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RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 12:24:11 PM   
cjenny


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MLskajira

wow
lets say that there is no safe word and this is not the early stages of the relationship and nothing like this has happened before.
lets suppose that He has been stressed out by work and family duties for a while and it just starts comming out.
does the slave have the right, either legally or lifestyle-wise, too inform Him that she will involve outside sources if He does not stop when she truely fears damage?



she is more experianced than He, by quite a few years, although He is older.
T/they have known each other for almost 3 years and He has owned her for 2.
T/they have never had a safe word.
in the beginning aftercare was minimal, but at the time of the incident, it was top-notch.
in the entire relationship, this is the only occurence. it never happened before and hasnt happened since.
was it maybe the fact that she told Him she would call the cops?
or was it because she was so distressed that she would say something like that?



communicating was listed as an option. she asked if she should tough it out and discuss it with Him later.
lets say the blows brought blood and that He chased her around the room hitting her with an implement anywhere He could reach. her head, arms, shoulders, legs, and face.
lets say that He was so intent that He didnt appear to hear her screaming at Him to stop until she said the "c" word.



I don't think I can wrap my head around the idea of someone being in fear for their life/well being and not being able to change that. If there has been discussion beforehand as said by the OP then there is a reasonable expectation of safety no?
Not an instance of not wanting to continue a scene but an instance where the Master seems to be out of control.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

    
 that's just it...a slave has no "final control", that is something that comes with the territory of being property. generally, a slave has no right to say "no" or "stop" to the one who owns them. and certainly no right to inform outside authorities. the details are still a little skimpy for me to really comment much, but from what has been explained of the situation, if it were me, i would simply continue to do my best to be a good, obedient slave, providing a place of comfort and solace and release from the stresses of his life, and hope that "this too, will pass."


   The OP implies that this is a bit more than something to wait out and hope will pass.


*stamped IMO

(in reply to MLskajira)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 1:04:16 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny






I don't think I can wrap my head around the idea of someone being in fear for their life/well being and not being able to change that. If there has been discussion beforehand as said by the OP then there is a reasonable expectation of safety no?
Not an instance of not wanting to continue a scene but an instance where the Master seems to be out of control.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

   
that's just it...a slave has no "final control", that is something that comes with the territory of being property. generally, a slave has no right to say "no" or "stop" to the one who owns them. and certainly no right to inform outside authorities. the details are still a little skimpy for me to really comment much, but from what has been explained of the situation, if it were me, i would simply continue to do my best to be a good, obedient slave, providing a place of comfort and solace and release from the stresses of his life, and hope that "this too, will pass."


  The OP implies that this is a bit more than something to wait out and hope will pass.


*stamped IMO


you don't seem to understand that for many slaves, "waiting it out" is all they can do. that or just simply learn to bear it. slave is not a position of power and freedom.

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 1:12:29 PM   
cjenny


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Daddysprop247


So... even though 'the option of communication'  has been discussed and agreed upon it doesn't matter?
That is the crux of the matter for me, that it had already been agreed upon by the Master.
I understand not having the option, but the Master HAD given her an option.
I feel like that would mean that anything the Master said could be a lie and trust broken BECAUSE of the pre-agreement.

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 1:22:31 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

Daddysprop247


So... even though 'the option of communication'  has been discussed and agreed upon it doesn't matter?
That is the crux of the matter for me, that it had already been agreed upon by the Master.
I understand not having the option, but the Master HAD given her an option.
I feel like that would mean that anything the Master said could be a lie and trust broken BECAUSE of the pre-agreement.


He may have given her the option to freely communicate, but 1. that is just talking, not action, and 2. he can take away or just plain disregard that privilege whenever he pleases. that's his perogative as Master.
i don't want to come across as cold or unfeeling...the opposite is actually true...but i also understand the reality of being someone else's property and the trials and tribulations that can sometimes bring. there have been times when i have feared my Master, times where i've been in fear for my sanity, or in fear of my life. but what could i "do" about it? on the surface, nothing really. all i could do was work on myself on the inside, to reach a point of full acceptance of my place, and reach a state of peace where you truly feel, "it is what it is. what will be will be." to me, that is healthier than living in misery hoping or trying to change a person.

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 2:09:21 PM   
justheather


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quote:

ORIGINAL: erebus
Yeah, I'm fully aware of the meaning of the word 'potential'.  I still stand by my feeling that Albatross was dissing an entire gender. 




Which gender does "ANYONE" fall under?


