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Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 9:47:34 AM

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My apologies to the mods if this is inappropriate in any way.

So this week, I've had a rather nasty pregnancy scare. My dominant has been wonderfully supportive and understanding of me during this because I had been freaking out (as a college student still trying to graduate, now is not a good time for me to become a Moma!). Last night I finally took an EPT and while my period hasn't arrived yet, the test said we are in the clear. Want babies later, not now.

The whole mess got me thinking though: What if I had been? Who decides what to do? My dominant was willing to do what felt right for me, though he wouldn't marry me. He would help support the child and be a father if I chose to keep it, but he was suggesting putting it up for adoption as well. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do but still I can't help wondering. As a submissive/slave would you do whatever your dominant/master told you to do in this situation, or would you have to make the choice yourself and try to do what you thought was right for the child? As a dominant/master would you give an order or would you let her decide? Would you be supportive of the choice, even if it wasn't one you agreed with?

While the question is set up for male dom/fem sub, I'm interested in responses from everyone. Thanks for reading,
Aqua

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 9:57:03 AM

Rover

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To no one in particular....

It's interesting how theoretically clearly defined dynamics become much less so when applied to the realities of life.

I would suggest that a relationship built upon theory and fantasy will fail when confronted with these realities. While one built upon realistic expectations will cope. What those expectations are will differ from relationship to relationship, of course.

And to be fair, relationships in any lifestyle or dynamic can fail when confronted with the unexpected.

John

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Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:02:53 AM

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As a submissive/slave would you do whatever your dominant/master told you to do in this situation, or would you have to make the choice yourself and try to do what you thought was right for the child?
In my opinion such a life changing big decision should be jointly made. No, i don't think i would have an abortion if my Dom / Master demanded it. I have been in the position of having an abortion twice (for medical reasons) and really don't think i could handle it again. That said i am certainly not against abortion.
Adoption would to me be an option i may consider although being adopted myself and never quite handling it maybe again it would be a bad choice for me. Certainly not against adoption - there are many people out there unable to have children for many reasons that will make wonderful parents.

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(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:04:58 AM

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What a good question!
For me it goes back to my morals. I have moral issues with some options that can come up during an unwanted pregnancy. I would hope that my Dom would feel the same way. I do not look at this as so much of a lifestyle debate. I feel the Father of the baby should have his say.......but I feel the final choice is mine. It's my body (respectavily) and while I have given up myself to him for his pleasure and use I do not see where he would control my reproductive life.

I have heard of "breeder slaves" I really don't know that much about them so I'm probably way off base, but I think if you are in that context of the lifestyle with that particular kink....then of course he has a say. It's what your there for in a way.

But in normal You Dom .me sub play......no! my baby my buisness.

(in reply to Rover)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:10:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
As a dominant/master would you give an order or would you let her decide? Would you be supportive of the choice, even if it wasn't one you agreed with?

I doubt that I would force any woman to have an abortion or give a baby up for adoption...or keep one. It's such a personal thing. But then, I have no chance of ever being the father, so I'd always have a degree of objectivity. Yes, I'd be supportive of her choice. I'm not sure how much support in a parental fashion I'd give to her, unless she got pregnant obeying an order of mine. Then, I would certainly feel a degree of responsibility. However, I just can't see that I'd ever order someone to have raw sex these days, so the chances of that happening are low. If she got pregnant as a result of disobeying me, I honestly don't know what I'd do. The option of uncollaring her would be high on the list. I dunno.

Rover is right. When it comes to situations like this, it's where the rubber hits the road for relationships of any kind. The same kind of fantasy stuff keeps people from dealing with wills and whatnot, too.

Master Fire

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(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:15:58 AM

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quote:

As a submissive/slave would you do whatever your dominant/master told you to do in this situation, or would you have to make the choice yourself and try to do what you thought was right for the child? As a dominant/master would you give an order or would you let her decide? Would you be supportive of the choice, even if it wasn't one you agreed with?

