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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:11:26 AM   
domiguy


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gothicdiva I am running a weight analysis and loss program...Just a few shots of your legs spread wide and I can calculate what type of caloric intake and workout regime would be necessary for you to drop those unwanted pounds....It's almost a Goddam miracle how it works.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:11:49 AM   
HisSongstress


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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
...Why are you all so angry?...I always thought fat people were supposed to be happy?...kinda like Burl Ives....


I was joking about this to someone yesterday. When I was fat, I was not jolly...just sorta evil and bitchy.  We joked that now with my weight loss, I am just distilled evil and bitchy......

...song...

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Before discovering bdsm, my motto was "Like me or bite me." But here, everyone seems to think that is an invitation.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:19:11 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UntamedStar

Does he mind you putting his pic on the forum?

p.s nice pic by the way...and you dont look like you need to lose any weight


Mixie is a very beautiful woman. Sometimes the most beautiful of women do not see how attractive they really are.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:19:51 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

Before proposing, no.
Before collaring or some equivalent, yes.  I have standards, I expect them to be adhered too.  A slave who can't obey doesn't belong in my house.  Its that simple.  I don't, as a rule, require specific weights... I go more by what looks good to my eye, the actual weight can vary quite a lot depending on the individual.  If 119 lbs is what is ideal for you and your dom, then that's your goal.

As for losing the weight, I'll offer only a little advice as I think simple works best.
To lose weight, do the following...
Change your eating habits.  If you don't change how you eat, then you will lose the weight only to gain it back later.  The only way to keep it off is to change your habits.  Learn to eat smaller portions, avoid eating for "comfort", eat to live not live to eat, etc.
Avoid harsh diets... if you can't enjoy what you are eating, you won't.  Diets that heavily restrict what you can eat never last because people can't maintain it as a habit.  Eat what you want, just eat less of it less frequently.  Enjoy your food, just don't eat solely for pleasure.
Lose weight gradually, losing more than 10 lbs in a month is probaby a bad idea for most people.  For 25 lbs, five months at 5 lbs a month would be reasonable goals.
You must move and you must breathe to lose weight.  That means you must be getting some form of regular exercise and it must cause you to breathe.  What that exercise may be will vary from one person to the next, what matters is that you are moving around and its causing you to really breathe.  For some that may be nothing more than going for regular walks, others might need heavy work outs at a gym... the important thing is to do what your body needs... and it needs to move and breathe.  If what you are doing isn't causing you to really breathe, you aren't moving enough.  When you are breathing strongly, you're moving enough.  When you start sucking air, time to take a break.  Simple.

Best wishes

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:22:48 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


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if she didn't want opinions / replies about his decision to motivate her weight loss with a wedding ring, then she shouldn't have posted the question on the forums. no one was attacking her personally however using the mere promise of  marriage as a pawn is totally wrong. it's not a game to be played with conditions and promises - it's a lifetime committment of loving each other unconditionally whether one is bbw or thin ...you are accepting your partner as they are not molding them into the perfect trophy designed to sit on a shelf.  and those what ifs do come into play - if she doesn't lose the weight, will he leave for a newer and better model?  i would hate to see that happen to her.  that is what i have a problem with - her D's mentality about marriage.

btw - i'm not a child to you ...i'm a woman thank you very much


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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:25:01 AM   
juliaoceania


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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavetrainer2007

Ok i must go as i have things to do. Before i do i would like to say this.

Mixie asked for opinions given the info she gave. From page one her relationship, her dom, and her were dragged through the mud. She asked for  opinions  and advice  not to be a punching bag.

The girl had to resort to defending herself constantly instead of taking in advice and then she gets beat on more for defending herself. Im rather disappointed in how childish this thread as become. Is it so hard to give an opinion without having to insult and disrespect the same people you ask for opinions from in other threads?

People come here to learn various things and to interact with others in the lifestyle. Today we have learned to stereotype people as superficial because their mindset doesnt meet your own. We have learned how to kick and stomp someone asking for opinions from people she shares views with on the regular basis. We have learned how to interact in a verbally abusively  enviroment.

Congratulations, we are now children. school is dismissed.


I have to say, you seem to be taking this entire thread personally, it is not about you.

