RE: OMG You did what?!?!?!

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 12:00:56 PM

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I would be surprised and it might give me pause both because of this new information and because of a little bit of broken trust. Still, this is the person to whom I have submitted or surrendered and so I suppose I care about this person a great deal and so, ultimately, it would mean little.

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You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 12:01:03 PM

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It wouldn't change a lot for me. Loraith, to me, is a helluva lot more than the sum of His orientation. I don't just see Him as a Dominant. I see Him as a Husband, a father, a brother, a son, an employee, a boss, a friend...and countless other things. Rolled all together, He becomes my Master.

I'd probably ask what His experiences were like, what He learned from it (if anything), etc. Y'know, that good ole discussion thang. But overall, I fell in love with Him, not parts of Him.

As for the switching part, I think littleone8620 came closest to how I'd feel about it.

We're comfortable with each other and our relationship, and I've always felt we can talk about anything without fear of reprisal. If we didn't have that, I'd probably be more worried about what He hadn't told me.

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~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 12:02:20 PM

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It wouldn't bother me at all. I wouldn't want to Dom them, but the fact that they'd done so can be a good thing in a way. It can give the Dom/me experience in how a slave/sub thinks and acts, making it easier to know how to TREAT a slave/sub.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 12:13:16 PM

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Context would mean a lot to me. If he had wanted to experience sensations and it was more of a bottoming situation I would probably be okay with it. If I learned that I was with a man who proclaimed to be a Dom but was in a prior relationship as a sub (as in a D/s relationship), that would be hard to take. I would fear that I would not be able to nor interested in meeting his submissive needs.

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 12:16:10 PM

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I don't think it would alter my view of him. I would be more upset he didn't tell me before. It would be like he was hiding something. The fact that he was a sub at one time wouldn't change my perception of him now.

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 12:21:24 PM

LVpet

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After a year my Master did tell me that He was a switch and had found someone who brought out His submissive side. Being that I am extremely new to this lifestyle and everything it entails, that revelation had me reeling. I could not seem to wrap my brain around it.
I knew that He had submitted in the past. He told me of at least one instance where it was done at the request and out of deep respect for the Dominant. I did not feel this “took away” from His ability to dominate me. But I was also deeply worried about how this new connection would affect me. Very selfish of me but also very honest.
After several journal entries, and a LOT of talking to Him, I still felt that knot of fear in the pit of my stomach but I also had a better understanding of what was going on.
As His slave, I want Him to be happy. I want him to be able to completely be Himself with me. I have come to realize that each connection He has completes and feeds a part of Him. They are all a part of the puzzle that makes Him who He is as a person, a man, a friend and a Master.
Sorry for such a long reply! <grins>

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 1:14:04 PM

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And may I add that if my Master were to tell me that He was, at one time, a sub, I would keel over from shock and surprise. ~laughing outright~ He isn't possessed of the most submissive personality in the world.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to LVpet)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 1:16:36 PM

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I find this thread very interesting.

What if you were in a marriage and suddenly found out your spouse who you thought was straight had relationships with same-sex partners back in college? Or if they suddenly admitted ocasionally being turned on by really atractive people/pictures/porn of the same sex. Would it matter? Why? Same reasons as the Dom/switch or different?

Also, it's my understanding that within the Old Gaurd community (to which we owe much) it was required for everyone to start out on the bottom. Only after years of servive/subbing/bottoming was one "allowed" to top or to be called a master. If that's true, does it affect your outlook?

Leto

(in reply to LVpet)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 1:21:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Okay, based upon another thread in another zone. I am asking a question.

To all the submissives and slaves (why did I just hear a Julio Iglesias song in my head....to all the girls I've loved befoooooorrrrrrre.....)anyway back to the topic at hand.

What would you do/think/say IF you found out that your dominant/master/mistress had neglected to inform you that they had been submissive/slave in the past? Would it matter if it was more of a scene/bottoming thing versus a relationship? Why? Or, would you view it as a learning experience?

AND to add an extra kink in the chain.....what if you found out they still had switch tendencies and had not told you about it?

If I found out Valyraen had submitted in the past...

Is he my dominant? Yes. Does he dominate me? Yes. Does he love me? Yes. Are we starting to make long-range plans together? Yes.

Ok, so what's the problem?

I don't love people for particular trait. I love them. As long as he continues to act as my dominant and not expect me to act as a submissive, I couldn't care less about if somone else used to dominate him.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 1:39:58 PM

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That info doesn't come as a surprise to me - b/c during the getting to know stages buidling a friendship that topic usualy comes up and is discussed.
I think it's awesome if a Dom was at one time sub or started that way. I love to hear of their experiences.Does not bother me a single bit

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A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 1:54:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez
This would include a switch who grows tired of being dominate, someone confused which role they want or if they need at all and someone just playing the roles like an actor.

