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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 3:52:56 PM

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What's the big deal everyone looks tremendous thin....As a small Domiboy my mother,Domenique, would listen to the Carpenters...That Karen Carpenter sure was thin and had a very nice voice....She appeared to be the kind of a gal who would really enjoy anal...Haven't seen her around in awhile...Maybe she retired.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/29/2007 3:53:24 PM >

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 3:57:19 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subsa
so why not have what is already a strong motivator for her help her to do this (as many of you have pointed out) difficult task. shouldn't she use the best tools at her disposal?

lastly what should her Master have used as a motivator?

*shrugs* some of us simply believe marriage shouldn't be used as a bargaining tool. that's just our own perceptions of what marriage means...to us. some of us think that internal motivation is a lot better than "dangling the marriage carrot," which could perhaps in the future be bad for mixie's self-esteem with this man (and based on the fact that she has a hard time looking at her body in the mirror, i would guess her body image isn't 100% to begin with). just seems to me like there are a lot of unhealthy factors at play.

no one is assuming we have the whole story. we're giving our opinion based on what she posted. if she didn't want people's opinions based on what was posted, she probably shouldn't be posting on a message board made up largely of people who do not know her and her master that intimately. mixie's been here long enough to know that posting a question does not automatically mean you'll get replies exactly from the demographic you were seeking in exactly the nature you were seeking saying exactly what you wanted them to say. i'm sure she's a big enough girl to handle the chaos that often comes from posting here.

annabelle.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 4/29/2007 4:00:47 PM >

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 4:03:23 PM

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subsa, in my defence lol - i am happy for her and more so because her D is taking the initiative to be involved by doing so himself, rarely in my experience is this the case. However, from my point of view of course, things of this personal nature need to be done for oneself to be truely effective and longterm and not because so and so said if I do this then this will happen. If she can work with that and it works for her than all is good, yes? Well it should be.

The insta diets I disagree with though, body conditioning is a longterm commitment wether we are talking 5 or 500 pounds. Secondly my disagreement is in sitting on the message board and arguing about what you were going to do anyhow regardless of anyones input, it makes it look like there actually was another point to the thread besides asking what other D-types thought about how superficial it was to use weight loss as a bribing factor to a wedding ring, notably with another thought I had that slaves are not suppose to have demands or expectations on their Masters. And furthermore, people can talk all they want about being active or getting active, well the real test is getting out there and 'doing it' so go do it and then come back and tell us all how successful your task has been. Talk is cheap - so cheap its free!

But then again, like someone stated we are just handles with opinions on the board, take what you want leave the rest. If one cares not for general feedback then perhaps not posting might be appropriate, or if you have a view of selected opinions you want to hear post via email directly to the ones you know will provide the answers and interpretation you want to hear, and in addition if you are posting to a select crowd (in this case the D-types) post to the Master's area. *smirks as I take my post as moderator (not but starting to sound as such lmao).

I wish her and her D well in their endevours........ And again in my defense I responded cause I felt like I missed CBC's talkback this morning :)

< Message edited by unsung -- 4/29/2007 4:06:04 PM >

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 4:05:38 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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you weren't here for the original post before she edited it in the middle of the thread. marriage, subsa, is NOT a reward for losing weight ...nor is it a game built on the conditions and promises of committment if the partner loses said 25lbs. marriage, as i stated before, is a serious committment for life in which both partners love and accept each other unconditionally ...using the promise of an engagement ring as a motivator is totally fucked up, mho. whether or not her original post was a tongue and cheek, she did pose the question and we replied to what she stated offering advicing and whatnot.

personally if i was in her shoes, i would kick him to the curb because if a man cannot accept me as i am then he's not worthy of my hand in marriage. it's one thing to support and motivate a woman into losing weight but it's another when you're dangling a pair of wedding rings in front of her face as a promise to marry when the weight is lost.

now, my question to her - what if she loses and gains it back after a couple of UMs ...does he trade her in for an upgrade or will he love her for better or worse ...fat or thin?

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 4:19:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

What's the big deal everyone looks tremendous thin....As a small Domiboy my mother,Domenique, would listen to the Carpenters...That Karen Carpenter sure was thin and had a very nice voice....She appeared to be the kind of a gal who would really enjoy anal...Haven't seen her around in awhile...Maybe she retired.

an FYI, brighteyes..

In 1983, Karen was starting to take control of her life and planning to return to the recording studio and began making public appearances again. On February 4, 1983, she went to her parents' house to sort through some clothes she kept there when she collapsed in a walk-in closet from cardiac arrest and was pronounced dead on the spot. She was only 32. Doctors revealed that her long battle with anorexia nervosa had stressed her heart to the breaking point.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 4:25:02 PM

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~ Fast Reply ~

I think personally whether or not he uses diet, hair color, attitude, school, money, or anything else as a prerequisite for marriage is his option as her Master, period, whether I or anyone else agrees with it.

