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RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/19/2006 1:22:36 AM   
CuteBrute


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Joined: 10/9/2006
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In my experience, the cerebral attributes--intelligence, wit, etc.--are more attractive to most women than cuteness or a nice physique. The problem is that those qualities don't become apparent until the woman takes time to talk to the guy, whereas the tall, muscular, handsome guy gets noticed just for existing.

As a "hot" guy (I don't mean to sound cocky, but I know that I am), I'm well aware how easy it is to say something asinine or dumb-jock-ish and INSTANTLY make a woman who was initially interested in me think I'm about as sexy as a hangnail. Sometimes I almost wish I were a Woody Allen who can charm a woman past his dweebish looks, rather than a big cute meathead who attracts women easily and inevitably un-attracts them with his mouth. I mean, it's like I have to say at least one painfully dumb thing every time I talk to a woman. It's as if I have a quota to fill and my subconscious is making sure the job gets done.

< Message edited by CuteBrute -- 11/19/2006 1:49:09 AM >

(in reply to AlexAussieSub)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/19/2006 6:58:24 AM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexAussieSub

Proves my point, if he'd said something to you along the lines of what say Marcpiery wrote, then even though he had the perfect body he wouldn't have got anywhere.


No, if your point is that looks can't get you past someone who's being actively and deliberately repugnant--you're dead right about that.  People can ignore only so much.  I am sure that a beautiful woman can say many things that will make a man immediately excuse himself from the table as well, no matter how great she looks in a mini-dress.

--M 

(in reply to AlexAussieSub)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/19/2006 8:59:02 AM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I wouldn't worry about saying dumb things.  I've never relied on my looks.  Comparatively, I've always considered myself much less attractive than the girls I grew up around.  I was quiet, nervous and severely shy.  And a geek, nerd, I was in the marching band, drama, etc.. You get the point.  And yet over the time of my young life, as I came out of my shell I started to realize that (and be told by male friends) that a lot of my guy friends had humongous crushes on me or at one point in time or another had fallen for me.  I for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.  I was awkward, I always felt like I was saying stupid shit, I thought that most of my random references were completely lost of some of my friends, let alone being a blonde and having some severe blonde moments and clumsy ass faceplants.

I guess all that was fine and well until I came out as a bisexual in the last couple years of high school had something to do with all of a sudden becoming way more .....approachable in the eyes of all the "popular" types (guys mainly).  Oh yeah, and this girl that I had met through the guy I dated in my senior year from another school.  She was friends of his family and actually was on the outskirts of my town next to his and was a freshman or sophomore at the time at my school and would repeatedly attack me, make out with me and knock me down/into things and basically mount me in the hallways.  Needless to say, that got her attention and inadvertantly got me attention too.  lol

And to this day, I still say some -very- stupid shit,  I still have -very- blonde moments and I'm still a -huge- clutz.

Yet those that matter most, see me for me, and accept all my little quirks.  As long as that stupid comment isn't racist, demeaning, downright mean or anything of a less than savory intent, I don't see why people should make such snap judgements about people.  Actions and attitudes go a long way.  If I know someone means well and they just happen to have something that kinda slips out and comes out wrong (which we've all done), then I laugh about it and move on.

Those things aren't really -that- important in the long run, are they?

I think that the things that people should be looking for are the tell-tale signs of an asshole, racist, you know, those less than savory characters that hopefully none of us really want to find ourselves involved with.

Wow....could I have made that any longer?


_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to CuteBrute)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/19/2006 11:13:40 AM   
CuteBrute


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Joined: 10/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

Wow....could I have made that any longer?



No, I appreciate what you wrote. You've got a good point. I'm never intentionally mean, so I probably shouldn't worry about it so much.

BTW, you should try being a guy who's known as the resident dumb blond. Two people in two different social circles SEPARATELY nicknamed me "golden retriever." I was at least smart enough not to make my situation worse by telling them about each other. :D (And now I have to hope they never read this message board.)


(in reply to Aine)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/19/2006 11:34:03 AM   
TreSwank


Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

I wouldn't worry about saying dumb things.  I've never relied on my looks.  Comparatively, I've always considered myself much less attractive than the girls I grew up around.  I was quiet, nervous and severely shy.  And a geek, nerd, I was in the marching band, drama, etc.. You get the point.  And yet over the time of my young life, as I came out of my shell I started to realize that (and be told by male friends) that a lot of my guy friends had humongous crushes on me or at one point in time or another had fallen for me.  I for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. 


  Well, there are two several different distinctions of hotness........but the main two are HOT, HOT, and Suicide Girl's Hot.  HOT, HOT is what good-looking jockish boys land in high school................hot, but probably lacking substance.  Suicide Girl's Hot, is the alternative that certain groups of boys turn to after they realize that they don't have a shot in hell at banging sexy-as-shit cheerleader, Cindy Morgan. (the most popular girl at school.)   Suicide Girl's Hot IS still hot, mind you, but it's a kind of "second best" hot, where boys turn when jock-loving cheerleaders shoot em' down.

