RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV)

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RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:03:03 PM

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

dang i don't think i have posted this much since i joined CM lol. you *DomwithHSV* seemed to have triggered one of my own problems that i need to face.
i am utterly worn out from typing but i wanted to leave you with a 'welome to CM'. i hope things go well for you.
take care,
jenny who is going to try very hard to turn OFF the pc and not continue to type :p

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:04:19 PM

abytchgoddess4u

Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomwithHSV
I'm new here and have been glancing at the submissive women in my area. Though one out of 4-5 people have HSV (and probably more among the sexually liberated or active), this people site seem to defy all odds.
Not one person here has HSV!
Or...
Not one person here is admitting it.
I wonder which it is and why it is. Guesses anyone? It's not exactly AIDS now, is it?

I have HSV-II...

I admit it openly and encourage others to do so as well. I didn't put it as part of my profile b/c honestly...it's a very small part of me. However, I do tell people either during the first phone conversation or first meet...and I tend to meet quickly, if they're worth my time.

Besides; I am me...not simply a virus or a diagnosis.

Considering the amount of jerkoffs that respond to my profile, I also did not want to add to the numbers. If I reject someone outright...due to distance or some other reason, I don't want them to round on me and slap me with any insult that involves the word "infected". They already attempt to attack me for being fat or ugly if they are rejected...why feed the fire?

In my Alt/AFF profiles, it's listed in the background question section...but there isn't one of those here.

_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:07:55 PM

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomwithHSV

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

There are specific dating sites for people who have stds.
Google it.

You feel "my kind" does not belong here?

Aileen i think i would have taken your post the same way. especially the brevity of the post, then the 'google it'.

The impression that I got from the OP was that he was specifically searching for those that had HSV.

Yes, I am. But I am aware that people feel undeservedly horrified of getting HSV (there are no side affects other than in childbirth that may cause harm.). I KNOW that few here put that they are afflicted with HSV. I just wondered on this post "why?"

It is nothing. It is a thing that bothers me once a year. Yet others treat us like often like a horror.

Yes, I am seeking someone with HSV. i was truly surprised than in the anonimty of such a site, that more would just not come right out and say it. Few do...

And MANY must be so afflicted. Out of these posts in this thread, odds are likely someone is hiding their truth in having HSV.

If you are not a masochist and live in the NYC area and are between the ages of 30-40 something, do drop me a line, please...

LOL!

(in reply to Aileen68)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:13:16 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

What is HSV

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:15:56 PM

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abytchgoddess4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomwithHSV
I'm new here and have been glancing at the submissive women in my area. Though one out of 4-5 people have HSV (and probably more among the sexually liberated or active), this people site seem to defy all odds.
Not one person here has HSV!
Or...
Not one person here is admitting it.
I wonder which it is and why it is. Guesses anyone? It's not exactly AIDS now, is it?

I have HSV-II...

I admit it openly and encourage others to do so as well. I didn't put it as part of my profile b/c honestly...it's a very small part of me. However, I do tell people either during the first phone conversation or first meet...and I tend to meet quickly, if they're worth my time.

Besides; I am me...not simply a virus or a diagnosis.

Considering the amount of jerkoffs that respond to my profile, I also did not want to add to the numbers. If I reject someone outright...due to distance or some other reason, I don't want them to round on me and slap me with any insult that involves the word "infected". They already attempt to attack me for being fat or ugly if they are rejected...why feed the fire?

In my Alt/AFF profiles, it's listed in the background question section...but there isn't one of those here.

Yes, the women here (from reading profiles) seem to have taken a large amount of abuse from those rejected or proposing to meet. I guess "bow down to me bitch" seems to be a standard ice breaker in messages from males. I can't imagine what said Doms use as a rejection response.

I have tried the same approach in the outside world; usually it ends whatever relationship I am seeking. I DO wish more with HSV would flock to HSV dating sites-it would be a whole lot easier, this life and finding a mate.

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:16:28 PM

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

hsv, herpes simplex virus
and oops yeah, i didnt turn off the pc.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:16:48 PM

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

hehe..well can't say as I'd be horrified to get it..but like with any annoyance most tend to try hard to not have them or take on more than they already have. Sort of funny actually because I think alot more people try harder to avoid health annoyances than they do issue's that can wipe them off the face of the planet..ie..smoking..over-eating/heart attack etc. etc. ..smoke them smokes and feed that face..thats what lifes all about!

yes am a smoker to..lol.

Well Wishes

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:31:50 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

stef? it does effect the way i interact, even online.

