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RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 7:03:52 AM

Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline

A lot of the advice I read is great, thank you because I too have difficulties at times with the pain...

Lots of lube is a tremendous help, I am not a fan of the decensitizing stuff anymore, was great the first few times I did this. But, to me, it gets everywhere and decensitizes everything in it's path... lol... but, I will say, I don't know what I would've done without it at first.

Being relaxed: A cocktail or two helps me, not drunk, just a little to relax me. Also, well, not to get too personal, using an enema (for my peace of mind which, in turn, relaxes me) and if I can follow that up by a nice bath with a cocktail...

Getting through the initial pain, either by the "warm up" or just dealing with the initial shock... once I get over that, I'm okay... well, more than okay, if you know what I mean.

I had someone tell me once that the best position for the first time especially, is the "spoon" position... and I agree personally. Lying on your side your back facing him, and, well, you get the picture.

Good luck to you.

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(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 8:20:19 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Well, I've been here longer (not that that means much other then I've seen more of her posts) and can't remember anything she's said that was actually bad advice. How you got that her master is full of something from that post is beyond me and why you chose to post that is even further beyond me.

Simple, julia is posting that anal penetration with her master used to be painful for her but it is getting better. Would'nt you say that implies sexual intercourse in some form?

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Some positions for anal are still painful for me. It really is a matter of becoming accustomed. I have come a long way since we first began in May, and I had very little anal experience before Sinergy.

Yet her master posts he has intercourse only twice since April.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

Lets see, I have had intercourse with a partner twice since April of last year.

There fore one of them is a liar.

Come to think of it how many masters who live in visiting distance to their slave have only gotten laid twice in almost a year? Or do i have the relationship backwards somehow?

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 8:29:28 AM

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for all the suggestions! I'm personally not too hot to try desensitizing substances, as we already sometimes have some difficulties with my stamina, but I think there might be some promise in some of the different positions, as we've only tried two. We'll most certainly try some of these tips and let y'all know how it goes (because I'm sure you're all hungry for some juicy gossip... bloody vultures

).

(in reply to jane4you)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 8:31:06 AM

Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
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if u havin trouble best thing is plenty of lube and u just sit down on his dick like u sittin in his lap but do it slo at ur own pace and just gentle let him settle into ur channel. u gonna love it and u won't wanna be used any other way once u get used to it and he gonna love tha tightness and remember u gotta squeeze hiz dick once its in. ur azz has alot of muscle control that's the beauty of it. an azz can take alot once it trust u. i fist subs all the time up the azz its just rhythm and patience

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 8:38:35 AM

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

ok - the things i learned about anal. actually Masters previous [gay] roommate is to thank for this advice he gave Mine for *the first time*

while doggie style is the only one i would recommend until you're used to it, you should also be leaning over something - result is your body is less stiff. i also found that when He is having trouble entering, i play with myself and this immediately makes me less tense *down there*

other than that - lube lube lube

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RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 8:44:44 AM

Posts: 230
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline

the only thing that made my first time a success was laying over something on my stomach and Daddy talking to me and rubbing my back, you have to relax, i cant stress that enough...you must relax. find that place in your head where everything is hunky dorey and try not to fight it.

blue

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RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 8:54:35 AM

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

All good advice here, my main question/advice is it seems that you have done all the proper steps and are sincere in wanting this, so is it a case of you just not being able to relax enough when it comes time and if so to search out why you are not relax enough. I am not a big fan of doing anything to numb your sensation whether directly or indirectly but maybe a drink but not too much. Maybe discuss with your partner what would be the right way, position and atmosphere that would relax you the most. Do it on your terms the first time or two until you are comfortable.

< Message edited by toservez -- 2/16/2007 8:55:31 AM >

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RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 9:01:38 AM

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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well Master likes this i was not too big a fan of it until we tried the spoon position that is leaa painful. What i found works when he enteres he pushes until i tell him it hurts then he stops and i push back onto him at my pace thast seems to help th emuscle open too. Just an idea good luck.

Matt's littleone

BTW: Anal ease works wonders

(in reply to toservez)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 9:18:24 AM

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
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Try doggy while standing and leaning your upper body on a couch or table legs spread wide.
Plenty of lube too!

(in reply to littleone35)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 9:27:38 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
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Cant you just apply lots of lube, lay down on your stomach and he gets it in? Minus the lube, thats what Master does.... he just pushes until it goes in, i squirm around alot in pain and then plop! Then i get on the same road Jewel gets on...

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RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 9:37:14 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

The first few strokes always hurt for me, no matter how much lube is involved. If I can just hold on during those, it becomes more pleasure filled afterward. We don't use any lube but my natural lube, and it seems to work well for us. If I play with myself also, it eases the pain a bit more, I think it just takes my mind off of it. I think you will have times that it still hurts no matter what you do though. Master decided to do it the other night, put it in and it hurt with every stroke...though I can't figure out why.

