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RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 9:45:18 AM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

So even if there is no physical "state" with "being" submissive, in those moments when you are really feeling the above-mentioned fuzzies, are there any physical sensations which are pretty reliably arising together with or as an aspect of the fuzzies?

Oh yes.

But those same physical sensations arise in other situations as well- so it is not unique to being "submissive" for me.

Thanks again, LA.

I'm not sure how this notion of exclusivity crept it. That is to say, speaking in terms of physical sensations exclusive to submissivity (?)

No. On the contrary. I think you are on the mark when you talk about all of us sharing in a broad way a great pallette of emotional and physical reponses and making particular attributions in regard to them, and and finding certain meanings in them in this sort of case and that sort of case.

If I ask you how this dessert tastes I'm not requiring that you describe only flavors and textures and temperatures unique to it. In fact every individual descriptor (or analogy or mataphor) you offer may apply to several other desserts as well. The overall description you offer me in response to my question might work in terms of which familiar dessert words apply and which one's don't, and, furthermore, which words familiar somewhere outside of dessert happen to apply particularly to this dessert you're eating now?

That's one way the conversation might proceed, anyway.

Some people in this thread spoke of a heaviness associated with their sense of submissiveness. I'm comfortable with the idea that there might be a physical sensation of heaviness associated with one person's submissivness while in fact that same person might report a heaviness associated with grief, say, or closure, or safety or some other emotional response.

I'm not asking "What physical sensations are always and only associated with submission, for you? Sorry for the unclarity.

But with your fuzzies, say, I'll bet that certain physical sensations might be pretty consistently present with fuzzies. Maybe even enough to be viewed as a sort of marker that the fuzzies are hitting. I presume that other physical sensations (maybe dental pain and a chill in the left foot) are not statistically associated strongly with the fuzzies.

That's the sort of association I was getting at, I think.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 9:55:48 AM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Halcyone

Like others, I feel warm, small, soft. I also feel slow and graceful. Also heavy, though not necessarily in the sense that my weight has doubled. Maybe grounded is a better word.

There's a passage in Memoirs of a Geisha in which the main character, a dancer, describes how she feels when she realizes that the man she loves is in the audience. For her, it was a feeling of exquisite sadness that slowed her movements, and gave them weight and grace.

For me, it's the feeling of submission that gives me the same.

Thank you, Halcyone.

I'm struck by the fact that someone else in her description of her own sense of submissiveness actually referred to feeling "halcyon."

Thank you for that nice little tying together of the notions of heaviness and groundedness. It makes me think of a boat lying at anchor. A dynamic kind of stillness.

When you, in reference to the Geisha book, mention sadness in the same breath as "weight and grace" it evokes in me the awareness of the physical aspects of sadness as "I" feel them. Sadness of course may or may not feel physically the same to the dancer or to the author or to you or me. Still, being all of one species we can presume a good deal of overlap I suppose, and work from there.

When you furthermore qualify the word sadness with the word "exquisite," well I don't have the sense of you telling me any more but that adjective seems to show me more about this phenomenon from your perspective.

Thank you for all of it.

(in reply to Halcyone)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 10:01:45 AM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I have considered that term on occasion, to feel submissive. I have used that term a lot, and then in talking to someone not so long ago, I understood her point of view of how feeling submissive can really mean anything to anyone and is not a very clear descriptor.

Not clear if it were meant as a general rule, some sort of encyclopedia entry. But from the start we only want to explore this in subjective terms so that is perfectly okay.

quote:

...

There is this intense magnetic pull from deep within my gut. It is so intense it creates an ache which can actually be painful. My skin will actually begin to tingle in my most intense state. I feel incredibly small - so small I feel like a mere spec beneath his shoe. My level of heat scorches me, as an inferno roaring through my very being. My heart rate goes up, and my body reacts to its arousal. I become hyper-focused on just him and my servitude to him. The world may spin around me but I no longer notice it; I become driven to him, much like a moth to a flame (except I won't die when I touch him, heh). I find myself on the edge of an orgasm, teetering there, screaming inside for relief, yet not wanting relief because that might make this fantastic moment go away. I feel his presence inside of me, like an energy pounding within, and I can actually feel my pulse throb.

