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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:33:52 PM

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From: Austin, TX
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I think that this activity--a man dressing in women's clothes--is driven by different motivations and seeing crossdressing driven by one motivation the same as crossdressing driven by another motivation has potential to cause confusion.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to undergroundsea)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:43:34 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsVeruca
Here's my take: I feel it's an insult to women. A man is being asked to dress up as a woman in order to be humilitated and emasculated. That implies that being a woman is somehow a negative thing and lacks power (or even strips one of power).

Indeed one motivation to crossdress is for humiliation. I don't think this response is necessarily based on misogyny. I think more often it is a reflection of how society views or reduces a person who departs from behavior associated with that person's gender.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 2/12/2007 10:44:05 PM >

(in reply to MsVeruca)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/12/2007 10:50:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Highheelfetish20
either you have a mental predisposition to lie or your just self preserving here because your a miserable fucker like 50 percent of us here and you know shit well you dont have anyone thats why your here hanging out with the rest of us!!!!!!!! "I'm lucky, my mistress is lean and muscular. " :lmao:

There are plenty of people who are part of the forums not to necessarily seek a partner, but to participate in the community. There are plenty of people who are actively seeking a partner but are not miserable fuckers.

Based on what his posts convey about him, I have no trouble believing his description of his circumstances is true. Based on your post, I extend similar credence about your description of your circumstances to you.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 2/12/2007 10:57:18 PM >

(in reply to Highheelfetish20)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 1:19:12 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: maidheather

on a side note, isn't it wierd that there no trans switch option on collarme? i mean, there's male sub/switch/dom, and female sub/switch/dom, but when it comes to trans, it's only sub/dom ... strange ...

When I look on my profile I can select transgendered and switch for my personal description.

But in the looking for part of the profile there isn't a section for trans switch. It's always trans dom/sub. Which is definitely an issue, but I suppose if someone puts that they are a switch and they are seeking a trans dom and a trans sub that that kind of covers all the bases. It's a work around at least.

(in reply to maidheather)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 2:05:10 AM

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i never meant to say somone that is transgenderd or even a crossdrsser is doing somthing wrong, i only meant to say, i do not find it sexsy, but then i dont find many male actors that is considerd the top of the scale in apperance to be sexy either, i simply prefer men in men`s clothing and women in women`s clothing, but that is a preferance on apperance nothing more.

The only time i can find a crossdresser sexy is if it is done very well, and not oerdone. No pleese do not take this as an insult, for it is not meant that way, and you look very cute. But the man in a manga maid outfit is not my thing, sexualy, not that is is somthing wrong whit it, it is just me, but a woman that dresses in normal, everyday clothes and evening clothes and it is hard to say if the person is woman or man, that can be attractive. To make a long story short, for me cross dressing is not so mutch a problem, it is the very overdone drag style i do not personly find sttractive.

However what a person personaly find attractive do not define what is attractive. If you take plessure in dressing the way you do, go for it, everyone have the right to express one self the way they wish to. And i think it is nice whit men that dear to be themself like that, i was just discussing what i like pure apperance wise, not what i think is ok, or apropriate. If it make you happy, go for it.

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(in reply to maidheather)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 6:33:47 AM

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CDs, TVs, and TSs know all about women not finding them attractive.

In my experience, this repulsion or rejection is viceral, but it also stems too from the discomfort of gender confusion.

A guy raised as a guy with a drive to TV, CD or TS is somewhat at a loss for what to do and he has ZERO open, societal or family backed roads to follow. He is, at least starting out, 100% on his own, operating in total secrecy and oftentimes shame.

When such a guy takes things further, usually the first thing he does encounter is rejection, awkwardness, and also excitement and sexual stimulation. So, this thing that he cannot integrate into his life is not something he can shed b/c its linked to one of his primary drives.

On the other side, from what I have seen --- Fs don't have a natural or preexisting inclination to cross-gender or cross dress males. Its not like spanking or bondage, an activity that some women feel an internal drive to pursue. Next, woman naturally prefer men as men and want them as men --- in general.

Add it all up, and CDs, TVs, TSs aruably have a disorder, b/c there is not yin to their yang. Pile on top of that such criticisms and views like "you're not being a real man," "sissy," "wimp," etc.... and guys in this position have a real, steep uphill climb.

Women have it much easier. For instance, my Mistress dresses like a man all the time --- if I can even say that --- because male dress --- except for maybe suits and ties (if that) is now unisex. Skirts, blouses, pantyhose, heels, et. al. are not unisex.