I also have to say it is very hard to ask people give input, advice, or opinions in a vacuum. If I asked for other perspectives on my situation, I would do so knowing that there are way too many posts to my name for people not to assume things about my relationship and that they would make assumptions based upon the context that 1000s of posts have created. To ask otherwise seems to go against human nature...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:26:47 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Fuck it, let's get this back on topic and talk about how I can snag me some fat girls.

Ron the Munificent, and man of large appetite.


 


right here, baby, come get this choco-licious bbw with 50DDs to boot too



I am so--- there.

Ron


you're sooo welcome...


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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:29:14 AM   
NakedGirlScout


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Ok I was trying hard to shut up and keep it shut, but I've come undone.
My master is overweight. I've just sent away for a do-it-yourself divorce kit. I'm going to pull it out tonight and surprise him with it. Since this is a serious health issue and he's quite overweight, I assume that he will be nothing short of delighted when I tell him that if he doesn't lose 25 pounds in the next month I'm going to send the divorce kit in with my $300 -- all for his personal motivation. He needs this sort of strong motivation because at the moment he's only on a measley 1400-calorie per day diet, and I bet with this much motivation he could go down to 800 calories per day!
Is this a good idea?
I only want replies from people who say "yes".

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:33:11 AM   
BBBTBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

The girl has said she wanted to loose the weight...And now she has gotten some reinforcement from her Dom to lose the weight...What's the big deal?...She wasn't attacking you chubbies...But no, the talk always degrades how healthy and happy it is to be overweight...Why are you all so angry?...I always thought fat people were supposed to be happy?...kinda like Burl Ives....

Yes we have a skewed view of beauty in this great land of ours.....I wish I could change all of this, but alas, I am just another pawn trapped in the mentality of the times.....But I do like big butts and I can't deny.....But unfortunately they have to be attached to a rather small woman.....So the quest for the Holy Grail continues.....I am but a lonely Knight, "Sir GalwithassIhad."    Looking to plunder the perfect booty and fuck it on a nice round table.


Domiguy, you know I respect most of what you say....HOWEVER, you didn't come in until AFTER she edited her OP and took out the part about asking if we thought this was SUPERFICIAL of him to want this.  Most of the weight responses came from that particular question.  She has attacked people for answering that question and that is how it got all blown out of proportion....She  asked, she was given.  Read a few of the posts on page one of this thread.....Her original post is contained in a few of them

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:33:48 AM   
myobedience


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

 i wont limit myself to a man of ok looks just because he has a heart of gold, i am going to find the Man with a heart of gold AND STUNNING looks because i deserve it!

Amen !!   
 
And I believe He deserves the same, so I have asked for His help and together we work on that goal together.
                                 
                                      

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:35:07 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout

Ok I was trying hard to shut up and keep it shut, but I've come undone.
My master is overweight. I've just sent away for a do-it-yourself divorce kit. I'm going to pull it out tonight and surprise him with it. Since this is a serious health issue and he's quite overweight, I assume that he will be nothing short of delighted when I tell him that if he doesn't lose 25 pounds in the next month I'm going to send the divorce kit in with my $300 -- all for his personal motivation. He needs this sort of strong motivation because at the moment he's only on a measley 1400-calorie per day diet, and I bet with this much motivation he could go down to 800 calories per day!
Is this a good idea?
I only want replies from people who say "yes".

Yes excellent idea... he SHOULD be nothing short of awed by your love and compasion and concern for his health....to the point that you would actually LEAVE him...OMG nothing says love better then that...HE is a lucky lucky man


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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 11:15:35 AM   
domiguy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout

Ok I was trying hard to shut up and keep it shut, but I've come undone.
My master is overweight. I've just sent away for a do-it-yourself divorce kit. I'm going to pull it out tonight and surprise him with it. Since this is a serious health issue and he's quite overweight, I assume that he will be nothing short of delighted when I tell him that if he doesn't lose 25 pounds in the next month I'm going to send the divorce kit in with my $300 -- all for his personal motivation. He needs this sort of strong motivation because at the moment he's only on a measley 1400-calorie per day diet, and I bet with this much motivation he could go down to 800 calories per day!
Is this a good idea?
I only want replies from people who say "yes".

