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RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 8:10:28 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Aileen has said it best...

quote:

Step back and just think about all of the threads started on these message boards that make you roll your eyes and go wtf. The majority aren't started by 18 year olds. They are started by "mature" grown adults who are completely clueless when it comes to life. People don't suddenly hit a certain age and gain insight and knowledge about life. Some have it at fifteen. Some never get it. I can give you handfuls of mature men I've talked to who are extremely immature just as I can give you handfuls of men who are wise at 18. Maturity is not age related. And that goes both ways.

I hereby grant Aileen all the 18 yr olds. I'll take the clueless "mature" ones.. at least they are house broken :)

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RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 8:13:02 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: StellaByStarlite

It would seem that for every young adult and teenager wanting to jump into 'maturity".. there is one 45+ wanting to reverse the clock.... straight back into advertising's targeted demographic.
Kinda screwy mixed messages, if you think about it.

Hi Stella,

I did the math. Now if puberty hits at an average of age 12. Most are still living with their parental units at age 18. They have had a who six years of a possible sex life (barring masturbation). How many meaningful relationships have they had to where they have involved MEANINGFUL sex?

What? You mean BDSM isn't all about sex??? Don't tell the 18 yr old. After all, this is the KEWLEST way to get off! And for a guy...he figures all he has to do is order a "sub girl" and he gets what he wants, all the time with no more commitment than to shout "Kneel NOW!" (or so he hopes)

For the girls: This is nirvana!!! At last they have found a "lifestyle" where they KNOW what they need to do. Subs serve. The good ones do what they are told and in return they have a loving protector, Daddy or slave. No thinking is necessary. After all it's all about trust. After Timmy ran over her Barbie doll with his bike and laughed at her, her faith in men is now restored.

Unfortunately, you can see how the situation is diametrically opposed at this age and one can see why SOME seek outside their age group.

Now, why I do not consider young'uns. I consider WIITWD the equivalent of college level sex. No one gets into college without the basics. And I refuse to be a tutor for their 'grade school education'. BDSM is too intense without the basics (aka vanilla).I mean.. how EVER are they going to rebel against the dreaded vanilla if they don't know why?

They have a frenzy. The hormones are raging.

Ouch... at 18 I was still a virgin and had had one of the most meaningful relationships of my life. It didn't work out but it lasted awhile and changed my life for the better. Not everyone thinks you have to sex to have a meaningful relationship. At 22, I'm still not much older but I've pack a lot of BDSM experience into my years. Do I think I know everything? No. I certainly don't claim to be mature beyond my years, but I think I give fair enough advice - at least by feedback I've been given. I certainly don't care if someone wants to seek their age group, I seek mine after all, but I think painting us all with one brushstroke is a touch unfair.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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Post #: 82

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 8:15:20 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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Seems alot need the peer acceptance

Some are trolls

Some are wannabes

Some embellish the truth

Some fabricate the truth

Some reinvent themselves

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

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Post #: 83

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 8:20:49 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Ouch... at 18 I was still a virgin and had had one of the most meaningful relationships of my life. It didn't work out but it lasted awhile and changed my life for the better. Not everyone thinks you have to sex to have a meaningful relationship. At 22, I'm still not much older but I've pack a lot of BDSM experience into my years. Do I think I know everything? No. I certainly don't claim to be mature beyond my years, but I think I give fair enough advice - at least by feedback I've been given. I certainly don't care if someone wants to seek their age group, I seek mine after all, but I think painting us all with one brushstroke is a touch unfair.

Have you not learned YET that I post MY thoughts on a subject instead of seeing it as PERSONAL attack on all in the referenced topic?

Your responses are typical of your age range. React first- think later. Jump on the soapbox. Lead the CHARGE!

But, thanks for a perfect example which underscores my point.

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Post #: 84

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 8:27:27 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Ouch... at 18 I was still a virgin and had had one of the most meaningful relationships of my life. It didn't work out but it lasted awhile and changed my life for the better. Not everyone thinks you have to sex to have a meaningful relationship. At 22, I'm still not much older but I've pack a lot of BDSM experience into my years. Do I think I know everything? No. I certainly don't claim to be mature beyond my years, but I think I give fair enough advice - at least by feedback I've been given. I certainly don't care if someone wants to seek their age group, I seek mine after all, but I think painting us all with one brushstroke is a touch unfair.

Have you not learned YET that I post MY thoughts on a subject instead of seeing it as PERSONAL attack on all in the referenced topic?

Your responses are typical of your age range. React first- think later. Jump on the soapbox. Lead the CHARGE!

But, thanks for a perfect example which underscores my point.

*Blink blink*

I wasn't jumping on a soapbox, merely stating my own experiences in response to your own and adding that I felt it was unfair to paint us all with one brush. I do not judge your generation by agism and middle aged men who try to get in my pants. It seems to me that your statements are more then a touch pointed, so perhaps I shouldn't respond to you anymore in this thread. Lest you continue to think I'm proving your point.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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Post #: 85

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 9:31:09 AM

MstrTiger

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

MstrTiger why did you come to this site? It dosent look like it was to answer the question. I dont see anywhere in the post that I claimed to be more mature than anyone. I just asked what qualifies them to be mature. Guess you werent qualifed to answer it.

