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ORIGINAL: Noah
"It makes me feel submissive when ..."

"This person makes me feel submissive ..."


What I'd like to hear about are those feelings, themselves.


What does it feel like, for you--before, during, or after any actual interaction which might yield further sensations, to just "feel submissive"?

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  There is a feeling that I have gotten from the Dominants who I have been with in my life that I am at a loss for a name for. In talking with other submissives I have found that I am certainly not the only one who gets this feeling, although I have never heard an actual name put to it.

It is the feeling that you get when you are chatting and laughing with your girlfriends at a munch and your Dominant walks up and strokes your hair, the feeling that you get when your eyes meet from across a crowded room, the feeling that you get when you are hurrying around waiting for Him to come home with butterflies in your stomach...and He walks in and puts His arms around you, the feeling you get when you're balancing the checkbook and he comes up and strokes your cheek......the list goes on and on.

The only way that I can really describe the feeling with any accuracy is to say that it is very much like the feeling that you get when you sit down to nurse a baby and that intense calm comes over you when the oxytocin is released into your body. It is like you can feel your mind stop racing, your heart rate and breathing slow and you become enveloped by a calm and serene cloud. It is sometimes as profound as a shot of valium.

I have always described the feeling as a "settling into place", because quite often it comes at a time when I am pre-occupied with anything other than submission, and it instantly puts me into "submissive mode". The feeling is one of settling down or dropping...but not as in sub drop.

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For me, I refer to subspace as that point at which I take flight during a scene and the flight itself. During this time I am not able to communicate, I am not in touch with reality, I can not control my movements. I am in la la land, drooling on myself, lost in a world of colored mist and sensation, muscles convulsing and twitching uncontrollably. I come back into reality in bits and pieces slowly and for a few hours after I am riding the euphoria of that endorphin high.
 
Subpsace for me always comes during a scene or at times, it has even been triggered by just really great sex. Externally I am told that it is like this. If I am being scened, when I enter subspace my body relaxes and goes slack, I no longer respond to painful stimuli, my eyes are no longer focused, my pupils dilate and I get a very calm and serene look about me. I can't really respond verbally at this point. Every touch can generate an orgasm, even a stroke on my cheek.

Internally, it is very calm. It is like being enveloped by a cool mist. Color perception is different and I very frequently see things in shades of purple. Quite frequently there is a sensation of water running over me. There have been times when I can see the room, including myself, as if I am looking down from above. Mentally I am very foggy, kind of like after a good dose of morphine....lol. As I begin to come back down, I generally get a case of the shakes. The world comes back into focus in bits and pieces. I am very much in need of a warm blanket, a good cuddle and quite frequently I am extremely tired, although there are exceptions to that as there have been times when I have bounced up like I am ready to run a marathon, excitedly chattering and giggly. The effects can last for several hours after....sometimes even longer....and it would not be a good time for me to drive a car or operate heavy machinery...lol. Although, I may seem perfectly coherent...sometimes it takes awhile for that fog to fully lift.

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ORIGINAL: MmakeMme

A feel a tickle-like sensation in the bottom of my belly, and sometimes my body goes numb, letting my Selft run on autopilot. I move from a place far away, like I'm trying to run in a swimming pool. It can be, at times, like I felt when I was in the last stages of labor - the whole would could march in and see and I wouldn't really notice or care.

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ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

For me, the emotional and physical feelings that are tired to submissiveness are closely connected.  I will try to explain them to you in a way that (I hope) makes sense.

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The emotional feelings of peacefulness and contentment equates to feeling physically sated - no hunger, no thirst, no longing for something more to make me happier than what I feel at that moment.  I described it once as what I imagined it would feel like being "swallowed up in a big, fluffy cloud" - just comfortable and soft.

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Sometimes my submissive feelings make me feel emotionally helpless and easily consumed, so to speak.  That can translate into almost an adrenaline kick - increased heart rate, a little nervous or "scared," faster breathing. 

Other times, my feelings of submission are more of a sexual nature and my emotions are more in the area of feeling wanton, sexy, passionate, completely willing.  This can result in physical responses of increased sexual arousal, faster breathing and heart rate, and an increased tolerance for pain.

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I don't know if this makes any sense at all, but I tried...    
I asked Daddy a few weeks ago what it felt like to be Dominant over another person in the way that He is with me and the only answer I got was "natural."    

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I hope that you get  more satisfaction from the answers we are trying to give you, Noah. 

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ORIGINAL: HollyS


This is such a hard thing to describe...

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I'm heartened someone else used the "Geisha" quote -- I also think it best captures a sense of what it feels like to be in the moment. That said, there are different flavors of submissiveness for me and they feel different physically.  There's that drop into the pit of my stomach when I get "the look" -- that one that goes right through you.  It's not a relaxed feeling but more one with a touch of dangerousness...  thrilling maybe?  I get the same feeling with fingers drawn down my spine or a low voice in my ear...  where my stomach flips over, I shiver a little and it feels impossible to look the person in the eye. It's hard to explain the sinking feeling but I become hyperalert to what's happening between the two of us... hypersensitive.

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I've never been in subspace,

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so I can't speak to that, but sometimes after being together for awhile I can sink into things, the way other people have mentioned.  Moving anything from my head to my feet can feel like being underwater, where it takes so much more effort just to raise an arm or answer a question.  I can feel a transfer of energy between myself and Him and I also tend to lose my speech when I'm in this sort of place.  I can't answer questions or state things clearly, even though I'm very aware of what's being said to me.  It's like the thread between my mouth and my brain is cut and no words will come out even when I want them to. 