Yes excellent idea... he SHOULD be nothing short of awed by your love and compasion and concern for his health....to the point that you would actually LEAVE him...OMG nothing says love better then that...HE is a lucky lucky man



I am an incredible shallow fuck....Jokingly, a few pounds would not raise too much of an eyebrow in the course of a relationship. However, if it reached the point that someone's appearance no longer attracted my eye in a sexual manner then there is obviously a problem that must be dealt with....If someone's weight has a detrimental effect on our sex life but also impacts the health of the individual....Why would I want to stick around if the person is not willing to take some steps to improve our life together as well as their own health?

This is a far different post than the one that mixie started.....This is not the equivalent to someone who contracts some disease or illness, in far to many cases the overweight person bears the responsibility for their condition....I would not make it a sudden ultimatum but if this is something that has been going on for a while at some point a line does have to be drawn....

Yes relationships are for better or worse....But I don't think the "worse" covers someone who has let themselves "go".....I think many people deserve more out of life.

You might consider writing  your ultimatum with a permanent marker on the fridge...It will be sure to be looked at on a frequent basis.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 11:33:29 AM   
domiguy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

The girl has said she wanted to loose the weight...And now she has gotten some reinforcement from her Dom to lose the weight...What's the big deal?...She wasn't attacking you chubbies...But no, the talk always degrades how healthy and happy it is to be overweight...Why are you all so angry?...I always thought fat people were supposed to be happy?...kinda like Burl Ives....

Yes we have a skewed view of beauty in this great land of ours.....I wish I could change all of this, but alas, I am just another pawn trapped in the mentality of the times.....But I do like big butts and I can't deny.....But unfortunately they have to be attached to a rather small woman.....So the quest for the Holy Grail continues.....I am but a lonely Knight, "Sir GalwithassIhad."    Looking to plunder the perfect booty and fuck it on a nice round table.


Domiguy, you know I respect most of what you say....HOWEVER, you didn't come in until AFTER she edited her OP and took out the part about asking if we thought this was SUPERFICIAL of him to want this.  Most of the weight responses came from that particular question.  She has attacked people for answering that question and that is how it got all blown out of proportion....She  asked, she was given.  Read a few of the posts on page one of this thread.....Her original post is contained in a few of them


You know I dig you....I don't know if anyone has noticed but i tend to joke around a bit out here....But yes it is superficial and yes, as much as it sucks, L.A. is possibly on to some things with a few of  her assertions....People this world is tough and I think in applying this dynamic to a marriage makes things extra rough....You really have to be on the same page to consider marriage....The type of woman that I am attracted to, even though submissive, might wack me on the side of the head with an iron if I made a statement about her weight without some serious explanation and thoughtfulness when approaching the subject.

Either way mixie you seem to have a good heart and I wish you well....Why do people write in journals out here?

Anywhoo, tis a beautiful day in Chicago and I have someone special waiting for me to take them to the zoo....Take care all.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 11:43:58 AM   
junecleaver


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There are a million posts.  I'm not going to read them all.  I'll just respond to your original post. You don't like the extra 25lbs.  He is actively heping you by giving you some sort of motivation to help you reach that goal.  Whether or not that motivation is 'acceptable' is up to personal preference. You don't seem to be unhappy about it, but rather excited.  You want to be thinner.  Your Master wants you to be thinner.  Seems like you are both on the same page.  Lots of vanilla girls try to lose weight before their weddings. So many chicks say, 'OMG I AM SO FAT!' to get a reaction from the significant other assuring them that they are not fat.  If you really want to lose the weight, I would think your Master asking it of you is not a big deal. I'm really sensitive about my weight.  I've tried to picture myself in this scenario, but I'm still not sure how I would react. In the long scheme of things a simple 25 lbs is not that much weight for me.  (everyone has different bodily reactions of course)  I've lost 30lbs and there is no real visual difference.  My clothes are a lot looser and my face is maybe thinner....but that's it.  It's kind of sad actually. ;) Anyway.  I think you are absolutely gorgeous, always have since I first saw your profile.  You don't NEED to lose weight to be beautiful.  You already are, but if you want to enhance that then more power to ya and good luck.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 11:55:42 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
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From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
i am actually saddened that aesthetics should be a shameful thing. i want be be the best that i can be, and well dammit ME wanting to be that trophy slave, is something that i do for MYSELF and do as thanks for Him.


see, what i don't get is why weight has to be what makes one a trophy slave. i think i'm a trophy slave, but i am also 198lbs. i'm gorgeous, and a large part of what makes me gorgeous is the fact that i am confident in myself and in my position as His slave and His future wife regardless of how much i weigh.

