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RE: Lying. - 11/12/2006 9:02:57 PM

Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline

I don't mean to pick on any one person here, 'cause lots are doing it - it's just that this was the best example of what I'm being unhappy with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Exactly.. I have seen many posts like this and have seen many people say... You want to embaress your sub as punishment so you are usieng us to punish her without our consent... leave us out of your personal life and your punishments!!!

You consented when you read the thread, and consented even further when you posted to it.

If someone posts something that you don't think they should have posted, then go on to another topic - if it's truly off-topic, the mods will take care of it pretty effectively. Peer moderation is mostly catty, futile, and decidedly not something I'm ever going to respect.

=-=-=-
In reply to the OP - personally, a lie to me from my sub would result in a safeword - mine. That is behavior that I simply will not accept - a second offense is the most that anyone will have a chance for.

That said, if public humiliation is what he's going for, a publicly-posted apology, confessing to the crime, would probably be more effective and less likely to be hijacked with cries of "oh, he shouldn't have had you post that".

If he wants to give another chance to someone who has proven that they cannot be trusted, then the punishment should fit the crime - in other words, it'd be easier for me to offer suggestions if I knew what it was you'd lied about.

Midnight Writer

_____________________________

Benevolent Dictator of TIES - Tremendously Intense Erotic Situations. If you're local to Mpls-St.Paul, MN, you may want to check us out. The web site is at http://www.ties-bdsm.org and the Munches are monthly.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Lying. - 11/12/2006 9:17:38 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: emdoub

I don't mean to pick on any one person here, 'cause lots are doing it - it's just that this was the best example of what I'm being unhappy with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Exactly.. I have seen many posts like this and have seen many people say... You want to embaress your sub as punishment so you are usieng us to punish her without our consent... leave us out of your personal life and your punishments!!!

You consented when you read the thread, and consented even further when you posted to it.

If someone posts something that you don't think they should have posted, then go on to another topic - if it's truly off-topic, the mods will take care of it pretty effectively. Peer moderation is mostly catty, futile, and decidedly not something I'm ever going to respect.

=-=-=-
In reply to the OP - personally, a lie to me from my sub would result in a safeword - mine. That is behavior that I simply will not accept - a second offense is the most that anyone will have a chance for.

That said, if public humiliation is what he's going for, a publicly-posted apology, confessing to the crime, would probably be more effective and less likely to be hijacked with cries of "oh, he shouldn't have had you post that".

If he wants to give another chance to someone who has proven that they cannot be trusted, then the punishment should fit the crime - in other words, it'd be easier for me to offer suggestions if I knew what it was you'd lied about.

Midnight Writer

What I find funny is you cut out PART of my post to pick on now if you would have coppied the entire post mainly the part after that that said that I only partly agreed with that beeing said then you would have had nothing to pick on... funny how you selected what you wanted to in order to make your point.. a point wich is moot if you would have posted my ENTIRE reply!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to emdoub)

RE: Lying. - 11/12/2006 9:18:13 PM

Posts: 84
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline

Jeezus! There's an 18 year old girl on here, who is concerned about the dynamic of her relationship, is apparently at least relatively new to BDSM, and she's being made fun of? I'd rather she (and anyone else, for that matter), ask about a bruise here than rationalize abuse as kink. Not that she's being abused, but she's wondering. And her master *made* her post for punishment on here... a universally dorky thing for a master to do, but she's pretty freaking young to be flamed off the scene and left to figure shit out for herself, isn't she?

My two cents is that she and her master both probably have a lot to learn. And learning it here is cheaper than buying a dozen books.

(in reply to byule)

RE: Lying. - 11/12/2006 9:20:56 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I think its pretty stupid of anyone to rely on this place to learn!!!

This is the last place that I would send peoople as an ONLY resort to learning!!!

Magik's slave

Edited to add because people post here mostly on opinion and very little based on fact psts here are s subjectable and teach very little most of the time.

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 11/12/2006 9:27:55 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to empresschaos)

RE: Lying. - 11/12/2006 9:30:05 PM

Posts: 84
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline

*defeated sigh* point taken, MS.... sadly, you're right...

Theoretically, though, it's such a great potential resource...

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Lying. - 11/12/2006 9:34:17 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: empresschaos

*defeated sigh* point taken, MS.... sadly, you're right...

