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RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 7:57:44 AM

Dnomyar

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Jauntyone. What people experience has nothing to do with maturity. A group of people could have the same experience and come away with different points of view on that experience. Some could grow from it and others just blow it off because the experience is meaningless to them. Does that make them imature.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 41

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 8:11:38 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Jauntyone. What people experience has nothing to do with maturity. A group of people could have the same experience and come away with different points of view on that experience. Some could grow from it and others just blow it off because the experience is meaningless to them. Does that make them imature.

Which simply shows that regardless of your life experience, or age, there is a distinct chance of you being as mature as a 12 year old at 60.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 42

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 8:19:54 AM

MasterFireMaam

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Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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To me, it's how they act and handle crisis. Experience doesn't necessarily equate to maturity. I know some 18-25 people who act more responsibly than those 40+.

Master Fire

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(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 43

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 8:21:03 AM

Dnomyar

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Mature or Imature. It shows in the answers to this post. I just gave my opinion and asked a simple question. I have no problem if you have a different opinion than mine. I may be able to learn something from it and change mine. Then again I might not. I post a lot on here. It is just to try to clairfy what somone else said in another post without stealing someone elses thread. There is no perfect way to write a post it seems. So if you hav a problem with it try to deal with it in a mature way.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 44

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 8:21:30 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
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From: Chicago, IL
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looking back at my own life, i was raised and treated like an mature adult at an early age however in many ways it was also a disadvantage for me. since i grew up too soon too fast, i reverted to an immature state between 18 and 24 until the birth of my oldest UM. that's when i put aside childish things and grew up because i was responsible for another. yet i have seen profiles of 18 + yr olds who claim they have x-number of years of experience and/or tried everything as a Dom/me (which i highly doubt) or they're collared submissives looking for a 3rd for their Master - honestly i sometimes think it's just a sexual fad/phase they're going through of experiencing the adult life until they grow tired and move onto something else that attracts their attention.

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Post #: 45

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 8:23:35 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
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From: Anchorage Alaska
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Jauntyone. What people experience has nothing to do with maturity. A group of people could have the same experience and come away with different points of view on that experience. Some could grow from it and others just blow it off because the experience is meaningless to them. Does that make them imature.

Greetings Dnomyar

I do not disagree that experience has nothing to do with maturity. I do however believe that what you do with that experience does.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 46

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 8:27:16 AM

LadyAnnabelleLee

Posts: 180
Joined: 2/21/2007
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Well, I suppose I've got a goodly amount of say on this topic seeing as I'm only 20. To me, the person who stated traumatic events don't equate maturity was correct. They don't. How you deal with them and how you use those events in YOUR life does. Everyone has their past horrors, and that doesn't mean they're any more unimportant then the next persons.

As you've probably guessed by now I've had mine. However it was how I chose to deal with that experience, the mannerisms and treatment of people around me (friends, family and the like) that made me mature faster then my peers.

Am I completely mature?
No. I'm 20 fer chrissakes!

Do I have a better grasp and understanding of what I want then most?
Yes. However I continue to develop it. (Did I spell develop right? It looks wrong.)

Sincerely,

Lady Annabelle Lee

_____________________________

It is the loud few that speak for the quiet many. ~Me

And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
~An excerpt from "Annabel Lee" by Edgar A

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 47

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 8:27:54 AM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Mature or Imature. It shows in the answers to this post. I just gave my opinion and asked a simple question. I have no problem if you have a different opinion than mine. I may be able to learn something from it and change mine. Then again I might not. I post a lot on here. It is just to try to clairfy what somone else said in another post without stealing someone elses thread. There is no perfect way to write a post it seems. So if you hav a problem with it try to deal with it in a mature way.

Generally, when one is trying to write a non-offensive post, one does not say "X,Y, or Z, is bullshit" and then add "in my humble opinion" as though it somehow negates the fact that you just insulted every young person here. If you think an 18 year old can't possibly be mature, how do you feel about 20? 22? 25?

Some 18 year olds are mature. We've agreed with you in that if they have to convince you they are, then they probably aren't. But frankly, I've seem more immature behavior come from older men.

I've never had an 18 turn into a whining baby because I said "No, I'm not leaving my dominant for you.". I've never had an 18 year old try, repeatedly, to bribe my away from my dominant. And I've never, ever, had an 18 year old ask for porn shots (amazingly in my opinion). These all come from 40+ men and sometimes women. These are not mature behaviors and apparently age has nothing to do with them.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/27/2007 8:28:27 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 48

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 8:57:53 AM

sublizzie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44
Owning a home, having a job, having been or being married and having kids does not necessarily mean that one is mature. Nor does not having or doing those things make them immature. Maturity is being able to take responsibilties on and handling them. And I have seen plenty of adults that can't do that and plenty of teens coming out the gate that can. You may not want to give a younger person the benefit but I will until they show me otherwise.

I would agree with this. My husband was not mature when he died at 54 even though he'd been married, owned a house, and had kids. But he wasn't the one who made sure the house payment and bills were paid, kept the kids fed, clothed, and raised, and did the mature things an adult does when they are responsible. OTOH, both of my kids are mature in ways that their father never was.