  I had a similar problem in high-school..........being decent-looking, but too shy to approach most girls (except for the UBER-nice ones).  Later, I found out that quite a few girls had crushes on me - but my borderline neurotic reticent manner had shunned them away.  Until I finally GREW-UP and lost my shyness at the age of eighteen after getting shipped out to good ol' Groton, CT (shithole U.S.A), I always got stuck with the "second-best" hot girls...........you know, the pretty ones who considered themselves to be pariahs from the existing social order.  In Groton, where Navy wives will fuck pretty much ANYTHING (even me) when their husbands are on deployment, I learned to drop any hint of shyness around women.   Perhaps your geekiness was similar to my shyness, and acted as sort of a blinder for you.

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 11/19/2006 11:39:20 AM >

(in reply to Aine)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/19/2006 11:34:26 AM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
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While I will even name -myself- as the resident dumb blonde....I know for a fact that while sometimes I'm a little addle-brained, I'm no dummy.

And I would never associate with those that maliciously called me that.  As a joke, hey that is fine.  If I find that a person's "joke" is something other than that, they will politely be told to have a wonderful life and be well wished into finding more people just like them, since that is what they seem to be looking for, and move on with my life and surround myself with people that actually -care- about me.

It was a hard lesson learned and I've lost a lot of "friends" in the past bunch of years since high school, but I realized that I just don't need to be around those that are clinging to the high school mentality for dear life since it seems they can't seem to find themselves well enough to get past it.


_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to CuteBrute)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/21/2006 8:50:40 AM   
Soulhuntre


Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel
No, if your point is that looks can't get you past someone who's being actively and deliberately repugnant--you're dead right about that.  People can ignore only so much.  I am sure that a beautiful woman can say many things that will make a man immediately excuse himself from the table as well, no matter how great she looks in a mini-dress.


True and well said. I never ceases to amaze me how no matter how long I take a break from somewhere (real life group,m message board, mailing list) when I come back some variation of the same conversatiosn ae in place. Commonly that inclused at least one discussiont ryng hard to talk away the obvious reality.

Hotness matters. It matters for guys, it matters for girls.

Is it the only factor? No.
Will being hot absolve you of being an idiot? No, not commonly.

However my practical advice to male subs lookign for owners is the same as my advice to the females - maximize your value in all regards. Improve your service skills and improve your body as much as you can.

Ken

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/21/2006 8:54:38 AM   
Soulhuntre


Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank
Well, there are two several different distinctions of hotness........but the main two are HOT, HOT, and Suicide Girl's Hot.  HOT, HOT is what good-looking jockish boys land in high school................hot, but probably lacking substance.  Suicide Girl's Hot, is the alternative that certain groups of boys turn to after they realize that they don't have a shot in hell at banging sexy-as-shit cheerleader, Cindy Morgan. (the most popular girl at school.)   Suicide Girl's Hot IS still hot, mind you, but it's a kind of "second best" hot, where boys turn when jock-loving cheerleaders shoot em' down.


Obviously hotness has many cores and variations (I would love breaking her hot vs. wow, I bet she would blow a cab driver for fare money hot) but in essense you are correct. I tend to think of it as "model hot" and "mall hot". Mall hot is a kind of conditional hotness. Model hot is simply   measure of genetic perfection.

What I do find amusing is how many peopel think that "suicide girls" style chicks are inherantly deeper or more substantial. I am not sure why that is. There was a time when it took some guts to be that alternative but those days are long gone. Don't get me wrong, some of them are hot enough - but I don;t look at a lip ring and say "wow! she must be DEEP!".

Ken

(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/21/2006 9:28:37 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sissifytoserve

Yup....sissies get almost no play when compared to masculine subs.


I dunno....at a femdom party with a bunch of jockish types and one slender, frail, pretty, femme or androgynous looking genderbent boi, the pretty femme will definitely get action.  I'll certainly be ignoring the jocks to check out the sexy girl-boi.  If I almost can't tell what gender he is and there's long hair and elf ears and/or Ren Faire garb involved, then it's drool time.  Yum.

Unfortunately the genderbent look is hard to carry off if you don't have the right frame, or if you don't have the body language, or if you don't take enough care with your appearance (eg, not shaving).  A 300 lb dude with beard stubble who is cross dressed doesn't do it for me.  A basically manly looking man who wants to be sissified and puts the responsibility for his appearance on someone else also doesn't do anything for me.  A taller or larger girl-boi who wants to present as pretty and feminine can still carry it off if sie has the graceful, deferential mannerisms and soft voice done properly. 


(in reply to sissifytoserve)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/21/2006 9:33:18 AM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

I wouldn't worry about saying dumb things.  I've never relied on my looks.  Comparatively, I've always considered myself much less attractive than the girls I grew up around.  I was quiet, nervous and severely shy.  And a geek, nerd, I was in the marching band, drama, etc.. You get the point.  And yet over the time of my young life, as I came out of my shell I started to realize that (and be told by male friends) that a lot of my guy friends had humongous crushes on me or at one point in time or another had fallen for me.  I for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. 