There are no inhibitions. Walls that used to exist have crumbled, and I feel as though wind can blow right through me. At my most intense moments, I can barely speak in a whisper - I feel so small that even my voice becomes small. My longing to feel him - to touch, smell, taste, sense, breathe, experience him - takes over my being in both a sexual and non sexual way. I tremble inside. I cower. I am shrouded by his power and control and it embraces me and feeds me. I feel completely exposed and splayed open to him - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is as though my body and mind are laying there open to him, and he can just scoop in and take what he wants.

...

I've quoted your post at length to acknowledge the variety of ways in which it attempted to and succeeded in transcending the difficulty of addressing the physical aspect of something which in itself seems to quite unified and not a matter of "components" at all.

Thank you very much

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 10:17:13 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah
I've quoted your post at length to acknowledge the variety of ways in which it attempted to and succeeded in transcending the difficulty of addressing the physical aspect of something which in itself seems to quite unified and not a matter of "components" at all.

Thank you very much

You are welcome, and thank you for your comments. My Master often asks me questions such as yours, to not only see inside my mind and understand it, but to cause me to do the same. He enjoys working with my mind.

As for the "components" you speak of, each component in and of itself can be beautiful. I think of a symphony being constructed and each instrument having its own unique contribution and element. Pointing to a cellist and listening only to its contribution might cause one to experience a haunting, beautiful journey that weaves in and out of an unseen path. On its own, it can evoke a melancholy mood, or a cheerful mood, or any other type of emotional experience. Incorporating it in to the bigger piece of music blends that mood with so many others. On its own, it is a beautiful melody. Yet the combination of all components together makes the symphony magnificent. Without each contribution, the symphony would be incomplete.

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 10:29:27 AM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: songofeire

I get what might best be described as a heavy, sinking feeling combined with an internal quickening. My arms feel heavy and weak. I become very aware of my breathing...sometimes it feels as if I have to remember to breathe or I will forget to breathe...really what happens is I keep breathing out, and then have to remember to breathe back in...but the exhale, I think, increases the sinking feeling I love so much.
I have also described the feeling as melting...there is a sensation akin to that of not having bones... being completely bendable....no resistance.

Thank you for that wonderful description. I'm struck by the juxtaposition of the notions of sinking and quickening.

Do you know what keelhauling was?

As I understand it, it was a punishment for a severe infraction aboard ship. A sailor would be tied to a stout line which had been led under the ship from one side to the other. He would then be thrown into the sea while crew members held fast to each end of the long line he was tied to the middle of. He would be pulled under the ship, across the keel from port side to starboard, his life in peril and very much in the hands of the man controlling the pace of the crew as they reeled in the line. As well his fate was in the hands of those individuals whose hands were on the line, pulling, and pulling him in one directions even while other hands were arresting any attempt by him to swim freely toward that safety of open air to starboard.

I suppose that a guy being keelhauled experienced a quickening along with a sinking, and another sort of quickening along with his excruciating ascent on the other side of the ship. I suppose there would be one sort of quickening from simple immersion in the bracing sea water. I suspect that there would have been an altogether sort of quickening, a sort of existential quickening, as he sank into the reality of this consequence of his actions.

If he were the sort of sailor who believed in consequences, that is.

Not that I think that this was precisely the sinking and quickening you referrred to. I just wanted to share this image with you as a thanks for the insight you shared with us.

quote:

This is really hard, describing the physical reactions...I know them so well, but to find words is so difficult. I tend to lose speech when I feel this way, anyhow.

You're too modest.

quote:

I know that when I was first playing, ten years ago, I learned how to let myself go into subspace, to feel the pain of a flogging as pleasure...I would consciously let go physical tension and do the kind of breathing described above, lots of exhale, not a lot of inhale, and off I would fly....

I wondered how long it would take for the notion of subspace to enter the discussion. It isn't entirely clear to me just where the difference lies between these two questions:

1. What does your submissiveness feel like?
and
2. What does your subspace feel like?

... beyond the idea that submissiveness is something one might feel before, during, and after an experience of subspace, and that a person can experience a kind of subspacey thing just from the endorphin effects of pain play, say, without there being much of any submission dynamic or submissive feeling.

