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Family? - 11/27/2006 2:13:25 PM   
alittleshyone


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/14/2006
Status: offline 		i was wondering how other submissives, handle their relationships in front of their families? is your Master your "bpyfriend" in your family's eyes?, how do you accommodate in the situation? Does that make sense?

best of everything

shy
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Family? - 11/27/2006 2:16:14 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		With the exception of my sister and my aunt, my family only knows that I have multiple partners that I live with and date others.  They don't know anything about the authority structure.  I've given them enough that they know I'm into kinky stuff, unless they are specifically turning a blind eye.

While I didn't know it at the time, I was training them to accept me as I am, in all my weirdness.  They had to love me and realize I was growing to be a stable happy adult- I didn't really give them another option.  I choose not to come out more so because we're comfortable where we are now and acceptance in general is more important than acceptance in specifics when it comes to family.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_594649/mpage_1/key_coming/tm.htm#594704
Telling Family

http://www.collarchat.com/m_500172/mpage_1/key_coming%252Cprocess/tm.htm#500695
So I came out...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_191844/mpage_1/key_coming%252Cprocess/tm.htm#192641
family


< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 11/27/2006 2:17:53 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to alittleshyone)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Family? - 11/27/2006 2:19:27 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alittleshyone

i was wondering how other submissives, handle their relationships in front of their families? is your Master your "bpyfriend" in your family's eyes?, how do you accommodate in the situation? Does that make sense?

best of everything

shy


I have two children aged 11 and 12 living at home with me and I am not out to my family. My Master is aware of this and willing to accept the limitations as they currently are knowing that should we have any long term future ircumstances will change as the children leave school and home etc. To my family I am in a vanilla relationship. My Master says on the street I am his babe, in the bedroom I am his whore. This has worked for me in the past, so I see no reason why it shouldnt continue to do so in the future

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to alittleshyone)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Family? - 11/27/2006 3:57:07 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		The people in my family that I see on a regular basis know that I'm a Master. I have no qualms about taking my slaves to family functions...in fact, I hate it that I ended up going alone to Thanksgiving. There are some things that I would grudgingly give up, like being called Ma'am, if I felt I had to in order for everyone to be comfortable...but for the most part, I don't feel the need to. It's easy to explain that someone sits on the floor because they like to while we're watching a movie, so I expect that behavior. But, I also don't shove it in everyone's face. It's hard to explain that I prefer they sit at my feet and I hand feed them at the family dinner table. You make choices.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to alittleshyone)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Family? - 11/27/2006 4:56:24 PM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alittleshyone

i was wondering how other submissives, handle their relationships in front of their families? is your Master your "bpyfriend" in your family's eyes?, how do you accommodate in the situation? Does that make sense?

best of everything

shy

In front of family, and littleones/teenagers etc, I have always referred to my owners as Master. My family is aware of my life, they always have been. My teenager, while not fully 'kink' aware, has asked me once why I called her father Master; my answer was simply 'because he is master of me"; it was an explanation that she accepted.

I have never referred to my late Master; or Master now as anything other than my owner. They were not boyfriends; and though my first master and I did eventually marry, I never referred to him as my husband except on paper.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to alittleshyone)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Family? - 11/27/2006 5:18:37 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		We allow her family to remain blissfully ignorant, it is just better that way.  It doesn't matter how they refer to me (boy friend, partner, dumb ass) or what she calls me in front of them, it doesn't change or give any reflection on our relationship.

K

(in reply to Kalira)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Family? - 11/27/2006 5:59:09 PM   
damia


Posts: 190
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		My Master is my boyfriend to all of my family save my sister who is in the lifestyle also

damia the Kat

(in reply to alittleshyone)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Family? - 11/27/2006 6:47:46 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		My dominant is my boyfriend. He insists that he is both and that I am both his submissive and his girlfriend. To us, as I once heard another put it, d/s is the icing on an already very yummy cake. Because of this, my family know him as my boyfriend and my friends know him as both my dominant and my boyfriend. His family knows that we are kinky but he refers to me as his girlfriend.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to damia)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Family? - 11/28/2006 2:24:53 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

My dominant is my boyfriend. He insists that he is both and that I am both his submissive and his girlfriend. To us, as I once heard another put it, d/s is the icing on an already very yummy cake. Because of this, my family know him as my boyfriend and my friends know him as both my dominant and my boyfriend. His family knows that we are kinky but he refers to me as his girlfriend.


We are "out" to Master's family and our friends here in Sydney. But I don't call Him Master in public and my collar looks just like a normal piece of jewellery. We will soon be Husband and wife (10 days to go)

My kids are coming for the wedding. My son has never met Master, but my daughter stayed with us for a month earlier this year. She saw me serving Him like a devoted partner but we hid the toys away until she went home My mother is unable to travel to the wedding and she has never met Master either....she's very vanilla and would never understand so I figure ignorance is bliss on that subject!

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Family? - 11/28/2006 3:22:17 AM   
andreaC


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline 		For my family, he is my b/f, but for my mother, sisters and one cousin, he is my Master.  We are being very discreet when it comes to his teenager sons.  In public, i always call him by his first name.

So far, it has work with no problems

_____________________________

andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
Complete and extremely happy :)
Jeg elsker deg Herre

(in reply to alittleshyone)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Family? - 11/28/2006 10:36:50 PM   
patina


Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline 		For my mom she understands a little of the lifestyle but she would not agree w/ the term Master, my Dad is too deaf and senile to understand anything.  My brothers are to anal to understand, my sister does but we are not talking she is dead to me again.  My neices are cool on the idea, my cousin thinks I have flipped my gourd.  He has told his side I am a GF.  In public I call him by his first name, in front of my family I say my Love or sometimes my Lord.  His family his first name or my love.