_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to erebus)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 2:13:48 PM   
cjenny


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daddysprop,
I am not trying to change anyones mind lol. I am trying to understand ideas and thoughts of others. I'm questioning for the sake of answers not for the sake of swaying anyone to another view.

*edited to add that yes sometimes I need to question something from different angles to fully grasp it.


< Message edited by cjenny -- 1/5/2007 2:30:46 PM >

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 5:25:02 PM   
SirDominic


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cjenny, to answer your question, no Dom or Master worth a damn would ever whip their sub/slave in anger. If he or she is that angry about life, it's time to go for a walk, work it off. Taking it out on someone who has put their care in your hands is abuse, just as if a parent beat their child under the same conditions. A Dom does not "get out of hand", if he is really a Dom, he is in control any time he is playing. If he, for whatever reason loses that control, he will stop the scene. Otherwise it is abuse and illegal; it is that simple.

For those "Masters" who believe they have total and complete to do with their slaves as they will - that is hogwash, too. These people have lost all sense of reality, as far as I am concerned. Master/slave relationships are about play; sometimes very heavy play, but play none the less. If anyone has ANY doubt, just ask any legally qualified person. Real slavery is a crime.

In this lifestyle, we do fantasy slavery. To my mind, any sub who allows themselves to be put in a position where they give up all control, to the point that they believe they must take any punishment no matter how serious, has real head problems.

Sir Dominic

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 6:22:07 PM   
defiantbadgirl


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I totally agree Sir Dominic. I've had so many doms want to meet and scene with me. I turn them down because they either don't allow hard limits or don't allow a safeword, sometimes neither. But many on here openly admit to meeting someone for the first time and going without any hard limits or safewords. I have no right to judge them any more than they do me, but I just can't understand it.

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 6:54:02 PM   
cjenny


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Thankyou SirDominic.

defiantbadgirl? I have nothing against scening with strangers or not having a safe word, my problem was in the relinquishing of all personal responsibility to ones life. The first time I met my Dom of 6 years I was with him & it was fantastic.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 8:52:51 PM   
MLskajira


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daddysprop247,
although this girl respects your right to your opinion she feels she must say that although she is a slave who lives as His slave 24/7 real time, she DOES have a choice and if her Master crosses the prearrainged line and refuses to discuss it with this girl, then she can leave, He can NOT beat her unconscience or hold her against her will, let her repete "against her will". this is not the 19 century or the fantasy world of Gor and no matter had badly a "Master" or "slave" wishes He could maim and abuse His slaves, in this day and age, unless the slave agrees to the maiming and abuse then it is NOT o.k. Masters and slaves alike need to remember that outside of T/their lifestyle choice there are mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters that love and care about T/their well being and would launch an all out strike against A/anyone who harms their loved one. that is the reality of liviing the lifestyle in this time for a lot of P/people, in this girl's most humble opinion.
the girl in this situation did not agree to be beaten enough to bring blood and she has tried to get His attention to her distress.
in this senario, the Master and slave love each other deeply and truely respect each other. as she said earlier, this is the only incident of this nature in the entire time T/they have known each other and N/neither one wants to call an end to the relationship.
 this is not an ongoing problem for T/them.


_____________________________

378-828-272

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 9:29:26 PM   
edana


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Joined: 10/13/2004
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By Leonidas, logged in as his slave, again.

quote:

For those "Masters" who believe they have total and complete to do with their slaves as they will - that is hogwash, too. These people have lost all sense of reality, as far as I am concerned. Master/slave relationships are about play; sometimes very heavy play, but play none the less. If anyone has ANY doubt, just ask any legally qualified person. Real slavery is a crime.


It is so funny.  We had this debate over a decade ago on the old ASB, and I guess it still goes on, or people who weren't party to those debates just keep stirring the same damn pot.  Some people don't play at this.  There are people who have completely surrendered their autonomy in return for their owner accepting responsibility for their well-being and the outcomes in their lives.  We call them slaves.  No, they have not lost all sense of reality, they just live a reality that you do not.  Legality has nothing to do with consensual (though absolutely real) enslavement.  Legality only comes into play if someone decides that they don't want to be a slave anymore. 

You don't have to like it.  You don't have to do it.  If play is the alpha and omega for you, keep right on playing.  Just try to muster up maybe just a little bit of respect for those for whom it isn't, if you can.

Be well.

_____________________________

In service,

edana

"Discipline turns talent into ability"

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: going too far - 1/5/2007 10:21:35 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MLskajira

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Distress does not equal revoking consent.


I am glad you said this.  I have been in distress before while in Master's usage.  He put me there intentionally as part of a learning process.  I did not want to be there, but did not ask him to stop, either.  He kept me there until he deemed it necessary to pull me out.

