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RE: Why are we so rare? - 5/28/2007 1:31:50 PM

Posts: 6
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Yeh I am a switch but the ladies I been with so far are so confortable so my experiance is mostly top 95%.

And when a sub or slave looks at my switch profile they think ah his switch. Thats almost vanilla....
He can't be a good master.

And they can't be more wrong. Loving both sides means I feel and have empathy with the
her I know whats going on so I can take her futher.

(in reply to biru)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/8/2007 3:49:15 PM

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I never thought I was rare. I thought I was precious.

(in reply to biru)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/9/2007 1:06:53 PM

Koala

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/5/2007
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I think that finding a compatible partner is a rare thing regardless of BDSM or vanilla lifestyle.

I haven't found someone that can put up with me long enough to prove myself wrong, at least! Hahah...

(in reply to biru)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/9/2007 4:53:47 PM

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Well until today I had never experienced any dominant being rude to me because of my switch status. To say the least, I was astonished to be informed "my kind" weren't real and that my email was being deleted.

Geez, and to think I was saying something nice and wishing him well.

People on here constantly complain about the rudeness abounding, I would say so. But in retrospect, the ruder they are, the less people are willing to deal with them on any basis. No wonder so many of these dominants complain constantly about not being able to find someone.

snicker.

(in reply to Koala)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/13/2007 4:55:39 PM

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Rare or Not I do seem to find it a lot tougher to find switch woman. Theres dominant and sub woman galore on every site but very few switch woman or at least in my age range.

(in reply to Gauer666)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/14/2007 5:19:15 AM

InnocentSinfor1

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/11/2007
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It's not the fact that we are rare, but many don't like to admit they are a switch. When I first started in this lifestyle I downed the very thing I realized I am. I figured you couldn't be both. You had to be one or the other. But through experience and education I learned that there is nothing wrong with being a Switch. I even took the step in creating a Switch_Forum to show that there are switches out there. I was wrong in my quick judgement. And a lot of people find it hard in finding the balance between both roles so yes they pick one side or the other.

(in reply to Gauer666)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/14/2007 12:17:24 PM

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odd, but the one thing that stands out, glaringly, in this thread is the literate abilities...taken as a general observation. syntax, grammar, and vocabulary all seem a little , perhaps more than a little, better than in the other threads.

goodonya !

(in reply to biru)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 5/7/2008 1:07:38 PM

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Joined: 12/29/2007
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Its just part of who we are. Ita also more rare i supose because we are used to classifying ourselves as one or the other, man or woman,straight or gay,
I suppose you can liken the dificulty experienced by switches to those of the bisexual community. Niether one or the other and therefore can feel or be mildly excluded. Maybe switches just havent matured in thier bdsm life and chosen one or the other. Or maybe they just classify themselves as one or the other and can express the ignored side through thier rl interactions, or by being say a "head slave" where they are dominant to the other slaves but submissive to thier master. I think that would be a nice place to be, personally. In other words, i dont really know.

_____________________________

You can have the stable partners, Give me a stable of partners.
http://myspace.com/vmistressv

(in reply to biru)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 5/14/2008 9:38:01 AM

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Joined: 4/16/2008
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I LOVE BEING A SWITCH.... in play if i have a top that doesnt have the experince that there say they have. i SwItCh roles on them.. not to be mean, but to help them learn more... not a lot of tops have the touch they might think they do.. but when you been in the life style for so long you know whats going on... MOST tops dont find it threating that you just SwItCh on them if you explan why....

(in reply to Gauer666)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 5/21/2008 3:28:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorddarkfall

I am Bisexual Male Switch, you want to talk RARE!! In the ten yeras that I have bee a part of the scene I have met mabye five or six male and female bi switches.

Make that six or seven.

How about 7 or 8? I am a bi f Switch and my puppy is a bi m with a developing taste for switching.

To answer the original question though, I don't think switches are rare per se, it's just some identify enough with one aspect of their personality over the other to advertise themselves as one or the other for the sake of simplicity and/or based on what they are primarily seeking as opposed to those who identify as switch from the outset. Even then the switch profiles I have seen and the switches I have known personally tend to be very true to themselves in regard to wanting to be able to experience both sides of the D/s BDSM, whatever dynamic as they see fit.
Are switches miserable? No. No more than anyone else trying to find the right person and what they truely are happy with in the long term.

(in reply to moki1984)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 5/21/2008 3:45:55 AM

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If we see our sexual identity as part of our whole selves, each of us has to "switch" sometimes. In this medium, we must make a choice as to which label we most wish to be defined by, but none of us really "is" the label. We are far too complex for any particularly specific label to truly apply. Besides, labels are sticky, and they pull hair off when you remove them. Each of us is probably dominant enough to push the button at the crosswalk, and submissive enough to hold down a job. I'd rather judge a person by the content of their profile and absurdity of their pictures than simply rely on one little label.

(in reply to Katandpuppy)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 5/22/2008 9:48:44 PM

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I don't think switches are that rare, either. However, a lot of them aren't looking for another switch. Many prefer to stay in one role with any given partner, so might be dominant in one relationship and submissive in another, but never both with the same person.

I also think that there are a lot of switches here list themselves as submissive or dominant because they think listing as a switch will make it harder for them to find a partner. Submissives usually seem to be seeking only dominants, and vice versa; neither are usually anxious to find a switch for a partner.