By asking a question like that you are implying that you are better/more experienced than the people you are aiming the question at, if you are not implying that then what exactly was the point of your question? Also why I came to this site is none of your business and once again I ask the question why do you think I or anyone anyone else should have to explain or justify themselves to you?

And if you dont feal the need to explain or justify anything, then why are you even bothering to make this post?

The cycle of circular logic continues...

Because it amused me to do so.

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Post #: 86

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 9:40:03 AM

MstrTiger

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Aileen has said it best...

quote:

Step back and just think about all of the threads started on these message boards that make you roll your eyes and go wtf. The majority aren't started by 18 year olds. They are started by "mature" grown adults who are completely clueless when it comes to life. People don't suddenly hit a certain age and gain insight and knowledge about life. Some have it at fifteen. Some never get it. I can give you handfuls of mature men I've talked to who are extremely immature just as I can give you handfuls of men who are wise at 18. Maturity is not age related. And that goes both ways.

I hereby grant Aileen all the 18 yr olds. I'll take the clueless "mature" ones.. at least they are house broken :)

This Aileen woman seams clever though if she thinks she is getting all the mature 18 year olds she has got another thing coming, I require many slaves to fill a small swimming pool full with custard I feel a naked bitch fight coming on.

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Post #: 87

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 9:41:34 AM

AquaticSub

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... ok.... suddenly I'm so glad I'm not 18 anymore and I'm not sure why...

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Post #: 88

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 9:43:00 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
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quote:

This Aileen woman seams clever though if she thinks she is getting all the mature 18 year olds she has got another thing coming, I require many slaves to fill a small swimming pool full with custard I feel a naked bitch fight coming on.

Custard is yummy, but not too practicle for the pool... but you can walk on it... scientific fact

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RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 9:45:11 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

This Aileen woman seams clever though if she thinks she is getting all the mature 18 year olds she has got another thing coming, I require many slaves to fill a small swimming pool full with custard I feel a naked bitch fight coming on.

Custard is yummy, but not too practicle for the pool... but you can walk on it... scientific fact

Thanks. Now I'm picturing the second coming of the Savior, making his grand enterance on a sea of custard.

Don't ask how I got that...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Post #: 90

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 10:52:29 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
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I started in the lifestyle when I was 18... I am now 20. I have been with the same wonderful Master for the whole time.

I have been told by many who have been in the lifestlye for 20 or more years that I am very knloegeable for my age, I don't nessacerily beileve or not beileve those complaments.

I was lucky. I have a wonderful Master who is very pashen with me when I act my age.

Some people are honest when they ssay they are muture for they're age, but the majoprity of 18-25 year olds are really just learning and feel that admitting that they don't know as much as some might limit thier opertunitys in the lifestyle or in play.

Shylah

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RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 11:19:13 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

I started in the lifestyle when I was 18... I am now 20. I have been with the same wonderful Master for the whole time.

I have been told by many who have been in the lifestlye for 20 or more years that I am very knloegeable for my age, I don't nessacerily beileve or not beileve those complaments.

I was lucky. I have a wonderful Master who is very pashen with me when I act my age.

Some people are honest when they ssay they are muture for they're age, but the majoprity of 18-25 year olds are really just learning and feel that admitting that they don't know as much as some might limit thier opertunitys in the lifestyle or in play.

Shylah

But you see...any wise person who is not an opportunist is going to look at those embellishments and know that they are most likely embellishments and be able to determine how factual his belief is through a few questions or a few actions. And btw, you don't have to be a young person to lie about your experiences. I've met quite a few guys who've told me they served in the Army or even more specifically, in the Airborne or the Green Berets and yet, a few simple questions from someone like me...who HAS served there...demonstrated that they were lying.

Age doesn't always relate to maturity. Maturity is most often defined as having come to full development. In many ways then, I don't believe that I am fully mature as I hope that I continue to develop until I die. Alright then...that is all very nice Creative and a lovely, poetic way of looking at things but for practicality's sake, what do you consider to be a mature person? For me...someone who has made mistakes and learned from them and shows that he has learned by the decrease in the number of times they have made the same mistakes. Maturity is when you come to the point when you can say you are sorry and mean it because you understand why you are sorry and not just say it because it is the expected thing to do or you want to "get over". Maturity is having a variety of experiences to draw from because you've sat down and thought about them and your part in them and have figured out the good and the bad of them. Maturity is understanding that the world doesn't owe you a living, that just because someone else makes a helluva lot more money than you that they shouldn't pay YOUR share of taxes in addition to their own, that education is always worthwhile, that you don't know everything and should at least give that modicum of respect to someone who knows something you don't and is willing to teach it to you if you are willing to learn and not bluff your way through, maturity is not spending the majority of your time whining how expensive everything is but instead, figuring out what it is you want...how much it costs...and the best way to obtain that legally...and being able to understand that if your job experience, education, financial situation, whatever...prevent you from doing that, then you have a couple of choices: lower your standards if you don't want to strive harder or strive harder. Bitching about how unfair "life" is, while O.K. occasionally and even understandable, becomes ever more immature the longer it goes on.

