RE: do married guys have much luck here?

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RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/15/2007 11:42:52 PM

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
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Well yeah, the guy was asking a simple Q. Maybe he needs to brush up on his research skills, or change the way his profile is worded, but with 50 pages of ProDommes on this site alone, I can't believe that some married guys aren't using 'em. I will say if he feels conflicted about whatever his situation is (which yeah, he maybe could have stated if he does, but maybe he does feel that, and just didn't say it) he might not be aware there are resounces and folks he can talk to about stuff like that. Not necessarily my job, IMO to tell him he should (and who knows if he is, he didn't say), but since he wasn't specific re: His circumstances, I figured the chance was 50-50.

And any decent counsellor isn't gonna tell someone to stay or go, or exactly how to get their needs met, but if they feel alienated about the fact they even have bdsm inclinations, or feel they can't tell their partner, or their partner won't try to do bdsm, maybe they could help 'em w/that, too. How can that really be an uncommon situation, w/all of those ProDommes out there? Plus bdsm isn't exactly common (10% of folks do it, or something?) He didn't say that was the situation, but maybe it is (who knows?).

And a decent bdsm oriented or kink aware counsellor might be able to point 'em toward a reference or source, or maybe other resources as far as Pro Dommes, etc. or non-pro Dommes, and they are gonna help them make the best decision for them in their particular circumstance, and help them weigh pros and cons as far how to deal w/their marriage, etc., should they need to discuss that.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 3/15/2007 11:52:14 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:12:34 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

<snipped>Perhaps where I live in Arizona there just aren't that many femdoms, or women are too traditional in terms of playing with married men. I haven't any luck at collarme.

Bold emphasis Mine...

*laffing* NOT! There are plenty of us around. And we even meet on a fairly regular basis (FemDom/submale munches), but I am sure you could not or would not come to one of those.
I am sorry to say that I have seen your profile in passing before, as I have the Az folks come upon My list, so I see profiles whenever I sign in. And, yes, I would pass you right by. Not only because you are married, but your profile really does make it quite clear that you are looking for simple role play at your convenience and as a freebie to boot. You also make it more than clear, not once, but twice, that it is highly likely your marriage that necessitates this "discretion". If this is not so, then I would strongly suggest you find another way to word your profile.
And this has nothing to do wtih the state you live in. It has to do with the fact that, just because we (The Ladies, all of Us, from Alabama to Wyoming) are on an alternative lifestyle site, it does not mean that we are desperately seeking a BDSM play buddy.

quote:

Most of the women seem to want serious relationships instead of just adult play.

Bold emphasis Mine.

Yes...
And with this line in your OP, you make it clear that you do seek only play, and that is not an interest for most Ladies. We can snap our fingers anytime we want that. So, your next hurdle would be to determine how you might want to be chosen for that disposable playtime. You can't just put up a profile and a less than appealing photo that is obviously a "here I am Ladies! Use me, use me..." and expect your inbox to be filled with offers for BDSM *discreet* dates. If you want to be realistic, we get offers like that every day, all day long.
What is more difficult to find is the boy who is seriously submissive and willing (and available) to invest the time into an actual relationship, instead of a couple of hours a week, after which he runs home to his vanilla wife and his vanilla life.
Okay...'nuf said. I just really wanted to clear up the whine about the lack of Az FemDoms.
Betcha I will never see you at one of My munches. Or you could try The ArizonaPower Exchange (APEX). That's a pretty big organization, and practically in your backyard. Of course, that may not work for you either, since you need to be discreet.
So be honest...all you are really looking for is someone who is willing to meet with you on a somewhat regular basis to feed your need, without you really having to put forth any effort regarding a relationship, or actually participating, realtime in this alternative lifestyle. It is your little secret that must be kept secret.
Even referring to your lack of success as "I haven't has any luck at collarme" sounds very trollish to Me.

quote:

Could it be there is a better place for me to list myself?

You should check out some of the other suggestions that have been given in all sincerity. It would be really nice if you came back and addressed some of the questions and thanked the people who are trying to steer you in the right direction.That would be the polite and classy thing to do, rather than just hit and run.
Just the opinion of one Az FemDom in this very dry state.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 3/16/2007 1:16:19 AM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
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Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to azjojoba)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 4:42:31 AM

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39401

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Llyren)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 4:46:29 AM

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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Hey I found the op who posted this. Sorry people he is burnt to a cinder from all of the flaming.

(in reply to dawntreader)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 4:55:09 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39401

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohmygod, heheh.. that's just wrong! LOL!

(in reply to dawntreader)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 9:48:31 AM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Hmmm.... did you know you can melt down cherry mash candies in a double boiler and stir in a bit of milk and have the most slurpalicious topping ever?

No I didn't!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to FukinTroll)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 10:51:07 AM

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Hmmm.... did you know you can melt down cherry mash candies in a double boiler and stir in a bit of milk and have the most slurpalicious topping ever?

No I didn't!