Theoretically, though, it's such a great potential resource...

Yes theoritcally, It does have such potential, but then you get threads like these that are really only drama and a cause of confution for people searching for real information on the lifestyle. Personaly i dont think an 18yo should be collard!! No more then I think an 18yo should be married or be a parent!!! She has so much left to learn befor settleing down and comiting to someone and honestly I do blaim age for some of their confution not to mention the messyness that comes with poly and the fact that he is married.. Honestly its a recepie for dissaster if you ask me and its really sad!!

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 11/12/2006 9:59:22 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to empresschaos)

RE: Lying. - 11/12/2006 9:55:00 PM

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: empresschaos

Jeezus! There's an 18 year old girl on here, who is concerned about the dynamic of her relationship...

Maybe it's just me but I didnt get this impression at all.
I got the impression that her master sent her to as for some kinky punishment ideas after she lied to him. I didnt take it as a request for relationship advice or even "education about the lifestyle."

To the OP: Perhaps your master could enforce a No Speaking rule for an extended (hours or days) period of time so that you will be more aware that what comes out of your mouth does produce consequences.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to empresschaos)

RE: Lying. - 11/12/2006 11:20:20 PM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

My Dom would not demand i post something so personal between us online. He would have His punishment occur immediately and now worry what anyone else thinks or wants. I did think the reading a book suggestion was a great idea for both you and your Master.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to arkansasheather)

RE: Lying. - 11/12/2006 11:22:01 PM

Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: emdoub

I don't mean to pick on any one person here, 'cause lots are doing it - it's just that this was the best example of what I'm being unhappy with.

What I find funny is you cut out PART of my post to pick on now if you would have coppied the entire post mainly the part after that that said that I only partly agreed with that beeing said then you would have had nothing to pick on... funny how you selected what you wanted to in order to make your point.. a point wich is moot if you would have posted my ENTIRE reply!!!

And I trimmed the blazes out of that one, too. As I said (and you quoted), I wasn't pointing any fingers at anyone - just the behavior, of which many were guilty.

I *often* choose to quote just what's needed to make my point - while avoiding misrepresentation by taking things out of context. If you think I'm misrepresenting you, feel free to point that out - checking back a few posts to see the original isn't difficult for anyone. Personally, I dislike overquoting, though I rarely bitch about it.

No, my point is *not* moot. Especially as I tried to make it clear that it wasn't just you (or even primarily you) who were objecting to the OP posting the question, sneering at the dom for telling her to, or otherwise making this an enjoyable place to discuss topics, rather than a vicious and dangerous place to post.

Deal.

Midnight Writer

_____________________________

Benevolent Dictator of TIES - Tremendously Intense Erotic Situations. If you're local to Mpls-St.Paul, MN, you may want to check us out. The web site is at http://www.ties-bdsm.org and the Munches are monthly.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 12:16:46 AM

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline

This question is a joke. Lying and relationships, especially M/s relationships, are mutually exclusive. Whatever you two thought you had together, you were both wrong. Now, either you start over or you go have a nice day with someone else.

You might begin by talking to each other instead of us.

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 11/13/2006 12:40:08 AM >

(in reply to arkansasheather)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 3:00:08 AM

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Personaly i dont think an 18yo should be collard!! No more then I think an 18yo should be married or be a parent!!! She has so much left to learn befor settleing down and comiting to someone and honestly I do blaim age for some of their confution

Magik your profile states you are only 22 so four years gives you a wealth of knowlege?

(in reply to Kirata)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 4:49:48 AM

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

He'd also know that doms who "make their subs post stuff online" pretty much immediately gets him shoved into the "dork dom of the decade" category.

Who cares about punishment? An effective master gets down the root of the insecurity which caused the problem to begin with, has a long thoughtful discussion about why it happened, how it happened, how it won't happen again, rethinks seriously his training methods and if they need to be adjusted in any way for the future and then, if he seriously thinks you need a closure and final exclamation point, makes some basic physical punishment which is DIRECTLY related to the behavior in which he is trying to eliminate.

Telling your sub to go shill online for ideas is just a waste of time on everyone's part.

Well, except for the fun I get in writing these posts in response to them.

This is right on !!!!!!!