"How subspace feels" therefore might really deserve it's own discussion. Thank you for your careful attention to th question of how your submissiveness feels.

I guess that now it just happens without having to be conscious of it. It is a physical letting go of control.

Okay. Well since you're doing so swimmingly well thus far can I challenge to you address this further? Specifically: the "physical" letting go of control? Insofar as you want to describe it as a physical experiecnce or act, what is involved?

First of all has it more of the character of something you do or of something that heppens to you or is done to you (that isn't a "physical"
question, I suppose; I'm just curious along the way about that in particular)?

Physically, does it involve these or those muscles relaxing or contracting? Things to do with galvanic skin response? Respiration (well yes, you spoke of exhaling)? An opening up or shuttering of this or that sense modality?

I don't mean to lead the witness. I'm interested to hear of your experience in your chosen terms.

Thanks again for your very nice post.

(in reply to songofeire)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 10:54:06 AM

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quote:

Would you like to say any more about that palpable flow of energy? Unless you meant the word palpable in a strictly metaphorical way (which would be fine) can you tell us anything about how that flow of energy feels in your body, as opposed to in your mind or heart?

I feel high when we play physically. Daddy says he looks into my eyes and I "sink" into a submissive head space. I think I am flying at times. My head feels different, like I am buzzing, and by that I do not mean heavy subspace from being beaten.. it is a layered response. He grabs my hair and my eyes glaze over, I can feel it.. and when he smiles as he looks into my eyes I do "sink" too. It is kinda like the cobra hypnotizing its prey if that makes any sense... that lulled sense of wellness and rightness and feeling connected is very much a physical state of being.

I do not separate my body, mind and spirit... these are all connected. What harms one will impact the rest, what sates one will make the rest more contented. The body has energy centers, chakras if you will, what blocks one will impede the energy flow of the rest. Power exchange is a tantric thing in my mind, sex has a sacred energy. It is the complementary aspects of Ds that feed me in a very real and physical way. I know that sounds metaphysical, but it isn't.

My Daddy bruised his rib right below the heart and he has felt differently ever since emotionally speaking. He has not felt quite himself, his energy in his heart chakra was probably blocked through this physical injury. Disease can be brought on by emotional states also, so when one feels content, safe, protected it impacts us physically also. It lowers blood pressure, it helps us digest our food correctly, it causes a more healthy brain chemistry, and yes that is a very palpable thing.

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(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 10:56:13 AM

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For me, there is the tingly sensation and slight tightness in my muscles that I associate with anticipation and alertness to His will. This shifts to complete melting relaxation when I am petted and praised. Sometimes, when I am submitting to pain or punishment, there is a sensation in the pit of my stomach like falling. Sometimes there is pleasant dizziness. Also more psychological with a physical side effect, I often cannot look up, cannot meet His eyes. It feels too confronatational or challenging. Does that answer your question?

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 10:56:55 AM

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quote:

Thank you, Kalira.

Of course anyone may add whatever they like here. And we have over the years had a lot of good discussion about "What makes you feel submissive."

What I would like to do here today is leave that question mostly to the side and let people share their own accounts of just how it feels inside your body when, for instance, you hear that word or tone that elicits your own submissiveness.

My stomach drops to my feet, my knees literally start to shake, I can feel my body get hot from the feet to the tip of my head

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(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 10:58:38 AM

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For me, the emotional and physical feelings that are tired to submissiveness are closely connected. I will try to explain them to you in a way that (I hope) makes sense.

The emotional feelings of peacefulness and contentment equates to feeling physically sated - no hunger, no thirst, no longing for something more to make me happier than what I feel at that moment. I described it once as what I imagined it would feel like being "swallowed up in a big, fluffy cloud" - just comfortable and soft.

Sometimes my submissive feelings make me feel emotionally helpless and easily consumed, so to speak. That can translate into almost an adrenaline kick - increased heart rate, a little nervous or "scared," faster breathing.

