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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:23:26 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

Sweet Dommes,
I also don't know how you can say that what you wear is "inconsequential." For me, and I can't believe I'm alone in this, what you wear (or don't wear) adds to the sheer sensuality of the erotic act. Tight or loose clothing, frothy frills or severe leather, naked or dressed, etc seem to me to be central to the whole...project.

Adding to a scene is one thing, but are frills, leather, or whatever going to be practical for every day wear? for every day service? I think not.

Anyway, Holly is Dominant no matter what she wears - be it jeans and t-shirt, sweat pants/lounge pants and a sleep shirt, a formal gown, or anything inbetween. I happen to be a switch, so I'm not always Dominant, but when I am, again, it doesn't matter if I'm in leather, jeans, velvet, vinyl, or nothing. Our boy is submissive - no matter what he is wearing (typically jeans or shorts, or work clothes). It is the acts that are important, not the clothes. If clothing is that important to "the whole ... project" to you, then I have to agree with Lorelei that you are a bottom rather than a submissive.

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Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:23:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

Mistress BBBTBW,
Thank you, so I'm not, as some other responders claim, a selfish-sub. Kissy, kissy!

Hold up, don't get too happy. You might indeed be a selfish sub. This is only one thing I agree with you on, and thats because it happens to be one of my kinks. I don't know what you are all about.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:24:07 AM

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Dear Sweet Dommes,
I'm certainly not trying to "force my fetish" on you, or anyone else. Can we try and have a conversation that rises above the level of, say, Fox News?

_____________________________

"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil" F. Nietzsche

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:28:06 AM

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I love to dress my male slave in fem clothes or nothing. In the beginning, I was a ghast at the practice, but understand why now. It is really a necessaity in my opinion to feminize a male sub/slave in order to dominitate the. Again, just my opinion on male sub/slaves.

SCD

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:52:24 AM

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A few years ago, I thought I might be an alcho, but I don't believe in God, so I thought AA is not for me. Anyway, I found out about something called "Rational Response," which was, and probably still is, AA for atheists. But I only went to one session because all everyone talked about was how much better RR was than AA. Sometimes, this thread feels a bit like that. In other words, I'm raising these questions purely in order to understand myself better, and very definitely NOT in order to change how anyone else gets their jollies.
skirtboy

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"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil" F. Nietzsche

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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:55:30 AM

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Rational RECOVERY. Jack and Lois Trimpey's work.

www.rational.org

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(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 11:04:44 AM

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I stand corrected Farglebargle.

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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 11:05:49 AM

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From: Houston, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

Since I joined this website on Friday, the thing that most amazes me is how many mistresses don't like sissy subs. Wouldn't a straight man dressing up, or being forced into fem be the very depth of submissiveness? What's a poor lil' skirtboy to do?
Skirtboy

You made a statement and asked a question that people are replying to. I don't see how it is turning into a mine is better than yours situation. Many dominants like sissy maids. Many do not. It is simply personal preference as is with any kink or fetish. There are many ways to express one's kink. Some will appeal to some, some will not. You asked if forced fem was the very depth of submisison. Many have stated, and I agree, that it is not the "depth of submission".

Personally, I could not have said it better than this:

quote:

The very depth of submissiveness is serving the Domme precisely as she desires/requires, regardless of the submissive's personal preferences, though it only makes sense to find someone who likes the same things you do.

You go on to say:

quote:

want a mistress who wants to do to me what I want done to me, but if I tell her what I want then I've spoiled the possibility of something new and, I assume, the dom is no longer dom if she's working from my script.

This is where compatibility comes into play. You have certain desires. There IS a happy medium where everyone's needs can be met without there being a script so to speak. There's a big difference between having a preference for a particular activity and requiring it in your play.

Do you have to dress in fem clothing to serve your Mistress? Or do you do as you are told? If your Mistress is compatible and enjoys some of the same fetishes as you it can be used as a reward or mutually satisfying play. But if you are dictating exactly what is to be done to you at all times, then no, I don't think that is a dominant/submissive relationship and more a top/bottom one.

There's nothing wrong with that as long as it is clear up front what the boundaries are in your play.

But it sounds as if you are trying to find yourself and keep a level of openness to your play. Communicate that. Let a potential know what your desires are as well as your limits. But most dominants want a bit more beyond a play partner (in a LTR) and will have their own desires and limits. It's how that is navigated that will determine a successful relationship. It is also why communication up front and knowing oneself is very important.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 11:06:24 AM

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I agree with whoever made the disctiontion between a bottom and a submissive. It sounds to me like you're a bottom, which as she said, is fine, nothing wrong with that, but it is important that you regonize the distinction when searching for someone.

For argument's sake, let's assume that you are actually a submissive - then you just just need to find a Domme that is into sissification. But keep in mind that if it's only your list of kinks you want fulfulled, you'll have a harder time of it. I would suggest if you have a laundry list of kink you want filled, you seek out a Pro. IMHO that is exactly what they're for.

To answer the original question, there's two main reasons I'm not into sissy subs. One, I like my men to be all man, to dress and look like one (if I wanted someone in a skirt I would likely go looking for a woman), secondly, I personally prefer forced femme, and if you already dress that way or want it, it's not forced.

< Message edited by MistressTess -- 2/12/2007 11:07:12 AM >

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 11:06:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43
Dear Sweet Dommes,
I'm certainly not trying to "force my fetish" on you, or anyone else. Can we try and have a conversation that rises above the level of, say, Fox News?