I just would not have nor ever enter any relationship of any type not already having the answers to these questions. If you choose to enter the life as a slave to someone then your choices no longer are of free will regarding anything with the exception of no longer being a slave and leaving because it's the law. If you get the choices it's from the Owner to do so. If your not willing to agree to that then don't think you should A. be a slave, and B. be someone's slave before you have thuroughly discussed such realities.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:17:19 AM

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A Dom will of course have a say, but he should be able to respect my own decisions. A woman will know if she is ready for a child or not, or if she will be able to cope with an abortion or adoption and so her own say should hold more than his. Yes, he helped in creating it, but he isn't going through the physical and emotional changes of carrying the child for nine months, although he will suffer the consequences of them. In the end, as drawntothedark said, it is my choice because it is my body and my mind and not his own. If a Dom told me to have an abortion or to put the child up for adoption, it would depend on the situation I was in. In your own, AquaticSub, I would consider since I am in college as well and I wish to finish before children. Still, he would not tell me I will or will not do this just because he is the dominant. Even if he does not agree with a decision I make, he should at least respect it. If not it shows he has no real respect for you anyway because of a decision you have made which will affect you for years to come. Just my own opinion on it, of course.

And I do think breeder slaves would be the exception to this since they are probably meant only for breeding purposes.

(in reply to drawntothedark)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:19:03 AM

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I actually had the same thing happen this past week, though mine wasn't a "scare", I would have been thrilled.

When I looked for a partner, some things were important to me. One of those was that he be in the same frame of mind on moral issues. I know that if I do become pregnant, there won't be a question as to whether I keep it or not.

I guess it comes down to whether you thought of those types of things when you decided to be in a relationship with someone. I know that so many don't think of situations like that, and can find themselves in a boat load of trouble if they do come up.

I know that Master and I would keep our baby and raise it. I do feel like my body is owned totally by my Master, that is why I made sure the one I had would take care of it and respect it just as much as I would.

Kasha

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(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:27:07 AM

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it depends on the dynamics of the relationship, imo. if one is unowned, then i think pretty much anything can go...a joint decision/submissive's choice/Dom's choice, whatever is most natural for that particular relationship. however if one is a slave, this decision is entirely up to the Owner, imo. has nothing to do with trying to live out a fantasy, but more with accepting the reality that one is a slave ALWAYS, not just when it's convenient. unfortunately my Master and i have had to deal with this situation in the past, and it was his decision to abort. left to my own devices, i likely would have attempted to carry to term and give up for adoption, as i've had abortions in the past and really wanted to be through with that. but my body belongs to someone else, therefore the decision was in his hands. He did ask for my feelings about it, but only after he had already firmly decided what he was going to do.

(in reply to deadlylover)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:34:35 AM

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Perhaps we all have diffrent views because we have diffrent "levels" of submission. I do not want to start yet another debate on the defination of sub vs slave. But I feel I'm a submissive because I have limites which I set and my life choices are mine to make. Of course if my Dom wanted to give me advice I would weight it out and listen to him, I would not always follw his advice. I feel as a sub I have that right. Also, I'm not in a D/s relationship now. If say one day I do find the Dom of my dreams and we live toghther and I do make that jump from sub to slave I may feel diffrently.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:35:12 AM

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Master can say all it is he wishes to say on the matter if I where to get pregnent... Even as a slave it doesnt mean I have to listen to what he says(in that area, I always listen to Master but that is only because he would never do anything to hurt me. an abortion would hurt me.) If I was ordered to have an abortion I would find out the hard way that Master was not the right one for me. While I am all for a womans right to chose and I think abortion for others is ok when it comes to me i would NEVER have an abortion (unless the baby was going to be deathly ill. Tay sachs happens to run on my side of the family, or if it would put my life in jepredy) Master would have his say but at the end of the day just like I wouldnt go and kill his worst enamy if he told me to I would not have an abortion and I would have to make the desition that was right for me.

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 12/8/2006 10:37:05 AM >

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

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(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:37:57 AM

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This is no different than any other limits discussion.

For me, as a slave I accept the owners ultimate authority in this matter to breed me or not as he sees fit.

However, just like ANY decision an owner may make about their property, some may ask for input, some may make a joint decision, some may not care at all.

This is why I roll my eyes when people list off limits as "kids, dogs and death"- what about THIS sort of stuff? THIS is the stuff that we actually DEAL with in life, the stuff you actually have to TALK about and really make sure you are understanding on.

