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"What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 5:31:02 PM

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
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Anyone else get totally pissed off when someone (even someone you've liked up to that point) asks this question?

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Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 5:36:32 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

nope, this is a kink site, i am a kinkster, and it seems to me par for the course....if it comes up too early i tell them so, but i think there is a tremendous amount of value to know if kinks match up early on, because imo its a pretty important part of compatability.

i would however prefer a straighter approach, but sometimes communication skills are a part of what they come to me to learn.

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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to demistress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 5:37:55 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

i dont understand getting pissed off....can you explain it a little?

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This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 5:38:19 PM

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Joined: 7/9/2006
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I find its a hard question to answer and i dread being asked it becasue how the hell do i know what i would do to them if..... was occuring. Unlesss i am right there doing it so now i say well you would have to find out

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Proud mistress

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RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 5:41:51 PM

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

My preferences, kinks, likes, dislikes, are all clearly defined on my profile. Therefore if they have half a brain, they'll KNOW what I would do to them. Those asking are 99.9% of the time asking for a descriptive, personalized answer to wank with. The .1% who are asking for 'pure' reasons get painted with the same brush I suppose.

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Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 5:45:03 PM

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
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I totally understand why someone would get pissed off. I haven't had not one person to ask me that question that didn't use it to jerk off. And funny when I refuse to feed them stories, these same "serious" guys disappear. Imagine that.

There are ways to find if we are compatible. I don't mind them asking me generic questions....like do you do this or that...but I draw the line at giving scenarios. If they are serious, then they will take the time, and they will learn all they ever wanted to know.

Furthermore, if you and this person do get together, well there is a lot of the element of suprise that is pretty much gone.

that's the way I do things any way.

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Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

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RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 5:48:44 PM

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Joined: 8/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

My preferences, kinks, likes, dislikes, are all clearly defined on my profile. Therefore if they have half a brain, they'll KNOW what I would do to them. Those asking are 99.9% of the time asking for a descriptive, personalized answer to wank with. The .1% who are asking for 'pure' reasons get painted with the same brush I suppose.

totally agree...and like the previous poster, I have no idea what I will do to someone until I get to know them.

I get to know people, their personalities, and pattern what I do around what I learn...I don't have some cookie cutter plan....one size does not fit all. You do one thing to one person and it's fine, you do the same to another person and it could trigger some bad childhood memory....

just can't get around basic communication

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to demistress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 5:51:38 PM

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

Anyone else get totally pissed off when someone (even someone you've liked up to that point) asks this question?

YES!!!!!!

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Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to demistress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 6:03:31 PM

Posts: 53
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: Detroit metro
Status: offline

It quietly, deeply infuriates me. I do try to weed out those who are not looking for wank fodder by responding "I don't know; I don't know you. What I do is dependent on the person; I'm not working through a laundry list."

And like some of you have mentioned, the male questioner will usually depart... rapidly.

Another response that works well is this: "I'd like to get to know you as a real person, not a lump of flesh; I hope this would be reciprocal."

Makes 'em flee ever'damn time.

_____________________________

Jeni

An axe and a scalpel both draw blood. For me, I prefer the scalpel; I like my bloodletting up close and personal.

(in reply to demistress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 6:09:08 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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i see what you are talking about, but anger seems like an extreme reponse for a dominant working with a new and or potential sub....mistakes happen, people err because of new newness or hornyness, or both, but as the dom i have the ability to clearly define what is and is not acceptable behavior so i dont need to get angry...i simply correct them, and if they run a way to wank from that...tells me a lot about who they are...you know?

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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 6:46:20 PM

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Joined: 6/20/2006
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I think some get angry (Myself included) because it's insulting and it's frustrating, especially when the person *seemed* interesting once upon a time. Kind of makes you feel used or like a prostitute...blech.

With kind regard,
~Kara

< Message edited by KaramelGoddess -- 1/27/2007 6:55:35 PM >

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RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 7:53:23 PM

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

i see what you are talking about, but anger seems like an extreme reponse for a dominant working with a new and or potential sub....mistakes happen, people err because of new newness or hornyness, or both, but as the dom i have the ability to clearly define what is and is not acceptable behavior so i dont need to get angry...i simply correct them, and if they run a way to wank from that...tells me a lot about who they are...you know?