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There is a third state for me -- the feeling of submissiveness that comes from being in active service (like serving/organizing a meal, laying out clothes, dressing, giving a massage, etc...)  Doing these things gives me a warm glow along with settling my head.  I don't experience any of the heaviness or sense of being covered; it's more like the first sense of being hyperaware, but inclined towards everything around me rather than just myself and Him. I'm more steady on my feet, more articulate, more an active part of things rather than a passive one.  The submissive feeling comes from knowing why I'm doing what I'm doing -- being useful in serving His needs -- which translates into gentle fluid movement.  This is the hardest one to put specific feelings to, because its so much like being generally competent from day to day.  For me it's the emotional component that morphs this state from general "doing" into a submissive act.

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Thanks for asking this question... it gave me something lovely to think on this morning.

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

It's been interesting for me to read the responses.  I am different than most of you.

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For me feeling my "submissiveness" isn't often warm and fuzzy.  It is more challenging.  Especially when I submit to things that are unpleasant.  The words I would use are "uneven", "unbalanced", "alarmed", "overpowered".  I don't go to headspace where I float, or feel warm and loved.   I'm not a subspacer.  I'm happy if I can get through the challenges with a "good job girlie."

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ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

"Feeling submissive" for me is more about "Feeling dominated"( be it physical, psychological, or emotional). It manifests itself in me physically in several ways. My breathing rate decreases, my HR/pulse decreases, my muscles loosen up, I go limp like a ragdoll cat does. I generaly become physically sexually aroused. I have this same reaction when my owner uses power over other people, be it colleagues/co-workers, store clerks, customer service people etc. when he gets people to give him what he wants and do what he wants(especially if they were adamant that they could not) I have the same similiar physical reaction to it.

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... go limp like a ragdoll cat ...

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ORIGINAL: lighthearted

ok, here is my best attempt to recall the physical sensation, when it is primarily the mental and emotional sensations that I recall first and foremost.  mind you, I am very new to D/s itself, so in many ways I am still sorting out these sensations and feelings for myself.

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there is a calmness that comes over me, mentally and physically...it begins in my head and travels throughout my system (meaning muscular, nervous etc), and covers me with it's heaviness...it's a very comforting heaviness too, because in this calmness I know that any response Master may elicit will be very organic in nature, very true to my natural self.  it's a feeling I know I can trust, and therefore, makes any pleasure derived from it that much more satisfying, including sexual pleasure (yeah baby!)

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

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ORIGINAL: Noah


"It makes me feel submissive when ..."

"This person makes me feel submissive ..."


What I'd like to hear about are those feelings, themselves.


What does it feel like, for you--before, during, or after any actual interaction which might yield further sensations, to just "feel submissive"?

...
as each day begins, this slave “feels” submissive, and has all of her life.  it isn’t something that is brought on by a gesture or word or specific person or scene or ritual.  that feeling is carried through every action, interaction and happening of the day.
 
this slave felt it and acted on it long before she was aware of D/s and M/s relationships…being Master’s slave just means it is focused upon and physically manifested at His will and whim.

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ORIGINAL: catize
Interesting and complex question, Noah.
Although submission is what I choose because it fulfills me, how I feel depends on the day and the type of interaction. 
Sometimes it is like wearing warm fuzzy slippers, sometimes it’s like teetering on 5 inch spike heels, and sometimes it is akin to walking barefoot on broken glass.
Sometimes I am galvanized, energized by my submission, other times it makes me weary and I could weep.
Sometimes it feels like duty, sometimes it feels like joy.
The dichotomy for me is that submission makes me feel proud. 

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Sometimes it feels like duty, sometimes it feels like joy.

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ORIGINAL: Noah

So in your illustration we encounter not Evil being accounted for but rather something good, and it is described in terms of a privation of privations, which is a nice, orderly little celtic knotwork of ideas. Are you always this philosophical?

Speaking of philosophy, your account also reminded me of Eastern notions of non-being and non-attachment. Interesting to see the phenomena of submissiveness described in a way that sounds so much like a traditional path to enlightenment.

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So did you ask him what "natural" felt like? I mean, physically?

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ORIGINAL: Noah
Not sure what you meant by dichotomy there,
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I am continually surprised by the pride.  Driving home after a weekend at my master’s house, reviewing in my head how I was abased, humbled, used; and I feel no shame.   “You should be ashamed of yourself” was a frequent maternal mantra in my formative years.  It seems that I have overcome that.  When I am obedient to master’s will, there is little that humiliates me, because whatever is done is pleasing to him.  And so I see a dichotomy, for wouldn’t a “normal” person feel shame?  But I feel “aloft in abasement” to quote one of my own poems.
 
but thank you so much for those fecund analogies. There are all sorts of ways to describe feelings and sensations. You seem to be pretty handy with that one.
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Thank you for your words of appreciation on my writing style.

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Sometimes it feels like duty, sometimes it feels like joy.

And that sentence ought to be carved somewhere.

Any suggestions?
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<grins>  Yeah, I have a few ideas but it would depend on whether you want it to be a personal reminder message for me or someplace where it could be seen by the general public!