The result was phenomenal, and about 6 months later something happened in my life that was absolutely more than I could bear (having nothing to do with my Master at the time) - or so I thought.  When I thought I would crumble, I drew upon that time of distress and realized my incredible strength at going through it....and not only did I not crumble but I faced what was happening dead-on.

In some relationship dynamics, the Master really does know what the slave needs, more than she does.

As for the OP, I'm not sure why simply communicating with her Master wasn't listed as an option.  There is a lot of room for speculation in your hypothetical.  Just how hard were the blows?  I receive  blows that I think are too hard but that are not damaging at all - I'm just a pain wimp.  If I think I am actually in danger, my reaction to him changes in that I shriek and panic (like once when I thought my ankle was breaking).  If going into a "scene" with him I am afraid of something, he will absolutely know that fear before he starts on me.

However, in my dynamic, I do not have the option of stopping a session.  I do have the option of communicating to him during the session however, and he decides from there.  If it got to the point where I considered calling the police on him and/or threatened to, my CM name would probably have to change to "unownedgirlie." 




communicating was listed as an option. she asked if she should tough it out and discuss it with Him later.
lets say the blows brought blood and that He chased her around the room hitting her with an implement anywhere He could reach. her head, arms, shoulders, legs, and face.
lets say that He was so intent that He didnt appear to hear her screaming at Him to stop until she said the "c" word.



I am allowed to communicate, too.  That doesn't mean if I communicate distress, Master will stop what he is doing.  For some of us, we are at our Masters' whim, and we have only those rights our Masters give us. 

As for your "let's say" scenario - should that happen to me, yes I would be highly distressed.  But that would be my lot that day.  It might stress me. It might traumatize me.  It might damage me.  But all I could do is deal with it, however I could, and talk to him about it later.  I have had distressing situations before, where all I could do was deal with it.  I think I mentioned that in my post already, but it was overlooked, or somehow not as bad as the scenario you laid out (although I'm not sure how you made that determination, since I didn't say what it was). 

I stick with what I said.  If I ever choose to call the police on him, I will no longer be owned, because calling the police means I have taken his power, control and authority away, and no longer want it.

I am under the impression by your responses that you posted the OP hoping to get agreement that calling the cops was okay.  You seem to be resenting, or at least arguing, those with differing opinions.

(in reply to MLskajira)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: going too far - 1/6/2007 11:04:07 AM   
MLskajira


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/17/2006
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this girl does not understand the attatude of some of the posters.
this girl WAS used as a genuine slave for many years. she TRUELY had no rights, they COULD have killed her at any point, on a whim.
this girl would NEVER willingly put herself back into the same type of situation.
but she guesses one would have had to survive it to really understand the lack of information that is behind those statements.
and edana, this girl is so glad you said that. many of us are not doing this on-line or part time but every day, all day long.


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(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: going too far - 1/6/2007 11:22:28 AM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MLskajira

this girl does not understand the attatude of some of the posters.
this girl WAS used as a genuine slave for many years. she TRUELY had no rights, they COULD have killed her at any point, on a whim.
this girl would NEVER willingly put herself back into the same type of situation.
but she guesses one would have had to survive it to really understand the lack of information that is behind those statements.
and edana, this girl is so glad you said that. many of us are not doing this on-line or part time but every day, all day long.



You have posed a question, and then you have criticized the answers you do not like.  What was your purpose for posing the question? 

(in reply to MLskajira)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: going too far - 1/6/2007 11:34:36 AM   
MLskajira


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ownedgirlie,
to see how people think, and it worked.
and just because this girl expresses herself in pretty much the same way you did, doesnt mean she is critisizing anyone. were you?
 she was only saying what she has seen first hand.
 this girl knows not many have seen the same things she has and been able to speak of it, so she was trying NOT to citicize anyone.


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Profile   Post #: 115
RE: going too far - 1/6/2007 11:37:30 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: erebus

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Anyone is POTENTIALLY abusive. 


I have to question if perhaps you are reading a different dictionary definition of the word POTENTIAL?
 
You do notice that this is what she said?


Yeah, I'm fully aware of the meaning of the word 'potential'.  I still stand by my feeling that Albatross was dissing an entire gender. 


She wasn't dissing any gender - she said "anyone".


(in reply to erebus)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: going too far - 1/6/2007 11:44:09 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic
Master/slave relationships are about play; sometimes very heavy play, but play none the less. If anyone has ANY doubt, just ask any legally qualified person. Real slavery is a crime.

