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RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 11:35:34 AM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
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Lol -lol -lol

Now onto my part for this story. People are also not looking at other aspects of what an 18 yr old  lifes consists of. Not every 18 yr old will be the same but you cant put maturity on experience.

These kids probably go out drinkin on weekends ( not all) and make noise and other crap yet I know plenty of older people who do the same yet are considered mature.

In my opinon someone who cannot make anything that is of a serious nature a prioty then I find them immature.

What one person finds serious another may not. For eg. My room ia a pig sty yet I work. own a car, have a good computer (AMD AM2 4200 ftw) have a lot of friends yet my family,my work collagues and clients and friends all consider me to be mature yet others would view my dirty room and think immature.



(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 11:51:09 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		MstrTiger why did you come to this site? It dosent look like it was to answer the question. I dont see anywhere in the post that I claimed to be more mature than anyone. I just asked what qualifies them to be mature. Guess you werent qualifed to answer it.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 12:00:27 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe I am wrong...hell, I am 18.  But it seems to me that experience and maturity are almost separate planes.  I have only 18 years of experience at life; I have only learned a fraction of what is to be learned.  But I realize my inexperience...does this not make me mature?  I go to college and work full time.  I pay my rent on time, I budget accordingly...Many people twice my age are not as independent as I.  I may be lacking in experience, but I have the maturity to see life's lessons through, whenever they come.
Rose

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 12:51:34 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Step back and just think about all of the threads started on these message boards that make you roll your eyes and go wtf.  The majority aren't started by 18 year olds.  They are started by "mature" grown adults who are completely clueless when it comes to life.  People don't suddenly hit a certain age and gain insight and knowledge about life.  Some have it at fifteen.  Some never get it.  I can give you handfuls of mature men I've talked to who are extremely immature just as I can give you handfuls of men who are wise at 18.  Maturity is not age related.  And that goes both ways.


Well spoken!  I totally agree with you on this Aileen.   I would like to add some comments regarding BDSM experinces.  I started having experience when I was 13 years old.  With my Partener in Crime the Girl Next Door.  She was not a slave or a true sub... she was a sub of sorts.  But she was my best friend.  Things like body art, then doing magic tricks, that led into more ropes and all kinds of things...  Yes, doing bondage at an early age.  Innocent evolution.  Right up to using a bull whip.  Hell, I even made a bed of nails by the time I was 14 years old.  We even got into pricking designs on our bodies using sewing needles.  Played with hot wax and did some knife play even.  Blind folds even.. I'm trying to go down a large list of BDSM activities.   We never had sex, but if I had not moved away, that probally would have happened in time.  Who the Hell really knows.   Anyways, I even would hijack diabetic blood testing lancets from the house and we ended up using those too.. 
We had our moments, of sub and Dom drop..  One of the most intense things, I ever did was with a plastic bag over her head!  It was her idea for this.  Damn.    So one can have a wide range of BDSM experiences without Sex or without it being from Abuse alone.    By the time I was 18.. I already had 5 years under my belt.   Without training an sub/slaves in a 24/7 thing, without having sex, and without it being abuse.

I tend to keep an open mind and let the other person explain to me what their true real life experiences have been at such an early age.   I myself just did not wake up one day and decided to give BDSM a try.  Hell, I don't even think BDSM was even coined as a term back then.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 12:57:18 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress

Maybe I am wrong...hell, I am 18.  But it seems to me that experience and maturity are almost separate planes.  I have only 18 years of experience at life; I have only learned a fraction of what is to be learned.  But I realize my inexperience...does this not make me mature?  I go to college and work full time.  I pay my rent on time, I budget accordingly...Many people twice my age are not as independent as I.  I may be lacking in experience, but I have the maturity to see life's lessons through, whenever they come.
Rose


Rose,
   Well said

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Flobots

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 12:58:16 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Fast reply to no one in particular.

If life is a journery, a constant process of growth and development, where we are always learning, advancing and experiencing, then whats the point of measuring maturity?

I havent owned a home yet. I havent had a family. I dont have kids. I lose my temper sometimes and blow up. I make mistakes. I dont always handle crises the best, but every month that goes buy I handle them a little better.

I have, however, managed to hit rock bottom almost completely and learn a hell of a lot on the slow climb back up to redemption.

Now, I am safely say I have my shit together, I am an adult, and my life is moving forward.

I personally dont care whether people find me mature because its subjective to opinion just like whether I am nice or mean. I only find it annoying when people try and make me feal less of a person just because I havent had certain life experiences yet. I doubt anyone here has had the experience of being old, bed ridden, and shitting in an adult diaper. I say we are all immature.

I dont feal I owe a certain amount of respect to someone just because they were born a few years sooner than I was. Old age just happens, maturity and wisdom actually take some time and work. I've also noticed its the ones who managed to make a complete mess of their entire 40 years on this planet who are demanding respect from me. (The fact that they demand it shows their immaturity and ignorance to me, in my opinion).