I am new to this also, never liked it before him...and actually found that condoms and lubes made it hurt a lot worse for me. Just don't think so much about it, and let it happen..relax, and don't put so much pressure on yourself. He seems very patient about it, so you should be also.

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Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
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(in reply to Devilslilsister)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 9:46:13 AM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jane4you

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Well, I've been here longer (not that that means much other then I've seen more of her posts) and can't remember anything she's said that was actually bad advice. How you got that her master is full of something from that post is beyond me and why you chose to post that is even further beyond me.

Simple, julia is posting that anal penetration with her master used to be painful for her but it is getting better. Would'nt you say that implies sexual intercourse in some form?

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Some positions for anal are still painful for me. It really is a matter of becoming accustomed. I have come a long way since we first began in May, and I had very little anal experience before Sinergy.

Yet her master posts he has intercourse only twice since April.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

Lets see, I have had intercourse with a partner twice since April of last year.

There fore one of them is a liar.

Come to think of it how many masters who live in visiting distance to their slave have only gotten laid twice in almost a year? Or do i have the relationship backwards somehow?

You know... just because someone hasn't a lot of sex doesn't mean they can't offer valid advice on the subject. Another point - not all relationships are based on sex. Some BDSM relationships are based on chasity. Better question: Why do you care so much to track down these posts?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to jane4you)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 10:19:29 AM

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jane4you

Come to think of it how many masters who live in visiting distance to their slave have only gotten laid twice in almost a year? Or do i have the relationship backwards somehow?

i wonder the date on Sinergy's post, jane. It would depend on that, no?

DG

(in reply to jane4you)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 12:30:22 PM

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Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: jane4you

Come to think of it how many masters who live in visiting distance to their slave have only gotten laid twice in almost a year? Or do i have the relationship backwards somehow?

i wonder the date on Sinergy's post, jane. It would depend on that, no?

DG

Yeah- gotta watch those blast-from-the-past threads that pop-up now and again...

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RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 1:12:31 PM

Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I cant write for shit but I will give this one a try.

Basically I have found as a dom that when it comes to getting a sub use to anal then the worse thing you can do is bring it into a scene. Basically I first try to create an association where the woman associates her ass with sexual pleasure and in order to do that you cant really make any
kind of painful mistakes and things have to slow donw a lot.
Usually I start by using massage by having my sub lie down accross my lap as though she was going to get a spanking. I usually do this on the sofa mixed with watching TV or something that can be used as a distraction. I massage her lower back, upper thies and bottom using nuetragena sesame oil. I go slow and take my time the message is very relaxing and gentle. I include both vaginal and anal openings without any penetration to create a generalised erotic feeling as apposed to a horny feeling so to speak. These messages can take a long time hence the TV..LOL. I then get so that I can insert a finger usually just a little ways and then stretch out the opening more and more until I can finger her with two fingers. This takes a while ... I mean like an hour or so for a woman that I am just teaching. This is done casually about three times a week with no expectations or any kind of seriouse communications about it. I actually dont confront her feeling about it at all as they really are not that important.
I allways use my fingers and never a prop of any kind. This is because fingers are warm and generally soft and I can tell exacly what is going on as I gently stretch her out. The point of it is to get the woman use to the sensation of being touched, stretched and movement going on inside her body. I think this builds a level of trust in what is going on however in the early stages of this its not mixed with any attempts at penetration. I of course use gentle words of encouragment of how nice her ass looks and how tight it is and how swollen her pussy gets. Its allso very important that while fingering that its not a constant penetration in other words I might work on stretching for about a minute or so and then go to rubbing the lips of her pussy then back off and massage the small of her back, thies and ass cheaks for another two or three minutes then go back to fingering. If I feel that the woman is getting really excited then I will manually give her an orgasm my making small circles around her vaginal opening spreading the juices and oils between her inner labia and up to her clit and back to the opening again until she has an orgasm however, I do not penetrate the woman vaginally or clitoraly durring or just before her orgasm. I want it to be an "empty" orgasm.

After her orgasm I generally go back to massage again involving no penetration of any kind but just around the opening. I dont let the orgasm stop the play but just tone it down for about ten minutes and then go back to anal fingering and stretching. All of this goes on for two or three weeks prior to an attempt at really going at it and it seems to work really well at creating a comfort level for the woman. Also durring daily life like if she is cooking at the stove or something like that of course there has to be a smack on the ass or something.... in otherwords there is constantly every day some kind of suttle reminder of how I want her ass but like I said before I dont talk about with the woman because that only leads to trouble. Its better to guide the sub into what you want rather than philosiphy about somthing that she has never really experienced.

