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Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:04:11 PM   
patina


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I thought this would be the best place to ask this question since the majority of sub/slaves are of the female gender.  Let me first state that I have already told this Dom good bye.  For future reference and just to help me know i made the right judgement in this area i am asking for opinions.  I always get told you already have your answer why are you asking us.  Because i am so unsure of mysel, OK i have admitted it, in certain areas i have no confidence, in others i have plenty.

OK enough of that the question is Does a Dom have the right to decide if you are to wear a  bra or not on a first meet.  He told me no underwear at all no panties no bra well i wore them, I am very amply endowed my cup size is above the letter D about 3 times,  oh hell i am a 46G  you don't go braless in public that size. 

This Dom hit the ceiling when he found out i had disobeyed him i told him he was not my Master yet i did not have to do as he ordered and i am to big to go braless in public.  We argued for a bit it ended with him stating the point is you were to show you could follow orders.  I said well i felt i had good reason not to.  He looked at me and said humm this is not good.   I just shrugged and looked away. 

Now as stated before does a Dom have the right to tell you to not wear a bra on a first meeting then say its to see if you can follow orders.  And yes I had tried to explain before about how big i was had sent some suggestive pic not naked ones but where he could judge the size.  He said he would decide when he saw me as to whether or not i was too big well excuse me its too late then.

I have had a lot of Dom's tell me they want me to go braless in public why can't they realize its just not possible for use huge gals.  If i could get a reduction i would but no medical insurance.
     
patina

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:10:07 PM   
zindyslave


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Well, to me that was wrong I agree with you he isn't your Master and to tell you that to see if you could follow orders couldn't he find something less embarrasing to ask you to do to see if you follow orders?

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:16:39 PM   
nissa


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Joined: 2/28/2007
From: Carson City Nevada
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patina
 
this is a difficult one to answer, and I am sure that there will be a huge diversity offered to you. I can only say that in your case, from what you have said here, I would have to agree with what you did. Not because it comes down to whether or not 'he needed to learn whether or not you could follow orders' but because for women of that breast size, not having some kind of support can at times be painful.
 
Now, if I was to place myself in your own shoes though; and it was a person who I had spent some time getting to know; and if I had gone out of my way to let him know how uncomfortable it would be without support; and he still asked that I not wear one; well, for myself, I would not wear one. But that is just me.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:20:25 PM   
mnottertail


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I am not going to say this was the exact case and if your offer of mitigating circumstances was dismissed out of hand, that is another kettle of fish....

However; women have many choices  (agreed, many not off the shelf in terms of foundation enhancements) commonplace in fact, and you will find that some women will not under any circumstance (and they don't care who dies) go out of the door without makeup.  Well, it is like an armour they can hide behind oftimes, and I can feature telling you that you must dispose of your armour, shake hands and come out fighting bare knuckle as it were.  This puts you in somewhat of a vulnerable position, which (to my mind) is not bad------------

So, that might be a flipside, all else being globular.

Ron


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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:26:43 PM   
MistressDiane


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quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

I thought this would be the best place to ask this question since the majority of sub/slaves are of the female gender.  Let me first state that I have already told this Dom good bye.  For future reference and just to help me know i made the right judgement in this area i am asking for opinions.  I always get told you already have your answer why are you asking us.  Because i am so unsure of mysel, OK i have admitted it, in certain areas i have no confidence, in others i have plenty.

OK enough of that the question is Does a Dom have the right to decide if you are to wear a  bra or not on a first meet.  He told me no underwear at all no panties no bra well i wore them, I am very amply endowed my cup size is above the letter D about 3 times,  oh hell i am a 46G  you don't go braless in public that size. 

This Dom hit the ceiling when he found out i had disobeyed him i told him he was not my Master yet i did not have to do as he ordered and i am to big to go braless in public.  We argued for a bit it ended with him stating the point is you were to show you could follow orders.  I said well i felt i had good reason not to.  He looked at me and said humm this is not good.   I just shrugged and looked away. 

Now as stated before does a Dom have the right to tell you to not wear a bra on a first meeting then say its to see if you can follow orders.  And yes I had tried to explain before about how big i was had sent some suggestive pic not naked ones but where he could judge the size.  He said he would decide when he saw me as to whether or not i was too big well excuse me its too late then.

I have had a lot of Dom's tell me they want me to go braless in public why can't they realize its just not possible for use huge gals.  If i could get a reduction i would but no medical insurance.
    
patina


I have to wonder from your post how clear *you* made it to him that you would not go braless.  Did you flat out tell him you wouldn't, which in that case you both could have saved yourselves some time and decided the meet wasn't a good idea or did you just hint and beat around the bush leaving him with the impression that you may just show up braless?

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:26:57 PM   
DreamyLadySnow


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mnottertail
You obviously don't have G size breasts or you would not dare compare going without a bra to going without makeup.

The question I would ask zindy, is if he cares that little or listens that little at the beginning, how would he be later? Better? Probably not.


LS

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:30:53 PM   
bayboundse


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Until you give your submission to a Dom or Master then they should not be able to command you and if you explain something of this nature to them they should deal with it.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:36:05 PM   
windchymes


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For a first meeting?  No way, I'm with you, patina.  Another poor excuse for a man calling himself a "Dom" so he can meet a woman for lunch and tell her not to wear underwear.  How juvenile is that?  He could have told you to wear a black dress, or high heels, or to be exactly on time, or to write a poem for him and stand up and read it after lunch, or any number of other things to do to see "if you could follow orders".   But simply don't wear underwear?  Puh-lease.