I do think it would be interesting to explore this disparity. In the post sexual revolution, emancipation of women phase of today, its ok for women to want to be "like men," but its not so ok for men to want to be like women.

Oddly, much of the problem here comes from the women's side, which I must say is ironic to me.

(in reply to nephandi)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 6:38:42 AM

Mistresscarmen1

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doms DO like sissies. Let's all understand generalizations are only partly true and therefore NOT TRUE .

(in reply to undergroundsea)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 6:43:41 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

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From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
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It's like anything....not ALL people will like or dislike any one thing (except maybe chocolate). Getting that everyone is not into one's kink is a crucial step, as is accepting that graciously.

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Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Mistresscarmen1)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 6:56:08 AM

Mistresscarmen1

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Very good point Ms Marwood "your kink is not my kink but your kink is ok with me" is my rule but of course this is a generalization LOL

(in reply to undergroundsea)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 7:35:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsVeruca

Here's my take: I feel it's an insult to women. A man is being asked to dress up as a woman in order to be humilitated and emasculated. That implies that being a woman is somehow a negative thing and lacks power (or even strips one of power). I feel the opposite is true. Women are centers of immense power. So, when I see someone being "punished" or that they want to feel "less" by assuming a feminine role, I get irritated and annoyed.

EXACTLY how I feel also.
BTW, what exactly DOES 'sissy' mean to you?

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 2/13/2007 7:39:23 AM >

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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 7:43:12 AM

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i dont reject crossdressers, and to have one as a friend, sure thing, not a problem, i dont care what pepole dress like to determine if i want to be frinds whit them.My reply was only what i found to be sexy in bed. i like goth boys, strong masquline men, and Asians best that do not mean i think there is somthing wrong whit crossdresers, it just dont turn me on.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 7:45:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I do think it would be interesting to explore this disparity. In the post sexual revolution, emancipation of women phase of today, its ok for women to want to be "like men," but its not so ok for men to want to be like women.

Correction: No, we don't want to be LIKE men.,. we want to be ALLOWED to be as SUCCESSFUL as men.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 8:25:13 AM

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From: Stourport-England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I do think it would be interesting to explore this disparity. In the post sexual revolution, emancipation of women phase of today, its ok for women to want to be "like men," but its not so ok for men to want to be like women.

Correction: No, we don't want to be LIKE men.,. we want to be ALLOWED to be as SUCCESSFUL as men.

Interesting point.

What is a man like anyway, that he could be emulated?
What is a woman like, that she might be emulated?

Its not about men being like women, or women being like men in the work/social world - its about all of us being able to be ourselves, removed from narrow gender roles; and that applies to men too.

To say "this successful woman is being like a man" is ridiculous from this viewpoint. Just as ridiculous as to say "this man is not successful, ergo he must be like a woman". The modern woman is successful because she is free to be herself fully, not because she tries to be like a man. Whilst she may then at times go about things in ways one might expect from a man, she isnt being a man, she is being a human. Just the same as the man who opts to be a house husband - he's not being like a woman, he is being a fully rounded person, for in the urge to free women from traditional gender roles, he is also freed from them.

Though, I'd concede, not all of society and our culture has caught on to that yet.

E

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RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 9:15:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsVeruca

Here's my take: I feel it's an insult to women. A man is being asked to dress up as a woman in order to be humilitated and emasculated. That implies that being a woman is somehow a negative thing and lacks power (or even strips one of power). I feel the opposite is true. Women are centers of immense power. So, when I see someone being "punished" or that they want to feel "less" by assuming a feminine role, I get irritated and annoyed.

EXACTLY how I feel also.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to MsVeruca)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 9:33:24 AM

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Sissy subs do not do it for me, not to say in the future my tastes will change. But thats personal preference.

Someone mentioned earlier about asking subs for their likes and dislikes, the sub stating that it was the Doms choice not theirs. Again personal preference but I like to know about any future sub's likes and dislikes before I take them on, Mainly so I can treat them at some point with their likes or punish them with their dislikes. (Within our set boundries).

I may be a Bitch but the experience has to be mutually satisfactory otherwise no point going there.

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 10:33:57 AM

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From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DigitBox

quote:

ORIGINAL: maidheather

on a side note, isn't it wierd that there no trans switch option on collarme? i mean, there's male sub/switch/dom, and female sub/switch/dom, but when it comes to trans, it's only sub/dom ... strange ...