You're comparing apples and oranges. HSV doesn't affect people like fibromyalgia does. I have a co-worker with fibromyalgia and it's been nearly a year since she's been into the office. She has to work from home because the commute would wear her down to the point that she would be unable to work once she made it in. On the other hand, most people never even know they have HSV.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomwithHSV:

The point is this: if you are an optimist (a club I surely place my hat in), then you must at least hope this site will bear fruition in finding that which we seek (those of us unattached). If you are serious about finding someone, and wish to be open as such relationship (or any relationship) requires, why not begin with honesty rather than develop hopes which your "secret" might immediately extinguish anyway?

There's a world of difference between telling complete strangers that you have a medical condition that will never affect your interaction with them and telling someone with whom you are trying to develop a personal relationship. If the former is something you feel compelled to do, that's entirely your prerogative. I just take issue with the "It looks as though I'm the only honest person here" tone that rings out from your original post.

I wish you luck finding that which you seek.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:39:18 PM

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
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I think you'll find like every other Dom with a profile, its had to find a sub on this site. HSV not withstanding. From what Ive seen on sites, Herpes is very misunderstood. A lot of people would see you as a leper. Its sad really. But thats the way it is.

The new one people are freaking out over is HPV. Thats the cervical cancer causing virus. So I would suggest against coming up with a name like SubwithHPV.

(in reply to starshineowned)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:39:39 PM

abytchgoddess4u

Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomwithHSV
Yes, the women here (from reading profiles) seem to have taken a large amount of abuse from those rejected or proposing to meet. I guess "bow down to me bitch" seems to be a standard ice breaker in messages from males. I can't imagine what said Doms use as a rejection response.

I have tried the same approach in the outside world; usually it ends whatever relationship I am seeking. I DO wish more with HSV would flock to HSV dating sites-it would be a whole lot easier, this life and finding a mate.

Well, I'm a Domme, so I usually get the initial contact of, "I'll "let" you "force" me to crossdress/suck other guys off/serve you orally/etc."

or,

"You're PERFECT for me!!! I'll be your everything, total 100% TRUE SLAVE, will give you all of me, with NO strings attached...I have NO personal needs! But I really, really love it and can't wait for when I get to serve YOU and YOUR needs!!! I'll lick you and suck you and be your toy...my hard limits are pain, humiliation, chastity, and bondage."

Uhhh, did said sub actually READ my profile? Hrmmm, I'm guessing "no".

I have pretty good luck with the upfront thing in RL. I very rarely get rejected specifically for the herp...usually it's b/c I really am a dominant person and the fetishists run screaming when I won't cater to their crap...

I was on a HSV dating site years ago and only ever got responses from guys with HIV...totally different kettle of fish, not gonna go there.

_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 3:56:07 PM

Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

HSV is so prevalent. I've known so many people who have it, although not a lover. It's manageable, and I really doubt that it would keep me from being with someone I desired. There are ways to work around it and protect one's partner. I just don't see it as a big deal.

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 4:01:41 PM

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

stef? it does effect the way i interact, even online.

You're comparing apples and oranges. HSV doesn't affect people like fibromyalgia does. I have a co-worker with fibromyalgia and it's been nearly a year since she's been into the office. She has to work from home because the commute would wear her down to the point that she would be unable to work once she made it in. On the other hand, most people never even know they have HSV.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomwithHSV:

The point is this: if you are an optimist (a club I surely place my hat in), then you must at least hope this site will bear fruition in finding that which we seek (those of us unattached). If you are serious about finding someone, and wish to be open as such relationship (or any relationship) requires, why not begin with honesty rather than develop hopes which your "secret" might immediately extinguish anyway?

There's a world of difference between telling complete strangers that you have a medical condition that will never affect your interaction with them and telling someone with whom you are trying to develop a personal relationship. If the former is something you feel compelled to do, that's entirely your prerogative. I just take issue with the "It looks as though I'm the only honest person here" tone that rings out from your original post.

I wish you luck finding that which you seek.

~stef
[/quote

apples and oranges maybe, both are fruit. and both DO impact an intimate relationship. granted Lupus, TMJ, Fibromyalgia & Macular Degeneration are not transferable but any chronic permanant problem needs awareness and often special care on both sides of the relationship.

(in reply to stef)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 4:15:46 PM

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/9/2006
Status: offline

[/quote]
There's a world of difference between telling complete strangers that you have a medical condition that will never affect your interaction with them and telling someone with whom you are trying to develop a personal relationship. If the former is something you feel compelled to do, that's entirely your prerogative. I just take issue with the "It looks as though I'm the only honest person here" tone that rings out from your original post.

I wish you luck finding that which you seek.

~stef
[/quote]

I am here to develop a personal relationship. That is the only reason I am here. As to the "only honest person here" that was hardly my intent. I believe there are many honest people here for what they desire is not exactly main stream, and just being here is probably more honest than most could be.

I was merely surprised that in such a place, where dreams fantasy are wished (and perhaps even found), that more are not upfront about Herpes. I believe many here are HSV positive. I wonder how many hide it from the lovers they find here.