Other times, my feelings of submission are more of a sexual nature and my emotions are more in the area of feeling wanton, sexy, passionate, completely willing. This can result in physical responses of increased sexual arousal, faster breathing and heart rate, and an increased tolerance for pain.

I don't know if this makes any sense at all, but I tried...

I asked Daddy a few weeks ago what it felt like to be Dominant over another person in the way that He is with me and the only answer I got was "natural."

I hope that you get more satisfaction from the answers we are trying to give you, Noah.

~ DRH

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(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 11:11:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Halcyone

Like others, I feel warm, small, soft. I also feel slow and graceful. Also heavy, though not necessarily in the sense that my weight has doubled. Maybe grounded is a better word.

There's a passage in Memoirs of a Geisha in which the main character, a dancer, describes how she feels when she realizes that the man she loves is in the audience. For her, it was a feeling of exquisite sadness that slowed her movements, and gave them weight and grace.

For me, it's the feeling of submission that gives me the same.

When you, in reference to the Geisha book, mention sadness in the same breath as "weight and grace" it evokes in me the awareness of the physical aspects of sadness as "I" feel them. Sadness of course may or may not feel physically the same to the dancer or to the author or to you or me. Still, being all of one species we can presume a good deal of overlap I suppose, and work from there.

When you furthermore qualify the word sadness with the word "exquisite," well I don't have the sense of you telling me any more but that adjective seems to show me more about this phenomenon from your perspective.

This is such a hard thing to describe...

I'm heartened someone else used the "Geisha" quote -- I also think it best captures a sense of what it feels like to be in the moment. That said, there are different flavors of submissiveness for me and they feel different physically. There's that drop into the pit of my stomach when I get "the look" -- that one that goes right through you. It's not a relaxed feeling but more one with a touch of dangerousness... thrilling maybe? I get the same feeling with fingers drawn down my spine or a low voice in my ear... where my stomach flips over, I shiver a little and it feels impossible to look the person in the eye. It's hard to explain the sinking feeling but I become hyperalert to what's happening between the two of us... hypersensitive.

I've never been in subspace, so I can't speak to that, but sometimes after being together for awhile I can sink into things, the way other people have mentioned. Moving anything from my head to my feet can feel like being underwater, where it takes so much more effort just to raise an arm or answer a question. I can feel a transfer of energy between myself and Him and I also tend to lose my speech when I'm in this sort of place. I can't answer questions or state things clearly, even though I'm very aware of what's being said to me. It's like the thread between my mouth and my brain is cut and no words will come out even when I want them to.

There is a third state for me -- the feeling of submissiveness that comes from being in active service (like serving/organizing a meal, laying out clothes, dressing, giving a massage, etc...) Doing these things gives me a warm glow along with settling my head. I don't experience any of the heaviness or sense of being covered; it's more like the first sense of being hyperaware, but inclined towards everything around me rather than just myself and Him. I'm more steady on my feet, more articulate, more an active part of things rather than a passive one. The submissive feeling comes from knowing why I'm doing what I'm doing -- being useful in serving His needs -- which translates into gentle fluid movement. This is the hardest one to put specific feelings to, because its so much like being generally competent from day to day. For me it's the emotional component that morphs this state from general "doing" into a submissive act.

Thanks for asking this question... it gave me something lovely to think on this morning.

~Holly

*edited for morning typo*

< Message edited by HollyS -- 12/2/2006 11:39:19 AM >

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RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 11:12:57 AM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beltainefaerie

For me, there is the tingly sensation and slight tightness in my muscles that I associate with anticipation and alertness to His will. This shifts to complete melting relaxation when I am petted and praised. Sometimes, when I am submitting to pain or punishment, there is a sensation in the pit of my stomach like falling. Sometimes there is pleasant dizziness. Also more psychological with a physical side effect, I often cannot look up, cannot meet His eyes. It feels too confronatational or challenging. Does that answer your question?

Yes it does. Thank you.

Thank you in particular for explicitly bringing "the psychological" which is one more .... um ... thingie which can be combined or conflated or conjoined with "the physical". The sorting is no easier to do in regard to psychological vs. Physical than with emotional vs. physical but still it sems that some useful distinctions can be described. I think you have brought one in.