He's not always going to be the man i fell in love with, just as i'm not always going to be exactly as i was when He fell in love with me. doesn't mean that we aren't still in love with each other...it just means a large part of commitment is commitment regardless of weight, illness, etc.

if you cannot stand to look at yourself in the mirror when you are not even overweight, that speaks to me personally of a negative body image, and losing weight isn't going to fix that in the long term, nor will it affect the psychological repercussions of said body image.

quote:

On a side note:  While their are many different opinions about submission and slavery.  I am in the belief a slave should be pleasing. And most i think would agree  with me.  Subs and slaves talk about wanting to please a master/owner/dom. But when it comes right down to it  many give fine print on how they want to please. A slave of mine will please me  in anyway i tell her too., including losing 25 pounds. IF she does not? if she refuses? then she is only willing to please me under certain conditions. To me this isnt giving yourself.  This is giving parts of you  that are convient for you.  Granted people have hard limits. Things that make this sick or just plain  scares them to death. and that is fine. But i think alot of subs bring normal everyday things into things they will not do, just because its an inconvience to them.

On that note, again in my opinion, slaves should be pleasing in all ways, that includes pleasing to the eye. They should not only try to be as sexually appealing and pretty as they can be but they should want to be that way for their M/O/D. So why is it so many are eager to please when their legs are apart but have  hestitations about sliming down a bit to look even sexier? perhaps its the opposite. perhaps the subs are so antisuperficial, they refuse to change their appearence because  they will then feel like their dom is being superficial. When in fact, they should be trying to  be the most pleasing sub/slave that dom has ever collared. It makes you wonder... who IS the guilty party? The Dom for wanting the sub/slave to looks as sexy and beautiful as she can? Or the sub/slave for refusing to( and often getting offended)  make herself more  sexually appealing?


it is damn near impossible for me to lose weight. if i could, and if i thought it would so influence His opinion of my appearance, i would. however, i can't. i eat well, i exercise, i walk almost 3 miles a day, and i am still in the obese range for my height. i think the problem here is that so many people equate thinness with beauty, and that's just not the case for some of us. some of us are considered beautiful (and sexually and aesthetically pleasing) by our dominants as well as ourselves regardless of how much we weigh. THAT is the kind of relationship i want. if He tossed me out on my ass because i was fat, we'd have big problems, considering the fact that He got together with me knowing my health history and the health problems i have that prevent me from losing weight. He doesn't force me to go to unhealthy lengths to lose the weight that healthy methods AREN'T getting off because i -don't- have any weight related health problems.

quote:

There is a difference between submission and slavery. A slave should do whatever she is told. A submissive has more rights than that. As a submissive/bottom, I have LOTS of everyday things I wouldn't do for my dom. I wouldn't cut my hair short. I wouldn't move from my home. I wouldn't change careers. I wouldn't give up one of my pets. I wouldn't stop hanging out with my friends, etc.


geeky, i have loved your posts on this thread...i think they are very wise. i completely agree with you here. however, as someone who is a slave, who is property, i have to put in that there are plenty of slaves with owners who still don't impose this kind of bs on them.

quote:

your statement also makes me think, M/s/D/s has sooo so so sso many different requirement, constraints, prerequisites etc, some much more weird, strange, nasty, rude than just weight. its shocking that requiring a good physical physique is so out of line.


mixie, you keep talking about games, requirements, prerequisites...makes me wonder what kind of m/s relationships you've entered into, because as a slave, i can't identify with any of what you're saying about that. just my humble experience. He didn't impose any games, constraints, requirements, or prerequisites on me...i gave up ownership of myself to Him of my own accord, and He treats that with maturity. neither of us believe in games.

on the whole, it's not any of my business except that you chose to post about it and i'm sharing my opinion - as someone who has been underweight, overweight, everywhere in between, who has an eating disorder, etc.... your entire attitude on this thread just screams bad body image to me, which won't cause you problems now, most likely, but probably will eventually in your relationship. it might be good just to keep that in mind.

annabelle.


_____________________________

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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 11:56:31 AM   
cloudboy


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D/S relationships fail when subs are unable to do what their DOMs want. Hence take care to set your goals wisely.

If you know you're not the type of person who can permanently change your eating habits (diets don't work LT), you are setting yourself up for conflict, self loathing, and failure by tying your marriage to your figure. Next, looks and fitness don't become less important when you reach age 40, but they do become harder to maintain.