One doesn't have a choice about becoming an adult but they do have a choice in becoming mature. I see some 18-25 year olds who are making the choice to mature. I can respect them.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 49

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 9:04:23 AM

dawntreader

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Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone

Maturity comes in many different packages. None will ever look the same.

melissa

Exactly!!!! Maturity should not be confused with experience! i love what you have posted above!!!

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(in reply to jauntyone)

Post #: 50

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 9:13:10 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature?

This is something the 18 year old will understand as they get older and move forward in their life. No one can explain it to the 18 year olds to their satifaction.. so I no longer try.

I, myself, was guilty as charged. I was so DAMN smart and mature at 19. I look back at those days and get embarassed.

So to those young'uns wondering why.. all I CAN say is "wait for it".

Until then, I just pat them on their head and say "Bless your heart".

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I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 51

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 9:16:41 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

i try not to think too much about maturity, personally. i read people's posts; sometimes i'm surprised by the ages of the people who say these things and sometimes not.

i've had my share of traumatic experiences; i know what it is like to be orphaned, i know what it is like to be raped, i know what it is like to deal with serious health problems, i know what it is like to have to completely and totally support yourself, emotionally and mentally. do i think these things make me mature? i don't really care.

i try to conduct myself in the best possible way based on the things i have learned throughout my life, and i take others based on how they conduct themselves. if they conduct themselves like idiots, they conduct themselves like idiots, regardless of how old they are. after seeing many people who defy the age equals maturity idea, i no longer expect 18 year olds to be immature and 40 year olds to be mature.

i live in a college town, so i have plenty of chances to see 18-20 year olds who've had everything handed to them, not had to work a day in their life, and who act like spoiled brats. that, to me, is the pinnacle of immaturity - but that's because i was disenchanted from an early age on the whole silver spoon thing, so it's not necessarily what someone else would consider immature. then again, there are plenty of people i go to school with who have amazing heads on their shoulders, too.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 3/27/2007 9:17:08 AM >

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Post #: 52

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 9:27:44 AM

PONYSEEKER

Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Step back and just think about all of the threads started on these message boards that make you roll your eyes and go wtf. The majority aren't started by 18 year olds. They are started by "mature" grown adults who are completely clueless when it comes to life. People don't suddenly hit a certain age and gain insight and knowledge about life. Some have it at fifteen. Some never get it. I can give you handfuls of mature men I've talked to who are extremely immature just as I can give you handfuls of men who are wise at 18. Maturity is not age related. And that goes both ways.

Well said, furthermore, I think at my age an 18 year old should appear very imature to me however to another 18 year old they could be the best thing since sliced bread. Its a matter or perspective. Youth deservs respect in the sense that is fleeting and when I see someone that is young trying to learn anything and struggling with the same exact issues as us older folks then I attempt to keep any smart ass comments to myself.... its not like I was any different at that age and if they feel that they are the bomb then why not let them feel that way. I know what I am like, I dont have to cut down some poor kid to make me feel better. Young people are generaly really stupid but with a bad attitude from us Grandpeople thats how they stay that way. Open your mind up to them and be tollerant and maybe some young couple can avoid going through all the shit we went through.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 53

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 9:30:45 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature?

At 18 i had been working for two years and was about to get married. I also had my own home and a child on the way. You cant judge maturity by these things.

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(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 54

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 9:34:27 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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I dont care what you post it is going to be offensive to someone. If you feel the need to be negative about it go for it. That you can be imature at any age is a given. That you can be totally mature at 18 is BS. Because some have been thru hard knocks in life dosent make them mature. For the record I never take any of the answers to my questions personaly. It gives me a chance to see the different thought process out there. I thank everyone who took the time to reply.

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 55

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 9:38:26 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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dnomyar,

that you can be totally mature at any age is bs, also.

annabelle.

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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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Post #: 56

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 9:48:54 AM

MstrTiger

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature?

I see a lot of older people coming on this site claiming to be as mature as their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 60 year old is automatically as mature and wise as their years.

Why do you think anyone coming on this site has to explain themselves to you or anyone else? How deeply childish and immature, why dont you go stamp your feet and cry to your Mother about how these evil young people have outraged you.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 57

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 10:48:43 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
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I saw a coffee mug that said it best. It read
"How old would you be if you didn't know what number you are?"
Maturity and wisdom is like that for me.
It's not based on chronoligical age for me as much as all the other things required to show growth and understanding.
suzanne

(in reply to MstrTiger)

Post #: 58

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 10:57:36 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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Sweet Annabelle,

Yet another revelation you will realize when you get older is- those people you think are so "with it" now, you will see in an entirely different light.

What I find is how they all played a part in my life to make me who I am today.

Those who irritated me... taught me the most.
Those who loved me... I didn't appreciate the most.

Those who have died.. impacted me the most by the vacuum they left.

Bless your heart.. you have a whole life ahead of you :)

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 59

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 11:06:17 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature?

I think people have many, many facets to their personalities and those mature at different rates. I haven't had nearly enough time to be *totally mature*.

Saying that someone is *wise beyond their years* is measuring them against a held perception of what someone possibly is like at a chronological age. That's going to differ from person to person.

In certain ways I expect to see a greater level of maturity from my younger sprogs than my elder ones because I've come to expect it from their general behaviour. They all have different levels of maturity in different ways and that'll continue into adulthood and beyond.

agirl

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 60

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