Edited to correct typo

< Message edited by hardbodysub -- 5/22/2008 9:57:13 PM >

(in reply to Gauer666)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 5/27/2008 3:36:18 AM

Mey

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Joined: 5/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorddarkfall

I have found that like me most switches tend to Top one sex and bottom for the other, I myself can either Dom or Master or sub or slave to females but I normally Dom or Master men, to date I have yet to sub or been a slave to another man

Well, my experience would agree with you- as a female bi/switch (ew! sticky labels! git 'em off!) when I see a woman bound up and at my full disposal, it makes my inner demon purr quite happily. But I have not yet met a woman who has tagged the energy right for me to feel submissive to.

With men, however, it can (and has) gone either direction.. though I've never switched roles with the same person. The relationship dynamic has always been *either* as a Top or as a sub, even with multiple occasions.

quote:

now back to the real question
No we are not as rare as you think but I also think that is can change with your location, in New Orleans it was switch mecca out here in FL I haven't seen half as many, in San Francisco it changed from day to day

I've been fairly fortunate to meet up with folks who're mostly accepting of my professed switch status, not typically getting more than a few sideways glances. But if people are going to feel the need to judge me by what sticker I happen to slap on my forehead this time (hey lookit! I got dozens.. ), their loss.

~M

(in reply to Lorddarkfall)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/1/2008 2:16:23 PM

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Joined: 5/31/2008
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Yeah, we are not that rare. Just people usual assumed for some wrong answers. Whether or not those switches have much or little experinces. I have little experiences and I enjoy being switch rather than one way street. Things take time to find right partner who like the switches. Just a thought

Eliza

(in reply to LeePerth)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/1/2008 3:52:40 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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Switches are so rare, because many others are self-fertilizing?

(in reply to Eliza76)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/3/2008 2:42:23 AM

tinytemptingone

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Joined: 5/26/2008
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New here and have enjoyed reading this thread. Switches are not rare, though I agree many do not label themselves as such. I've encountered quite a few who it's clear to me have a strong -other- side, though they seemed to be unware of it. And I can relate to that, it took me ten years to admit I had a sub side.

My profile says I'm a sub, not b/c I'm ashamed of being a switch, but b/c I don't want to be unindated with messages from sub males. I have a part time sub, I'm looking for a dominant. Or I guess I should say, someone to dominate me.

It has been my exprience that many dominants that do not switch a/o were never trained under a sub, don't "get" switches.

BTW, back in the early bdsm days, a Master who did not train under a sub was considered a dilentantte (oh how times have changed).

I've never switched with the same person, but I'd like to. I just haven't found that person.

The idea that switches are inexprienced or ill informed and just haven't picked "sides" is ..well laughable to me. Some of us really can do both. I personally find I am a stronger sub and a softer domme for being a switch, and I see that as a good thing.

tiny

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/11/2008 1:59:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Many people don't change easily and are more comfortable in a set role and equate that mental/spiritual with a specific BDSM role. But, for some, being more fluid is more natural. Just keep looking around. A lot of us recognize that being a Master or slave doesn't necessarily mean we must be sadist or masochist.

Master Fire

I think this is great advice that MasterFireMaam posted. Mind you, I don't consider myself to be a switch due to the fact, I don't have the whole submissive anything side going.   However, I have enjoyed very fluid play with a Domme. I'm also sadomaso which in itself by no means is a reflection of my orientation. I come with lots of limits and restrictions and I'm not big on somebody controlling me even for play. Hence, why I don't associate with being a Switch in my orientation.

Personally, I would not bother trying to fit into any label.   You are what you are, use the labels that best fit you and not the other way around.

I tend to think too many people get carried away with D/s to crazy levels of thinking.  To the point they wonder if their brand of toothpaste is more "s" or "D" type in nature.

You are what you, embrace yourself for who you are.   Self denial does not work out well in the end! I'm perhaps a Master at that learning lesson. At least for a decade!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/11/2008 9:54:02 AM

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My pet petie has a strong dom side to him he is very macho, but it is his very strong preference to serve a woman, me. I encourage him to explore his Dom but he is quite happy with chooosing to serve rather than be served for the time being. I think this really implies that he IS a switch but prefers to operate as a sub (and I like it that way).

(in reply to biru)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/12/2008 12:38:39 AM

Bleeding4Myself

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/22/2007
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I've been told that I was greedy for being a switch and that i wasnt "truly" in the lifestyle. But i've also been told that about my sexual preference as well (bisexual) so one just gets used to it.
I dont think we are rare...its just seems that way due to some closed minded lifestyle peoples opinions that keep us "in the closet" so to speak.
Bleeding

(in reply to biru)

RE: Why are we so rare? - 6/23/2008 8:42:46 PM

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Joined: 6/18/2007
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I don't think we are that rare either. I think because what I want and the fact that I am very particular in how and whom I switch with makes it more difficult for me. I am a dominant most of the time. I can switch in certain areas, not in others. On top of that, I like switch men who are dominant but not too dominant.. if that makes sense. I get off on seeing a man who is confident, self assured and mostly dominant, bottom and submit.

It just makes things more complicated.. but then I am a complicated women. I am also bi and like bi men, so that just makes it more interesting.... :P

(in reply to Bleeding4Myself)

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