I agree with you that submissives owe it to their DOMs to be fit.

The question is, can you do it?





< Message edited by cloudboy -- 4/29/2007 11:57:32 AM >

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 11:58:09 AM   
Celeste43


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So does he file for divorce if you gain some back? And can you throw him out in ten years if he loses his hair?

Besides ordering someone to lose weight doesn't work. Setting in place healthy eating and exercising practice will work eventually. If it's new lifestyle changes for both of you. Meaning he can't eat stuff that you aren't allowed nor do you have to spend three hours at the gym while he lies on the couch.

Let's hope you don't lose the weight by dieting in a drastically unhealthy manner that will cause your body to set your metabolism even lower because it thinks you're suffering from crop failure and famine.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 12:12:45 PM   
BeachMystress


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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
is it really too much to ask for Him to want me, not to change, but change for a SECOND time, back to the girl He fell in love with? not that horrific IMO

So what he fell in love with was your weight rather than the whole you? Now that you're a few pounds heavier he's no longer in love with you? Does this mean that when your hair goes gray it is a deal breaker also? Will he then go for a 119 lb 20 year old?


I think you need to take a step back and take a deep breath. Get over your defensiveness and listen to what people are trying to tell you. It is a red flag when someone uses a major life event as a carrot. Things might work out ok down the road, but then again... if he is willing to use marriage as a carrot, how about divorce as a punishment? Are you going to live with that as a threat all the time?


I'm sure you love your Master and are feeling very protective of him at this time. I strongly suggest you take this question out of the forum and to a mental health professional. The fact that you are willing to accept such an ultimatum means you may have self esteem issues that need to be addressed. In any case, if you're trying to be the "best you can be" for him, a couple of visits to a therapist might help you work on any problems or mental blocks. Check KAP http://www.ncsfreedom.org/kap/ to see if there is a Kink friendly councilor near you.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 12:16:30 PM   
GeekyGirl


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quote:

geeky, i have loved your posts on this thread...i think they are very wise. i completely agree with you here. however, as someone who is a slave, who is property, i have to put in that there are plenty of slaves with owners who still don't impose this kind of bs on them.


Thank you :) And of course, I agree that many slaves have wonderful owners that don't do these kinds of things to them.
Even if a master does feel his slave should lose weight, there is a right and a wrong way to go about it.


"Lose weight so I can marry you and have a trophy wife" isn't the right way IMO. The right way, at least for me,was when my ex-Master sat me down and said, "I know you have some self-esteem issues and I think a lot of it is tied to your weight. You are  a gorgeous girl, but I want you to be mentally healthy and I think eating better and exercising more would be good for you." After that he helped me by having me keep a diet and exercise journal that he viewed every night and gave me feedback on it. He made me feel like he wanted me to diet so I can could be a happier and healthier person...not because he selfishly wanted a trophy girl. He did sometimes offer me rewards for meeting goals, but nothing like using marriage as leverage!

BTW, Hisannabelle, I think you are gorgeous and any man would be lucky to have you as his "trophy girl."


< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 4/29/2007 12:18:51 PM >


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 12:21:25 PM   
defiantbadgirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

D said He would marry me if i lost 25 lbs...


hmmnn, if you lose 25 lbs and he marries you, and you gain it back, does that mean he will divorce you?



I've asked this very same question more than once & still I have not received an answer.

She says they are a young couple... what happens if they decide to have children? What happens when she gets to the point in life when she will naturally gain more weight.

I don't care how you look at it... this is superficial & placing unnecessary stress on the relationship.

What ever happened to the idea of accepting one another unconditionally?


The idea of having unmentionables is a very real concern when it comes to a woman's figure. No matter how careful a woman is about diet and exercise during pregnancy, things can happen that are out of her control. For example, what if too much amniotic fluid surrounds the baby? This causes major skin stretching and after the pregnancy, that extra skin stays there and sags. It doesn't go away. No amount of dieting or exercise will make it go away. The only way to remove it is through surgery which leaves a long, ugly scar. So much for a perfect body. If you wish to marry this man, remember that your weight will always be a concern. If you ever want unmentionables, you might want to check into adoption so he doesn't divorce you or worse yet, cheat on you and give you an incurable STD. As for me, I'd rather be with a man who isn't overly concerned with a woman's weight.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 260
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