This thread boils down to a bunch of people who want to stick out there tongues and say "PPPPFFFFTTTT! I've had more life experiences than you! Neener neener pumpkin eater". So what? Those so called life experiences come only with time so why should I stress people's opinion on my maturity?

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(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 1:14:14 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature?


i am someone whom i considered "wise beyond my years"

why?

because this is what people told me, so after the 100th time, i replied, "fiiiiiiine"

but if i had to put my finger on it here is what i would attribute it to:

*deaths of siblings
*loss of a mother
*unknown whereabouts of a biological father
*on my own at 17
*employed since 13
*a childhood which i consider scarring [poverty, witnessing abuse, only girl, etc]
*having to defend myself against 13 y/o cliques and their small town ways
*fire
*watching a prominent family fall
*finding out there are perverts among you
*being a "victim" [abuse, DEA raid, etc]


the mental aspects

*recognizing your faults and weaknesses
*being well read
*being realistic
*being aware
*consideration, empathy and understanding



and yes while trauma does not always make the person mature, trauma that results in pushing you out into the real world, might.


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(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 1:23:45 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

This is something the 18 year old will understand as they get older and move forward in their life.  No one can explain it to the 18 year olds to their satifaction.. so I no longer try.



Does a 23 year old make you feal better? Does that count? =)

I think I am soooo damn smart and mature right now and look forward to laughing at myself 10 and 20 years from now.

Because if I dont...then I wont have learned anything in those 10 years and I should defiently be called "immature"

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 2:21:14 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

This is something the 18 year old will understand as they get older and move forward in their life.  No one can explain it to the 18 year olds to their satifaction.. so I no longer try.



Does a 23 year old make you feal better? Does that count? =)

I think I am soooo damn smart and mature right now and look forward to laughing at myself 10 and 20 years from now.

Because if I dont...then I wont have learned anything in those 10 years and I should defiently be called "immature"


LOL!   I was lamenting to a friend of mine who is 62, that I was going to be turning 54 next month.  He admonished me by saying .."54??!  Stop whining.. you are just a kid!".  So you see.. you will never be old enough nor young enough. But you will always be you and you will continue to change- second by second.
 
(P.S.  23 was 31 years ago for me :)
 

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 2:35:02 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
Those who irritated me... taught me the most.
Those who loved me...   I didn't appreciate the most.

Those who have died.. impacted me the most by the vacuum they left.


lotussong,

thank you for posting this, for it is so very, very true.

annabelle.


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(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:20:37 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

MstrTiger why did you come to this site? It dosent look like it was to answer the question. I dont see anywhere in the post that I claimed to be more mature than anyone. I just asked what qualifies them to be mature. Guess you werent qualifed to answer it.


By asking a question like that you are implying that you are better/more experienced than the people you are aiming the question at, if you are not implying that then what exactly was the point of your question? Also why I came to this site is none of your business and once again I ask the question why do you think I or anyone anyone else should have to explain or justify themselves to you?

< Message edited by MstrTiger -- 3/27/2007 5:22:50 PM >

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/27/2007 5:59:33 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature?


Not a lot of time to add much of substance here but hopefully, something in the following will strike home with someone.

Maturity is often more absurd than youth and very frequently is most unjust to youth.  - Thomas A. Edison

I believe the sign of maturity is accepting deferred gratification.  - Peggy Cahn

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.  - Woody Allen

Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.  - Bob Dylan

It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.  - Brigitte Bardot

Maturity is the capacity to endure uncertainty.  - John Huston Finley

Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits.  - Hervey Allen

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 4:12:16 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

MstrTiger why did you come to this site? It dosent look like it was to answer the question. I dont see anywhere in the post that I claimed to be more mature than anyone. I just asked what qualifies them to be mature. Guess you werent qualifed to answer it.


By asking a question like that you are implying that you are better/more experienced than the people you are aiming the question at, if you are not implying that then what exactly was the point of your question? Also why I came to this site is none of your business and once again I ask the question why do you think I or anyone anyone else should have to explain or justify themselves to you?


And if you dont feal the need to explain or justify anything, then why are you even bothering to make this post?

The cycle of circular logic continues...



_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 4:51:51 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I am better than no one and nobody is better than me. If I rattle someones cage then it is their fault that they let it be done.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 5:13:56 AM   
WilliamWizer


Posts: 223
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I am better than no one and nobody is better than me. If I rattle someones cage then it is their fault that they let it be done.


I hope you are only trying to be humorous because if not you can't be more wrong.

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- she can do anything her Master didn't forbid her.
- she only needs to do what her Master told her to do.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 5:30:37 AM   
StellaByStarlite


Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Sweet Annabelle,
 
Yet another revelation you will realize when you get older is- those people you think are so "with it" now, you will see in an entirely different light. 

What I find is how they all played a part in my life to make me who I am today. 
 