Patina 

_____________________________

a diamond in the rough

(in reply to andreaC)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Family? - 11/29/2006 12:49:17 AM   
katie7


Posts: 59
Joined: 9/16/2006
From: australia
Status: offline 		To my family and friends He is my boyfriend, to my young daughter  He is  mummy's boyfriend.to my ex in laws He's is  an unessesary complication in their grandaughters life, as He supports her far more than their son ever did and this is of great embaressment to them...
In O/our home He is my Master unless my daughter is present and i occasionaly call him Sir in front of her but have started to cull this the older she gets.
Our toys and literature are firmly locked away...

_____________________________

"Without my dominace you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different." - My Beloved

(in reply to patina)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Family? - 11/29/2006 12:53:08 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		According to both our families at the moment, Angel and I are best friends.  They dont know we are dating becasue of the distance, and they certainly cant know about the D/s.  Once I move, we are going to talk about the Gf/bf, but they still dont need to know about the Owner/pet part.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to katie7)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Family? - 11/29/2006 6:36:14 AM   
michellerose


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		in our family, it's very obvious that my Dom (my partner's Master) is in charge. i refer to him as Sir. His slave (my partner) refers to him as Master at home, and Sir every other time. yes in front of the kids. saying "Sir" to a male in authority isn't uncommon nor unacceptible, and that's why she uses Sir.

my mother and father are aware that my Dom is more to me than a boyfriend. they know that i follow His commands, and they are also aware that he spanks me on occasion, though i think they believe it is nothing more than sexual foreplay. the kids know that mommy and michelle are their own people, but they do what Daddy says. our sex life (and any punishments we might receive) have nothing to do with our kids, and so our kids are not exposed to that. and they are happy, healthy, very well-adjusted children.

His father is aware of our relationship, and is fine with it. His mother is aware, and is not. *shrug*  we don't try to hide our submission, and He doesn't hide His Dominance of us. we just do our thing. we're not like, kneeling at His feet when we come int he door at thanksgiving dinner at grandma's, but we DO stand at His side, ask if He needs things, bring his plate, refill His coffee, and are available to Him always. when he calls our names, we respond, "yes Sir?" and wait for his instructions.

but in all actuality that kind of behaviour is actually not too abnormal for my mothers extremely traditional family structure. (though the family the three of US have is far from "traditional")

i guess, long and short of it, they know, but not all of it. just like i know my sister has sex with her husband, but i don't kow the details. i don't need to. that's them. i know my brother likes to talk to his wife on the phone, and do things that way. i don't know whqat they say. i dnt have to . that's them. so, they all know that my Sir is in charge. and that's all they need to know. the rest is between us.

~michelle

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Family? - 11/29/2006 11:08:32 AM   
behindmirrors


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		My family knows nothing, though we have spent a lot of time with them on holidays as they live about a half-hour from us. They know he is my boyfriend, that we love each other, and that I am very devoted to him, but nothing beyond that for the sanity of all parties involved.

His family has never met me, as they live far away and it's hard for us to get time off of work at the same time in order to go see them- and I don't think they will know when we do, either.

We decided that to family and most  friends, we are a couple with no "extra components" added, and to those in the know about the lifestyle, some friends, etc., we are what we are, and there is not a reason to hide it.

behindmirrors.

(in reply to michellerose)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Family? - 11/29/2006 11:14:55 AM   
RibbonsAndCurls


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/10/2006
Status: offline 		My mother doesn't even like saying the word "sex" and thinks that "shut up" is a cuss word... needless to say, my family is completely in the dark when it comes to my relationship with Daddy.

_____________________________

"Life is tough...tougher if you're stupid" John Wayne

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Family? - 11/29/2006 11:48:27 AM   
BDSM05478


Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rayne58
We are "out" to Master's family and our friends here in Sydney. But I don't call Him Master in public and my collar looks just like a normal piece of jewellery. We will soon be Husband and wife (10 days to go)


Thread-jacking!!!!! Congrats on the pending nuptials. May your union bring you a life time of Joy and togetherness.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to Rayne58)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Family? - 11/29/2006 2:29:22 PM   
nightrosemom


Posts: 80
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline 		Master is called Master in public, i have gotten some weired looks about it, but that is how i am happy.  Our families do not know at this time, but He has stated that He will not hide our lifestyle forever. even from the families. My sister knows what he is to me because she is in the lifestyle, but that is it, a few of my closest friends know also.

(in reply to BDSM05478)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Family? - 11/29/2006 5:29:39 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alittleshyone

i was wondering how other submissives, handle their relationships in front of their families? is your Master your "bpyfriend" in your family's eyes?, how do you accommodate in the situation? Does that make sense?

best of everything

shy

Yes Master is my boyfriend to family and friends not involved in the BDSM lifestyle. It's kinda fun though cause sometimes He'll put a subtle protocol in place that only He and i are aware of, like staying on His right side the whole time W/we're together. i don't want to deal with the opinions of people who have no understanding of all this.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to alittleshyone)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Family? - 11/29/2006 5:44:37 PM   
BDSM05478


Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		I call Him Daddy all the time, infront of anyone, without a moments hesitation BUT we also have 2 lil unmentionables that call Him Daddy too so most people do not even notice it. My family knows how I live my life, they do not understand how I can do it but they know TMI as my younger bro says. Daddys brother knows how we live but none others in his family know it as D/s they just think we're old fashioned, King of the castle circa pre 60's types.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to slavemaia)
Profile   Post #: 20
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