The issue I see here is not that he has required this of her, or whether or not she is fat, thin or anything in between. The issue I see is that self image issues penetrate far deeper than the superficial number on a scale or size of jean (yeah, I know, leave Jean out of this). She can get down to 100 pounds and still not be satisfied with her self image. What I'd be interested in is what measure, if any, his is taking to address the internal demons that are causing this. Because if he wants her as his slave for the rest of his life, he's going to need to know that this issue is going to come up again and again if not properly dealt with.

Having said that, good luck with your 120 goal. When I was in the best shape of my life, I could not get lower than 123 or I would become physically ill, and that was with proper diet and working out 4 times a week. Please be healthy about this. I have lost nearly 30 pounds in the last 3 months and I'm not hungry and eating quite nutritiously.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 4:57:48 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

What's the big deal everyone looks tremendous thin....As a small Domiboy my mother,Domenique, would listen to the Carpenters...That Karen Carpenter sure was thin and had a very nice voice....She appeared to be the kind of a gal who would really enjoy anal...Haven't seen her around in awhile...Maybe she retired.

an FYI, brighteyes..

In 1983, Karen was starting to take control of her life and planning to return to the recording studio and began making public appearances again. On February 4, 1983, she went to her parents' house to sort through some clothes she kept there when she collapsed in a walk-in closet from cardiac arrest and was pronounced dead on the spot. She was only 32. Doctors revealed that her long battle with anorexia nervosa had stressed her heart to the breaking point.

You know, you would think that she would have "people" who could do that sorting of clothes thingy for her....Perhaps this is why so many celebrities now have personal assistants....What a wonderful woman, even in death she keeps giving.

"Talking to myself and feeling old...Sometimes I'd like to quit... a fat subs pants rarely fit....Hanging around nothing to do but frown...Rainy days and fat subs always get me down...."

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/29/2007 4:59:48 PM >

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 5:55:25 PM

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mixie, i haven't read all the replies, only the first couple of pages, but i wanted to wish you luck in your endeavor (assuming you are going to lose the weight, maybe i should read more lol). as to how i personally would feel about it...well my Master has ordered me to lose weight before, when i have gone above what he feels is my ideal weight. and like your Master, he has always made it clear that he just doesn't do chunky chicks. my weight must stay within a certain range...between 122 and 130, and right now i'm on the upper end of that so i'm trying to push a bit harder and lose a few pounds. i think a Master's orders can be terrific motivation, at least for a certain type of submissive. however i don't think i would feel good about the marriage angle your Master threw in...almost like, "i won't marry you UNLESS you lose weight"...it would probably make me feel insecure about the relationship. although "lose 10 lbs or you're out the door"...doesn't bother me a bit, so go figure.

(in reply to mixielicous)

RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 6:05:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
i have never weighed this much & find my own body repulsive, is that enough reason from ME to lose it? i think so.

Apparently it isnt enough reason for you to lose it because you have stated in your OP that you are to lose twenty five pounds in order to be considered a suitable marriage partner.

Is that not the point of the thread?

quote:

wow all the silly standards so many other slaves have for grounds of termination i am SHOCKED this gets so much attention.

So, you posted expecting no attention as a result? That seems unlikely.

quote:

ok, the words "or i wont marry you" have never come into the equation. and who says marriage, something that we both already want CANT be a reward? isnt in the end the ULTIMATE reward?

So what you said in your OP was not the case and now the exaggeration has backfired and you resent the backlash.

quote:

yes, it would be totally different story if i though i looked fine!!

Im interested in how the story would go in this case, then. I thought this was about submission.
The more you talk about it, it seems like you want to go on a diet and you want some external motivation, which is a completely different song than the one you were singing in the OP.

You seem really defensive and kind of pissed off at the submissives who think it's a bad idea to place physical/weight requirements on something like a lifelong commitment...next time, instead of pretending to care what other people think about a subject, why dont you just start a thread that says "Im going on a diet and I want some attention". That way, everyone will know the real deal from the start.

< Message edited by justheather -- 4/29/2007 6:06:05 PM >

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 6:20:01 PM

lovetokissnylons

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Yay, I finally got to the end of the thread !
I'm not a Dom, so you didn't ask me, but Mixie, but I've read many of your posts before and admire your good mind (as well as your pretty pictures, when you used to post them). Have to admit that in this instance I completely agree with Puella, KatyLied, MstrssPassion,GeekyGirl,Mistforerin, Sambamanslilgirl,HutchGarahl, many many others, and, dear God, maybe for the first and only time, LuckyAlbatross. Mixie, step back and think to yourself: you HAVE admired and respected the opinions and thought processes of these people before, have you not ? So at least CONSIDER that they may be on to something here.