The more you know~ *little peacock flaps wings and flies away here*

Today’s episode of slurpalicious ice cream topping has been brought to you by "Troll! It’s an attitude.”

< Message edited by FukinTroll -- 3/16/2007 10:58:07 AM >

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The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 10:57:10 AM

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

Dude, one of the biggest complaints I have heard from women is the number of married men online here. So, I would have to say... some married men might get lucky.

If you are married and looking for a female sub/slave that is BiSexual, that is another story.

I don't know about how most Dommes feel, I think some of them have issues with Married men. One thing is the Drama Factor, another is the Commitment Factor.

I myself, I am single.. and it's not easy either... with that said, it's funny that many
people seem to think this site is like "Collarme.com.... so easy a caveman can do it".

This is anything but true at all.

(in reply to azjojoba)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 11:24:50 AM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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people seem to think this site is like "Collarme.com.... so easy a caveman can do it".

Thats the problem to many cavemen are here trying!!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 12:36:53 PM

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

people seem to think this site is like "Collarme.com.... so easy a caveman can do it".

Thats the problem to many cavemen are here trying!!!!

Magik's slave

Excellent!!!! LOL

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:16:40 PM

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
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quote:

Never try to cheat with a single Domme or a Domme who is honest with her husband/partner. You need to find someone dishonest and looking to betray her partner (as presumably you are plannng to do?). She will enjoy the thrill of cheating as much as you do.

That advice makes a lot of sense. I wish it didn't have to work that way though. I'm not sure I would be willing to say I'm willing to betray my partner, I just want to add to my life's experiences.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:19:55 PM

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

It would be really nice if you came back and addressed some of the questions and thanked the people who are trying to steer you in the right direction.That would be the polite and classy thing to do, rather than just hit and run.

You aren't being fair. I have no intention of hitting and running. I value what you had to say, even if it's not what I want to hear.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:21:37 PM

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Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Make sure your wife knows what you are up to and is consenting.

That's just not realistic.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:24:31 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

Never try to cheat with a single Domme or a Domme who is honest with her husband/partner. You need to find someone dishonest and looking to betray her partner (as presumably you are plannng to do?). She will enjoy the thrill of cheating as much as you do.

That advice makes a lot of sense. I wish it didn't have to work that way though. I'm not sure I would be willing to say I'm willing to betray my partner, I just want to add to my life's experiences.

So she does know? Betrayal comes in a lot of forms. Valyraen doesn't care if I scene with others - as long as I've asked permission first. Your wife may feel betrayed by you simply looking elsewhere without talking to her first. Try reading the book "When Someone You Love is Kinky" and then giving that to her.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to azjojoba)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:25:35 PM

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
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quote:

I know I just started here but it seems, in looking through profiles the past couple of days, that this site is more about serious relationships. I am looking for friendship and like-minded people who share the wonderful idea of a female-dominated lifestyle. Not every guy is looking for "sex" and/or "playtime". My wife is an Alpha Female in the corporate world but has no interest in any aspect of bdsm.

Apparently there are quite a few guys like us out there. My wife is definitely an alpha female, but she isn't into BDSM. It's just that simple. From what I have seen at collarme, alt, and a few others, most so-called femdoms still are very traditional -- they want a monogamous relationship but they want to be the boss. These women don't really seem to be that liberated in their thinking. They are just into role reversal.

(in reply to silentrunner)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:26:14 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

Make sure your wife knows what you are up to and is consenting.

That's just not realistic.

Have you tried talking about it? Remember - if you are hiding it to try and avoid divorce, just imagine how delicious everything will sound at divorce proceedings if she does find out you've been carrying on behind her back.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to azjojoba)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:27:23 PM

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

perhaps you would have more luck with a pro-domme if that is the case

I actually tried a pro domme. It wasn't bad, but the very fact that I have to pay sort of subverts the idea of submitting. Let's face it, if I pay I'm the boss, even if she is the one doing the dominating.

(in reply to hisannabelle)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:29:29 PM

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Ok, on an unrelated note the blurry pic of your ass in tighty whitey's is NOT attractive.

I am getting a lot of flack over that picture. OK, so besides a direct face shot which I won't do for reasons of privacy, what kind of picture do you suggest?

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:30:12 PM

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

Excuse me, but "so-called femdoms"?????

You come on here wanting to know where all the easy chicks are (paraphrasing based upon your last post), and why you haven't had any luck, and then you say something like that? Oh puh-lease ... you just answered your own question.

Just because we aren't interested in helping you cheat doesn't mean that we are monogamous (please note that multiple women who answered your post are poly) or traditional or any less Dominant. It means that we have standards that we are not willing to compromise because you are a petulant, whiney little sleezeball.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 3/16/2007 1:32:16 PM >

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Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

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(in reply to azjojoba)

RE: do married guys have much luck here? - 3/16/2007 1:31:19 PM

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Ofcourse that might work for the whitey tighties!!

Can't you give me a little slack?

(in reply to dawntreader)

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