Well, there are two several different distinctions of hotness........but the main two are HOT, HOT, and Suicide Girl's Hot.  HOT, HOT is what good-looking jockish boys land in high school................hot, but probably lacking substance.  Suicide Girl's Hot, is the alternative that certain groups of boys turn to after they realize that they don't have a shot in hell at banging sexy-as-shit cheerleader, Cindy Morgan. (the most popular girl at school.)   Suicide Girl's Hot IS still hot, mind you, but it's a kind of "second best" hot, where boys turn when jock-loving cheerleaders shoot em' down.

I had a similar problem in high-school..........being decent-looking, but too shy to approach most girls (except for the UBER-nice ones).  Later, I found out that quite a few girls had crushes on me - but my borderline neurotic reticent manner had shunned them away.  Until I finally GREW-UP and lost my shyness at the age of eighteen after getting shipped out to good ol' Groton, CT (shithole U.S.A), I always got stuck with the "second-best" hot girls...........you know, the pretty ones who considered themselves to be pariahs from the existing social order.  In Groton, where Navy wives will fuck pretty much ANYTHING (even me) when their husbands are on deployment, I learned to drop any hint of shyness around women.   Perhaps your geekiness was similar to my shyness, and acted as sort of a blinder for you.


*chuckles*
Amen about Groton being Shithole, USA.  I grew up in Waterford.  Aside from East Lyme, it was one of the snottier high schools and just grew steadily worse after my older brother's class left.  But something I noticed around the time of my senior year after I came out of my shell and actually "befriended" more people, I realized that a lot of the guys (since I never really got along with many females...catty things, really *grins*) seemed like they felt they -had- to vie (sp?) for the "popular" girls'attentions.  And once some of them really sat down to talk to girls "like me" they saw the differences, and felt more comfortable in their own skins.

And amen about navy wives.  I have told my current boyfriend that if I -ever- become in any way like the typical navy wife, to shoot me.  Thank god I have morals and believe in monogomy and have a severe love for my battery operated "friends".

And as for my geekiness being a blinder, I completely agree.  And to this day I catch myself still using it from time to time when I'm nervous.  But there's also a part of me that has embraced the inner geek and uses it for laugh factor at times.  Actually....a lot.  Heh.


_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/21/2006 4:12:33 PM   
AlexAussieSub


Posts: 70
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

No, if your point is that looks can't get you past someone who's being actively and deliberately repugnant--you're dead right about that.  People can ignore only so much.  I am sure that a beautiful woman can say many things that will make a man immediately excuse himself from the table as well, no matter how great she looks in a mini-dress.

--M 



Morrigel, I wouldn't be so sure. If any girls in Melbourne are interested I knew some guys in high school (mostly reasonable looking too) who would do things like ask girls they were trying to chat up what they're favourite porno was withing five minutes of meeting them. If anyone actually went out on a date with them, I would be willing to bet money there would be nothing they could say to make them lose interest.

Re: the original topic, looks do count, but they're really only icing on the cake.

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/24/2006 6:34:30 AM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Actually, for me, I do not seek any one type of male.  I actually steer clear of the trophy subs.  The sub has to be interesting in some way.  A good mind, a kind sense of humor and a medium build.  Since I stick within my own age bracket,  I cut some slack to the silver foxes :)


For those of us who still have hair that is no longer its original color and has long since turned some shade of gray or "silver", thank you for saying that!

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/24/2006 6:37:32 AM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexAussieSub

Morrigel, I wouldn't be so sure. If any girls in Melbourne are interested I knew some guys in high school (mostly reasonable looking too) who would do things like ask girls they were trying to chat up what they're favourite porno was withing five minutes of meeting them. 


Am I the only woman on the planet who doesn't find that question offensive?

Ditto on the pictures of the human penis.  Am I the only woman on earth who doesn't think a penis is ugly and repulsive?

Sorry, OT I know, but sometimes I really wonder about these things.

--M

(in reply to AlexAussieSub)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/24/2006 7:13:48 AM   
LadyClaudiaVan


Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexAussieSub

girls by telling them that they should become Dommes because they "only wanted two things: our money and control over our lives", or that because I thought women were commodities anyway that I was thinking of looking for prostitutes for dating and marriage because they were honest about this, but you've saved me the trouble.

Thanks,

Alex


My Sissy, Alex, had this same bitter attitude towards women

once before but since then has come a long way.

And men too but I agree with you those attitudes wouldnt get anyone far no matter what they looked like.

(in reply to AlexAussieSub)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: Do physically "hot" male subs get more ac... - 11/24/2006 9:18:28 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
Here is my 2 cents worth.  I have turned down getting to know many submissives that I considered
"high maintenance". 
Maybe I was wrong to do this, BUT, I was attracted to the "pretty boys" for many years.
I went out with and dated my share {vanilla of  course}.
Personally, they always made me terribly self conscious and usually intimidated and dealing
with them was always a job.
I do not seek a "high maintenance" submissive, you can have them!!
LOL

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LadyClaudiaVan)
Profile   Post #: 135
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