For first time penetration (again not as a scene) I do the massage thing like allways only this time I turn of the TV and ask for a blow job usually with a little riding crop to go with it while she is working me but I dont allow her to make me cum. I then interupt it by telling her to get onto the floor and lay on her back (remember the massage came first so shes stretched out a little) I then puch her knees up twords her chest and enter in a missionary position. I put plenty of oil on myself and usually when I am paused at the entrance I tell her to gently push. I only put about the head in and then I pull out and then re-enter her about two or three times to get her use to the idea of what is going to happen and feel the sensation of my head just opening her up. Then after this I do one gentle slide that goes about a third of the way in and stop for a moment so she can feel it watching her facial expressions and encourage her to relax (she learned how to relax from the massages) then I pull all the way out put more oil on myself and then penetrate fully in one slow glide.

I have been having anal sex with woman since I was a teen and way before I was involved with BDSM and virtually every woman I had ever met had told me that they had tried once or twice and didnt really care for it and well they all loved it by the end of about four months of this they all asked me for it instead of me just wanting it....LOL After about a year they usually can take it like a porn star without any problems. I also make sure that there is penetration at least once a month. The sub I have now takes it in the ass at the very least once a month when she comes off her period and she has come to expect and look forward to it.... she simply knows that her periods done its time to take it. The period has nothing really to do with it I just use it as a timing reference...LOL. I have found that you if you go two or three months without having anal sex then it goes back to her not being able to take it as well. Also I never use K-Y that shits skanky and burns up to quick. The sesame oil works the best so far. The sub I have now also pleads for it on occasion durring scenes which is really great considering not long ago it was something very difficult for her.
Anywho .... Its worked great for me on several woman.

(in reply to topcat)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 3:06:18 PM

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jane4you

I really have not been here long but i read the forum alot. I cannot help but wonder how good your advice is or how truthful your posts are because it appears either you or your master is full of something.

Jane

....oh, come now, do you really want to shatter someone's carefully crafted delusion, after they've worked night and day to create it? What harm does it do to pretend to know it all?

...oh, that's right, some newbie might take you seriously and actually do what you suggest.

How exactly does one roll his eyes here, without getting caught?

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(in reply to jane4you)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 5:08:49 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jane4you

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Well, I've been here longer (not that that means much other then I've seen more of her posts) and can't remember anything she's said that was actually bad advice. How you got that her master is full of something from that post is beyond me and why you chose to post that is even further beyond me.

Simple, julia is posting that anal penetration with her master used to be painful for her but it is getting better. Would'nt you say that implies sexual intercourse in some form?

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Some positions for anal are still painful for me. It really is a matter of becoming accustomed. I have come a long way since we first began in May, and I had very little anal experience before Sinergy.

Yet her master posts he has intercourse only twice since April.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

Lets see, I have had intercourse with a partner twice since April of last year.

There fore one of them is a liar.

Come to think of it how many masters who live in visiting distance to their slave have only gotten laid twice in almost a year? Or do i have the relationship backwards somehow?

I looked for that post, could not find it. I know how much and how long I have been seeing my Daddy, how much anal we have had, and the problems my anatomy has accepting Mr Tiny, and I could care less what anyone else thinks on the internet

But seeing his name is not on my profile, and seeing the date on your profile is rather new, I am thinking that you are an ugly regular under a new name.. thanks for playing

Now feel free to post a link to the original quote so I can see the date and read it in context.... or people can search for the post like I did to see if they can find it.If no one else can find it, makes me think that it never existed perhaps?

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(in reply to jane4you)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 5:12:12 PM

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

Ponyseeker - I really enjoyed that description. THAT is the way I think it should be done as well. I think a lot of people are too quick to rush into the "I'm going to use your ass" mentality without first conditioning the ass to be the sexual organ that it is. I for one would enjoy your methods immensely.

To Aqua - My one suggestion that hasn't been said yet it to get a dildo that is similarly sized to your master's penis and use it yourself and have him use it on you, by hand. The reason I recommend this is that you and he will be able to get you used to the anal stimulation without worrying about all the logistics like positions. I also find that vaginal stimulation will increase your ability to enjoy the anal. Goodluck. I truly believe that when it comes to anal, if it hurts you're doing it wrong. That is at least until you are advanced enough to want it to hurt on purpose.

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RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 5:12:23 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Now feel free to post a link to the original quote so I can see the date and read it in context.... or people can search for the post like I did to see if they can find it.If no one else can find it, makes me think that it never existed perhaps?

Oooo.... a mystery!

Everybody sing - "Come on Scooby Doo, where are you..."

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Issues of the Behind - 2/16/2007 5:15:29 PM

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

... we got some work to do now...

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(in reply to AquaticSub)

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