Not that it matters, but here's my own opinion of someone who'd say something like that to you:
"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy". Ever heard that before ? At least consider it, please.

Also, though it matters even less, I would tell you that, looking at HIS picture, and remembering you writing something before about him being an investment manager or bond trader or financial exec, and seeing that same bow-tie and supercilious -- not loving -- look from a lot of other guys I went to grad business school with ...... I have to say that I hope you DON'T end up losing quite 25 and therefore DO end up losing him. With no knowledge at all about your situation but roughly twice as many years on the planet, I hope you'll believe me when I say I that the likelihood is that you will be better off with a Dom you deserve more. Just my 2 cents.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 8:56:59 PM

Devilslilsister

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Oi Mixi, we've about the same clause in our relationship, so i know where you are coming from. We all have our preferences, eh? If Master lost alot of weight and became a skinny stick...... bleh.... and if i gained alot of weight.... same thing. We ALL have preferences.

As for how to lose weight. Eat alot fruits, veggies, soy stuff..... and stay absolutetly active. i found after my first pregnancy i didnt start losing weight until i went over seas and had to do alot of running to catch buses/trains/ect. Running, i think speeds up the metabolism. Which is what you want. Eat tons of small meals a day. Hell eat fruit and veggies ALL day long. (speeds up the metabolism) Drink lots of water. i've found that you can fill a belly with fluid... kills the hunger pains. Also, that alot of hunger pains is really your bodies misguided way of saying "i need water". Stay away from pasta's and anything that has high calorie content. Anything that your body can metabolize as sugar.. sugar is used for energy and if you dont use the energy, it gets stored as fat. Breads, pasta's, sweets. Stay away from alcohol. No soda's. Eat lots of oranges. Build muscle. But remember muscle weighs more then fat. Aerobics is good... weight training is good.... Stay away from fast food too - ) When it comes down to it, i think its about calorie in vs calorie out. Put less calories in.... put more out.. you're bound to lose weight. Oh, and skimp on stuff. Like i dont use mayo or lots of butter..... i do every now and then eat breads.. but rarely. You have to mix it up alittle bit...... but just be really conscious about what goes in your mouth.

IMO of course, this is just some of what i do. It works for me.

::smiles:: i've about another month before i start racing to lose around 40 lbs.. if you can wait that long, we can make it a fun little race. Nothing like competition and a buddy to struggle with!

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 10:46:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

greetings peggyo,

the problem is, bmi does not measure how much muscle you have. it simply shows how your weight relates to your height - it takes care of the fact that a lot of people consider 145 to be "pudgy," except that on, say, a 5'8" or 5'10" frame it's not - it's actually low end of normal, if not underweight. but i don't think it's necessary to hail the bmi as the be all end all - someone can be all fat, no muscle and have a low bmi, as long as they are weight/height proportionate.

Hi Annabelle,

You are correct. BMI is only approximate. If someone knows their actual fat percentage, that's even better in my book, but few do unless they're a fairly serious athlete. I know that mine is around 19% as measured both by caliper measurement and electrical resistance..

Take care,

Peggy

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/29/2007 11:01:47 PM

phoenixinchains

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          marriage done right, isn't easy. neither is losing weight. perhaps Y/your Dom seeks a gesture that you are have a will that survive nasty trials. forgive me if i'm too bold, but maybe he hasn't seen to the "determined" side of Y/you, and this is His way to test it.
          i'm 5'4" and weigh 125, which is a standard weight if you ask someone at a gym or selling you vitamins and suppliments. but when i went to the doc for fertility, i was told to gain ten pounds, which is suppose to be ideal for childbaring... eck, weight. muscle weighs more than fat, and often when women work out to lose weight they gain muscle weight (even though they're losing fat) and they get so discouraged by the scale.
       perhaps since men are more visual creatures, fitting into a certain peice of clothing might be a better sign that you have reached a "healthy" weight...
                                 Hope this can help-      Phoenix

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/30/2007 3:01:20 AM

mons

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greetings

this is a stroy many woman will face that one thing. lose wieght and i will love you more. it is so wrong. i have the love of my life tell me i was not big enough so gain wieght i was so in love and wow i would have did anything for him, so i gain wiehght just for him. wow then i was too fat . then it was this or that he had me going through hools for him, when i did all i could. he left me just like that. he left the first time when i was engage to him i was pragant then he came back that is when all of the things about wiegh came up. then when we whne to court he act as if he never meant me. want to take my child and oh what a charmer. just watch out for you no him your more important then anything always love yourself more. i hope it works out but it is one sign of a control master or man.
mons