I want to acknowledge juliaoceana's comment on the unity of a person. I feel that we can discuss and describe the physical and the emotional and the psychological individually, to a useful extent, without any suggestion that a disunified view of a human being is behind it. This is similar to the way in which we can talk about a single objecy, say, a painting, in terms of it's use of light, or brushwork, or how it plays a role in history, or politically, or in our personal life, for instance.

To try to capture the kind of thing you're talking about in more general terms, beltainefaerie--and hoping I'm not missing your point--the range of your behaviors waxes or wanes when you are "feeling submissive," or something like that. One particular way in which this is manifested is in the matter od meeting his eyes (and I see no need for anyone to quibble about what you might mean by "cannot" here.) I wonder if others will report this sort of phenomenon.

This isn't very specifically a "physical sensation" sort of response but it does seem to be a sort of response which has blatantly physical results so thank you again for bringing it in.

(in reply to beltainefaerie)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 11:36:04 AM

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It's been interesting for me to read the responses. I am different than most of you.
For me feeling my "submissiveness" isn't often warm and fuzzy. It is more challenging. Especially when I submit to things that are unpleasant. The words I would use are "uneven", "unbalanced", "alarmed", "overpowered". I don't go to headspace where I float, or feel warm and loved. I'm not a subspacer. I'm happy if I can get through the challenges with a "good job girlie."

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RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 11:59:01 AM

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"Feeling submissive" for me is more about "Feeling dominated"( be it physical, psychological, or emotional). It manifests itself in me physically in several ways. My breathing rate decreases, my HR/pulse decreases, my muscles loosen up, I go limp like a ragdoll cat does. I generaly become physically sexually aroused. I have this same reaction when my owner uses power over other people, be it colleagues/co-workers, store clerks, customer service people etc. when he gets people to give him what he wants and do what he wants(especially if they were adamant that they could not) I have the same similiar physical reaction to it.

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RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 12:49:58 PM

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ok, here is my best attempt to recall the physical sensation, when it is primarily the mental and emotional sensations that I recall first and foremost. mind you, I am very new to D/s itself, so in many ways I am still sorting out these sensations and feelings for myself.

there is a calmness that comes over me, mentally and physically...it begins in my head and travels throughout my system (meaning muscular, nervous etc), and covers me with it's heaviness...it's a very comforting heaviness too, because in this calmness I know that any response Master may elicit will be very organic in nature, very true to my natural self. it's a feeling I know I can trust, and therefore, makes any pleasure derived from it that much more satisfying, including sexual pleasure (yeah baby!)

hth
lighthearted

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 3:10:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

"It makes me feel submissive when ..."

"This person makes me feel submissive ..."

What I'd like to hear about are those feelings, themselves.

What does it feel like, for you--before, during, or after any actual interaction which might yield further sensations, to just "feel submissive"?

It starts as soon as this slave is released from the arms of Morpheus and she is consciously aware of another day’s beginning.

slipping out of Master's bed naked with leather cuffs on, donning slippers and a robe before it is even light, this slave goes outside and greets the rising sun, welcomes it and submits to another day at the whim of the Great Architect and the guidance of Master, who will awaken sometime soon, so best be off to get the coffee on.

as each day begins, this slave “feels” submissive, and has all of her life. it isn’t something that is brought on by a gesture or word or specific person or scene or ritual. that feeling is carried through every action, interaction and happening of the day.

this slave felt it and acted on it long before she was aware of D/s and M/s relationships…being Master’s slave just means it is focused upon and physically manifested at His will and whim.

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 11:11:57 PM

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<<Thank you for that wonderful description. I'm struck by the juxtaposition of the notions of sinking and quickening. >>

You're welcome. A further explanation would be that even as my body is being slowed and pulled by some irresistible gravity born of desire and arousal, I feel so intensely alive...senses at the ready, brain on alert, as it must be to serve well, yet often speechless...
I feel that the pull, the sinking, is centered in my center...my uterus, my core.

<<Do you know what keelhauling was?