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(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:38:54 AM

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This really is one of those areas I am somewhat surprised to find many (apparently) don't discuss before things get "emotionally involved" between them. No nasty kinds of judgmentalism intended on my part by this comment, btw. But - it's important to know these things (!) I had a similar scare in my late twenties (before I married), and ever since, I tried to make sure I discussed it with the other person re: What we'd maybe do, etc. Since I was only with two people, it wasn't really an issue, though (and one person definitely wanted no children, so it was moot). But the topic kind of makes me glad I am now menopausal (really). Good topic!

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/8/2006 11:20:06 AM >

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RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:40:00 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

it depends on the dynamics of the relationship, imo. if one is unowned, then i think pretty much anything can go...a joint decision/submissive's choice/Dom's choice, whatever is most natural for that particular relationship. however if one is a slave, this decision is entirely up to the Owner, imo. has nothing to do with trying to live out a fantasy, but more with accepting the reality that one is a slave ALWAYS, not just when it's convenient. unfortunately my Master and i have had to deal with this situation in the past, and it was his decision to abort. left to my own devices, i likely would have attempted to carry to term and give up for adoption, as i've had abortions in the past and really wanted to be through with that. but my body belongs to someone else, therefore the decision was in his hands. He did ask for my feelings about it, but only after he had already firmly decided what he was going to do.

Im sorry I know where you are comeing from as a slave however if the Master doesnt want children HE should be moer carfull not to get you pregnent. If he wants the luxery of haveing sole choice on what happens to the baby then he also must take sole responsability for you getting pregnent. Please remeber abortion isnt a form of birth controll!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:41:50 AM

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Wow, I am surprised you didn't discuss this issue before starting a relationship, especially if you know you are fertile and of child-bearing age. The biological father has a legal obligation to help with support of his offspring. You can refuse this support, of course. Ultimately though, a woman is responsible for her own womb.

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RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:44:07 AM

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As a slave; yes he would also own that part of me.

As a submissive; no, it would be a joint decision; with the final ultimatly resting with me.

These are just my own opinions as applied to my own life though.

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RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:48:29 AM

FelinePersuasion

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I would not take on any one as a dom or a master who'd expect me to get an abortion or give up a baby because he was dom he said so. As us being mature adults, I expect him to be ready to accept that sex, even with condoms can bring about pregnancy and he can not simply "make it go away".

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:51:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: starshineowned

quote:

As a submissive/slave would you do whatever your dominant/master told you to do in this situation, or would you have to make the choice yourself and try to do what you thought was right for the child? As a dominant/master would you give an order or would you let her decide? Would you be supportive of the choice, even if it wasn't one you agreed with?

I just would not have nor ever enter any relationship of any type not already having the answers to these questions. If you choose to enter the life as a slave to someone then your choices no longer are of free will regarding anything with the exception of no longer being a slave and leaving because it's the law. If you get the choices it's from the Owner to do so. If your not willing to agree to that then don't think you should A. be a slave, and B. be someone's slave before you have thuroughly discussed such realities.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

Sometimes people change their minds when confronted with the reality of a situation. The person who said they would keep the child and raise it might suddenly change their mind and want an abortion.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to starshineowned)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:52:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Im sorry I know where you are comeing from as a slave however if the Master doesnt want children HE should be moer carfull not to get you pregnent. If he wants the luxery of haveing sole choice on what happens to the baby then he also must take sole responsability for you getting pregnent. Please remeber abortion isnt a form of birth controll!!!

Magik's slave

as you should know, it's an Owner's perogative to do whatever the heck they want to do with their slave. if they want to line strange men up by the hundreds and have them each screw their slave unprotected, then abort when the slave becomes pregnant and then proceed to do it all over again the following week, that's their right. it may not be what you personally consider to be ethical or moral, but a Master does not have to be these things.
as for my own situation, my Master did take sole responsibility for my being pregnant, as he takes sole responsibility for anything that happens to me under his will.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Does he own my womb? - 12/8/2006 10:53:35 AM

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I don't think this decision could be made by a single person in the relationship, even if the other classifies him/herself as a slave. Remember, this is a separate human being that is forming, who if born, can not be made to disappear or go away like other things. Relationships come and go, even ones that seem to be the strongest, but a decision like this can scar or burden a woman for the rest of her life. It is for this reason that I think it should be ultimately up to her, with his input taken into consideration, because in the end, it is the woman who knows if she is ready or not for whatever choice she/they decided upon.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

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