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/30/2007 10:07:37 AM

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Congrats on finding a Master that cares about you and your health and is up front enough to say what he likes or dislikes concerning you. I had sent my former sub to the doctors to loose weight on several occasions with complete success (although somewhat expensive). I see no reason for you to feel in any way that this is somehow bad. It seems to me he is taking good care of you, which is what you wanted in the first place. You show the type of love and respect for your Master that I am sure a great deal of woman on this site look to obtain but are somehow unable to do so, with that thought in mind obviously you are doing something right. Your weight has obviously not affected his love for you. He is however forcing you to obtain a goal that you have already set for yourself and failed at accomplishing in what he considers an adequate time frame (you keep bitching about it and nothing seems to be changing). His image of his perfect bride is obviously the same as yours and by doing this you will have a much better wedding with out being self-conscious about yourself during the ceremony and for the years to come when looking at the photographs. To some, he may seem shallow and forward however he has more than shown in all his treatment of you that this is not the case. He is merely fulfilling his obligations to you as your Master. With any luck you will become that which he is most proud where he can use you to the best of his pleasure whether it be as a groveling piece of fuck-meat cum receptacle or a Princess to be taken the choice should be his and you should feel comfortable and derive pleasure and honor with whatever manner he wishes to use you. As you do. Embrace and succeed at the task he has given you. Don’t allow the have-nots to cloud your hearts judgment after all its what you have worked for the bulk of your life. Do not fear success; although you will have to change your focus a little when you are finally there be sure that you are never too comfortable in your position. A lazy slave always becomes second.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/30/2007 10:21:41 AM

MistressSassy66

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

D said He would marry me if i lost 25 lbs... granted, this would only peg me 5 lbs lighter than when i first met Him [my profile weight is not accurate, lol but was at the time] it would take me down to .... 120/119 [very reasonable i am only 5'4]

[and no it was not a joke or teasing on His behalf]

the ideal trophy slave should weigh 119 ha

D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

i dont mind, its a great motivation to finally get on that diet!

Okay its motivation for you,for someone else it could be devastating to the self esteem.
Personally I think that is a mean thing to say.I was told that once upon a time,needless to say hes not in My life anymore.

If its a health issue thats one thing but to be a "trophy wife" in My eyes is being superficial and more concerned with looks than personality.

Being with someone whether its a partnership or a marriage should be a relationship of unconditional love.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/30/2007 2:18:03 PM

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(fast reply)

For some people having a demand on you and a time limit to lose weight can be very stressful and counter-productive, causing them to overeat and gain weight due to the stress and cortisol production.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/30/2007 6:28:37 PM

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IMO:

I don't agree using something like marriage as an incentive or on the flip side a threat (i.e it could be construed as if you do not lose x amount of weight I will not marry you). To me marriage is not at all important but for people with a different view I just can't see how anybody would be comfortable using that as leverage... but to each, their own. Other than that I think it is a pretty reasonable thing to be asked to lose some weight as long as it's not to the point of making a person unhealthy... and if it was to that point then that's not a person I would be in any kind of relationship with. Good luck losing the weight if that's what you choose. I personally found the best way was to get pregnant and have 3 months of morning sickness but that's not for everybody

Just kidding btw.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/30/2007 6:54:45 PM

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~using fast reply, only skimmed first page of answers~

As a dominant I might set a goal for the sub to reach before officially being collared. I would not make a goal like that requisite of a marriage. I don't think I'd set a goal of weight loss for getting a collar or getting married, but I could be wrong, I think it would depend on the relationship.

However, I was unofficially engaged to my ex-roommate for a few years while my divorce was going through its insanity (hence the unofficial) and I saw a pattern of behavior in him. I told him I would not marry him until he had chosen to change that behavior. He made slow changes, which was nice, but he understood why I set the requirement. Unfortunately for the relationship, he didn't want to change badly enough, and would not commit to counselling. We broke of the relationship because of it.

If M set me a goal to reach before collaring, I would be willing to do it but I would not be willing to reach a goal related to my looks, including weight. If M said anything about marriage I'd probably drop dead anyway, so it's moot.

~E

(in reply to mixielicous)

RE: 25 lbs? - 4/30/2007 6:58:09 PM

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if he is marrying you..it better be love and not just trophy...BUT.......their is nothing wrong with him wanting you to drop some weight for him. you will feel sexier and he will be even more proud to walk down the aisle with you.

if it makes him happy and you..why not

(in reply to mixielicous)

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