Those who irritated me... taught me the most.
Those who loved me...   I didn't appreciate the most.

Those who have died.. impacted me the most by the vacuum they left.
 
Bless your heart.. you have a whole life ahead of you :)



Amen. =) I just fail to see what the whole uproar is about maturity/immaturity. It's really a matter of.. "Wait... you'll change over time"

I think part of the whole issue is that American society doesn't value old age at all, lol. It's very youth-oriented. We have the saying " Age is just a number", and we have constant barrages of botox commercials, hair replacement treatments, senior citizen assisted living developments... "I don't intend to grow old gracefully.. I intend to fight it every step of the way"

It would seem that for every young adult and teenager wanting to jump into 'maturity".. there is one 45+ wanting to reverse the clock.... straight back into advertising's targeted demographic.
Kinda screwy mixed messages, if you think about it.



(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 5:53:08 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I am better than no one and nobody is better than me. If I rattle someones cage then it is their fault that they let it be done.


I hope you are only trying to be humorous because if not you can't be more wrong.
 
Not wrong - just a different point of view.
Dnomyar is no more responsible for anyones 'feelings' than anyone else is.  If something touches you, upsets you, worries you, concerns you or winds you up - that is your emotions - no one else.  Saying different means you are disowning your own emotions and are therefore not responsible for your actions.
A classic sign of immaturity?  Let's change that to a 'maybe'.
 
Peace and Rapture


< Message edited by darkinshadows -- 3/28/2007 6:07:34 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 77
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 7:05:04 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Aileen has said it best...

quote:

  Step back and just think about all of the threads started on these message boards that make you roll your eyes and go wtf.  The majority aren't started by 18 year olds.  They are started by "mature" grown adults who are completely clueless when it comes to life.  People don't suddenly hit a certain age and gain insight and knowledge about life.  Some have it at fifteen.  Some never get it.  I can give you handfuls of mature men I've talked to who are extremely immature just as I can give you handfuls of men who are wise at 18.  Maturity is not age related.  And that goes both ways.

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 7:36:59 AM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		I was one of those few women who enjoyed turning 30 because i finally felt "my age". My mom used to tease that i was BORN 30 because i was a responsible person from the time i was a child (perhaps that was just my domme side coming out to control others :) 

But as responsible as i have always been and continue to be, i do not feel mature in all parts of my life. I have only in the last 2 years really been able to accept some things about myself and continue to learn more every day. I think everyone has varying degrees of maturity at all times depending on what is being asked of them.

My daughter is a mature 16 in some respects. Having health issues since she was a baby, going through her fathers illness and death, then her 2 grandmothers in the next 4 years left their mark. When he best friend was diagnosed with cancer last year, her previous experiences made her a better friend because she knew how to handle many things and how to give support. It did not make it easier for her to handle it herself. After all she is only a 16 year old child in many ways. She's a great kid and i trust her in many ways, but i also expect her to make mistakes because she doesn't ahve the life experience in some areas to know how to make better choices.

Guess what i am saying is each person should be judged on their own merits. I don't put alot of stock in anyone who feels the need to boast about their achievements excessively regardless of their age...

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 8:07:27 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StellaByStarlite


It would seem that for every young adult and teenager wanting to jump into 'maturity".. there is one 45+ wanting to reverse the clock.... straight back into advertising's targeted demographic.
Kinda screwy mixed messages, if you think about it.





Hi Stella,
 
I did the math.  Now if puberty hits at an average of age 12.  Most are still living with their parental units at age 18. They have had a whole six years of a possible sex life (barring masturbation).  How many meaningful relationships have they had to where they have involved MEANINGFUL sex? 
 
What?  You mean BDSM isn't all about sex???  Don't tell the 18 yr old.  After all, this is the KEWLEST way to get off!  And for a guy...he figures all he has to do is order a "sub girl" and he gets what he wants, all the time with no more commitment than to shout "Kneel NOW!" (or so he hopes)
 
For the girls: This is nirvana!!!  At last they have found a "lifestyle" where they KNOW what they need to do.  Subs serve. The good ones do what they are told and in return they have a loving protector, Daddy or slave. No thinking is necessary.  After all it's all about trust. After Timmy ran over her Barbie doll with his bike and laughed at her, her faith in men is now restored.
 
Unfortunately, you can see how the situation is diametrically opposed at this age and one can see why SOME seek outside their age group.
 
Now, why I do not consider young'uns.  I consider WIITWD the equivalent of college level sex.  No one gets into college without the basics.  And I refuse to be a tutor for their 'grade school education'.   BDSM is too intense without the basics (aka vanilla).I mean.. how EVER are they going to rebel against the dreaded vanilla if they don't know why?
 
They have a frenzy.  The hormones are raging.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 3/28/2007 8:11:44 AM >

_____________________________

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to StellaByStarlite)
Profile   Post #: 80
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