In this lifestyle, we do fantasy slavery. To my mind, any sub who allows themselves to be put in a position where they give up all control, to the point that they believe they must take any punishment no matter how serious, has real head problems.


The way I live my life, it's not fantasy.  It's not (always) play.

Yes, there are laws in my land that do not allow my owner to hold me against my will.  But there are also laws in my land that do not allow my owner to hit me, even if I like it.

It's my prerogative as a free human being and citizen of the United States to not only have these freedoms under the law - but also to put these freedoms aside for the duration of my relationship.  If I need them, they're there.  But I plan to never need them.

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: going too far - 1/6/2007 11:45:16 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MLskajira

ownedgirlie,
to see how people think, and it worked.
and just because this girl expresses herself in pretty much the same way you did, doesnt mean she is critisizing anyone. were you?
she was only saying what she has seen first hand.

No, but then I did not make assumptions as to "part time" nor did I decide who has "truly" experienced such things and who has not. Nor did I mention anything about "lack of information" about other people's posts.  So no, we did not express ourselves the same.

Many slaves here have no rights - TRULY.  Many here could be killed on a whim.  

quote:


this girl knows not many have seen the same things she has and been able to speak of it, so she was trying NOT to citicize anyone.

This is another assumption.  It may be accurate, it may be inaccurate.  But some of us answered your question based on our own personal information.  My own response was challenged as though what I may have gone through could not possibly be as hard - yet I did not mention what I went through.  So I found your assumption and challenge a little insulting.

(in reply to MLskajira)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: going too far - 1/6/2007 12:01:55 PM   
MLskajira


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MLskajira

ownedgirlie,
to see how people think, and it worked.
and just because this girl expresses herself in pretty much the same way you did, doesnt mean she is critisizing anyone. were you?
she was only saying what she has seen first hand.

No, but then I did not make assumptions as to "part time" nor did I decide who has "truly" experienced such things and who has not. Nor did I mention anything about "lack of information" about other people's posts.  So no, we did not express ourselves the same.

Many slaves here have no rights - TRULY.  Many here could be killed on a whim.

  if that is true, then the autorities need to be called immediately!
genuine slavery is NOT consensual but something that is forced on another human. this girl makes this statement based on her own, personal experiance.
 she is not saying anything about being ""truely" experianced" in the lifestlye, but the reality is that most who have been in the shackles of people who really do traffick in human flesh, are not common, either because they are dead, refused access to any outside influence or just too damn scared to speak out.
and those who are not "part-time" need not pay any attention to the statement as it does not apply to them, bubt there are quite a few who it does apply to.

quote:


this girl knows not many have seen the same things she has and been able to speak of it, so she was trying NOT to citicize anyone.

This is another assumption.  It may be accurate, it may be inaccurate.  But some of us answered your question based on our own personal information.  My own response was challenged as though what I may have gone through could not possibly be as hard - yet I did not mention what I went through.  So I found your assumption and challenge a little insulting.

 as she stated before... she KNOWS that most who have been through what she has are dead, isolated or scared. there is NO assumption, it is a fact.
no where in any of her statements has she said that what happened to you was any worse or not as bad as what happened to the slave in this story.
and this girl doesnt see where she has challenged you or anyone else.
 why are you so defensive?


_____________________________

378-828-272

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: going too far - 1/6/2007 2:34:04 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: edana

By Leonidas, logged in as his slave, again.

quote:

For those "Masters" who believe they have total and complete to do with their slaves as they will - that is hogwash, too. These people have lost all sense of reality, as far as I am concerned. Master/slave relationships are about play; sometimes very heavy play, but play none the less. If anyone has ANY doubt, just ask any legally qualified person. Real slavery is a crime.


It is so funny.  We had this debate over a decade ago on the old ASB, and I guess it still goes on, or people who weren't party to those debates just keep stirring the same damn pot.  Some people don't play at this.  There are people who have completely surrendered their autonomy in return for their owner accepting responsibility for their well-being and the outcomes in their lives.  We call them slaves.  No, they have not lost all sense of reality, they just live a reality that you do not.  Legality has nothing to do with consensual (though absolutely real) enslavement.  Legality only comes into play if someone decides that they don't want to be a slave anymore. 

You don't have to like it.  You don't have to do it.  If play is the alpha and omega for you, keep right on playing.  Just try to muster up maybe just a little bit of respect for those for whom it isn't, if you can.

Be well.



thank you edana, you took the words right out of my mouth.

(in reply to edana)
Profile   Post #: 120
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