I would guess quite a few....

Wouldn't you?

(in reply to stef)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 4:18:59 PM

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/9/2006
Status: offline

A sidebar:

Just for kicks I just signed up for a HSV dating site. In "search" I placed the word "submissive." In all of New York State, there was one match:

She is a switch, a rather heavy switch. Nothing wrong with the weight, I just prefer thin and fit, and I 'm not a switch. Somehow, I don't think I will find what I seek at a HSV dating site. There are no HSV bdsm personal sites. None that I have found, at least.

(in reply to cjenny)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 4:23:23 PM

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

I think you'll find like every other Dom with a profile, its had to find a sub on this site. HSV not withstanding. From what Ive seen on sites, Herpes is very misunderstood. A lot of people would see you as a leper. Its sad really. But thats the way it is.

The new one people are freaking out over is HPV. Thats the cervical cancer causing virus. So I would suggest against coming up with a name like SubwithHPV.

Considering 75% of all sexually active females will have HPV by the time they are 50 (it's a statistic I just looked up), none should be too concerned. Btw-there is no way for a male to actually KNOW he has HPV. It has no symptoms, no side affects, and there is no mandated test for it. Hell of a virus, eh?

It says: there are hundreds of strains of HPV, and in the most serious cases cervical cancer is rare (rarer stilll when detected early).

(in reply to sophia37)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 4:28:30 PM

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
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I'm sort of surprised at the non-chalant reaction you're getting here so far. I'll be frank. I was on a philandering site and when the topic of herps arose, it turned into mass hysteria. I almost think this is a pretty true picture of what people really think about herpes.
You can be a philanderer, but you cant have herpes. On this site it seems, you can have herpes but you cant be a philanderer. Its always something I guess.

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 4:49:58 PM

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

I'm sort of surprised at the non-chalant reaction you're getting here so far. I'll be frank. I was on a philandering site and when the topic of herps arose, it turned into mass hysteria. I almost think this is a pretty true picture of what people really think about herpes.
You can be a philanderer, but you cant have herpes. On this site it seems, you can have herpes but you cant be a philanderer. Its always something I guess.

Yes, herpes is the AIDS of the alt.world. Such an odd reality break from the actual. i have had herpes since it was thought of even worse than today. i was married for many years. Now out and seeking it has proven vexing beyond my wildest imagination. I guess BDSM sites are no different than most: tolerance is shown by honesty. One out of every four has HSV here, yet only one out of hundreds of profiles wishes to say, "Yup, I got it...anyone else." This is not being unkind or holding myself up to be the one honest one, it is merely fact. Why anyone who eventually will be up front with a lover, seeks a lover here without mentioning that they have HSV right at the start is beyond me. Others may be true in saying what business is it to say it in profiles. Yet it seems a good majority of people here are here to search for mates, so I must assume they will either tell or not tell.

I just choose to tell before I write anyone. Problem is...there is no one here to write. Shame. I do love to write.

I guess I was just hoping that in a place so open about certain issues, this one would be no big deal.

I think that hope is put to rest...

Drag!

(in reply to sophia37)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 5:01:41 PM

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Isnt herpes simplex virus what produces cold sores in the area of the mouth, and happens to be the same virus that appears "down there" as an STD?

If products like Zovirax work on cold sores around the mouth, isnt there the same effect "down there"?

I've never ever heard of anyone announcing to a date that they have cold sores every now and then, or indeed anyone being put that much off someone they really like, because they have cold sores. I havent seen anyone with cold sores around either, in years - I take it that with the high infection rate, people are using Zovirax and its competitors to prevent their appearance.

If it can be controlled, and the appearance of the genital variety of cold sores prevented, then is it really that big a deal? I also heard that its only infectious from the cold sores themselves, so if its managed so that the sores dont appear, then is there a problem?

I'm just talking what I've heard here, so if anyone can comment on the above then please do to correct my ignorance; just dont flame me over it though!

If what I wrote is true, then I wonder whether DomwithHSV is not using the whole issue as an excuse? That sounds a lot more harsh than I want it to sound, but I'm too tired to put it better sorry! Its just that it reminds me of the crossdresser's lament that its purely because they like to dress that no one loves them.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to sophia37)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 5:05:23 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Im sorry but I find the fact that its in your name to be a little bit creepy. I agree 100% you should be honest with any potential partners about it. But to put it in your name is alnost like your wearing it like a badge of honor like its a good thing something your proud of. Im sorry but I really find it creepy.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 12/9/2006 5:21:44 PM

Posts: 510
Joined: 7/11/2006
Status: offline

I got crabs once when I was a teen. The cutest lil bank teller you ever seen took me home with her.
Several times, seems I was not the only one she took home often.
Dam them crabs. they are nasty lil critters... course, so was she. *S*

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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