As I understand it, it was a punishment for a severe infraction aboard ship. A sailor would be tied to a stout line which had been led under the ship from one side to the other. He would then be thrown into the sea while crew members held fast to each end of the long line he was tied to the middle of. He would be pulled under the ship, across the keel from port side to starboard, his life in peril and very much in the hands of the man controlling the pace of the crew as they reeled in the line. As well his fate was in the hands of those individuals whose hands were on the line, pulling, and pulling him in one directions even while other hands were arresting any attempt by him to swim freely toward that safety of open air to starboard.

I suppose that a guy being keelhauled experienced a quickening along with a sinking, and another sort of quickening along with his excruciating ascent on the other side of the ship. I suppose there would be one sort of quickening from simple immersion in the bracing sea water. I suspect that there would have been an altogether sort of quickening, a sort of existential quickening, as he sank into the reality of this consequence of his actions.

If he were the sort of sailor who believed in consequences, that is.

Not that I think that this was precisely the sinking and quickening you referrred to. I just wanted to share this image with you as a thanks for the insight you shared with us.>>

Thank you for this. It is oddly similar, somehow, now that you explained it. I had always thought keelhauling was simply being dragged in the wake of the ship...this is a lot worse.
It must have been a challenge for sadists back then to think up acts that were heinous enough to distinguish themselves from the ordinary cruelties of the day.

<<You're too modest.>>

<grin> No, really, I do go speechless sometimes...really I do!

<<I wondered how long it would take for the notion of subspace to enter the discussion. It isn't entirely clear to me just where the difference lies between these two questions:

1. What does your submissiveness feel like?
and
2. What does your subspace feel like?

... beyond the idea that submissiveness is something one might feel before, during, and after an experience of subspace, and that a person can experience a kind of subspacey thing just from the endorphin effects of pain play, say, without there being much of any submission dynamic or submissive feeling.

"How subspace feels" therefore might really deserve it's own discussion. Thank you for your careful attention to th question of how your submissiveness feels.>>

For the record, I can't do subspace without submission.
To me, subspace is a subset of submission. <grinning again>
It has to do with an altered consciousness, and is the word I use to describe the feeling (not strictly physical) of flying...a transcendance of reality...a "trip" if you will.
It can serve to change my perception of sensation...when what had been intense pain one moment melts effortlessly into intense pleasure.
But I can't get there on physical stimulation alone. I have to be surrendered to the person delivering the pain, or I stay on the earth and it just hurts. Not that I can't enjoy that....but it isn't subspace.

<<Okay. Well since you're doing so swimmingly well thus far can I challenge to you address this further? Specifically: the "physical" letting go of control? Insofar as you want to describe it as a physical experiecnce or act, what is involved?

First of all has it more of the character of something you do or of something that heppens to you or is done to you (that isn't a "physical" question, I suppose; I'm just curious along the way about that in particular)?

Physically, does it involve these or those muscles relaxing or contracting? Things to do with galvanic skin response? Respiration (well yes, you spoke of exhaling)? An opening up or shuttering of this or that sense modality? >>

I don't know what galvanic skin response is...and some muscles relax and others just don't...can't, specifically the heart, which races, and the breath, which quickens till one calms it down.
As I had mentioned, when I was very new to all this, I would use a breathing technique - learned, come to think of it, in a Bradley method childbirth class - to help myself go into subspace when being hurt...but it soon became unnecessary to think about it...it is automatic, now, to slow it.
Submission, however, is not something I have ever done consciously.
That has always been a spontaneous response to the Dominance of the one to whom I am surrendered.

Here is how it feels...again with that juxtaposition of the sinking feeling with the quickening...
Even as my deep center and my extremities feel the slowing and the pull of gravity and gravitas, my heart starts racing and I feel what could be described as a chill or a slow shock travelling from my solar plexus up through my throat and then up the back of my neck to my head, which, oddly or properly enough causes me to bend my head, to lower my gaze. My breathing slows to contain the excitement....not to limit it, but so as to allow all of it to remain in my body....not to waste any of it.
It's almost as if part of my body are in slow motion, and other parts are on high speed.

<<I don't mean to lead the witness. I'm interested to hear of your experience in your chosen terms.