I think if you hear it enough you lose the patience for even explaining why it's an annoying thing to ask. If have patiently responded to this kind of thing 50 times, on the 51st time I probably said "Oh you are an idiot." Sad but true :)

Smythe

_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 8:06:16 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

LOL
I have come to accept most of the "submissive" men on here are do me's.
Please don't flame me on this.
I am entitled to MY opinion and that has been MY experience on collarme
and other sites similar to this.
I don't get pissed off any more, I just laugh.
There is a reason I have not met anyone on here yet.
Ma'am? I am here to serve you? What are you going to do to/for me?
hahahahahahahahaha

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Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to demistress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 8:16:38 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeniluscious

It quietly, deeply infuriates me.

(laughing mirthlessly) Yeah ... this is pretty much my response to "What would you do to me?" The first time it annoyed me as an obvious ploy for porn, and since then (the last 50 or so times), it's just gotten more intense.

MSS

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"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

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RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 8:19:43 PM

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Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

Anyone else get totally pissed off when someone (even someone you've liked up to that point) asks this question?

Why would someone else's stupidity (or ignorance) affect me - - it's not my fault they don't know any better. It's not "me" they're insulting - - they're insulting themselves. The "do me" question has nothing to do with me personally; this person probably asks these silly questions to every other woman at every given chance. In the grand scheme of things, they and their silly comments just don't matter. Just another fellow human being with a social mentality of a 4 year old. Poor critter. Maybe one day they'll get it and grow up. Or maybe not.

(in reply to demistress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 8:33:50 PM

Posts: 48
Joined: 10/5/2006
From: IN...livin in MI.
Status: offline

The majority of the subs on here don't even "read" the entire profile, they'll look at ur pic or pix & then wanna ask stupid questions like"what would you do to me"? in hopes that you'll answer as they proceed to play w/their weiners, I usually get the same dumbazz question from "novice" subs & they wonder why I don't respond...Hmmmmmm, lol

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RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 9:08:44 PM

Posts: 126
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

I think it's a good way to figure out if kinks line up.

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Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. -Jackson

Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. -Einstein

Do not consider painful what is good for you. -Medea

(in reply to demistress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 10:37:02 PM

Posts: 90
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

I just hung up on someone for that a couple of hours ago. Granted this was after I told him several times that it somewhat depends on who he is (I haven't met him yet) then told him some of my general preferences. It was also after I told him that it sounded like he wanted me to tell him something to masturbate to. He kept asking.

I will gladdly share stories of past scenes, invite prospective subs to watch me in scene, and negotiate early scenes before they happen (once we know each other well) but I will not be your free, kinky phone sex girl. There are lots of other people happy to scene on the phone, it shouldn't be hard to 'em on IRC.
N

(in reply to demistress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 10:54:46 PM

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Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

Anyone else get totally pissed off when someone (even someone you've liked up to that point) asks this question?

Instead of getting mad, you could always reply with something like "It would greatly depend on my mood. I'd have to get to know you a lot better in order to be able to answer that question." If he bolts, then he's obviously not sincerely interested in learning more about you and what you might also want him to do to serve you as well. If he doesn't bolt, then perhaps he's made a genuine error and there's something there to work with.

As others have mentioned, we're all human and many newbies are anxious to get started and perhaps want to know that their needs are likely to be met. Some are also not mature enough to have the patience it takes to develop a relationship with a woman to learn what's unique about her beyond what they see on the exterior to really yearn to be with her and desire to please her in any way they can in very unselfish ways. Perhaps that's part of what a woman needs to teach a younger sub (or an older one who has never learned)?

- pixel

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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to demistress)

RE: "What would you do to me?" - 1/27/2007 11:04:10 PM

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline

I think we are splitting hairs here...I'm sure "totally pissed off" was just a figure of speech. I doubt anyone flies into a rage and trashes the room or anything. It's just frustrating at times..that's all.

I don't get upset about hng's one way or the other, they are not in my life so let them stay in mommies basement. Even if they could make me angry I wouldn't give them the satisfaction....

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to pixelslave)

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