Stick to your guns, girl, there are better ones out there.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:37:03 PM   
zindyslave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DreamyLadySnow

mnottertail
You obviously don't have G size breasts or you would not dare compare going without a bra to going without makeup.

The question I would ask zindy, is if he cares that little or listens that little at the beginning, how would he be later? Better? Probably not.


LS


I don't know If I comprehend exactly what you are asking. What I was saying is that he shouldn't have asked her or told her to do something like that, that is embarrasing to her to see if she followed orders. I beleive there are lots of things he could have asked her or told her to do to see the same thing.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:41:06 PM   
SweetSarijane


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Until you give him the right, he has no control of you or your actions. The whole seeing if you could follow orders with the braless thing was just bs. It was a first meet and you are under no obligation to obey anyone unless you choose too.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:41:45 PM   
sleazybutterfly


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I have had Doms before that I met for the first time and I didn't wear a bra, or panties upon their request.  I felt in a submissive role with them though, or I wouldn't have ever done it.  It actually turned me on a lot going to where he worked, in a short skirt, no bra, and no panties.  I think to each their own though, if you didn't feel comfortable doing it because of your size, he could have picked something else that would have given him the answer he was looking for.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:45:58 PM   
hisannabelle


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i'm a 38ddd, so i can sympathize with having big breasts. as far as my own relationship, if He ordered me to go braless, i would. that said, He probably wouldn't because a) He doesn't like to draw public attention and b) it's not comfortable WITH a bra, but it's a hell of a lot more painful without (particularly because i still have nipple piercings healing).

that said, if i were just meeting someone for the first time and we had no relationship history and i was not collared to them, they would most probably not have the full obedience from me that He does.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:46:32 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


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you did the right thing. 

this guy wasn't worth your submission to order you to go braless for the first meeting. imo, he sounded like a sick perv looking to cop a free feel. i'm a 50DD here and cannot dare myself to go braless in public however i've met guys who asked if i would so they could experience touching breasts in my size.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:53:54 PM   
Llyren


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I suspect those who are posting doubts about the matter don't actually have great big... tracts of land...  Because, unless your middle name is Hillary*,  there is this nifty thing called gravity.  Which means that without support, your impressive cleavage is hanging loose and not cleaving.  Not to mention very conspicuous and rather uncomfortable.  

I think part of the problem might be that often times men think that when you say you're really big, or as I refer to it, "fat", that you're just being silly and girly over an extra five pounds.  They don't understand the reality of the matter, and don't really listen.  

I think you did the right thing.   He had no business issuing an order that would bring you that sort of public attention so early in the relationship. 

*If you want that comment explained, send me a note.  If you already know, send me a note too!



< Message edited by Llyren -- 3/13/2007 5:00:40 PM >


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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 4:58:56 PM   
RWAble


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Just amazes me how some Dominant individuals feel thay can tell a submissive how to act; before actually owning us. Go fiqure.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 5:10:11 PM   
SweetSarijane


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RWAble

Just amazes me how some Dominant individuals feel thay can tell a submissive how to act; before actually owning us. Go fiqure.


BINGO! Well said.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 5:19:49 PM   
goodpet


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I'm with the ones saying he had no right to demand that of you. But i would not have bother meeting someone who told me that. They can ask and i have had quite a few who have asked certain things. i either agree or say i can not or will not. It is then in their ballpark to either accept my decision or if they can not, i have found out all i need to know about them right there.

I don't obey someone i don't respect and have given them some level of submission. and even then it is limited until i am owned.

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 5:22:00 PM   
MistressDiane


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RWAble

Just amazes me how some Dominant individuals feel thay can tell a submissive how to act; before actually owning us. Go fiqure.


Obviously they talked about it beforehand...I am still wondering if she made herself clear to him.
If she said  "no, I'm sorry but I will not go braless on this our first meet " and then he got mad then, yeah, he's probably just an asshole and she was right to hold her ground but if she never really made it clear then maybe he was half expecting her to show up without one. It may just be a case of different expectations and poor communication and the wrong fit.

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"..and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music." ~Monet

*Suffer BayBeee!!!!!*

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 5:22:31 PM   
subsa


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it sounds to me like there was a lack of communication on both sides.  as you were talking/e-mailing this could have been discussed completely and worked out before the meeting.  all you had to do was say it was a hard limit.  all He had to do was say it was something essential in his sub.  at that point either the two of you could negotiate and compromise or just agreed that further exploration of a relationship was futile.  i do understand this was a hard limit for you and you should never push past a hard limit unless you want to.  but looking from His perspective, you disobeyed his first order to you.  obviously He didn't understand it was a hard limit.  this to me shows a lack of 'co'mmunication.  one or both of you only municated if you see what i mean. 

consider everything else that went into the relationship prior to the meeting?  was what you felt worth a compromise?  if not, no worries...move on and learn from this experience.  if there was true potential to the relationship perhaps an e-mail suggesting further discussion is in order.  perhaps He's regretting the whole thing.  learning to communicate your hard limits upfront is not easy, it's scary to expose yourself that way.  but it is essential for a sub who is seriously searching.  conversly, the Dominant must communicate the difference between areas He/She is will to train to get desired results and those things that the sub must bring intact to the dynamic.   

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RE: Doms requiring us to be braless - 3/13/2007 5:26:10 PM   
slaveish


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You always have a choice, you made your decision and it was the right one for you or you would have gone for Door Number One. There is tact and taste and then there is downright nasty, and both are ~great~, but it seems he could have done something less personal to see how well you followed orders.

That being said, I'm not the Dom. Some Doms are more hardcore than others. If you weren't comfortable doing this task for him then I say no harm done in giving him the piss off.

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