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Post #: 92

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 11:28:27 AM

BoiJen

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So I'm prolly about to piss some people off but I've seen this topic before on a yahoo group...or at least somethin similar...here was my reply:

""I think that it's interesting when people use the words "true" and "real" when refering to another person over the net. I find it more interesting that people do it in real life. Obviously we're all real. We live and breath and bleed...and any combonation of these. As for "true"...

In this lifestyle... we are who we say we are. It's not one's place to tell another that they are not a Dominant or a servant or a bottom or Top or whatever. It's not a "Dominant's" place to tell a "servant" that they are not a "true servant" becuase said servant is loud and opinionated. It's not a "servant's" place to tell a "Dominant" that they're not a "true Dominant" becuase they choose to have a servant inflict a punishment on them...it's their choice.

All of this is a choice. We all choose to live who we are and be who we are and we're not happy we have the power to change that. But it is not our place as individuals to tell another that hey are not what they feel to be...if they want to call themselves King Tut for the rest of their lives, then who are we to make judgement upon that? And why is it so hard to just respect that they identify outside of the conventional terms we use?

I've said on more than one occassion that I believe expereince only really gets to count for something when it comes to Topping and bottoming and when dealing with one's self. And I believe this becuase each and every relationship is different. Experience in one relationship doesn't apply evenly or directly to another relationship. Sometimes nothing you learned in one relationship will apply to the next. We as people bring new insights to the tables of our relationships every passing moment of the day and if we're healthy we recognize these growths and cope. That being said, the expereinces of our lives change us but they don't always make us wiser or more knowledgeable.

One thing I stand by is that it takes 5 seconds to figure out the basics of what we live by in this lifestyle. One person is in charge and somebody else isn't. It's not always the same person in charge. It's not always acted out the same. Sometimes there are limits. Sometimes there are punishments. The list goes on. This basic "truth" in this is what remains constant...otherwise we'd have to call it something other than BDSM.

All the above is my opinion and my opinion only.

The Boi"

Age does not equal maturity. Nor does it equal experience. There are dumb ass 18 year olds and dumb ass 56 years olds...even older. There are smart 5 year olds and smart 60 year olds. As people...judging how far along we are in the grand scheme...there is no standard...so we really can't make that judgement. And that's just my opinion.

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RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 11:30:05 AM

apettiger

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as i have told my son: wisdom does not equal maturity and maturity does not, automaticlly, equal wisdom.

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RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 11:42:59 AM

MasterLostsoul

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Personally, everyone has their own definition of maturity. I've seen 40 year olds act like 2 year olds, and eighteen year olds act like ones twice their age on maturity.

I do worry on some of them, but as long as they are legal age, who am I really to judge them? I do wonder on the eighteen year old Dom/mes who believe they know how to control others. I worry on the safety of the ones they are with, but really it is between them.

As for maturity. Some will say I grew up way too quick. Being widowed when I was eighteen kind of has that effect. I missed out on a lot of good experiences. I do relate to ones much younger than I am. But really, there is no way to define maturity until you take a trip down memory lane and walk in their shoes for a while.

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RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 11:46:57 AM

BoiJen

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what does being married and having kids have to do with being mature? Especially with this lifestyle. Think about it...we have a ton of fucked up kids in this world today...becuase the 30 year olds having kids aren't mature enough to be parent...and that's the young end of the parenting scheme these days...so that means people who are possibly in their 50's. Dude that was a really uneducated statement to make.

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Post #: 96

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 11:49:52 AM

BoiJen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeatMeDaily

immaturity is also putting down other people's views.

yes, post your opinion here and have others "grade" it, nice, real nice.
self-appointed ding-a-ling

hypocracy is increadible

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Post #: 97

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 2:07:57 PM

hereyesruponyou

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Spell check people. It's free. It's easy. And it makes it easier for me to take your post seriously

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RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 2:13:40 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
I hereby grant Aileen all the 18 yr olds. I'll take the clueless "mature" ones.. at least they are house broken :)

Good thing I like being pissed on, huh?!

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Post #: 99

RE: 18 and maturity - 3/28/2007 2:15:07 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Aileen has said it best...

quote:

Step back and just think about all of the threads started on these message boards that make you roll your eyes and go wtf. The majority aren't started by 18 year olds. They are started by "mature" grown adults who are completely clueless when it comes to life. People don't suddenly hit a certain age and gain insight and knowledge about life. Some have it at fifteen. Some never get it. I can give you handfuls of mature men I've talked to who are extremely immature just as I can give you handfuls of men who are wise at 18. Maturity is not age related. And that goes both ways.

I hereby grant Aileen all the 18 yr olds. I'll take the clueless "mature" ones.. at least they are house broken :)

This Aileen woman seams clever though if she thinks she is getting all the mature 18 year olds she has got another thing coming, I require many slaves to fill a small swimming pool full with custard I feel a naked bitch fight coming on.