Uh, is this what you think all switches are about?

The majority of switches I know actually do NOT switch within ONE relationship- they simply form multiple relationships, some as the dominant, some as the submissive. I know a slave who is property to her master- that is universal and unchanging. But she also dominates other in relationships.

I understand if someone being a switch or previously submissive squicks you out and is one of your weird buttons (we all have them), but don't suggest that all switches are just tired, confused or playing a role.

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 2:01:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez
This would include a switch who grows tired of being dominate, someone confused which role they want or if they need at all and someone just playing the roles like an actor.

Uh, is this what you think all switches are about?

The majority of switches I know actually do NOT switch within ONE relationship- they simply form multiple relationships, some as the dominant, some as the submissive. I know a slave who is property to her master- that is universal and unchanging. But she also dominates other in relationships.

I understand if someone being a switch or previously submissive squicks you out and is one of your weird buttons (we all have them), but don't suggest that all switches are just tired, confused or playing a role.

You missed my point which could be very well because it was poorly written.

My point was if I was in a relationship with a switch who had not told me they were and then it was to come out that they were needing to explore their submissive side.

The people confused and actor comments were not meant about switches but people who were proclaiming to be dominant and turned out they were not.

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I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 2:02:33 PM

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Thank you LA for that. In my limited experience I have only known one switch really well and that is exactly how she is.

I seem to remember that there was a thread awhile back that asked if a person would enter a relationship with a switch. I honestly could see no reason why not. As long as our relationship would be clearly defined it doesn't matter.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 2:08:56 PM

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If I found out a man had submissive tendencies, it would be a huge turn off for me (I ended a relationship over something similiar). No offense to the male sub/Fem domme people out there (to each their own) but I find something really "squick-ish" about men subbing to women and it would sort of freak me out.

I dated a guy for two years (it wasn''t exactly a vanilla relationship but we weren't full time dom/sub either). For the first year and a half, he was always the dominant sex partner (the one tying me up and spanking me etc). Suddenly he tells me he's bi and he wants me to tie him up and do him with a strap-on and stuff...I tried it about 3 times and I was done. It sort of turned my stomach honestly. The relationship ended shortly after for a variety of reasons.

I just have a hard time feeling attracted to a man who is anything less than 100% dominant.

< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 2/26/2007 2:12:45 PM >

(in reply to FukinTroll)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 2:15:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Okay, based upon another thread in another zone. I am asking a question.

To all the submissives and slaves (why did I just hear a Julio Iglesias song in my head....to all the girls I've loved befoooooorrrrrrre.....)anyway back to the topic at hand.

What would you do/think/say IF you found out that your dominant/master/mistress had neglected to inform you that they had been submissive/slave in the past? Would it matter if it was more of a scene/bottoming thing versus a relationship? Why? Or, would you view it as a learning experience?

AND to add an extra kink in the chain.....what if you found out they still had switch tendencies and had not told you about it?

Disturbed. I've been with my owner for about nine years now, so for that to never ever come up before then would be a serious issue. Depending on the why's we would certainly be able to work through it though. For instance if he did it as a learning experience and it sucked for him (why would someone who isn't a switch enjoy submitting and then dominating someone else?) then we could prolly work through it.

Now if he were a switch there would probably have to be a re-evaluation of the relationship mainly because everything I knew him as for years and everything we ever talked about around beliefs and theories of dominance and submission would probably have all been a scam, lie, or whatever. Not to mention I've never wanted to be owned by a switch (just my personal preferneces).

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 2/26/2007 2:16:29 PM >

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 2:19:49 PM

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Using fast reply as an additional note. From what I understand while it was strongly encouraged to start out as a bottom a several decades ago in ye old guarde times it wasn't a set in stone requirement, and in fact there are people that mentored or apprenticed under another more experienced dominant without bottoming.

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 2/26/2007 2:20:29 PM >

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 2:20:04 PM

ToServeIsToLive

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Does this remind anyone else of the honesty about sexual orietation monster thread?

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 2:22:20 PM

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STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD!

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RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 2:23:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ToServeIsToLive

Does this remind anyone else of the honesty about sexual orietation monster thread?

Not really. No one is accusing anyone of lying.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ToServeIsToLive)

RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! - 2/26/2007 2:24:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ToServeIsToLive

Does this remind anyone else of the honesty about sexual orietation monster thread?

No. There's no BBQ!

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CM's Resident Fuzzy Kitteh

There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

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