First, since I don't watch Fox News, I'm not entirely sure what, exactly, you are trying to imply about me ... but I'm sure that you're wrong.

However, let me clarify my stand on your post a bit ...

Your topic is "why don't doms like sissies?" - implying that all Dominant women should like sissies, and that there is some sort of flaw in those of us who don't like sissies.

Then your post includes:

quote:

Wouldn't a straight man dressing up, or being forced into fem be the very depth of submissiveness?

implying that you feel that the only "twue" submissive male is one who crossdressed - despite his (or his Dominant's) feelings on the matter. Again, that says to me that you think that there is something wrong with those people who don't enjoy crossdressing/crossdressers.
You are far from the first crossdressing male to come on the board and ask such a question - not to mention all the other fetishes out there that are not as popular as others - and without fail, every time it has been with an underlying motivation to either try and force a Dominant of the correct flavor out of the woodwork, or to try and 'shame' one into ignoring the fact that they have no interest in your fetish ... either way, it's through selfish motivations to get a Dominant faster than other people who have been looking for years.

As to your last question in your original post:

quote:

What's a poor lil' skirtboy to do?

learn some patience, and expand your interests beyond crossdressing.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 11:14:26 AM

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Sweet Dommes,
Sometimes a question is just a question! My orginal question in no way supposes, as you seem to want it to, that I think that al doms should/must etc like sissies. To claim it does is to engage in Fox-like demagoguery!
SB

_____________________________

"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil" F. Nietzsche

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 11:22:22 AM

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Here's my take: I feel it's an insult to women. A man is being asked to dress up as a woman in order to be humilitated and emasculated. That implies that being a woman is somehow a negative thing and lacks power (or even strips one of power). I feel the opposite is true. Women are centers of immense power. So, when I see someone being "punished" or that they want to feel "less" by assuming a feminine role, I get irritated and annoyed.

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 11:22:38 AM

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Here's another viewpoint to the whole thing. There are those of us that dress up as girls that are looking for someone that has an interest in the same for the pure reason that it's the only way we can function completely.

Here's the back story. I've been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder, which means that even though I have a physically male body, mentally i am a female. Sweet and simple, end of story.

So, when i have a requirement of being dressed when I'm doing scenes, in my case it's not because the clothes are part of my submission. It's more of what gives me the strength to be able to do a scene (although i will admit being dressed in my maid uniform with collar and cuffs definitely evokes those submissive feelings =^_^= ) If I wasn't dressed durning a scene, then I get very self-concious about myself, because I get freaked out at the thought of someone seeing me undressed.

And also, btw, the 'sissy' genre can contain everyone on the gender bending track if they want to be included as part of it. It can go from the 6' 2" bald and bearded muscleman with hairy legs in a pink tutu all the way down to a 5' 4" girl wearing two inch heels, a nice blouse and a knee length skirt (that would be me on a regular day)

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 11:39:23 AM

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Ok here is a direct answer to you question, some just dont. Some like fat women, some like thin women, some like dark skinned men some like little petite asian women, and some like cross dressers, and some do not, it is a matter of prferance, nothing more, nothing less.

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Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 11:51:08 AM

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I am probably one of the few Dommes who doesn't mind a crossdresser. My boy dresses and enjoys it. I think its kinda fun myself so I do not have a problem with it. When he is in his boots 'n jeans you would never guess he was a crossdresser bascially because he is a macho kinda guy.

I love him either way, though I do prefer him naked

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 1:00:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

Sweet Dommes,
I also don't know how you can say that what you wear is "inconsequential." For me, and I can't believe I'm alone in this, what you wear (or don't wear) adds to the sheer sensuality of the erotic act. Tight or loose clothing, frothy frills or severe leather, naked or dressed, etc seem to me to be central to the whole...project.

But is this really "forcing" you as you say in your opening post?
Sissies2Serve

< Message edited by GuidingLite -- 2/12/2007 1:02:05 PM >

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 2:53:53 PM

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the ultimate submission for me is doing what I ask being pelasing and being a genuine person, being availible often. it doesn't have anything to do for me with clothing. there's a differnce between a fetish and submission.

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 3:48:25 PM

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Ms Veruca,
Now that's a good point! I'm not sure how to defend against it, except to say that the sissy stuff is about an old-fashioned, weak notion of feminity, not the modent one.

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"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil" F. Nietzsche

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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 3:58:45 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

Since I joined this website on Friday, the thing that most amazes me is how many mistresses don't like sissy subs. Wouldn't a straight man dressing up, or being forced into fem be the very depth of submissiveness? What's a poor lil' skirtboy to do?
Skirtboy

I have huge problem with this because it reeks of sexism to me, a sexism that says being feminine = being submissive.

Frankly anyone believing that immediately turns me off.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 2/12/2007 4:02:44 PM >

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TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to skirtboy43)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 5:12:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

Since I joined this website on Friday, the thing that most amazes me is how many mistresses don't like sissy subs. Wouldn't a straight man dressing up, or being forced into fem be the very depth of submissiveness? What's a poor lil' skirtboy to do?
Skirtboy

What you need to do is find someone who shares your fetish but who is domminant in nature.

Seems that simple to me.

And not all mistresses are interested in that fetish.

I tried the sissy angle for a bit with a guy who was into it (He was the sissy maid). It wasn't my thing though. For me my mind just doesn't see gender expression as a form of submission.

< Message edited by DigitBox -- 2/12/2007 5:25:11 PM >

(in reply to skirtboy43)

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