apart of being Safe, Sane, and Consentual in these times of ours

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/18/2007 8:33:37 AM

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Short answer is yes.
I am a dominant and my love has HIV and I knew it before we had sex together and no I don’t have some sort of death wish.

Why did I go ahead?

If it were just a question of sex or play I probably would not have become involved but the attraction ran much stronger from day one and has become a deep and binding love. I love her and she loves me. This should be reason enough but for the purpose of enlightening some, I’ll elaborate.

What about the risks to my health?
HIV is not AIDS. It can lead to AIDS but a diagnosis is not a death warrant because HIV is manageable. She was infected over 20 years ago and is healthy. Unlike other manageable diseases like diabetes, HIV is contagious but by taking rather ordinary precautions the likelihood of transmission can be reduced to a negligible level. For love this negligible risk is worthwhile to me. If I ride my bike I improve my quality of life by exercising, I also increase my risk of dying by getting hit by a bus. I consider the risk verses the reward as being worth it.

That kind of covers the risk to my health but what about the emotional risk of potentially losing her and the pain of loss?

I am a widower so I have experience.
My love is healthy and healthful. If she were neglectful of herself and didn’t do the things that are necessary for her longevity I would not have become involved. Just as I would pass on someone with a heart condition who smokes. That would reflect badly on their mental health and attitudes about self. But her healthfulness adds to my life like no one I have ever know.

Good enough reasons?

(in reply to subwantsamaster)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/18/2007 5:02:42 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subwantsamaster

Hello all u Sirs' quick n simple...Would u conceder a HIV+ for a sub or not? please explain. ont worry i wont hold judgement, just curious ty have a ghood day

Yes, and the submissive would for me, as well.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to subwantsamaster)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/18/2007 5:36:12 PM

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A couple of people seem to have misread the OP, which I did as well... the question isn't whether or not you'd take an HIV test, but rather whether you would take someone who was HIV positive (+) as a sub.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to Level)

RE: Would u take a HIV+ for a sub? - 1/18/2007 5:56:01 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SmokingGun82

A couple of people seem to have misread the OP, which I did as well... the question isn't whether or not you'd take an HIV test, but rather whether you would take someone who was HIV positive (+) as a sub.

Ahhhh, I see now, thanks for the clarification, Smoking Gun.

The answer to that is yes, I would. It might be in a soley service-oriented role, and if there were emotional bonds strong enough, in more intimate ways, keeping in mind always safety.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

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