Thanks again for your very nice post.>>

You are most welcome, and thanks for the opportunity to ponder this. It has been really interesting to me to consider the purely physical aspects of submissiveness and to search for the words that will communicate my experience of them.

It was only just now, writing this response, that I put together the Bradley technique and the way I dealt with early floggings, etc.
Now I can remember hearing the nurse/midwife who taught the course saying we had to surrender to the pain...to allow it...to accept it...to let it course through us without resistance...
That was 25 years ago.
Funny, isn't it?

MarinMasoMama

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/3/2006 12:06:23 AM

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Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

"It makes me feel submissive when ..."

"This person makes me feel submissive ..."

What I'd like to hear about are those feelings, themselves.

What does it feel like, for you--before, during, or after any actual interaction which might yield further sensations, to just "feel submissive"?

Interesting and complex question, Noah.
Although submission is what I choose because it fulfills me, how I feel depends on the day and the type of interaction.
Sometimes it is like wearing warm fuzzy slippers, sometimes it’s like teetering on 5 inch spike heels, and sometimes it is akin to walking barefoot on broken glass.
Sometimes I am galvanized, energized by my submission, other times it makes me weary and I could weep.
Sometimes it feels like duty, sometimes it feels like joy.
The dichotomy for me is that submission makes me feel proud.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/3/2006 12:27:25 AM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

Emotional responses, though, tend to have concomittant physical responses with at least a degree of consistency and continuity.

OK, I didn't actually 'get' what you were asking in your OP, but this (I think) has clarified things for me, so I'm going to stop reading the thread and respond first, then go back and read the rest.

Physical manifestations run the gamut: elevated heart rate, body blushes, the tendency to lower my eyes, sweating, faster breathing, softer voice, smiling, being more aware of my senses, skipping, whistling, giggling and probably lots of other things of which I'm not aware but that's probably enough for a start and just off the top of my head.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/3/2006 12:54:22 AM

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Submissiveness makes me feel like a woman, it really puts me in touch with my femininity...it allows me to channel that.

In those times I don't feel submissive, I feel like I'm androgynous, kinda neutral or something.

< Message edited by slavejali -- 12/3/2006 12:55:45 AM >

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/3/2006 3:06:58 AM

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

I have an awareness of certain physical sensations or "feelings" when I am experiencing a particular moment when I am more acutely aware of my submissive orientation toward my partner. Perhaps I am lucky enough to be so acutely aware of the physical sensations because my partner has, from the beginning of our relationship, encouraged and even required that I practice mindfulness in my submission to him.
The physical sensations that come to mind for me vary from a lightheaded wooziness to a slow, gentle sinking sensation in my stomach to a tingling sensation up and down my spine, depending on what it is that he (my partner) is doing or saying at the time. My partner's scent can also be a powerful trigger for me, so it isnt always about something he does or says.
The most consistent feelings that I experience have to do with a sensation of letting go of physical tension and a settling of my breath, a sort of dropping into my center. At the same time, there is a sense of lightness that fills me. It is almost as if I am physically letting go of something.That lightness is most prominently manifest in my head, but I am aware that the sensation is present in my entire body.
So, I guess it is like a grounding and a lightening at the same time. I feel physically smaller in some sense but at the same time I feel expansive. I think this has to do with my connection to the moment, which is as large as all time and as small as the smallest increment of time at once. So, for me, there is this wonderful array of seemingly juxtapositional feelings...a series of dichotomies....I am small, yet I am limitless. I am grounded, yet I am light. My senses are aroused, yet I am aware that my breathing is slower and deeper.
I have an increased awareness of my forehead, my chest and my pelvis... my intellectual, emotional and sexual "centers". Tension leaves my neck and shoulders. There is a sense of release of tension throughout my body, a sort of "giving up" of that tension as in the giving up of my will. A giving over. This is physically manifest in my body.
It is not that outside of these times of physical manifestation I am not submissive to my partner. It is my firm belief that submission is not a matter of feelings, it is about action. I think that what happens is that when my attention is acutely focused on submission, the physical sensations follow. So, whether they are a product of my submission or my attention to the submission, I can not say...I only get to inhabit and enjoy the feelings when I am paying attention to them.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to slavejali)

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