LBO

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 5:05:09 AM

byule

Posts: 31
Joined: 11/1/2006
Status: offline

There is no reason to point this out "empress" and speaking of age you are on such a defense for a 23 year old kid. Actually I did not flame her like you think I did. I'm not sure what your idea of flaming is?? Anywho If you go back and read my first post you will see that I gave her some good sights to go to for newbies.

(in reply to empresschaos)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 5:44:56 AM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

I think that is the rationality of the situation right there....

Public humiliation through disclosure.

Although, he probably is looking for new means of punishment (read: humiliation) in the process.

But, then I am willing to bet that many of the posters who were responding knew this, but were getting their "rocks off" poking fun at people on line...

And, I can appreciate that.

But, the whole 'mob mentality' thing - not ovetly cool.

~J

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I don't think people should be too hard on heathers master. Maybe he is just using the internet as some kinda tool to embarress her or something. I know Master did that to me once via a post, he wasn't asking for advice on punishment though, but it was embaressing..and the point hit home to me (can't remember what it was over now).

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to slavejali)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 5:47:36 AM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

So -

There can be no lying in a relationship, especially a m/s relationship... it is not possible... and, if it does happen it is all a wash without hope for recovery?

Interesting - please go on.

~J

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

This question is a joke. Lying and relationships, especially M/s relationships, are mutually exclusive. Whatever you two thought you had together, you were both wrong. Now, either you start over or you go have a nice day with someone else.

You might begin by talking to each other instead of us.

K.

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to Kirata)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 5:53:02 AM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

If nothing else - it seems people can learn that the people here might not be capable of assisting in a learning curve - except to understand that the people here might not be capable of assisting in a learning curve...

And, that they call people "stupid" for the attempt.

All of it is 'lessons'.

The expression of opinion gives others the basis for their own through retrospective analysis on their past and experiential base...

People compare what they read here (or, anywhere) and mull on it to form an opinion on the subject at hand (as well as others not in evidence)...

I come here to debate peoples ideas, to have fun in the process and to learn about people who I will (eventually) meet in my wanderings...

Sometimes, I realize that there is only one thing I learned - and, that is that I never want to meet them.

~J

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I think its pretty stupid of anyone to rely on this place to learn!!!

This is the last place that I would send peoople as an ONLY resort to learning!!!

Magik's slave

Edited to add because people post here mostly on opinion and very little based on fact psts here are s subjectable and teach very little most of the time.

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 6:11:19 AM

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline

So -

There can be no lying in a relationship, especially a m/s relationship... it is not possible... and, if it does happen it is all a wash without hope for recovery?

Interesting - please go on.

~J

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

This question is a joke. Lying and relationships, especially M/s relationships, are mutually exclusive. Whatever you two thought you had together, you were both wrong. Now, either you start over or you go have a nice day with someone else.

You might begin by talking to each other instead of us.

K.

Did you have something to say?

(in reply to LordODiscipline)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 6:18:19 AM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

I believe I did say wghat I had to - and - quite effectively - otherwise you would not be avoiding the question so directly.

However, if you shuold like to have it spelled out - please do continue.

~J

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline

So -

There can be no lying in a relationship, especially a m/s relationship... it is not possible... and, if it does happen it is all a wash without hope for recovery?

Interesting - please go on.

~J

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

This question is a joke. Lying and relationships, especially M/s relationships, are mutually exclusive. Whatever you two thought you had together, you were both wrong. Now, either you start over or you go have a nice day with someone else.

You might begin by talking to each other instead of us.

K.

Did you have something to say?

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to Kirata)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 6:37:01 AM

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Personaly i dont think an 18yo should be collard!! No more then I think an 18yo should be married or be a parent!!! Magik's slave

In this matter I agree totally! I myself released someone years ago because of age. I did not feel it was right for him to commit to me since he was under 21 and encouraged him to go find others to play with to expand his horizons...... four years later, he is more developed and my be returning to me anyway.... I have always said NO one should settle down till they are old enough to drink after a bad day at work lol

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Lying. - 11/13/2006 6:43:02 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

This question is a joke. Lying and relationships, especially M/s relationships, are mutually exclusive. Whatever you two thought you had together, you were both wrong. Now, either you start over or you go have a nice day with someone else.

You might begin by talking to each other instead of us.

K.

This over-simplistic view of relationships and human complexity is staggering.

agirl

(in reply to Kirata)

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