When I look on my profile I can select transgendered and switch for my personal description.

But in the looking for part of the profile there isn't a section for trans switch. It's always trans dom/sub. Which is definitely an issue, but I suppose if someone puts that they are a switch and they are seeking a trans dom and a trans sub that that kind of covers all the bases. It's a work around at least.

Yay! Thanks, i've finally updated to being a "Lesbian Trans Switch", however you want to try to wrap your head around that one =^_^=

(in reply to DigitBox)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 12:40:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Correction: No, we don't want to be LIKE men.,. we want to be ALLOWED to be as SUCCESSFUL as men.

Arguably, a woman dressed in jeans and a tee shirt after lifting weights is "being like a man." But, basically "being like a man" in todays world is neutered of any meaning because of our unisex culture where women are concerned. What male activities and dress either exclude, humiliate, or "cockify" women?

Women, on the other hand, have carefully demarcated fashion territory in terms of what's strictly theirs. And, I think its safe to say certain behaviors and expressions are tied to those fashions as well. Men aren't allowed there, period.

One other thing about the unisex world, its certainly clouded and made more complicated any definition of femininity. Want to get people upset, just say something like, "a real feminine woman wears high heels." That's a loaded phrase, whereas "real, masculine men where pants" or "real men lift weights" don't strike any discord at all. (Men don't necessarily worry so much about how they are characterized.)

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 1:23:21 PM

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quote:

Women, on the other hand, have carefully demarcated fashion territory in terms of what's strictly theirs. And, I think its safe to say certain behaviors and expressions are tied to those fashions as well. Men aren't allowed there, period.

Wow, we women sure do have a lot of power. [sarcasm]I guess it is a good point that we have dictated fashion trends and men have strictly abided by our orders.[/sarcasm] Maybe men...society and all who make that up may have played a bit part in all that too? Regardless, women should wear whatever they damn well please. When we look for a partner (or partners) we should attempt to find those who are compatible with us and accept us for who we are, inside and out. Men should do the same. Want to dress in traditionally feminine clothing? Knock yourself out, nobody's stopping you. Want to find someone to accept you for that? Find someone who does. Nobody ever said it would be easy but it's not impossible.

Want to affect change? Best way is to actually do something. Fashion trends and sexuality acceptance in all its varied forms has grown only because of those who are willing to cross those demarcation lines, real or imaginary.

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(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 2:03:16 PM

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Hi Girls and Boys, and Girls who don't like Boys who dress like Girls, and Girls who do like Boys who dress like Girls,
You are all wonderful, and I say this as a femdom's little bitch (mmmm thank you Mistress) who hopes that all the girls reading this aren't offended by the little panty, swishy skirt wearing, little girly man.
I love you all!
Skirt Boy (but you can call me your little bitch if you want)

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(in reply to MsKatHouston)

RE: Why don't doms like sissies? - 2/13/2007 2:19:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

Since I joined this website on Friday, the thing that most amazes me is how many mistresses don't like sissy subs. Wouldn't a straight man dressing up, or being forced into fem be the very depth of submissiveness? What's a poor lil' skirtboy to do?
Skirtboy

I enjoy forced feminization when it's really forced - that is, the guy had no idea and had never considered the idea of being in a pair of tight pink panties until it happened, then he's totally humiliated but turned on at the same time. Or some variation of that. Otherwise, I can find amusement and enjoyment out of the pushing of existing hot buttons, but not when I'm expected to do it or it's the entire theme of the relationship.

That said, I think it's interesting that of all the fetishes, forced feminization is the only one (I can think of) where the subs who are into it seem to presume that femdoms should like it, or complain more aren't into it, or get sassy/bitchy when femdoms say "thanks but no thanks." You don't see diaper fetishtists, or latex fetishists complaining "I don't understand why more femdoms don't love diaper play! It makes no sense!" and getting offended when told "I'm sorry, I don't really have any erotic or otherwise interest in doing that act with you."

Sissies can get very uppity and sometimes downright rude (is it their inner PMS-ing bitch coming out?) about their kink and that's a big turn off. Of all the fetishists I have met, they are the one group that can get downright nasty when told no thank you. Or, try to talk me into it. I am REALLY into bending a man's will, but I'm sorry, I don't feel like I'm bending a will if I am forcing a man to wear panties yet he wears them every day on his own.

Akasha

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(in reply to skirtboy43)

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